So im looking at a point of clothing, and reactions that i have noticed within myself in relation to my own clothing and the cothing of others.
7 years ago in my life, the clothing i wore was strictly that which is defined as "gangster" style of clothing within the context of how rappers and predominantly black and hispanic gangs dress, which is majority of the time involving alot of baggy tops and trousers (that may be very expensive "designer" items, depending on the income of the gang obviously), aswel as very often focusing on having some form of jewels or "precious items" on the body as a means to project power, status over another, "extra" respect, and thus manipulation onto those that see them. The more expensive the "precious item" is, then the more it is valued by the wearer and others that seek and desire expensive items, so i participated in this idea.
Also was a huge focus on having some item that can cover the face fully and quickly, such as bandanas, masks, balaclavas, sun glasses, hoodies etc and basically anything that the wearer can hide themselves behind, so as to make it difficult for anyone (especially police) to be able to identify them. Anonymity. A dishonest starting point to avoid accountability for the abuse i would allow in my physical interaction and in myself, so i would do this also.
However since applying effective self forgiveness on these points of self validated separation where i would use clothing, jewelry and sunglasses as a form of self deception, from a total dishonest starting point in relation to dress appearance. Since my application on these points I now dress practically in my day to day living in clothing that supports me to function as effectively as possible in this world. I mean clothing is not relevant, because it is only relevant who i am accepting and allowing myself to be within wearing any particular item of clothing. However, i now wear clothes that fit my body correctly, and that do not have any uneccesary impractical size enlargements, or bits of material that hang off or drag, where as before my clothes would very often be ridiculously over sized, at times to the point where you could nearly fit 3 marleys inside one pair of my trousers lol.
i used to, but i do not wear chains anymore simply due to their impracticality in day to day living for me in my world. i mean i enjoy physical exercise, and i always have, and in any case, for me its not practical wearing items that can catch onto something or whip round and hit me or someone else. The chains i would wear, would be sometimes very long down to me stomach, so, would sometimes hit me in the face in quiete a few instances i can remember lol.
I have never worn earings full stop, however i used to wear multiple rings, where as now i mostly wear no rings, once every few months i sometimes wear a single ring for a day, and i makesure that it is a cheap ring, so as to face a definition from my memory of wearing cheap jewelry to be "bad". So now i have applied myself and continue to do so, on points of self deception in relation to who i am within wearing the ring, But now whenever i decide to wear a ring, it is not about impressing anybody anymore, or competition, i simply stand within and as self honesty within the action, where i no longer wear the ring for any point outside of the physical action itself of wearing a ring.
Anyway so i noticed the other day that when i walk around a shopping mall for instance, or a place with alot of people, that i react to any person i see that dresses like a gangster rapper, I start experiencing uncomfortability, and almost like an annoyance that the being is dressing in this way. I go into judgements about it like "this person is thinking he is a gangster" "hes just a poser, i bet hes not a real gangster" "why does he not dress practically like me" "he looks stupid" " im wearing practical clothes, so im cool and hes not". Then occassionally i will physically act out by staring at the person until they look away first, almost as a means of seeing how they will react to my stare, to egotisically test, weather they are a real gangster or just dressed like one.
So its interesting to look at why am i reacting this way around these beings, that dress this certain way, what is behind these reactions. Its like this reveals to me that i percieve myself to be superior to people that dress like gangster rappers, because i have now stopped dressing like that myself, and so its no a part of my world anymore. Thus i allow myself to believe that i am somehow "more advanced" and different from this being, even if its only for a few seconds that the thought is there for. The point is im opening up here why, where, how and when is it happening, so i can take self responsibility to direct the point to a system of equality that works for everbody in the situation instead of my ego.
Also its that point of of when i see the being in these partciular clothing, that i allow it to immediately fire memories of when i was participating directly within criminal gangs, and if one item of the beings clothes reminds me of an item i used to wear, then i will go into ideas of how i allowed myself to be at that time of wearing those type of clothes, and percieve that this being must be thinking the same thoughts i did when i dressed like that. I basically begin to assume that this person must be a criminally inclined, without any physical proof of that whatsoever.
All of these points is just showing me that i am allowing myself to act like a robot around people that dress in a certain way, that i fear and judge this being, and thus fear and judge myself. That i am "good" because i dress practically, and the other being i define as "bad" because they are not dressing practically. Polarity.
I am allowing myself to make assumptions and go into the mind, so i am self validating ideas of me knowing better then another, the idea of "i know what they will be like before they even open their mouths" Judgement. That i am still holding onto memories of certain clothes as being "more important" and blaming a particular item of clothing as apparently being responsible for why im going into a memory of crime. by me reacting, and these points continually coming up in these certain situations, and the longer i do nothing about it, then the more i will participate within this, then the more shit i am going to accumilate, so its just a point of taking self responsibility HERE to direct this to a system thats best for all.
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