So fascinating when i watched my vlog today after making it, that i immediately reacted towards it, in that i had this chatter in my head of "nah do it again", because i was judging the vlog as being "not good enough" because i failed to explain a point about a self definition of music energy possession while driving in the first recording.
Then after i re recorded the vlog, i considered that i have done this with alot of vlogs that i have made, i would say that about 60% of my vlogs have only been uploaded once i have re recorded. Here is a self definition that i have formulated, that i have identified before and done nothing about it, making the problem worse, so im gona go deeper into myself, investigate this further, re consider my application, and direct the point out of existance.
Its basically where im going into judgement of the vlog within and as the mind, self doubt, and only when i have recorded it with all the points in relation to the main point of the vlog will i be satisfyed with it to upload it. instead of realsing that what comes up in the moment of vlogging is what requires attention for application, i mean i am not making a film with "action" and "cut" where everything shown is structured and over a few years thought up and designed. Yet at times i am allowing this thought to play out, that i must apparently attempt to structure my vlogs. Vlogging is about self expression here, but alot of the time i am turning it into a knowledge fear based experience, where everything i am saying in the vlog has already been pre meditated and projected through and as the mind.
Its like i sometimes go into these points of recording to an audience, preaching, and fearing what others will think if i say this like this, or that like that. Its like im percieving and assuming what people would like to hear, and how they would like to hear the point explained, instead of just sharing myself unconditionally here. Its like trying to impress people with my words in alot of my videos, to attempt to get a higher standing in another persons perspective of me, to get a feeling of appreciation from others.
This is dishonesty, and an ego point of the mind, because the whole point of vlogging is for self to express self here, in self support of self as all as one as equal, without being dependant on anything else. Here i can see that i am looking to get acknowledgement from others to make myself feel better about myself, like a well done Marley, to which i react with thoughts of appreciation. But after those appreciative thoughts, arises thoughts of pride that someone has enjoyed what i have shared, and then sometimes going into this again with another vlog, to experience those thoughts and feelings of appreciation and pride.
These points that came up in relation to watching my last vlog, are toally unacceptable, because these points do not support life, and do not assist me in standing as Equality and Oneness in all moments. This multi faceted self definition of sometimes re filming a vlog to build mental relationships, please my ego, and give in to fear must be released and deleted from existance now, so im pushing myself through breathe to a self honest starting point in relation to vlogging, so that all my vlogging will be sticking to what is best for all.
Then after i re recorded the vlog, i considered that i have done this with alot of vlogs that i have made, i would say that about 60% of my vlogs have only been uploaded once i have re recorded. Here is a self definition that i have formulated, that i have identified before and done nothing about it, making the problem worse, so im gona go deeper into myself, investigate this further, re consider my application, and direct the point out of existance.
Its basically where im going into judgement of the vlog within and as the mind, self doubt, and only when i have recorded it with all the points in relation to the main point of the vlog will i be satisfyed with it to upload it. instead of realsing that what comes up in the moment of vlogging is what requires attention for application, i mean i am not making a film with "action" and "cut" where everything shown is structured and over a few years thought up and designed. Yet at times i am allowing this thought to play out, that i must apparently attempt to structure my vlogs. Vlogging is about self expression here, but alot of the time i am turning it into a knowledge fear based experience, where everything i am saying in the vlog has already been pre meditated and projected through and as the mind.
Its like i sometimes go into these points of recording to an audience, preaching, and fearing what others will think if i say this like this, or that like that. Its like im percieving and assuming what people would like to hear, and how they would like to hear the point explained, instead of just sharing myself unconditionally here. Its like trying to impress people with my words in alot of my videos, to attempt to get a higher standing in another persons perspective of me, to get a feeling of appreciation from others.
This is dishonesty, and an ego point of the mind, because the whole point of vlogging is for self to express self here, in self support of self as all as one as equal, without being dependant on anything else. Here i can see that i am looking to get acknowledgement from others to make myself feel better about myself, like a well done Marley, to which i react with thoughts of appreciation. But after those appreciative thoughts, arises thoughts of pride that someone has enjoyed what i have shared, and then sometimes going into this again with another vlog, to experience those thoughts and feelings of appreciation and pride.
These points that came up in relation to watching my last vlog, are toally unacceptable, because these points do not support life, and do not assist me in standing as Equality and Oneness in all moments. This multi faceted self definition of sometimes re filming a vlog to build mental relationships, please my ego, and give in to fear must be released and deleted from existance now, so im pushing myself through breathe to a self honest starting point in relation to vlogging, so that all my vlogging will be sticking to what is best for all.
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