Day 117: "I hope the damage can be repaired" - can we change our mistakes?

So recently i have had an event happen where i unintentionally harmed someone close to me, and in regards to this i have been experiencing a lot of disbelief, self-judgement and hope. I've been attacking myself in thought about it a lot, for causing this person that i care about such an uncomfortable physical experience.

Now while this person has forgiven me for my actions, as she saw it was unintentional, receiving forgiveness from another for my actions is never the point to me, because i know that the origin of my actions always comes from myself - so whether anything i do is an accident or not i am always responsible for my actions regardless. So the focus must always be on investigating the - How? When? Where? What? Why? Of the whole event, so that i can get to the bottom of any abusive self-creation - then forgive myself for what i have allowed - then realise what i need to do to change for the better, then live the necessary changes. For many people receiving forgiveness from another is enough to "feel satisfied" that change has been made, but just like when you use a rubber to rub out writing mistakes you make with a pencil - while you can rub out the mistake, you can repair the damage to a certain degree -- it is the origin of how the mistake was created that needs to be changed so that the rubber doesn't need to be used again in the future.

So after the disbelief experience of causing this person harm, the self-judgement has been immense where thoughts have been continuously based in regret and how stupid i am for allowing this to happen. Then after the self-judgement has been many thoughts based in hope, a hope that the damage i have caused can be fully repaired.

Its interesting because everybody has done something they have regretted in their life, an action completed where in the moment we did not slow down within and as breathe, use common sense and do what's best for everyone. Then after the event has happened we look back and say "what the fuck was i doing in that moment?" and when we are honest with ourselves we know it is because we were stuck within the mind during the event, where we were operating from the starting point of self-interest of "what felt good" to do in the moment, which in turn caused a complete miscalculation an inability to see and do what's best for all life in that moment, and then the inevitable consequence of someone being harmed was the result.

As a species we have to learn to live within and as breathe in all moments, so that common sense can always be applied and a result of what's best for all can be brought into physical reality in all moments. It is a long process of learning that we are all going through, which has to be walked no matter what because the future of our species depends on it.
   
While it is understandable that mistakes in our personal lives and as a species in taking care of the planet will result in thoughts like "i hope the damage can be repaired". We must get to a point where we are not constantly trying to fix the harm we have caused, but rather we are stopping any damage from being caused in the first place, because prevention is the best cure, rather then a plaster being put onto the resulting damage.

I have experienced this hope many times when i look at the problems in the world for instance, when i have looked at starvation, poverty, crime etc, there is a hope that has come up many times before that these problems can be fixed. When i have since realised that hoping for change cannot create real change, hoping for abuse to be fixed, is only a sure way to ensure that the abuse continues, because no action is taken.

This is where religion is problematic in the world, because it is all based in belief and hope, a hope that some "higher being" will come and fix the problems on the planet, because its "gods responsibility", not our own - if your not sure what i mean, then just look at the mafias connection to the catholic religion -- the film the godfather highlights this point well, but there are so many examples in this world of abuse being justified, promulgated and perpetuated in unison with religion.

I mean i could pray to god and hope he forgives me and hope he fixes my mistakes, but its delusional and not effective - within hope there is no self-responsibility, there is no understanding that not only do we need to act to repair all the damage in our lives and in the world, we have to make sure that no more damage happens at all that requires repairing, because as we have all seen in our lives before - we cannot undo mistakes that we have done, the consequences of our actions cannot be changed, but we can make sure that the negative consequences we have created are not reborn, that our mistakes are not repeated again in the future - this is what i'm doing now.

So i take Self-Responsibility to live what's best for all in my life and in the world as a whole, so i must learn from my mistakes to not re-create them - to breathe and act in all moments so i do whats best, rather then react in my mind where what's best for all is not considered. So i will remove these disbelief, self-judgement and hope experiences i have had in relation to this event in my life, because they do not assist me in making sure i live what is best for all in every moment, so join me next week as i walk Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective statements.   

Day 116: The Zombie Epidemic - What is a Zombie?

Someone i know recently said to me "shit I feel like a zombie today" as he was hungover. "Same as always then" I said to him, which he didn't understand fully, but lets have a look at zombies.

Our interest with zombies is fascinating, it is something that humans have spoken about for a long time. In films, in literature, in ancient witchcraft, in Science, even drinks named after zombies, we have had a multi generational intrigue of that which is posthumous. The word zombie originally comes from a West African deity around the 1600's, but the word zombie then later became associated with the soul leaving the body, and only an empty creature remaining - this concept became prevalent within the slave trade from Africa to Haiti and other Caribbean areas. Still to this day parts of Africa and the Caribbean is rife with witchcraft zombie slave stories, as necromancy is deeply accepted and followed in these parts of the world, particularly in poor communities. However even in certain elite circles around the world, necromancy has been accepted and allowed for a long time, if you look at the ancient Egyptian "book of the dead", or the life of characters like King Solomon for instance, or any number of historical characters spanning back many thousands of years, the process of raising the dead is a part of humanities history in general.

There is a few variations to define the word zombie, depending on where you were born and raised in the world, but broadly it is accepted as  - something that is dead which is revived and given the semblance of life. Films like: Resident Evil, Universal Soldier, Frankenstein, Outpost, 28 days later, Re-animator, and many others, all of which do a good job in explaining the Science of creating zombies. Because just as these films/books depict, there is many chemicals, viruses, and processes that have been created through the years which in turn have successfully created different types of zombies. This abuse of Science of course has been due to talented scientists having their skills used for profit, and for the gratification of destructive desires within certain wealthy groups.

Zombies are basically beings that cannot feel reality, which regardless of actual zombies being created is interesting - because mankind does not seem able to feel reality. Humanity does not seem to see the extent of the abuse here on the planet, and how much we need to eradicate this abuse. The question then would be why? Why do we keep creating zombies? Why do we allow ourselves to be zombies? -- Plain and simply it is the mind that we exist within and as, because it is from this starting point that we separate ourselves from this physical reality that we all inhabit.

"Energy Zombies" I would say - so you have zombies in witchcraft, zombies created through Science, and the zombie like state of humanity -- so its safe to say that we have a zombie infestation on planet Earth at the moment. Its like we are so entrenched within energy as our thoughts, feelings and emotions, where in each moment we only act in self interest of what keeps our mind entertained with energy, rather then acting in the best interest of all life in each moment.

This is the reason why people starve, why nature is destroyed daily, why so many women and children are raped everyday, its why wars are waged, and why the crumbling fabric of our own existence is ignored as long as we are entertained in our zombie bubble, bubbling along never living as life, only existing as energy zombies, that only know how to harm things. Money is the god which controls all the zombies, because money is the highest point of energy in this world, so in this capitalist system everyone's focus is on fighting to survive, on making or taking as much money from others as possible so that we can be a "Zombie Money God" in the "Heaven" of wealth and ignorance.

Its time to start feeling reality, its time to realise that we don't need any more zombies in this world, we need a zombie-free world, a world where everyone can breathe and take the time to re-birth ourselves from a zombie into a living being - from death to life inside ourselves, in our participation and in the world as a whole. Because there can be no doubt that if we keep existing as zombies then this zombie virus will be the end of humanity.

To stop living as a zombie follow these steps:

* I take Responsibility for everything inside me and everything in this world.
* I Forgive myself for each point of abuse I have allowed in my life.
* I correct myself in real-time on each point through the use of breathing.
* I am then able to apply common sense in each moment to do what is best for all.

 (Repeat this process in Self-Honesty until all zombie symptoms disappear)

Then realise that if enough people stop living as a zombie and become life, then we will be able to change this zombie money system into an equal money system based on life, where as a species we can develop together to our fullest potential.

For more information and assistance on ending humanities zombie like experience please go to the important websites at the top of the page.

Day 115: Fears of the Father Part 3 SCS

Continuing from my last blog -

I commit myself to not allowing myself to fear that the environment my son is growing up in, is not what's best for him. When and as I see this fear coming up, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage with any thoughts, I continue to breathe until this fear is not existing in me any more.

When and as I see myself fearing that something bad will happen to my son when I'm not there, I stop and breathe, I commit myself to not allowing myself to go into any thoughts. I realise that bad things can happen to anyone at any time, and I realise that I cannot be around him at all times so now I build stability from these realisations.

I commit myself to stopping myself from believing that because my father was not involved in my life, that I must be in my sons life for every second. I realise that comparing myself to my father is unnecessary and I realise that is not practical to be in anyone's life all of the time, so when I see thoughts coming up in my mind about my father, I stop and breathe and continue to do so until these comparison based thoughts are completely stopped.

I commit myself to living the realisation that common sense can be developed at any time by anybody, and with me as my sons father, my son has a much better chance then most people of developing his ability to live what's best for all. So any time fear comes up that he will not develop common sense, or that I will "lose him" in some way, I stop myself from participating with these kind of thoughts as they are not beneficial for me or anyone else. I focus on breathing so that i remain stable no matter what, which is a clear starting point of where I can guide myself to live what's best, and where i can mature seeds of equality that are within him.

I realise that my pre-programmed mind does not assist me in being the best parent I can be, only through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application of breathing can I stop all these patterns and actually become the best parent that I can be.

I commit myself to not reacting in fear, anger and blame if anything effects my sons health in some way. I realise that taking action to stop anything that affects his health negatively is of huge importance, however reacting in my mind is not a solution to stop any bad effects on him, it only makes the whole event seem much worse then it is, where i cannot apply common sense. So if and when this happens again, I will not allow myself to get worked up, I do not allow myself to engage with any thougts because I know where it will lead. I stop and breathe and continue to do so until there is no more emotionally charged thoughts that come up, and it is from this clear stable starting point of breathe where I can actually apply common sense, and make a beneficial change to any negative affects on his health.

I commit myself to not automatically blame any adult that is around my son when something bad happens to him. And I commit myself to stopping the belief that any adult around my son when something bad happens to him is "deserving" of harsh blame from me. I realise that going out of my way to purposely be an abusive arsehole to anybody is not acceptable regardless of the situation and only will cause more difficulty in maintaining peaceful relations with any adults around him. So I stop myself in the moment when any thoughts come up, I focus only on breathing where I am able to see clearly what is the best action to take for everybody involved.

When I see myself judging any people as "less then life" from years of blaming these people for affecting my son, I stop and breathe. I realise that everybody is equal as life, I realise that is only through remaining stable that i speak without any blame and judgement, and it is only through keeping mind reactions out of my words that mutual understanding can be developed with people.

I commit myself to living the realisation that if my son sees me getting emotionally worked up often enough, he will believe that going into thoughts, feelings and emotions is how you deal with problems in life, which is not true. I want my son to know that thoughts, feeling sand emotions do not assist us in dealing with problems in life, but rather make everything more difficult. So when I am around my son, if I see myself starting to get worked up, I stop, I breathe I realise that this "worked up" experience is not beneficial for me or my son in any way.

I commit myself to living the realisation that my "fears of the father" experiences have limited my ability to see any beneficial interaction my son has with adults around him. I realise that while there have been things I do not agree with, there has also been beneficial interaction my son has had with adults around him. So now I allow myself to see and acknowledge this, by remaining stable as breathe any time any "fears of the father" come up, i continue to breathe no matter what until these experiences are not existing within me any more, so that i am able to live what is bets for all in all moments.

I commit myself to living the realisation that unless i am living what is best in all moments, i cannot give direction to another of living what is best. I will be honest with myself in all moments when i am living what's best, and when I am not, and when I am not, I make sure I direct myself to make the necessary changes and alignments, so that I can live what is best for all no matter what.

Day 114: Fears of the Father Part 2 SF

Continuing from my last blog -

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the environment my son is growing up in is not what is best for him, i realise that regardless of whether that is true or not, allowing this fear within me is only limiting me in my ability to live what is best for all here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that something bad will happen to him when i am not there, i have realised that if anything bad does happen to him when i am not there, the best way for me to deal with this is through living the realisation that bad things can happen to anyone at any time, all i can do is be the best father i can be, which does not involve feeding into fear based beliefs. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because my father was never in my life for a moment, that i must be in my sons life every moment, when i realise that practically this is not possible.

I forgive myself that i have not realised in all moments that common sense is something that can be developed within anybody at any point of their life, and for someone like my son, while i do not see him as much as i would like, while there are factors i have been concerned about, his chance of developing common sense through his life is undeniable, all i can do is to live what's best in my life and when he is with me, to continue to develop and mature seeds of equality that are within him.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that i will lose my son in some way if he is not with me all the time, that he will be taken away from me. i realise that this fear is not something that will support me in being the best father i can be, i realise that i cannot change what is in other people i can only change what is existent within me, and no matter where he goes or what happens to him, he will always be my son so i will always do everything in my power to assist him.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear, anger and blame whenever i see something affecting his health or something that is affecting him negatively in some way. I realise that while taking action to stop any negative affects on him is of paramount importance, reacting in fear, anger and blame is not a beneficial solution that will assist me in stopping any negative affects on him, it will only make my experience of myself more difficult and uncomfortable.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame people around him any time anything abusive or limiting happens to him. I realise that blaming everyone else is not something that will help to change these points, only through me being stable as breathe, investigating and formulating a solution that's best will help.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that any adult around him when something bad happens to him, is deserving of my blame, deserving of retribution in some way though me going out of my way to be an arsehole towards them as often as possible, which is not acceptable.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define certain people in life to be deserving of some type of revenge, when i have since realised that while abuse should not go unnoticed, it should be called out and should be stopped when it happens, believing that anybody is deserving of abuse from me directly is not a cool concept to allow within myself, because only conflict can come from this, so i stop.

I forgive myself that i have realised that through blaming adults around him for years and not dealing with this blame experience, i have developed a judgemental definition in my mind of adults around him, where i see these people as less then life, which keeps me in complete separation from physical reality, which is not acceptable.

I forgive myself that i have not dealt with all the various emotional patterns in relation to my sons well being through the years, and within this i forgive myself that i have not been realising for years that while looking out for my sons best interest is best, getting emotionally worked up about things that affect him negatively is not in his best interest at all.
Within this i forgive myself that i have not realised that if i accept myself to get emotionally worked up when something affects my son, that if he sees those kind of reactions within me often enough, he will believe that getting emotionally worked up is a beneficial way to deal with problems, which of course is not true.

I forgive myself that i have not realised in all moments that if emotional reactions is the starting point to words i use when i speak to people, then i will only get a mind controlled response back and no equal understanding will be developed. I realise that taking the pre-programmed emotions out of my words will ensure that i can attempt to find common ground and equal understanding within another from a stable starting point of breathe.

I forgive myself that i have not realised that all the emotional patterns i have experienced and developed through the years regarding my son, has essentially completely blinded me to any beneficial direction he gets from adults around him, because i have believing for years that every adult around him could not possibly be sharing anything beneficial with him, which i have realised is not true. Within this i forgive myself that i have not realised that while i may not agree with everything, my son is having some beneficial influence from some of the adults around him.

I forgive myself that i have not realised that as long as i allow the mind to be my starting point in relation to my sons well being, it is impossible to be the best possible parent, because unless i am living what is best in all moments, i cannot give another direction on living what is best.

I take Self-Responsibility to change myself, to let these patterns go and align myself to physical reality where i can actually live what is best for all.

Join me next weekend as i re-script myself to not allow these abusive patterns to continue.

Day 113: Fears of the Father Part 1

So a few days ago i got worked up and angry about some points in relation to my son, and ive been noticing that the older he gets all the fears behind this anger have been compounding due to me not dealing with them as and when they come up.

Its always in relation to the environment he is in when he is not with me, all the various influences which i am not able to direct with him in the moment when they happen. Its a continual concern that something bad will happen to him when im not there, and that his ability to use common sense will be hampered through him not living with me all the time, that i will "lose him" in some way. There's just multiple points that i react to in relation to my sons well being, and when i look at my life as a whole, when i see things affect him negatively in some way i get incredibly angry, and i realise after the event when its too late, that on the whole my anger did not help the situation it only made it worse.

His physical health for example is something which i have been reacting about for years, as he has had some ongoing health issues from some of the factors within his environment, which i am not able to control. Then from my anger reaction to this, comes a huge amount of blame towards people that i see as responsible for affecting his life negatively, and that in some way they "deserve" a type of revenge in the form of me generally speaking to them, and defining them in my mind like a piece of shit that i should flick off my boot.
 
But ive been realising a few things recently, some of which i have realised before, but i have not continually lived these realisations which has caused this cycling of emotional patterns. One realisation is that while every parent worries about the well being of their child, allowing myself to get worked up about things which are out of my control does not make sense and is only limiting me in being able to live what is best for all. I must live the realisation in every breathe that i can only work with him when he is with me, when we interact, and in regards to any adults around him, i can only do my best to find common ground and plant seeds of understanding within them.

I mean when ever fear, anger and blame is the fuel behind any words, any mind controlled starting point behind my words i am using towards other people, it is only certain that i will get a mind controlled response back, because they will react to me reacting, and no equal understanding will be made by either of us, only discord which is not acceptable.

Another realisation which is a recent realisation really, is that all this fear, anger and blame essentially has cut me off from what is here in terms of not being able to see the good influences he has from his mother and her new partner. It was fascinating  when i was having a discussion with him recently, because despite us disagreeing on a few points, we partially agreed on other points, and we both completely agreed that physical health and education is the most important things in a child's life. Which was really cool to hear, because we had never spoken much before, and i had other fears spinning around in my head that he was not interested in education.

Fascinating how the mind works, but i will not be allowing any of these points to limit me any further, and i will not be allowing any of these realisations to not be walked into reality, because i can only do everything in my power to be the best parent possible, which starts with what i allow within myself. So join me next week as i walk a lot of self-forgiveness and self corrective application in relation to all these points in my journey to life, as i walk and only keep that which is good.