Day 125: Be Cool

So being cool is something that most people consider to be a great important thing to aspire to in life in our participation and in how we project ourselves to others. I've always considered myself to be cool, and within this considered myself to be an "expert" on what makes a person or a thing cool.

But today I realised that I am not really an expert on what is cool, because I noticed how I compromised myself by focusing on "looking cool" which is not cool. I have noticed this before, how I will sometimes totally disregard something which clearly needs to be sorted out now, purely because i'm spending so much time focusing on "being cool".

So the situation was I had slightly overslept recently on one morning, and so I was rushing to get ready for work. But after all the rushing, I finally got ready with 10 minutes to go until my shift started. Now bearing in mind that it takes 10 minutes to get to work, I really should have just got in the car and drove to work, and I would have been at work on time. But as I turned on the car engine and went to put my sunglasses on, I saw that the only pair I had in the car was my second favourite sunglasses, so I left my favourite pair of sunglasses inside the house. So I turned the car engine off, and spent the next 5 minutes finding my favourite sunglasses, even though I had a decent pair in the car. Then after I found my favourite sunglasses, they had a very small smudge on them so I spent another few minutes cleaning them and making them pristine.

Bear in mind that there is no practical reason why I prefer one pair to another, neither is more comfortable or anything, I just think that one pair looks so much cooler then the other. Now after all this fussing about over sunglasses for the sake of projecting the highest amount of "coolness" to others, on the way to work I started laughing to myself as I realised how stupid this behaviour was, and basically was why I turned up at work 15 minutes late.

There are countless situations where things like this have happened in my life because of focusing on looking cool - now being 15 minutes late for work is a relatively minor consequence of this brainwashing pattern, but when I am honest with myself there have been much more dangerous consequences that have nearly occurred from focusing on being cool --

for instance there has been more then a few occasions where I am driving and because i'm so worried and concerned that i'm projecting maximum coolness at all times, I will be looking in my mirror to adjust my sunglasses or tie on my suit, then when I look back at the road I have had to slam my foot on the break to stop myself from crashing because I was completely unaware as I was completely possessed by the "need" to maximise "coolness" --

Or I might be trying so hard to find the "coolest" music track while i'm driving which has sometimes caused a similar consequence where iv'e nearly crashed. Another example I remember is when I was cooking dinner one time, and while the food was cooking, I was focusing on compromising the "coolest" outfit for a date I had later in the evening, that I completely burnt the food so badly that I couldn't eat it. Another example is believing that a certain "style of walking" is cooler, where I kind of walk on the edge of my feet, which results in the heels on the shoes getting worn on one side, which eventually made the heel of the shoes completely uneven lol.

So it was this recent unnecessary lateness for work because of "having to have" the coolest sunglasses before I start driving, which iv'e been looking at and iv'e realised that I need to stop this focus on being cool asap - because there may be a dangerous and abusive consequence that may come one day if I do not. I have realised that being cool does not require specific sunglasses, clothes, music or walking style -- redefining Cool according to what's best for all, is simply something, or someone that is producing something beneficial for everyone - it is original and refreshing without looking for attention or recognition -- when something is cool, it is just cool, there is no "trying to be cool". So join me next week as I walk specific self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to end this mind fuck of coolness that I have allowed to exist as myself.

Day 124: Will we boldly go where no man has gone before?

So today I read a daily mail article about a British scientist that invented a device over ten years ago, that would enable a spaceship to travel at a type of "warp speed" as seen in the tv series Star Trek. The technology is based on the laws of microwave engineering which is a very niche field, and this technology can allow a craft to travel of speeds up to 450,000,000 miles an hour:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3080846/Fly-moon-FOUR-hours-British-scientist-says-s-secret-Star-Trek-s-wrap-speed.html

Now while this is a fascinating story for anyone interested in Science, and while this is no surprise to many people that are aware of how many secret advanced propulsion experiments have been done through the years since around WW2. There is still a point that becomes clear to me within creating a quicker form of travel -- if we can get places quicker, then at this current moment is that a beneficial technology for humans to have? What is the point of creating vehicles and craft that are always going faster, when our ability to look after the planet and our fellow living beings seems to be going slower?

Speed technology like many other technologies that have been created in various fields of science through the years is in many ways a dangerous creation for mankind to have at this moment. Because the reality is that the benefits of advanced technology, is not being created for the benefit of all or to be used by all. Advanced technology is only accessible to the super wealthy, and certain people in the Government, and so is only beneficial to the super wealthy at the moment. For everyone else it is something that makes life more difficult, because there is now another plaything that the rich people will flaunt in front of us which will remind us even more of how unhappy we are with our slave labour for shit pay existence.

So at the moment this "warp speed" technology literally is just something that will assist humans to get places quicker to abuse life. Because what I am getting at here, is that this type of advancement is useless until everyone can have access to it, because there is no true advancement of our species until all are able to advance - without equal advancement there is only a tiny group of "special" humans stroking their own egos about every technological break through and calling it "human advancement" while the rest of the species outside of the tiny group of "special humans" is slowly disintegrating.

Capitalism creates "god games" not real advancement, and the "god games" only manifests endless cycles of abuse, which is certainly not a bold new frontier to walk into, but rather a certainty of human extinction. However in an Equal Money System, where all beings are being taken care of - that will genuinely be a bold new horizon for everyone on Earth, and then we can actually start formulating real "starship enterprises" to travel into space -- Did you notice when you watched Star Trek that the crew of the enterprise is of various mixed races and backgrounds? Yet they all work together to peacefully explore space, assisting any new races they come across in space, and learn from other races also - what must be understood is that the only way that this scenario would be possible to manifest is through the implementation of an Equal Money System. Because if you tried to make a star trek enterprise in a capitalistic society, then there would be no equal opportunity for people of all races and backgrounds to be on the enterprise, the crew would be a selection based on "family importance", rather then who is best qualified for the job.

So will we boldly go where no man has gone before? Well not at the moment no, because we will only boldly go to new places, when we have created a bold new understanding of how to look after ourselves, each other and our planet.

We need to take responsibility to remove all the evils that exist within us as this world, we must say - Till Here No Further -- I commit myself to living the realisation that going to "new places quicker" is only beneficial for existence if I am ready to nurture the environment when I get this new area -- So until we have sorted out ourselves, we really need to focus more on slowing down to give ourselves time to change for the better as a race, rather then using technology like this speeding towards nowhere, only speeding up our own demise as a species.

So in order to go where no man has gone before - lets work together to change ourselves and this world to be something that has never been seen before -- a true Heaven on Earth, where all beings are treated as equal gods, and therefore all will equally be able to travel the universe without the danger of destroying what we discover in space, but rather nurture the point like we did with ourselves and our planet. Please research the important website links at the top of the page to understand how we can practically make this better world now. 

Day 123: Literally Heartbroken - The Fear Of Vulnerability Part 2

Continuing from my last blog regarding the family heart problems recently - as my mother awaits surgery to replace a valve, I await my electrocardiogram on Wednesday, as my doctor does not think my chest/heart shooting feelings I have been having recently are actually connected to a valve issue in the heart, because these feelings are not coming on during exercise, and my ability to workout has not diminished at all, which would be the case if I had a valve issue at the moment. So being as these shooting feelings are coming up when I am relaxing rather then when I am raising my heart rate, then the investigation continues - and regardless of what the findings turn out to be, I will not allow my mind to spiral into thought patterns that have come up recently --

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being vulnerable, I realise that there is no human that is completely unbreakable that exists. Every being in this world whether naturally born or born through Science is vulnerable to physical pain/breakdown in varying degrees, at various stages, and for various reasons. So within this realisation it becomes clear, it provides clarity that there is no point allowing any fear based thoughts about being physically vulnerable in anyway, because this is merely how things work. In fact to realise ones own vulnerability, is to realise ones strength, because it reveals ones existence as a physical being on Earth, subject to the same laws as any other being in this world, in some ways it is actually a humbling and supportive point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the self-belief that I am the "invulnerable" one in the family. I realise that this concept has accumulated through the years of seeing my mother and granddad being incredibly physically vulnerable at various points, and meanwhile Iv'e always been the one never getting seriously ill, I mean have not even had a cold for years, and occasionally in the summer I sneeze a bit from dust/pollen, but nothing other then that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my own health to other family members health as the basis for creating a self-belief about myself that makes no sense. I realise that comparison is always unacceptable because of reasons exactly like this - it keeps me in complete separation from physical reality where it is impossible to apply common sense -- so within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise in the moment that it is through constantly comparing my own physical health to other family members that has resulted in this consequential self-belief of invulnerability, and fear of vulnerability even being created.

I forgive myself that i have not realised in the moment of considering that I may have a heart issue - that the whole "malfunction" unable to understand reaction/experience to this consideration is just being generated in my mind as ego, where the laws of physical reality are not even considered.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that me in a hospital bed even for a day is something I have defined as "unthinkable" or "unimaginable" for me -  so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself being in a bed as being "impossible", because in actual reality it is not impossible for anybody.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being physically weak and getting weaker as I get older. I realise that this is just a matter of physical reality law - everything has a beginning and an ending, even the light from a star light years away -- everything deteriorates over time, it cannot be avoided, therefore there is no need to attach any emotions to something that is just reality.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that whenever we allow ourselves to submit or feed into fear in any moment, we are literally saying in that moment that we are a slave to that fear. I will not be allowing myself to be a slave any further, and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted myself to realise in all moments that when one allows fear as the mind to start making decisions for me, then I am essentially fucked for the rest of my life as a mind controlled fear robot, with no self-directive participation, which i am not willing to accept.

I forgive myself that I have not seen in each breathe, that any time there is a sad event in life that occurs in our world, whether it is to us directly or someone close to us, it is understandable that we get a bit emotional, but from that moment that the emotions start kicking in, it is absolutely pivotal that one stands up asap and utilises the necessary tools to keep oneself stable. Because I realise that if we do not act quickly, then these kind of major sad events in our lives have the potential to crush us, to be a point of "no return" imprisoned as the mind for the rest of our days, justifying abusive behaviour through the ridiculous concept of - "i'm scared so i'm allowed to be an arse hole", entrenched as hopelessness in the depths of depression and the various dimensions of the mind. I am taking responsibility for myself to make sure that this does not happen to me.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the lifestyle changes that my mother has had to implement since her heart attack, is something that I will have to also implement if I also have something wrong with my heart. I realise that there is no need to connect fear to lifestyle changes, because lifestyle changes geared around slowing down, is something which is just practical and thus best for all to do in a situation of getting seriously ill at any point in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project an image in my mind of me being stuck in a hospital bed for the rest of life my life after my mother dies. I realise in self-honesty that this image is just my mind over-dramatising the situation, which I am not allowing to continue from now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to - being vulnerable, getting weaker as I get older and changes in lifestyle. None of these points are valid to keep connected to fear in my mind, so I take self-responsibility to disconnect these connections through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application of breathing.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to fear being vulnerable, getting weaker or having to make lifestyle changes. I realise that this is nothing but bullshit going on in my mind which does not assist me or anyone else in my world to live what's best for all, so its best to end it for good. So as and when I see fear based thoughts coming up in my mind in relation to this blogs points, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage with any thoughts that come up, as I know the path that comes from the acceptance of these thoughts, which is just separation, so I stop, I breathe and continue to do so until these thoughts do not come up any more, no matter what.

i commit myself to not have a starting point of ego as the mind if any further problems with health come up in the future. So when and as I see that some procedure  needs to be done, or mine or someone in the families health takes a worse turn, and I see myself reacting as ego - I stop and breathe I do not allow myself to engage with this reaction and I just focus on breathing where I can apply common sense, where I can produce what's best for all in my participation instead of the skewed and self-interested results from standing as ego.

I commit myself to living the change that i want to see in the world -  I want to see a world where people do not allow their own personal life problems to inhibit their ability to live what's best for all -- so i take responsibility to make sure that i do what is best for all regardless of what shit happens in my personal life.


Join me next week as i continue my journey to life blogs, and thanks for walking with :)

  

    

Day 122: Literally Heartbroken - The Fear Of Vulnerability

So last weekend my mother had a heart attack, then she had to spend the rest of the week in hospital. She's been back home for a few days now, she seems ok, just a bit slower, and she will need to have surgery to replace a valve in her heart in the next few months.

My grandfather had to have the same procedure done, and since my mum has been back home, interestingly my own heart has been having sharp pains shooting through it sporadically. They are manageable pains, nothing too major, but interesting that they have come on recently in tandem with my mother having a heart attack. So obviously it looks like there is a hereditary issue with all of us, but there may be other underlying reasons why i'm having these pains coming so much younger then my mum or granddad had -  it may be something else in tandem with the family heart conditions, or something entirely unrelated, so more investigation is needed.

Its possible that I may be able to reduce these new problems through a change of lifestyles such as stopping smoking, reducing coffee intake and reduce how many points I am doing in my daily schedule, however that may not mean that I can get around surgery either way - and apparently if surgery is required, its usually very straight forward for someone of my age. With older people having a valve replacement is much more traumatic on the body, as i saw for myself with my granddad, and apparently for younger people it is possible to become much more physically able and fit after surgery rather then less so - so for me its possible that this specific heart surgery will be an upgrade.

But what I have noticed is a lot of fear in relation to this point - because iv'e always been the strong one physically in the family, and when I found out that its possible I may have an issue with my heart, my mind kind of malfunctioned for a second within the realisation that I may have, or may be vulnerable to a heart condition. Its like even the thought of being confined to a bed for a day with people looking after me is something my mind struggles to accept, and being bed ridden for a whole week is nearly unthinkable to me.

Its a point of ego that my mind is struggling to accept - iv'e never been vulnerable my whole life, iv'e been looking after others that are vulnerable -- so in self-honesty I can see that I have defined myself in my mind as literally invulnerable, that "this shouldn't happen to me" because I don't get ill often, I mean I haven't even had a cold for about 4 years.

So its clear that I'm afraid of being vulnerable, afraid of being physically weak, but I'm realising that everybody is vulnerable to varying degrees and sometimes in different ways. So whether I need anything to be done to my heart or not, the bottom line is - it is not acceptable to fear any lifestyle changes, or to fear being vulnerable, because I am human after all, so what will be will be, and these kinds of fears will not assist me in living what's best for all, as the best possible human.

Join me next week as i walk specific Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective application to make sure that I remain stable as breathe where I can apply common sense and do what is beneficial for everybody, rather then becoming mind possessed by these fear reactions.