Day 324: The Heart of Love

You may have heard the phrase before - "speak from the heart". Someone I know recently said they are a person who speaks from the heart. I had memories come up at this moment, where I considered how many times I have said to someone in life that I speak from the heart, yet in reality it will only be to get what I want out of the situation.

Generally speaking, the word Love is really one of the most abused words in human history - because we do not live love as a measurable caring for all life on earth equally, but instead have turned love into a creation of our pre programmed mind, based in self-interest and relying upon energy that feeds off the physical to survive.

This system version of love of the mind is a form of vampirism, the heart of the mind ahead of the heart of Earth which is not acceptable -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself that I am loving through believing that I "speak from the heart" when In reality growing up the system, this speaking from the heart has only ever been the desires of MY heart in self-interest, where I separate myself from physical reality taking energy to perpetuate this illusion from the physical body, the body I was given as a real life, real love from the heart of Earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who speaks from the heart, when this speaking from the heart has not been what is best for all life as the heart of the earth, but instead has been an illusion as the heart of the mind created within the idea of myself as the ego in complete separation from the physical feeding into the atrocities that exist as this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am speaking from the heart, when in reality this speaking from the heart is simply an empty statement where I am attempting to project myself as an authentic character, when in fact this is purely a facade of authenticity used to get a person to trust me in order to get what I want, which is completely unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every breath that existing as this speaking from the heart of the mind being good, honest, is creating a polarity friction with those who don't speak their heart of the mind, meaning not trapped in their self-interest, not always honest - where only those that feed into this heart of the love goodness will be shone upon, while this focus is on the good is manifesting the abuse of life in this world.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to say I love a person and to mean it in varying degrees every time based on how I feel that person has done in successfully massaging my egeo, submitting to my desires and self-interest as my "heart of love."

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that whenever I claim to be speaking from the heart, yet at the same time judging someone for not being honest about something, or not agreeing to give into my desires for instance  - then this should show me I am actually speaking from my mind in complete separation and so I stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that Earth is truly the heart of the universe, the giver of life where I have the opportunity to stand as interconnectedness to all others in equality as real love as the gift of life -  I will define myself as an equal as life or as an abuser of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to growing up never speak from the heart of the Earth, but to instead create an illusion of what gives life as the heart of the mind, where I have made up energy, named it in the form likeness of my self-interest to then call it love -  a love in separation from physical reality that gives life, where words are spoken in vain  as I impose this false heart on all life forms, where the consequences of the abuse of the world system I participate in are evident around the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to obsess about my own heart love creation to the point where I have failed to live real compassion to honor life and create real love as the heart of the earth, but have redefined compassion to suit my idea of the heart illusion - despite the fact that this illusion only exists if i feed it energy i take from the body, the body which is a gift of real life, real love.

I forgive myself for attempting to force my maker to be the image and likeness of the illusion of the heart of love  as the mind, which I have fuelled with energy I have taken from my maker through the matrix of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to follow my heart of the desire of self-interest resulting in a tyrant conquering the Earth and the unconditional giving it provides through subjecting all life forms who do not walk in my image and likeness, where I cannot see that I have become so completely trapped within and as this illusion that I have disregarded the gift of life and may never again regain it.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted my self to see in all moments that when love is based on a feeling, a feeling that wanes over time about something or someone - then this is a clear indication that I am trapped in the heart of the mind as self-interest, where I didn't get what I want and so my interest is fading - sitead of the heart of earth where there is no instability in loving as the energy of the mind, but instead is eternally giving to life as one would like to receive, which is best for all life as real love.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to glorify my pre-programmed heart of self-interest to such an extent that I only speak from MY heart, where I deny life to those that do not speak in the image and likeness of my debased illusion that the love I feel as energy is real love - I have failed to see in all moments how I have the power to give to all life equally here, but have refused to do so, because of fearing letting go of my heart of the mind which will only inevitably end at death. 

I forgive myself for accepting myself to get so lost within and as this illusionary love, that I have believed that I have created an illusionary body called the Soul that I can "navigate" after death and that this soul is so almighty that I have been willing to die, to give up real life in favour of the illusion I designed in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here moment of breathe that real love, the real heartbeat of life beats with food, water and breath - all derivatives of the earth that spawned my body asa real living being -  I forgive myself that I have not seen, realised an understood in all moments that my illusion of the heart of love would not be possible without the food, water and breath provided by earth - without earths real love, my illusionary love will not save me because it does not exist.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to participate with any thoughts that come up in relation to the pre-programmed heart of the mind in self-interest where my desires are placed before anything else as a false love -  so as and when I see my mind having thoughts come up based in an illusionary love of the ego, I stop and breathe, I do not allow any engagement, I simply forgive, breathe, apply common sense and continue to do so every time until these false heart thoughts dissipate.

I commit myself to re-establish the relationship I have with my maker, because it is my maker that shows me everyday what real love is -  I must honour my maker in all moments, so that my days on earth may also be lengthened which when one is honouring the maker is clearly best for all life.

I commit myself to earthing myself, so that I can rebirth myself as a life where I am the literal extension of the hand of my maker, where all life is given equally from the home of life, the example of unconditional love which is the Earth.

I commit myself to living the realisation that I must expose all obsessions within myself and others about the illusions of the heart of love -I will use living tangible common sense until all see the reality of what has been allowed here and what must be realigned.

I commit myself to eradicate the illusions created by the mind of love from the face of the earth, so that this face of earth can blossom with abundant life where the mind is put in its place of being subject to life, not the other way round.

Day 323: The Uncertain and the Absolute Certain

So I was uncertain, It was a situation recently where I was not sure if I should introduce one of my friends to another - They are both good friends of mine, but despite this I had this uncertain experience come up as thoughts that they may not like each other, that these uncertain thoughts might be a warning that I should not introduce them. This uncertainty as Fear.

I was uncertain that they would get along because of having vastly different types of characters in terms of music taste, dress sense, principles/beliefs, aspirations, habits, mental patterns etc.

Fascinating then that weh they actually met they immediately had no issues with each other and they seemed to click almost immediately - then I considered in this situation how fascinating the mind is when it comes to the point of not being certain.

Because If had stood as the point of absolute certainty as myself, then I would have already known before they met that any uncertainty is invalid, because the fact that both of these people are friend with me, then it was always certain that I would be a bridge for them to also become friends regardless of any differences.

The pr-programmed mind seems to notice differences before similarities, to follow uncertainty as fear as being trustworthy and within this the point of absolute certainty is missed.

I see how this and various dimensions of uncertainty has come up as a pattern at points in my life - uncertainty around friends, family, jobs, travelling, aspirations and never once has this uncertainty assisted me in living what is best for all life, it like a disease has caused nothing but dis-ease, a dis to being at ease, being uncertain is where mistakes are made, it is where my perspective and living is completely limited within and as the idea of myself as ego in complete separation from physical reality.

Yet standing as the point of absolute certainty here as every breath that breathes in and out of the body is certain - it is when I am absolutely certain that I always produce the greatest results.

So we walk out this uncertainty -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with uncertain thoughts that came up about two of my friends meeting recently, I realised as the evening unfolded that this uncertainty was merely a trap of the pre-programmed mind, where I allowed fear to dictate how I experienced myself and which was based on no actual factual physical feedback here, just assumptions of fear as uncertainty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when I know two people who seem different to each other, that that automatically means they will not get on when in reality If I had stayed here as this breathe in self-honesty, then through applying common sense I would have been absolutely certain that not only should they meet, but in fact they would get on very well with me as the clear bridge to communication and the development of trust with all three of us. While my uncertain mind tried to deny this.

I forgive myself that I have not considered in every breath that when I allow myself to interact with thoughts of uncertainty there is only mistakes from uncertain actions that is produced, where as standing as absolute certainty as this breathe is accurate, reliable and will always produce more effective results because there is no taint of "maybe" as uncertainty measurably affecting results.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to notice differences before similarities as uncertainty, yet when I release fear of the unknown as breath I stand as certainty where similarities will be my focus ahead of differences.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realise and understand in all moments that wherever there is fear that comes up about anything as an experience of uncertainty, that in fact this only shows that I am stuck within and as the idea of myself as the ego, that I am limited, and that by the very nature of fear coming up should tell me that where there is fear, that is where I must have absolute certainty about anything, just as it is certain that I for instance will die one day -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny that there is absolute certainty written into the stones of the earth, which should act as guidelines to effective living that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the absolute certainty of death, because it cannot be denied that I as any physical being in existence will die one day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not pay more respect and attention to time as a denial of the absolute certainty that I do have limited time here on Earth.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see in every breathe the complete certainty that what I leave behind when I die, is that which I have allowed to exist as myself as this world - this then will in fact be my heritage, my blueprint for those to follow after my end and so it is crucial that this blueprint stands the test of time as what is best for all life here.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to refute the absolute certainty that in the world system right now - If a person has no business, no job, no money then they cannot eat, they have no clean water, no home, no effective education and that person then is left outside of the system with no equal access to the fruits that nature provides for life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the absolute certainty that in this current system, if I only focus on my own happiness in self-interest as my own abundance, that I in fact will create the polarity of lack in the lives of many because this system is closed, restricted with limited allowances to resources such as money.

 I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the money system which only cares for those with money and will deny anyone without a business, job or means to money.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted the complete certainty that this economic system will lead to eth total destruction of all lifeforms on Earth and that despite this happening measurably already, I refuse to stop what I allow as the ego, justifying with the idea that there is nothing I can do and this is just the will of the people - I will  not accept this attorcity to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed ideas to exist that saviours will save humanity, without realising the complete contradiction here of the "freewill" I exercise and that this saviour would have to remove freewill to as life zombify mind control humanity to a world of peace. I see that If I am as all parts of humanity the source of real caring, then the world would already be heaven without the need of any saviors, because only humanity can save itself in fact - one cell at a time 1+1+1+1.

I forgive myself  that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the absolute certainty of the doom of the human race to exist without doing anything practical that will change what is being allowed, which I will not allow to continue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as denial of the absolute certainty that when a child is born they automatically become equal to the environment and education that they are born into, which is why it is so crucial that when the certainty of my death is here - that I have done everything I can to leave behind a world where all children will have the very best environment and education possible.

I forgive myself for denying the absolute certainty that the monetary system as it exists now is the actual cause of crime, where I have blamed the criminal that is spawned by the money system I participate in, when through this participation I am the creator of the criminal, as I have refused to allow equality for all life to exist because it gets in the way of my selfish happiness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny the clear certainty that I am no more than my thoughts, that is in my secret mind and that only by taking self-responsibility to face this secret mind and investigate/remove all pre-programmed patterns that create the atrocities in this world, is where I transform from ego into the embodiment of that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments the absolute necessity of all to work together in oneness, as principled living instead of personal preference.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to participate with any thoughts of uncertainty that come up in any situation, so as and when I see my mind reacting to something as uncertain thoughts, I stop and breathe -  I do not allow any interaction as I know this will result in uncertain actions which will only keep me trapped in a loop as a pre-programm, so I breathe and continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts of uncertainty that comes up.

I commit myself to locate each point that with absolute certainty will result in consequences that we as humanity can in fact utilise to create outcomes that is of benefit to all life.

I commit myself to be ready in every breathe to face death which is always uncertain when it will come for any of us,with respect and trust knowing that I have lived in a way that is supportive to all life equally as the image and likeness of life, which will assist those that come to Earth when I am gone.

I commit myself to facing and removing any uncertainty I have about anything, because uncertainty means fear and self-interest and I will not allow fear and self-interest to dictate how my life operates - If uncertainty exists I do not avoid it, that is where I will leap headfirst.

I commit myself to living the realisation that in order to find and present a new ecosystem that supports all life equally, I must remove all personal fears and delusions about self-interest and align myself to life where I am able to give as I would like to receive.

I commit myself to challenge anyone that claim to be doing what is best for all life when I am absolutely certain that their solutions will not benefit all life in every way.

I commit myself to be part of the group that is directed by the principles of what is best for all life as oneness and equality until it is actually done.

I commit myself to be part of the creation of a world that in every way will be absolutely certain to be best for all life.

I commit myself to create myself as the absolute certain living word as life here on Earth.

Day 322: Let the Regrets go

Funny isnt it when you ask people if they regret anything in their life, most will say - no I don't regret anything. Everything is in reverse, so this is the egos defence mechanism to deny the reality of making mistakes, to not admit where our self-interest has fucked us with allowances inside ourselves and outcomes of abuse where we didnt get what we want.

The reality is we all regret from time to time, on the basis of failures we have - for instance you know the saying "you don't know what you had until it's gone" Thats where anyone can be shown a regret/letting go cycle existing in your life.

The Ego hates to lose and hates to admit loss even more so - I saw this in myself just this weekend where I regretted being in a certain place and interacting with someone, yet in my mind backchat was coming up trying to convince myself that I didn't regret it, that I don't care how the outcome turned out when in reality I did.

I like every other human I have been programmed from a young age to enter into relationships with others based on the ego, on getting what I want in self-interest from the relationship and to then regret it when I don't get what I want, but then as the idea of myself as the ego that hates to lose, to then try to deceive myself that I do not regret it.

There are so many times where I have regretted something, yet for me it really became a prominent issue when I was in my teenage/early 20s where my acceptances/allowances and actions would cause me to carry this regret with me as me all the time.

Years later when I have removed many layers of regret, I still have moments where it comes up limiting myself unnecessarily.

I will not allow this emotion of regret to control me, because it does not assist me in living what is best for all life -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wallow within regret, as if i should punish myself for not getting what I want on my terms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto and not effectively remove regrets from being a criminal in teenage years and my early 20s.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret not making the most of my athletic talents in my early twenties because I was too busy engaging in criminality for quick fixes of energy in the form of money, sex and perceived power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret purposely disagreeing with and being purposely spiteful towards my mother, my grandad, people in the Desteni group and many others in younger years in various situations, when they were simply assisting me to navigate this world this lifetime to become the best version of myself, which I disregarded at first because I was still the little boy trying to be my own big gangster father because my real father was never there.

I forgive myself that I did not realise while growing up that having a father that remained as a mythical gangster figure in my mind, only pushed me into wanting to become like him - an uncaring cold person that only considers himself first in any situation - So  forgive myself that I allowed and accepted myself to regret trying to be like my father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret using drugs and alcohol extensively growing up to try to "help let go" to avoid and in actuality suppress facing the failures and regrets I have about past interactions with people, which only keeps me in a cycle which makes more failures, regrets and "letting go" certain as the ego, because of not dealing with the root and instead just trying to ease the pain of the consequence all the while keeping myself enslaved which is unacceptable. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret not studying Science like my Grandfather, because in my mind he was my father growing up, so I avoided Science in my education almost simply to spite him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret how so many jobs and business opportunities ended in my life because I didn't get what I wanted in the way I wanted it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret how so many interactions with female partners ended in my life because I didn't get what I wanted in the way I wanted it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in relationships that is based in self-interest where time and time again there is the failure of producing results that is best for all involved in the relationship where it always ends in regret.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand in every here breathe that "letting go" actually is regret, because it could have been directed breath by breath to be what is best for all, but because I gave in to my fears and desires for a controlled outcome where I get what I want and I am the winner - I end up in regret when my self-interested imaginations failed to materialise thus I have to let go of my desire and accept the failure. Thus letting go is so difficult because it indicates my acceptance of failure as the pre-programmed mind/ego and my ego never likes to lose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stop the imaginary world in my mind that are not actually aligned to physical reality, regardless of the fact that I have had so many experiences where things didn't work out my way and I was forced to regret as the ego. Then "letting go" so I can build the will to try and get what I want again with a new experience, because of being convinced that the way I see it projected in my mind is "my right" to achieve, when reality shows me that everyone having this cycle going on in their head makes it impossible with the currently agreed illusionary reality for everyone to have what they desire.

I forgive myself that I refuse to realise in all moments that If I do what is best for all, the greatest act one can do in the real world - then I can in fact be a part of a solution that will make it possible to manifest my desires so long as I allow others the same in fact and not in the illusion of free choice like everyone else where there is an imaginary reality where anything can be imagined as it if it is real when it is not.

I forgive myself that I have refused to realise in all moments that it is when I try to superimpose the imaginary reality onto actual physical reality that I lose my sanity so to speak where I engage in actions that causes me to regret, showing me that the mind is not reality - yet regardless of this constant reminder I keep on using "letting go" of the last round of ego, just to reproduce teh same bulshit again as I try to validate myself as ego, without understanding and realising that the ego I created in the mind is not a real living being, it is just an imagination feeding off the energy of the physical body and this ego will clearly end when this physical body dies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will live eternally, creating in my imaginary illusion as the pre-programmed mind, the idea that how it feels in the illusion is the real me, when in reality this is only the idea of myself as the image and likeness I have allowed which will come to an end when I die - only the physical is real here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that this world we all share is a world of regret, where I like everyone else have been feeding into this system of running around in circles trying to avoid the consequences of my allowances, trying to avoid this regret, accepting myself as the ego, blaming some darkness out there, where my fear and anxiety grows everyday as I keep falling to ego by "letting go" of the previous failure. Yet I do not stop to bring an end to my suffering and fear and stop to bring an end to the suffering of others I have trapped in poverty while I have my endless road to glory for me, which is unacceptable and I say till here no further, I will not allow this to be my reality any further - this repeated letting go and regret cycle as the ego must be removed.

I commit myself to not allowing my mind to participate with thoughts based in regret, so as and when I have any thoughts like this come up, I stop and breathe, i realise that this is just the cycle of my mind following a pattern where it will eventually "let go" of this regret just to repeat the same shit again with someone else - so I simply to continue to breathe through these thoughts until there is not more thoughts that come up and i transcend this stupidity.

I commit myself to living the realisation that I must use regret to force myself to stop using and defining my mind as reality, and that I will dedicate myself to return to home the only true real home which is here as this physical body, as this physical reality.

I commit myself to not engage in relationships where the starting point is based in the self-interested preparations and imaginations of my mind - but to instead spend time in real time utilising communication and sharing to establish real trust with another that will stand the test of time where there will be no letting go, because of regretting that I didn't make sure we are on the same page about what is best for all life.

I commit myself to not let go of any lesson I have learned, until I have brought it back to the physical here where I can locate that which is best for the body, instead of allowing the continuation of abusing my body in the name of my selfish desires and search for happiness.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to let go of my failures till I have corrected what I have allowed in the name of ego so I will not repeat this shit, so that Life may be here and ego no more.

I commit myself to live self-honesty, to rebirth myself as life, to be the example of the solution where all in this physical reality will have what is best for all, which will bring an end to the escape of regret that comes up for us all from time to time as we "let go" of our failures just to repeat them again. Till here no further no matter how many times I fall. 

Day 321: You can't see me and the mind zombie

It's interesting when you watch a zombie film and you always notice that the zombies cannot feel pain, cannot feel reality even though their body is immensely damaged - then isn't it interesting also how as the pre-programmed mind fear directs us by accepting a limited view of reality projecting outcomes that make no sense  controlling decision making in self-interest always trying to avoid physical pain or what the mind perceives as painful to let go of.

Its like you can't feel physical reality as this mind zombie and once you start facing and removing the automated systems as this zombie we exist as, that then you do start experiencing that physical pain that you have been suppressing facing for however long.

You can see this with any number of addictions that you have, any patterns where the mind has tricked one into believing that this addiction is needed to avoid pain to avoid facing what is actually here and the damaging consequences of my allowances.

One I have noticed through the years that I have been and am facing and correcting within this blog and in my daily participation here is the point of being seen, where as the idea of myself as the ego I have defined myself as this lone wolf character for many years.

As this character I notice that when someone wants to take a picture of me in any capacity, or if i take a picture of myself, that I react and this fear comes up about being seen, like I am exposed that I am being spied on, as if the picture is taking something from me.

I will have a serious look on my face and will have to force myself to smile for the picture, then after the picture has been taken - more fear comes up as this backchat of not wanting to share the picture, not wanting to share this picture of myself with another as that would be counterproductive and "painful" to this lone wolf Idea of myself.

It really is stupidity which keeps me in separation from physical reality and thus does not assist me in anyway in living what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking and sharing pictures of myself as teh very act of taking pictures is a communicative action that we humans do to share moments of our lives - which is counter productive to the idea of myself from yteh ego that I am some kind of lone wolf, meaning people are apparently not supposed to see me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  for some many years to fear that removing this lone wolf character and having fun taking pictures will transform me and trap me as a selfie zombie, when in reality this fear actually reveals that I am existing as the mind zombie as a slave to this fear showing my limited understanding of how reality works.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who "can't be seen" as I am not "not supposed" to be seen as this lone wolf character I have defined myself as for so long -therefore I see how this is where my uncomfortability with pictures stems from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of when I was involved in more criminal undertakings in my younger years, where taking pictures in certain scenarios would have exposed a crime I was coimmiting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto and define myself according to memories of me and my grandad watching different spy films growing up, where the film and my grandads words would imply that when you know others and they don't know you, then you have the advantage and that it is the "Dawkins way" to keep yourself to yourself - I see how these memories limit me within and as this mental zombie of being afraid of cameras, having my picture taken and shared with others.

I forgive myself that from this I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people can see my crimes if they see my face, so its this automatic response of not wanting to be looked at for fear of someone noticing me from a previous criminal act and wanting to remain unknown, silent, secret, so that I can get away with more abuse when the camera is not running.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that removing the lone wolf character, taking and sharing pictures of myself with others will be something painful that I have feared to do, the ego tries to paint pictures in my mind of how bad it will be to become interactive with people through pictures - when in reality by facing and removing these beliefs and fears there is only the pain of waking up to physical reality, the initial pain of not having a pre-program to rely upon to suppress and distract myself from living what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that once you have faced and endured the pain of removing a pre-program that was causing consequences of abuse, through consistency and discipline this pain will eventually cease to exist as the tentacles of this automated system being removed from my physical body, purged from my image and likeness will over time result in more physical enjoyment here, not the false energetic enjoyment that comes from suppressing the pain existing as a mind zombie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pictures take a part of my "essence" as a living being, when as with any interaction if I am abusing the point through having a starting point of mind possession, being obsessed with something, being trapped in a endless cycle of pictures of yourself, then yes taking too many selfies will take away from who you are as life and will keep you trapped within and as a narcissistic self-interested zombie like idea of yourself - yet if one is breathing If my starting point is to simply share myself from time to time, as an interactive point of physical fun, then in fact taking pictures of myself assists in my living of what is best for all life.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as this mind zombie fearing the camera , that taking pictures of myself, is an egotistical, self-absorbed thing to do and I am apparently "so above that". I see, realise and understand that yes while one can fuck oneself within taking too many pictures, actually it is my own minds ego defending its lone wolf status as this mind zombie believing it is better then others by not taking selfies which actually highlights a far more self-absorbed nature then the point I am judging being that of taking pictures of myself and others who do this a lot.

I forgive myself that I have not realised how I have been influenced by movies about zombies growing up without being aware of what is happening, where the body fails due to damage and the effects are visible, while as the mind zombie this is where fear directs me through a limited view of reality in a brainwashed state, fear as the master with the consequence directly or indirectly being me or another physical lifeform in this world being abused through this allowance which is unacceptable.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept a society as humanity where the individual basically exists as the walking dead as mental zombies trapped in self-interest as the idea of themselves, unable to be compassionate in measurable ways that are best for all life, where each individual is given a life worthy of life itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept an world system based on profit for the few, where the majority act like zombies unable to coherently stand together to direct into existence a social structure where all life is honoured and respected equally, but instead accept their enslavement to a system that causes inequality and suffering.

I commit myself to not allowing participation with any fear based reactions my mind has about taking pictures of myself -  so as and when I see my mind having thoughts come up, I stop and breathe, I realise that to interact with these thoughts will keep trapped in the cycle of this automated idea of myself as someone who "shouldn't be seen" which is bullshit limitation, so I just breathe in this moment and continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that anytime there is fear that changing something about myself  will be painful, then that is a sign that I am existing as a mental zombie trying to avoid this pain suppressing facing it, allowing fear to control me -  and so the very fear of this change, tells me that it will be a change that is beneficial to all life and one that I must persevere to achieve here.

I commit myself to investigate and study the way the mind publishes information into my body as pre-programs, so that I can make sure that I only publish and activate systems that will work in ways that I have confirmed are to the benefit of all life, where I can develop self-trust as all parts of me show as being best for all in always.

I commit myself to clear my mind of all thoughts, visions, reactions, back chat, feelings, emotions, clearing my body from all forms of accepted automations that keep me in an automatic zombie state which causes rape, ware, starvation and inequality to go on in silence maintaining a civilisation of abuse - breath by breath I will through this clearing of my mind create a civilisation that is based on the foundation of giving to all life equally as the image and likeness of what's best where I give to others as I would receive myself. 

Day 320: Stability within travelling and God the creator

Everything in this world is created, I participate in the creation of the world as it exists, through the creation of myself as the relationships I allow between all that is here as words. I am the god of words so to speak, the god of this world - I see how the image and likeness of my words reflect to me that I have disregarded my responsibility of giving to life as I would like to receive it.

I see how I have not in every moment accepted my responsibility as god in the creation of what is best for all life through my words - but instead have created words that form and maintain relationships of abuse, harming those less fortunate than me.

I see, realise and understand how I have believed that I can create whatever I want in the name of free choice without direct consequence, believing I am special from this power to create, when I have abused this in my vanity in the creation of myself and the creation of the relationships which produce the image and likeness of this world.

I take responsibility for myself to end the image and likeness of  this world as it exists, I will end this creation of backward meanings I have assigned to words  - I have the power to create the living word as flesh and this must be honoured and respected as my power to produce what is best for all life.

Travelling is an interesting word that I have been unravelling and redefining in my process -

I see how the idea I have allowed myself to be as my ego wants holiday travel only, travel for the energy of what feels good for me in self-interest as the mind consiconses system not travel to accomplish the creation and development of a relationship that is beneficial for all life.

This is what I have been investigating and removing from my existence, my reactions in relation to travel - where whenever my mind would react as negative thoughts to travelling some distance, whether it is 1 mile or 1000 miles, I would forgive myself immediately of that reaction and stick to breathing where I could see clearly with common sense - If the result of this travelling could develop a connection, a creation, a consequence that is best for all life, then it does not matter how far I must go the travel will be worth it.

So I have created stability within and as the point of travelling long distances over this past few years in my life - yet I have seen that there are still moments where my mind tries to fuck with me - when I for instance am stuck in traffic, when I am being delayed to complete this travel, thoughts will come up again like - what am I doing? This travelling feels like too much effort, this travel is not fun enough right now.

I see how this world as it exists as ourselves as this capilistic money system - has programmed us all to have the starting point of self-interest when it comes to travel, where the attaining a higher energy in self interest is the focal point - I want the sun, I want sex, alcohol, drugs, I want the best views, the most memorable experience, I want to forget my life more then I usually would, I want to avoid responsibility for this world as it exists.

I see how there is fear about losing money when it comes to travel - where my mind will not care when I am spending money going on holiday as this self-interested "my fun" above all else. Yet when I am travelling from the starting point of producing what is best for all life, then my mind will have thoughts coming up that this is a "stupid waste of money".

I will not allow this as myself to control me - 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire travel where my fun in self-interest is the primary point and where I resist travel that is based in the creation of what is best for all life, as I have allowed myself to define this as work, as a "something I have to do".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what is best for all life in relation to travel is a point something "I have to do" as if it is a 9-5 job - when in reality any travel that results in what is best for all life is common sense, not a chore.

I f forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to see, realise and understand in all moments that whenever My mind is having thoughts coming up doubting and getting annoyed at the travel I am doing, that shows me that the travel I am doing is valid in its basis of creating what's best for all life, because the ego as the idea of myself I have been programmed as through the years since childhood into young adulthood will only doubt and get annoyed at any travel that is being defined as work and not fun.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear travelling a long distance to get my time wasted by a person  - when in reality this is just my ego trying to defend itself, trying to justify and direct me to avoid any travel that is made from the starting point of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear wasting money travelling a long distance when in self-honesty any travel that is based in the creation of what's best for al life, is never a waste of money, but any travel based in self-interest as the idea of myself in complete separation from physical reality is the only wasted travel that exists.

I forgive myself for only recently being self-honest, investigating and correcting the pattern my mind has been trapping me as in relation to travel -  I see, realise and understand that If  I had been taking responsibility much earlier in my life, not procrastinated, then my travelling in this world would have produced far more outcomes of support already.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be pre-programmed growing up in this world, where I have created a polarity as myself as this world system, whereby any travel made from the starting of my own self-interest is positive and thus worth the time - whereas travel that is based on what's best for all, which as this idea of myself I have defined as "hard work" is negative and so apparently not worth the time, which is fucked up.

I forgive myself for not realising in every heree moment of breathe that this is no good or bad in anything, there is only support or abuse and that actually everything is in complete reverse - so it is the travel we make in self-interest as this idea of ourselves having a  right to our fun before all life is included, it is this which is abuse and any travel based in building what is best for all life is a starting point of support in relation to travel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word travel here, through creating meanings,  an image and likeness of this word which reflects that I have disregarded my responsibility of giving to life as I would like to receive it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to living what is bets for all life as the god of words, through creating words, meanings that maintain the relationships of abuse in this world as me, which I can never accept to continue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the "free choice" to create words as whatever I want with no consequence, when in reality when I am honest with myself, I have abused this power to create the living word as flesh, through this vanity  -which has produced the consequence of  the image and likeness of the chaos of myself and the reflection of this chaos in the world globally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to taint the words of my creation, by creating words with backward meanings that do not stand for life, but instead stand for that which works in opposition to life which is evil - So I end this no matter what.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to participate with any negative thoughts that come up in relation to travelling, I realise that the only reason these thoughts are coming up is because my ego is trying to defend itself, inserting fear based thoughts, because the travel I am making is based on what's best for all life which the ego will always try to manipulate me out of - so as and when I see these thoughts come up, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to participate, I just breathe and continue to do so, where I can apply common sense and can then stick to what's best for all life, I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up at any point during my travel.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to participate with any positive thoughts that come up in relation to travelling, I realise that these positive thoughts are again just being produced by my pre-programmed ego and show me that the travel I am doing is questionable and likely is based in self-interest, because my mind is not resisting but is encouraging me to do this kind of travel  - so as and when I see my mind having positive thoughts come up around travel, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to interact with these thoughts as I know that in doing so will only keep me limited as a pattern of separation -  I continue to breathe, apply common sense, look closer at the travel I am making - is the starting point clear in what's best for all? If not I stop this travel, I  continue to breathe until I am stable here.

I commit myself to living the realisation that my pre-programmed mind as the idea of myself that I have allowed myself to be will always try to resist that which is best and will encourage that which is not best. I realise that this will continue to occur until my living as what is best for all life has been repeated, integrated and actualised so many times that it becomes who I am as my nature with no influence from the pre-programmed patterns of abuse.

I commit myself to continuing to push myself to travel to wherever my mind does not want to go to, to go to any lengths necessary to bring forth that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to dedicate myself to purify my words as the creator, the god of words, so that they can represent life as what is best for all life, which will thus represent me as life, understanding that within my creation, when I see life everywhere as my creation then I know I have create dme as life.

I commit myself to living the realisation that I can never be more than the words I accept myself to be, which is the reflection as this world in every way.