So im having a look at points of reactive knowledge, that i have stored and defined myself according to, in relation to the military, and being around those that openly supports the armed forces.
So at work the other day, i was observing hundreds of shoppers in a mall, and as per usual with any venue, i was searching for beings that would be interested in receiving information and quotes for installing a solar system on a property.
Then at one point after i had just registered someone for some information, i looked up, and a guy was sitting on a seat about 100 yards from me. i looked at his t-shirt which said "Help the Heroes" on it, which is a charity that provides funding towards holidays, surgery, plastic surgery, cars, gifts and media for wounded soldiers.
As soon as i read the word i immediately reacted with an emotion of judgement and slight anger. I experienced like a jolt of energy throughout my physical body stemming from my solar plexus, and started getting alot of thoughts come up in relation to the military. I started going into chatter in my head of stuff like - "your such a dumb fucker, try placing yourself in the shoes of people who have had rape, murder and hunger enforced upon them through military action, and then tell me you support that bullshit abuse". I started going into these kind of ideas, and i allowed it to compromise my effectiveness at work for about 20 minutes after reading this guys t shirt.
Anyway after 20 minutes i stopped accumilating interest in the inital reaction, by speaking self forgiveness, slowing down within and as breathe, stopping myself placing value or attention in the thoughts that were coming up. But later in the car i began to ask myself how, why, when and where have i defined myself as having to react this way around people that support the military.
Upon further investigation, i can see that i have a tendency to react the same way around all people who openly support the military. For example my ex partner had a father who was a soldier for much of his life, and even then before walking my process i had the same internal reactions towards him, where i would go into judgement and anger whenever i was around him, although at the time i would just suppress this. And when he would talk about his love for the military or the country, then these kind of thoughts would come flooding in, and we would have occassional arguments about the military.
I can see when i look at my self within self honesty, that i still have ideas and beliefs about my process, that i am somehow so righteous and "good" in my ability to take self responsibility for myself and direct myself within self honesty. Wanting to be a "good" guy, like a hero that makes a change for the planet for the betterment of all living on the planet. Its like a self formulated idea of being a captain planet, or something, which was actually one of many cartoons i hugely enjoyed as a child
although i found that i would often secretly hope in my mind that the bad guy in cartoons like this would win, which is interesting. And this obviously contributed to the build up and design of my personality.
I can see here that i am percieving those walking the process of self honesty as the heroes, and those that oppose desteni, those that are comfortable allowing abuse as the "bad" guys. But i am doing the same as the military supporters, in that allowing myself to exist in my mind as conflict and abuse whenever i see military supporters.
I mean it is a commonly understood truth, that most of what happens in the military disregards life, and supports systems of abuse. The military is proof that humans can be programmed to do the most obscene things to eachother, on a worldwide scale deemed legal and acceptable. But it also trains people to be able to accumilate knowledge and put it into physical action effectively.
Why am i allowing this knowledge to affect me, and make me unstable hy am i holding onto this knowledge, when it is just separating me from myself here as life as the directive principle of equality and oneness. I am just allowing myself to react to this knowledge, i am allowing this invisible back chat on this point to energetically restrain and divide me from myself as life in self honesty. I am the one allowing this polarity to exist, and so i must take self responsibility here to forgive myself and direct myself within self honesty to release this point from my existance.
So at work the other day, i was observing hundreds of shoppers in a mall, and as per usual with any venue, i was searching for beings that would be interested in receiving information and quotes for installing a solar system on a property.
Then at one point after i had just registered someone for some information, i looked up, and a guy was sitting on a seat about 100 yards from me. i looked at his t-shirt which said "Help the Heroes" on it, which is a charity that provides funding towards holidays, surgery, plastic surgery, cars, gifts and media for wounded soldiers.
As soon as i read the word i immediately reacted with an emotion of judgement and slight anger. I experienced like a jolt of energy throughout my physical body stemming from my solar plexus, and started getting alot of thoughts come up in relation to the military. I started going into chatter in my head of stuff like - "your such a dumb fucker, try placing yourself in the shoes of people who have had rape, murder and hunger enforced upon them through military action, and then tell me you support that bullshit abuse". I started going into these kind of ideas, and i allowed it to compromise my effectiveness at work for about 20 minutes after reading this guys t shirt.
Anyway after 20 minutes i stopped accumilating interest in the inital reaction, by speaking self forgiveness, slowing down within and as breathe, stopping myself placing value or attention in the thoughts that were coming up. But later in the car i began to ask myself how, why, when and where have i defined myself as having to react this way around people that support the military.
Upon further investigation, i can see that i have a tendency to react the same way around all people who openly support the military. For example my ex partner had a father who was a soldier for much of his life, and even then before walking my process i had the same internal reactions towards him, where i would go into judgement and anger whenever i was around him, although at the time i would just suppress this. And when he would talk about his love for the military or the country, then these kind of thoughts would come flooding in, and we would have occassional arguments about the military.
I can see when i look at my self within self honesty, that i still have ideas and beliefs about my process, that i am somehow so righteous and "good" in my ability to take self responsibility for myself and direct myself within self honesty. Wanting to be a "good" guy, like a hero that makes a change for the planet for the betterment of all living on the planet. Its like a self formulated idea of being a captain planet, or something, which was actually one of many cartoons i hugely enjoyed as a child
although i found that i would often secretly hope in my mind that the bad guy in cartoons like this would win, which is interesting. And this obviously contributed to the build up and design of my personality. I can see here that i am percieving those walking the process of self honesty as the heroes, and those that oppose desteni, those that are comfortable allowing abuse as the "bad" guys. But i am doing the same as the military supporters, in that allowing myself to exist in my mind as conflict and abuse whenever i see military supporters.
I mean it is a commonly understood truth, that most of what happens in the military disregards life, and supports systems of abuse. The military is proof that humans can be programmed to do the most obscene things to eachother, on a worldwide scale deemed legal and acceptable. But it also trains people to be able to accumilate knowledge and put it into physical action effectively.
Why am i allowing this knowledge to affect me, and make me unstable hy am i holding onto this knowledge, when it is just separating me from myself here as life as the directive principle of equality and oneness. I am just allowing myself to react to this knowledge, i am allowing this invisible back chat on this point to energetically restrain and divide me from myself as life in self honesty. I am the one allowing this polarity to exist, and so i must take self responsibility here to forgive myself and direct myself within self honesty to release this point from my existance.
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