Day 134: Why do i always expect people to leave? The Ronin Lone Wolf always walks alone Part 4

Continuing from my last blog -

I commit myself to not allowing myself to exist as this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character that has existed in my mind. So as and when I see thoughts coming up in my mind that derive from this character, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage any of these thoughts, as I realise that engaging with these thoughts it only ensures that this character will continue to exist. So I commit myself to simply breathe and continue to do so, until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that this character compromises relationships with other humans, which is counter productive in living what is best for all and creating a world as such, so i take responsibility to end this point here. I realise that this character in my mind does nothing but keep me in complete separation from the physical.

Whenever i see my mind is trying to come up with excuses to avoid being around other people, then I stop and breathe, I know this line of thinking is directly coming from this character, so I direct myself in the situation within and as breathe, where I can implement common sense in my physical movement to make decisions that are best for all, instead of making decisions as this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to feed into a concept that this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character is something that's cool and should be fed into, I realise that there is nothing cool about a self-created isolation of myself from others, I mean this would only be cool if the isolation was of benefit to all life in some way. So when and as I see my mind thinking about how cool this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character, I stop and breathe I realise that this stroking of my ego is only going to ensure the continuation of the character itself which is self-limitation. So I slow down, I breathe in and out in every situation until these thoughts do not come up anymore.

I commit myself to living the realisation that the life path of any real historical samurai ronin lone wolf characters, are always sad stories that expose the limitations of this character, and the fact that in reality this should not be replicated by me or anybody else in the world.

I commit myself to living the realisation that there are people that want to be around me in the world. I realise there are people who communicate with me daily, weekly and monthly when I look at my life. These people can be referenced everywhere in the world, but I realise that I do not notice these people when I am existing as this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character, because all that is noticed is my own self-limiting "silence" of isolation. So any time I see thoughts coming up in my mind related to believing that people don't want to be around me, no matter the situation, I stop and I breathe, I remember all the references and proof of people enjoying my time, I continue breathing until these cease to come up again.

I commit myself to living the realisation that until I have completely transcended this character within and as myself, then any relationship with a person that I develop will inevitably end. So it is critical that I transcend this pint now, so that I can develop long lasting and supportive relationships with other beings in everything that I do. I realise that in all moments I must be a solid well built ship that is consistent in being able to relate to other beings, from which I will be able to build effective relationships in my life.

I commit myself to embracing assistance offered from others in my life , rather then believing I need to do everything by myself, seeing it as a nuisance, or as a sign of weakness on my part to receive assistance from others. I realise that the idea that I must do everything myself, is an idea born from the "Ronin Lone Wolf" character, which is being ended now.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to believe that it is only Destonians that are able to commit to beneficial improvement for a lifetime in this world, and therefore I should feed into this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character. I realise that this believe is nonsense, because any dedicated being can commit to a beneficial point for a lifetime if an unending determination and will to see something to the end exists in a person. so when I see any thoughts coming up signalling this belief is attempting to engage, I stop and breathe I do not allow these thoughts to direct my interaction, I breathe until this thoughts are no more.

I commit myself to living the realisation that the word Alone, actually has a hidden meaning within its construct, because even when we are alone, we are all-one, because in reality it is impossible to ever truly be on ones own, because we are connected to all things here.

I commit myself to not allowing family memories that were catalysts for the development of this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character to define who i am in anyway. I realise that we cannot change where we came from, but we can only change who we are now and where we are going. So cannot change the events that i have lived through and expereinced in my life, but I can make sure that the memories of these events does not define me. I am life, not a memory.

I commit myself to living the realisation that there is nothing honourable, brave, spiritual or insightful about this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character, it is simply limitation in my mind that I have allowed keeping me in separation from the physical.  I commit myself to not allowing myself to idolise, praise and romanticise this character inside myself again.

I commit myself to walking this lifetime all as one as equal.

Day 133: Why do i always expect people to leave? - The Ronin Lone Wolf always walks alone Part 3

 So continuing from my last blog -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character in my mind, where I always expect and almost hope that people will leave me. I realise that while comfortability with being alone is cool, accepting this character which compromises relationships with other humans is not cool, so I'm taking self-responsibility to end this character now.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments, that through allowing this character I am existing in complete separation from the physical, regardless of how "silent" things can feel as this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character. So within this I forgive myself that I have not realised that this "silence" I experience within and as this "ronin lone wolf" character is not a real silence, because it is a self-created, fabricated isolation, which is not real silence, which is proven by the amount of noise existing on the planet currently. I have realised that no matter how long we attempt to hide away in our "isolated silence", the longer we accept the point, then the more deluded we become, and the more difficult we make it for ourselves to interact with people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define samurai's as being cool in my mind. I realise that through defining samurai as cool, and growing up seeing loads of samurai and martial arts films, where it is always portrayed that the samurai enjoys being on their own, and a ronin is a samurai that enjoys the silence more then anyone because he is a master less samurai and cannot be bought. Lone wolf was one of my favourite samurais in films, and obviously the animals wolves are known for howling when they feel alone. It all equals - its cool to be alone -- so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be affected by films and wolves to be part of creating this "ronin lone wolf" character within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a person that is "supposed to be alone". I realise that this is complete self-deception, which has been born from this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character - where I believe that my life experiences, family and knowledge is enough to scare anyone away from me.I realise that while I cannot change my experiences, my life or my family, there is no validation of existing as any character from the mind -- because as this character I'm existing in complete separation from physical reality, so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life experiences, family and knowledge will automatically mean that people don't want to communicate with me for prolonged periods of time.

I forgive myself that I have not realised, that it is through this belief that people will automatically not want to be around me, that has created a justification of this "ronin lone wolf" character in my mind, I realise that there is not justification for such an allowance, so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify existing as a character in separation from the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the thought "So when is she going to leave me? Thats what people do in my life, so its just a matter of time". I realise that this thought was created through my allowance of a "Ronin Lone Wolf" character in my mind, where I see myself as being "better off" on my own.

I forgive myself that I have not taken action sooner to delete this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character, as I realise that this character was a contributing factor to breaking up with my partner - So within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk into a relationship with another while this character is still existing within and as me, because this kind of character is detrimental to developing any effective long lasting relationships with people.

I forgive myself for not discussing this with my partner at the time and rather suppress the point. Now while I did share my backchat with her, this point was a back door that I didn't open up too much, which I regret now, so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience regret about not highlighting my problems with this character with my ex partner, I realise that this regret does not assist me now in living what's bets for all, so rather then regret, I will learn instead.

I forgive myself that while I was in this relationship, that existing as this "ronin lone wolf" character was keeping me in separation from myself and my partner, where it was always inevitable that the relationship would end because I wasn't walking it one and equal physically as myself. And within this I forgive myself that I did not realise earlier, that while I am allowing this character to exist, then it verifies that I should not be in a relationship, until I am able to transcend this character in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to often tell my ex partner that she could leave me if she wanted, which was manifesting from my acceptance of this character always wanting to be alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a negative connotation to relationships in my mind through existing as this "ronin lone wolf" character, where I sub-consciously see the point of a relationship as being a "nuisance" to my "silence" -- so I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to to see relationships as a nuisance. I realise that relationships with people is not negative or a nuisance in reality, these ideas only exist in my mind, because in actual fact the ability to create relationships with other beings, is one of the most important points in creating a world that's best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments, that a relationship only means exactly what it means, nothing more - the way in which two or more people are connected, connection between other beings essentially. Also within the construct of the word there is a hidden message - a relationship, is actually a reliable ship which is sailing along no matter the weather, and which was created through two people consistently and openly relating to each other - relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I always must do things on my own, I have realised that this belief is being generated in my mind through this "ronin lone wolf" character. I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments, that while re-creating ourselves as caring and efficient beings is our own responsibility, in terms of moving things in the world around us, there is only so much we can do in this world on our own -- everybody requires assistance with a point at some time, and if a person requires the assistance or not, any problem in our mind or in the world around us, is much simpler to solve with other people involved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sub-consciously believe that anyone that is not a Destonian, is automatically not going to be able to commit to working together with me on any point, so I should therefore expect them to leave. I have since realised that commitment has nothing to do with whether one is a Destonian or not, but is purely a matter of whether a person is really pushing to make or change something - anyone can be committed to walk a point for a lifetime, if one is determined and dedicated to see something through to the end no matter what.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word Alone with the words positivity and peaceful in my mind, where I constantly see being on my own as something good and relaxing. I realise that Alone only means exactly what it means, to be on ones own, there is nothing more to it then that, so anything else I have connected to the word is just in my mind and thus not real.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that the word alone, actually explains a hidden meaning within it - even when we are alone we are all-one, because in reality it is impossible to really ever be on ones own, because we are connected to all things.

I forgive myself that I have defined myself growing up as being alone, based on my family that I felt very disconnected from growing up. It was all accumulating and adding layers on top of this "Ronin Lone Wolf" that I have accepted as myself for a long time, for most of my life it seems I have been believing that I am alone and I always will be. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this "ronin lone wolf" character is something "unchangeable" within me, when I have proven to myself so many times that anything can be changed about myself.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments, that while this character was developing and maturing within me at a young age, it was three points in my youth that is really where I see I created this "ronin lone wolf " character. -
when I was 8, I had the realisation that my father does not want to be with me. After I realised this I remember being at school and feeling left out in a conversation with friends as they spoke about having fun with their dads, I felt really alone for the first time. Then soon after in my life, my mother was rushed to hospital as she started bleeding uncontrollably, and at the time inexplicably, I remember standing in the reception of the hospital, blood everywhere and people rushing my mum into an operating room while I was standing there. I remember thinking that she will die and without my dad I will have no parents - I am alone. Then after this, while my mother survived, she became severely disabled having to stay in hospital for weeks at a time, and during this time I would stay round my grandads house, he was a reclusive ex scientist, and the more time I spent with him, I noticed his enjoyment of his own space, of privacy and secrecy. It was at this point where I first started to see being alone as something good, something to be proud of, because he did and he was the most father like figure I had growing up. He only married once and never had another relationship since, he generally seemed to speak of relationships negatively and they almost seemed like a sign of weakness to him sometimes - and the layers in my mind just kept building onto this character from this point in my life.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto, charge and connect specific family memories with thoughts feeling and emotions, which is stupid, because as long as I have allowed this, then this "ronin lone wolf" character has existed keeping me in separation from whats here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be proud of existing as this "Ronin Lone Wolf" because of the fact that much of this character was developed and matured through copying my grandfathers perspective on being alone growing up.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments, that cooperation within my interaction in this world equals beneficial movement for all, while isolation within my interaction equals separation and self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that while it is easier to slow down and analyse each step I take, each thought I have, each movement I make with my body, when I am on my own, that does not justify feeding into the "ronin lone wolf" character. Also I have realised that the more used to It I get at having clear self-introspection in all moments whether I am with people or not, then the easier it will be in all moments to not be affected by my surroundings and be able to see what is happening inside my mind no matter the scenario.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to always go at my own speed in everything that I do, to never want to move at anyone else's speed, because the "ronin lone wolf"  in my mind slows down or speeds up for nobody. Which when it comes to working with others is not a beneficial point to allow inside myself, because it is selfish and makes development of the relationship difficult.    

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when I am with other people, then I will have to compensate, change something about my schedule, sacrifice something I'm enjoying doing to benefit this person in some way. In my mind the "ronin lone wolf" never changes his schedule for others, so I can see the separation here and I'm not going to be allowing it to continue.

I forgive myself that I have believed that this "ronin lone wolf" character  is something noble, brave and almost spiritual, where I believe that I am at my "highest point" of peace when I am on my own, and that "walking my own path" is an honourable and spiritual thing to do, which I have defined myself as in the past, and which is complete bullshit actually. So within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to romanticize this "ronin lone wolf" character as as samurai style cleansing experience in my mind, when really there is nothing special about this character, it is just separation like any pattern of the mind that is not creating a beneficial outcome of participation in the world.

Join me next week as I continue  -

Day 132: Why do i always expect people to leave? The Ronin Lone Wolf always walks alone Part 2

Continuing from my last blog - I realise that this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character originated a long time ago in my youth -- I remember multiple moments growing up where my mum was in hospital for weeks and months at a time in some cases, which on top of having a father that I have never known, and a grandfather that was a reclusive ex-scientist that praised Nazi ideologies, these points culminated in me experiencing myself very often as being alone growing up.

I essentially have seen it as something "unchangable" in my mind, something that is just a part of me, and I have never truly dealt with the point, and at times even found a sort of melancholic enjoyment from feeding into this Ronin Lone Wolf character in my mind. Almost at times looking forward to not being around people whenever I am with people in social settings or in a relationship for instance. Kind of seeing life as a journey that I must walk alone, that I must get things done by myself, never ask for help, and while there will be people I interact with along the way, I must always accept there will be a day that they will walk away, so I must always be ready to walk on my own in all moments to avoid getting too attached to things -- Of course I have proven to myself many times with the Desteni tools that we can change anything about ourself if we are dedicated enough.

So obviously I have been realising recently that this character in my mind is complete bullshit, because although it is true that only I can take responsibility to change myself internally and in my interaction in this world -- it is only through unifying and enjoying working together with others where this world as a whole for everyone can change for the better. Co-operation instead of isolation - cooperation breeds beneficial movement for the species -- isolation breeds separation as only self-interest can come from isolating oneself.

I have believed that being alone is something enjoyable, peaceful and tranquil for most of my life. Now I mean there is nothing wrong with enjoying ones own company, in fact its a cool point because it indicates that a person is comfortable in their own skin, and does not require acknowledgement from others to be stable. But not at the expense of living what's best for all, because spending too much time on our own is not something that is supportive for us as living beings.
But there is much evidence for example that a person that is always trying to socialise, make jokes with people, and generally always trying to avoid being on their own, can sometimes be a very depressed person in reality, that is simply trying to avoid being on their own at all costs, so they don't have to face any of the depressed thoughts in their mind. However allowing myself to feed into this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character, literally directly causes the breakdown of communication or effective partnerships with another being - where developing dialogue with a person consistently is seen as something negative in my mind.

Also another point that I have allowed to charge this character in my mind, is that when I am on my own, it is easier to slow down and analyse each step I take, each thought I have, each movement I make with my body. Where as I have found that when I am with other people, I can sometimes find it more challenging to slow down and see clearly what I'm doing - so its a point of desiring to always move at my own speed, and fearing the fact that when I am with other people for a prolonged period of time, that I will have to compensate, change my movement schedule and possibly sacrifice something that I enjoy for the other persons benefit.

If we look at words like Alone and Relationship for instance - the word Alone is a really cool word, because it explains the point so perfectly within the construct of the word itself -- so when we are Alone, we are still All-One. Now I am taking responsibility to redefine this word within and as myself, so that in every moment I realise and live the point that while we are all alone to sort out our mind and re-design ourself to live what's best, it is only through everyone working together, assisting each other to live this realisation and make a better world with our hands in unity, that will result in a world where nobody feels Alone again. So one could say that humanities misunderstanding of the word Alone in tandem with Capitalism, is actually why so many people do feel alone in this world

The word Relationship also explains the point within the construct of the word - so a relationship is essentially a firm ship that is built between two people through a process of relating to each other consistently, assisting each other in every way, with no back doors. Interesting to note then that many people do experience feeling alone even when they are in a relationship, which is obviously because a meaning of the word Relationship that is best for all, is not being lived by both parties in each moment.

It really is fascinating when we look at the world as a whole as well, and how so many problems exist because of people not working together and wanting to be alone - how many problems in the world could be solved if we stopped "walking our own path" and started walking a path together? I mean just look at the religious and particularly spiritual beliefs that exist in the world, where it is believed that by "sitting in silence" on  our own, holding our body in a certain position, and speaking certain words with our eyes closed, and or believing certain things with our eyes closed, will have some sort of powerful effect to make beneficial changes in our life and in the world, which is complete bullshit in reality.

So its clear to me when I look at this one point for instance, that inside myself I have seen the point of "walking my own path" as something "spiritually deep", that I have defined myself as -- like a lifelong romanticised samurai style cleansing experience, that I have allowed myself to exist as for too long, and which is complete self-deception.

So here I stand and I am taking Self-Responsibility to end this "Ronin Lone Wolf" pre-program, because it does not assist me in living what is best for all, but rather keeps me in complete separation from physical reality, so join me next week as I investigate further, and walk self-forgiveness and commitment statements.

Day 131: Why do I always expect people to leave? - The Ronin Lone Wolf always walks alone.

So recently my partner and I mutually decided to not be partners any more and to instead just be friends as it is more practical for both of us at the moment. We had been together for around 8 months, we have been friends for about 5 years before that, and we are still friends now.

We agreed that both of us have a lot of stress points at the moment, as my mum is very ill and she is dealing with lots of legal problems from her ex partner. And while I wanted to find ways to assist her with her problems as much as possible, and I did as much as I can, she was finding it difficult with my problems, and actually was blaming herself sometimes for my mothers heart attack and increases of stress. Our relationship was also long distance, we lived around 35 miles away from each other, which although I didn't see as a major problem because my son lives 143 miles away and I'm used to travelling, and although we had spoken a lot about living together, we were finding it difficult to see each other when we wanted too.

There was also other points that were causing friction, for Instance with her children, I mean if I would see them doing something that didn't make sense, then I would give them direction in the moment the same way that I would do with my son. But obviously these aren't my children, so this was occasionally causing friction, because if I would give them direction on something that their dad wouldn't, or that she slightly didn't agree with, then my direction would really only cause difficulty between me and her, because if her son reacted to my direction, then the focus was more that I had "done something wrong", rather then the reality of the situation, which was that her son strategically uses emotional manipulation to get what he wants from her.

Having said that, I do have a habit of being overly forceful to get my point understood by another person sometimes, so this came out sometimes with her and her kids - when I could see that something made no sense, I would occasionally be too forceful in trying to make it better, or over analysing the point. I found that giving someone else's child a "fatherly direction" word can sometimes be difficult, and I noticed that I was putting pressure on myself to be some kind of "super dad", doing as much activities and learning with her kids as possible, which was sometimes strange for her kids as they were not fully used to my type of parenting, mixing playtime with learning all day -- because from mine and her perspective, her children's fathers' were not providing any form of beneficial education or important fatherly responsibilities. However with my own son it is easy, because obviously he is used to my direction, used to my parenting, and I don't have to "tread carefully" with the direction, or experience a feeling of wanting be a better parent then someone else.

Also there was a friction in our sleep patterns, because she is used to sleeping early, and I am used to sleeping late, and although I did my best to sleep as early as possible when I was with her, I could tell that she was straining herself sometimes to stay up with me, even when I would tell her to sleep if she is tired.

Also at the start of our relationship months ago, I got her pregnant, even though she was on the pill. At the time we both mutually agreed to get an abortion done, which we did. But after the abortion there were physical health consequences to her body, and she kept mentioning after the abortion that she thought the abortion was a mistake and we should have kept the baby - so there seemed to be some subtle ongoing blame towards me for that also.

However despite all these points, we had many moments of supporting each other, having fun together, travelling, learning together and also we had a very cool sexual communication, so we both enjoyed sex a lot. But within all of these points, and during the whole time we spent together there was a thought that kept spinning around in my head - "So when is she going to leave me? That's what people do in my life, so its just a matter of time".

So literally for the whole duration of my relationship I was always waiting and expecting our relationship to come to end in my mind, right up until the point of discussing ending the relationship. And since we ended the relationship, I have been questioning myself more regarding this point - Why do I always expect people to leave me? Why can I not be fully content with another person? -- Enjoying every moment with them, rather then waiting for them to leave. I mean going into any relationship expecting the person to leave you really indicates that you should not be in a relationship currently, until you are able to transcend this point.

Iv'e realised a lot of things recently regarding this point, and I realise that it is a point I have been existing as for a long time - its like this concept in my head that I always have to do things myself, that I am this ronin like lone wolf character that is "better" on his own, and that nobody really wants to be around - therefore in my mind sub-consciously I have been seeing relationships with a  partner as something "negative" because a relationship does not provide energy to this "ronin lone wolf" character -- I mean I literally would sometimes say to her in moments where we had a disagreement of some kind, or even sometimes if we didn't have a disagreement, that she can leave me any time she wants to if she's not satisfied with me or doesn't see development in the relationship - which in hindsight now I can see was actually me allowing this character in my mind to try and get the energy that it wants and is obviously not supportive for a partner to hear.

Also the point of commitment is interesting here - because although I know that I can commit to a point and see it through, I have this belief in my head that most people, or anyone that is not a Destonian cannot be trusted to commit to a point - cannot see something through to the end for the sake of beneficial improvement, therefore I should always expect people to give up in the face of adversity or difficulty. Now while this world is full of people that give up easily, because humans are used to taking the easy way out and giving up is easy -- this world has many people that are able to commit to beneficial improvement on a point, so really this makes no sense that I have had this shit in my mind.

Now while there is factors in my life that do make it difficult to have a relationship with a person, all this stuff I have been blogging about today, is really highlighting how much more difficult I have made it for myself. So there is multiple points here that I must walk out as well as redesigning my understanding of words like: Alone, Relationship etc - in order to be able to live what's best for all and actually one day be a fully supportive partner to a person, so join me next week for that.

Day 130: Do you really want to be famous? Im a celebrity - Get me out of here!

There was a TV show in England called  "I'm a celebrity get me out of here!", where struggling celebrities would be put into compromising situations that they didn't want to be in to get money. Very ironic name actually, because although there is obvious benefits to being a celebrity, there is a dark side to the celebrity industry which I am going to open up in this blog - Now have a look at these links:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/dead-famous-dna-john-lennon-3392666
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2382245/Meet-Hollywood-clones-The-Tinseltown-A-listers-equally-famous-lookalikes.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roW238dfUUk

So Celebrities are something that we have all been brought up to praise and idolise in every way. In the daily life of every member of the elite, we have attempted to replicate celebrities in everything we do, we attempt to copy their clothing style, their performances, their mannerisms, catchphrases and general successes in our own lives. So we literally allow the image of the celebrity to permeate and posses us on so many levels.

Now certain celebrities lives and untimely deaths is becoming a very long list, heres a few you may or may not have heard of - Sage Moonblood Stallone, Robin Williams, Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon, Jim Morrison, Marilyn Monroe, Bruce Lee, Brandon Lee, David Carradine, River Phoenix, Whitney Houston, Tupac Shakur, Biggie Smalls, Aliyah, Bernie Mac, Corey Haim, Wayne Static, Heath Ledger, Amy Winehouse, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Michael Jackson, Kurt Cobain, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit along with his family - and this list really could go on and on at this point. Now many of these deaths have caused more and more people to realise that there is some very, very strange and abusive stuff happening behind the scenes in the celebrity industry, because all of these celebrity deaths were highly suspicious.

Yes some very dark shit indeed, but what have we been taught growing up - it must be so amazing being a celebrity! - have you thought that to yourself before? I have thought that before many times growing up, as have most people. And now consider that the Hollywood dream is actually a nightmare - pagan beliefs, violence, greed and sexual debauchery mixed with the abuse of advanced technology, yet much of this is hidden by being wrapped in pretty packaging to be sold to the unsuspecting public -- now while its obviously awesome having millions in the bank, it is definitely not awesome to have your funds essentially stolen from you which has happened to so many celebrities and can happen to any celebrity if a powerful person is jealous of them in someway, or they have one disagreement with the wrong person. Also is it really that awesome if you have to literally sell yourself continually in various depraved forms to make this money? -

As the Corey Feldman interview at the top of this blog mentions, many child celebrities are forced into sexual slavery from a very young age before they are famous, and there is further evidence to suggest that the child's compliance with this sexual slavery often determines the child's monetary success now and in the future. So the problem of child abuse in the celebrity industry is becoming more widely understood, as many good people within the journalist communities, intelligence communities, and governments around the world have worked hard to get information released in mainstream media about the Disney - Hollywood paedophile connections and the general problems of child exploitation in the celebrity industry and upper echelons of the elite.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2558354/Disney-World-workers-23-arrested-underage-sex-sting-lured-house-police-posing-children-online.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2836062/Bombshell-documentary-Hollywood-pedophile-ring-preying-child-actors-s-linked-X-Men-director-Bryan-Singer-premiers-New-York.html 

Attention - we have all experienced enjoying the attention of others in a moment, and also we have all been annoyed about getting attention in another situation where we didn't want the attention. Celebrities are the peak of the attention construct in the world one could say - now imagine that you cannot go anywhere without someone following you, filming you, taking pictures, a barrage of flashes in your face everywhere, constant abusive comments from paparazzi, death threats from others.
Does that sound like the kind of attention you would like? No, and their are many cases of celebrities going to extreme measures behind a car wheel or some form of transport in an attempt to escape the people following them, which many times has resulted in bad accidents for example like what Justin Bieber and Chris Brown both did.

It has been described as being on edge all day, always paranoid that someone is watching you, a life of hiding all the time, like everyday tactically attempting to misdirect the people following you, thinking about security and escape routes all the time.

Now there is a famous saying in Hollywood - "If you want to make it big, you have to sell your soul to the devil". This statement has confused many people in the past as to what it is really implying, so I am telling you now that this statement has nothing to do with the Devil or religion in anyway, but is actually a subliminal message for - if you want to make it big in Hollywood, then you have to agree to depraved old rich people cloning you, then using and selling these clones for sex. The celebrity industry has not been based on actual talent for a long time, it is all based on if you are attractive and compliant enough to get the biggest pay checks. Some statements from other small celebrities like Tila Tequila are worth note regarding the topic of celebrity cloning and child abuse.

There is also plenty of other people in the alternative media, that have all made interesting statements regarding the celebrity cloning problems. Alex Jones, Donald Marshall and George Green have all made some interesting statements regarding celebrity cloning. However, some of these people are paid by upper elite people, and some are just unstable characters with extensive mental issues, so take their information with a pinch of salt - Donald Marshall for instance is a very unstable character - we used to be friends on Facebook, but I unfriended him, when his acceptance of animal abuse, racism, justification of violence against others, and constant self-glorification became more apparent to me.

Now consider how many celebrities in the past have directly or indirectly talked about having difficulty sleeping, fearing going to sleep, having strange dreams that seem real involving world leaders, believing they are going to another dimension when they sleep, loss of memory, extreme paranoia, strange heart beat rhythms, eye problems, and other physical dysfunctions. Now consider how many celebrities say they don't want to be famous any more, become addicted to drugs, attempting to deal with what they are experiencing, getting confused about what is real and what is not, having lots of private parties, to distract themselves and almost try to avoid sleeping altogether.

Or some celebrities that look identical to past celebrities or historical characters, in some cases these people are re-animates of the originals. Or some celebrities might be transferred to a drug rehabilitation center, or some obscure facility and then come out a few weeks later looking/and or acting completely different to their original self. In this scenario a permanent replacement of the original may have occurred, for instance if we look at Dr. Dre and Eminem, there is a growing body of evidence that suggests that both have been permanently replaced as have many other celebrities - now this part of the celebrity problems is not being talked about in mainstream media currently because these problems celebrities have is being done through the use of cloning and consciousness transfer technology. So being as the paedophilia problems in Hollywood and the reality of cloning/consciousness transfer technology have both only recently become more mainstream - in future years do not be surprised to hear in the mainstream media about how this paedophilia and the abuse of this technology has affected celebrities, politicians and others in the world, as well as who has been behind these crimes. For the time being though, there is many films and music tracks that have directly or indirectly explained some of these problems that are happening.

So on an individual basis what we can do about all this is - If we allow ourselves to get caught up in the mind, then this problem will seem "too big" to solve for "little people" like us. But what we can do is realise that nothing in this world is "too big" to come up with an effective solution for. We can realise that being a celebrity is nothing to aspire to in this world currently, this world is in no need of any more celebrities -- we need new Real world leaders.
so we need to remove all desires to be celebrities, all glorification of celebrities from our minds, commit ourselves to realising that celebrities are just people on Earth like all the rest of us, they are not special in anyway, we are all one and equal. We must take Self-Responsibility to change ourselves to live what's best for all, where we learn in every moment how to create a world where nobody will be abused in these ways ever again - we walk until we have created  a world where anyone can be a famous musician or an actor, where people will accel based purely on talent not on sex, and where anyone can enjoy the music and films that are made without any nasty shit happening behind the scenes. Please research the important website links at the top of this blog to understand more about how we can practically make a world that is best for all.