Day 345: Everyone having fun in the sun

It's been hot the past few days, very hot especially for England. Living in a town like Bournemouth is always cool when it's warm sunny weather, because there is such a variety of beaches, forests and venues that accentuate the enjoyment we all like in the sun.

Hanging out with our friends, walking our dogs, playing sports, having fun with water, having barbecues, festivals, parties or just absorbing the warm rays of the sun. These are experiences we all enjoy when its warm weather, the sun has a healing effect on the body, which is due to the increase of Vitamin D which literally is what speeds up wound healing and general immunity.

Just a brief 15 minutes of Sunbathing can be enough to give the body a boost mentally and physically - those with certain disabilities for example will often speak of the noticeable healing experience of sunbathing on the body, my mother has spoken of this many times in my life.

This past weekend I reacted to the sun and had fun with my dog and later my friends throughout most of the day, this was despite having work I needed to do. This is a pattern I have done many times before, disregarding what I need to do, in favour of what I want to do being having fun in the sun when the weather is hot.

For those of us living in dignity the bursting of warm sun rays causes us to want to not want to work, to holiday, party, have fun because we all feel physically good in the sun - in heaven we all can get drunk on the heavenly light of our self-interest though.

Because what is missed within all this as I realised this past weekend and have done before, is the darker side of the heat - the fires, the dehydration, the heat strokes, the irrationality and aggressiveness that can come into people who have spent too much time in the sun.

Then what is missed is the polarity of the light and the dark in this world - there is the rich and the poor in this world, the light and the dark, those in the sun and those in the shade - while we rich have our fun in the sun, that does not change the reality of the consequences of this capitalist money system we all allow to exist, which is those in the darkness as poverty.

In the space of one day, I'm relaxing in one of the most beautiful forests in England with my dog, then relaxing on one of the most beautiful beaches in all of England, Sandbanks having fun with my friends after - to later that same day, seeing a homeless man on the street, who was sweating so much and struggling to even maintain consciousness in the scorching heat as he carried all his belongings, while wearing a thick battered looking jacket.

The light and the dark I said to myself as I went home, why is this world only designed for some of us to have fun in the sun? Why is so many suffering regardless of if it is sunny or not? Why do we think we can separate our fun in the sun to not include everyone? In the sun or rain those that suffer still suffer currently.

I am not saying one must stop having fun in the sun if you have the capacity, the money and time to do so, quite the contrary - but what I am saying is that while this is happening we cannot forget, we must always consider those who can't have fun in the sun, we must remember that a world where everyone is in the sun, will only make all of our enjoyment and potential increase exponentially in unison.

We must be responsible for exposing the darkness of this world and our living as the solution as what's best for all life, building a world of worth - so I will not allow myself to leave behind a world that allows for this small bubble of fun in the sun atrocity to occur, I will not allow myself to get drunk off the sunlight - I re-create this world as myself to what it always should have been, which is a world where we all flourish and have fun in the sun -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the warm weather as self-interested thoughts to completely disregard my schedule for the day, just so I can see my friends and family in the sun and have fun. I realise that while it is cool to have fun with friends and family in the sun, I cannot allow myself to disregard my tasks, my responsibilities to life - because no matter the rain or teh shine, this world is in chaos right now, which is because we are this chaos inside our minds, but always trying to ignore reality in our heavenly sunlight. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a pattern feeding into a system that allows for reacting to sunlight in self-interest, that allows for only some to have fun in the sun, while so many in this world have no access to the fun I experience in the sun, working and fighting to survive in the scorching heat.

I forgive myself that I have not always accepted and allowed myself to be honest with myself and take responsibility in my life to create a money system that shines on all life equally just like the sun in the sky.

I forgive myself that i have not realised that the sun should be something we all enjoy, it should not be a punishment for anyone as we see with those forced to work hard physical labour in unbearable heat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of having fun in the sun with my friends due to time and money, while so many do not have the ability to have fun in the sun - I realise that being ashamed is no solution for those in poverty, and having fun with friends and family is cool as long as I am honest with myself with a clear starting point, where I make sure I do not disregard my responsibilities to life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so easily led by my self-interest to want to see all my friends/family and party in the sun when it is warm weather, It's like a chemical reaction to want to get drunk off the light, where I move without any consideration of anything else that could be construed by my ego as a threat to my "fun times".

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that it is this selfish pursuit of the light I have been programmed as since a young age that is the basis of the very money system that keeps some in the light of heaven having our fun and others in darkness in a hellish existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see in my enjoyment of the light, that the ignorance I have to the darkness continues the very cycle of abuse of rich and poor as capitalism.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every breath of my enjoyment in the sun, that if we had a world where everyone could have a party in the sun, as opposed to now as this separate bubble of personal fun in the sun - then our enjoyment would actually be real because unless all are free, then none are free in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to having fun in the sun, disregarding work just because of reacting as "wanting my fun."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the healing experience of sunlight.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise in every here breath, that the longer you spend in the light, then the more drunk and crazy you go, which makes it more and more difficult to sober up then investigate and correct the darkness of this world.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to disregard my tasks, my responsibilities just because it is sunny. So as and when I see my mind reacting to sunny weather, as self-interested thoughts to focus on my fun in the sun, I stop and breathe - I make sure that I am clear, honest with myself, I enjoy the sun and I also get the work done i need to, I have fun while also never forgetting my responsibility to live what is best for all life. I Breathe and continue to do so until there is no more thoughts that come up, so I can be clear in the sun, where I have fun yet also am also not diregaring what is important.

I commit myself to exposing this system of the selfish fun in the sun that we all have been trapped by, I live as the example as a being that is clear of his motivations and actions no matter the weather, also planting seeds with those I interact with in this world.

I commit myself to living the realisation that It is only and ONLY when we have a world where all beings are having fun in the sun, that it will actually be REAL fun and the human species will truly reach its full potential.

I commit myself to creating the light of an equal money system as myself that shines on all life just as the sun in the sky does.




   

Day 344: Stop Ignoring - Listen to the Body

How many times have you been in a situation where your body is clearly warning you of something, but instead of listening to and heeding the warning your body gives, you just keep going along with entertaining thoughts instead, focusing on what you want - ignoring the warnings until your body eventually hits you back as revenge in a way for not listening in the first place.

This is common for instance in martial arts gyms around the world, you will always see someone in the gym, who has a bad injury, but is training really hard anyway and you know that at some point they are going to face the consequence of a long term injury if they don't start slowing down, listening to the body and letting the little issue heal before it accumulates into a big issue.

The body will start with little warnings, then escalating where it may get to a point where it will be too late for you to intervene and heed the warnings before consequence comes crashing down on you - in the gym it could be varying sharp pains in your injured locations, these sharp pains are the body trying to tell you to slow down and give me time to heal before putting more pressure on me.

But the ego of the fighter keeps thinking - "nah i'm good i can go all out, yeah i've got a little knock, but its nothing im a tough dude". As much as ignoring physical pain can be a verification to many of how tough someone is, training hard through injuries for instance, constantly telling yourself your ok, does in fact create a tough character for a fight that can zombie through pain - however in reality it is this tough guy character as the ego which also can completely fuck you before you know it in your training/fights. If you listen to the body and relax immediately when a problem comes up, then maybe you will only be injured for a few months, if you don't as this "i'm so tough" idea you could find yourself out of any training for a year or worse.

It always seems like a "good idea" to "battle on"  in our minds until the consequence of not listening to the body in the first place plays out and you realise that it was never a good idea in the first place, but realising that after the fact means nothing unless you learn from it and take action to stop a repetition of it. This isn't exclusive to fighters though, in self-honesty we all do this ignoring the needs of the physical in so many areas of our life, which is reflected in the world we see where so much abuse is ignored.

I had a stark reminder of this a few days ago, where I wasn't looking after my body correctly, "pushing on" in my self-interest and suffering the consequence of throwing up all over myself.

I realise I have had this pattern for a long time of ignoring pain, ignoring the bodies feedback as the ego, ignoring my bodies warnings - THINKING I can push through my physical limits, but in reality I cannot and only cause unnecessary damage to myself when I do.

I have been so slow to learn this point in my life, this pattern has to stop so I can live what's best for all life -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a fight with and ignore my bodies warnings as the ego in certain scenarios, where I am pushing the physical to its limits causing damage to myself instead of listening to and respecting my bodies warnings of overexertion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as and believe that I am so tough that I can ignore my bodies warnings, as if my body is wrong and my ego that doesn't want to admit defeat is always right - when in reality every time the physical shows me through consequence that it supersedes the ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the acknowledgement of others that I can push through my limits, which speaks to an attention seeking issue where I will always think I am justified in this bravado, because im having a lovely innocent "good time" with my friends which is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and feed into a polarity friction that it is "good" to be tough enough to ignore what my body needs, and that its "bad" to not be able to do that, when in reality this is in reverse without the good/bad polarity - so it is always best for all to listen to and give my body what it needs, whereas it is always harmful self-abuse to ignore these needs.

I forgive myself that I not accepted and allowed myself to live the realisation that the physical gives energy to the ego, not the other way around - thus when the body suggests stopping something, that suggestion must always come before what the ego wants.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that whatever the ego thinks is best, in reality it never will be best for all, because it is based in my pre-programmed self-interest, my addiction to energy and entertainment - while the physical is only interested in what is actually needed to sustain the body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be honest with myself about what my body needs in all moments, through existing as this detrimental idea projected onto reality that I can ignore this or fight through these needs in separation of myself - I see that when I am honest with myself in these moments I breathe when thoughts come up, I stay clear about what is happening and I take common sense action to give my body what it needs to replenish itself before i cause damage to myself, not after the fact when the damage has already been done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that this process of ignoring pain, ignoring the needs of the physical is the exact process in all humans pre-programmed minds as society that has designed the world as the fucked up place it is now - where rape, war and starvation are allowed to exist in silence, while we humans "power on" through this pain in search of manifesting our self-interested desires instead of fixing this worlds pain.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that accepting and allowing myself to push through and ignore physical warnings, is indicative of believing that abusing myself to get things I want is acceptable, when it is not and never will be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that abusing myself to get an energy high is always worth it, when in reality this is the recipe to harm the physical so I take self-responsibility now to make sure this stops.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories growing up of seeing and reacting to my mum not complaining about her pain in her body, to power through and look after me no matter what, as a reactionary catalyst for me to develop a pattern of defining myself as someone who must also naturally ignore when my body is struggling to remain stable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the idea that I should ignore my bodies warnings to me, to become a part of my nature all the way back since childhood.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that yes while my mother was the first person I saw ignoring pain, she was not doing that out of self-interest, it was for my benefit to make sure I had what I needed, she had few others to rely on and had to act - but when I ignore my bodies cries out just to satisfy my futile self-interest there can be no justification for that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add layers to this initial starting point of this pattern though developing that fight gym mentality of "ignore the pain and push" from sporadically training different martial arts in my life with a lot of tough fighters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be slow in realisation of the fact that creating a world that's best for all means creating a world where everybody honours the requirements of the physical ahead of the ego in all-ways, without excuses and justifications for the ego to get what it wants starting to creep in - I am the directive principle here, meaning I am the one responsible to be the example of creating myself as the world I want to see, where all life is supported equally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the world systems capilticsitic idea of ignoring the physicals needs, instead of walking in discipline as the example to expose the damaged world this idea creates.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see in every breath that the money system is designed the same as our minds, so in any moment where I focus on satisfying my selfish desires first ahead of my physical needs, is another moment I feed into mine and all life's enslavement as this selfish money system as myself and is one step further away from a money system that satisfies life first and foremost for eternity.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to participate with thoughts to ignore my bodies warnings, so as and when I see my mind having thoughts like this come up, I stop and breathe, I realise and see clearly in common sense the harmful consequence of ignoring my bodies warnings, I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more thoughts that come up to ignore my body, no matter how many times I have to fall in order to get this discipline developed into who I am, I work this muscle until it is a part of my every fibre.

I commit myself to living the realisation that me like every single being in this world has physical limitations that must be respected, the consequences of fucking with them are real, whether one initially acknowledges them or not, they exist and they exist for a reason to show us when our desperate pursuit of happiness is causing damaging outcomes to ourself and our world, we are flesh and blood beings with limited lifespans that cannot handle the consequences of ignoring our physical needs as paramount in all moments.

I commit myself to exposing myself and all others who try to justify abusing themselves through ignoring something their body needs in any moment.

I commit myself to living as a world where the needs of the many as all the cells in my body, as all those enslaved in poverty, outweighs the needs of the few as my ego, as the financial elite in extreme wealth.  

Day 343: Home is a House of Bricks

Where do you call home? Maybe you live with many family members in a house, or maybe you live with friends, or maybe you live on your own like me.

Regardless of your daily living situation, it is interesting how the mind over time begins to define itself through who we live with and the house we live in - the ego creates tentacles of ownership around the property, becomes my "home sweet home" "my kingdom".

I have seen this recently come up, for myself where due to unforeseen circumstances I am having to move house as it's what's best for all in the situation.

Fascinating how my mind has been fearing this ever since it became clear, thoughts coming up like - "this is my home, i don't want to leave", "what if i don't like my next place as much?" "This place feels like a part of me now".

So the house I live in, as I write this I have lived here for a few years now on my own, and what this recent need to move has highlighted, is the reactions of paranoid fear, an obsessed attachment around losing this house - I hadn't really realised how much my mind has become attached to this place before.

I see how my mind is scared to lose this house, fearing letting it go, how I have defined myself as this house as the ego. This delusionary idea that I wont be as happy in someway, that a piece of me will be missing.

My current house very much has a "batcave" vibe about it, a "hidden castle" kind of thing, which I see is where my mind is building loads of connections of value in separation from physical reality.

Yet what has occured to me in the past day or so, as I started breathing, slowing down, introspecting on this situation, being honest with myself and applying common sense - i have started realising that who and what I am as life, is not defined through anything outside of myself.

Our pre-programmed minds are designed to become attached, addicted to anything that makes us feel good, the energy highs - sex, money, drugs, holidays, clothes, cars and houses do tend to be some of the most common ones.

I have realised that in reality I am equal to all houses existent on this planet, Earth is my home, meaning everywhere and anywhere is my home - thus in common sense any house of bricks that provides me a roof over my head and a life of dignity, is somewhere I can create as a new home for day to living.

I have many friends around the world who also recently have had to face these same points, what has emerged from this is an understanding that in life, we all must be clear around the point of housing - 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear moving from my house, I realise this fear is deriving from an idea where I have been defining this house as a part of who I am as the ego in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to claim ownership in my mind of a property that does not actually belong to me, I say this as I realise that all properties, whether my mind claims "ownership" or not, will be here in this world long after I am gone supporting a different being and thus no house in this world is truly owned by any human - every house is owned by mother earth, by this planet, this reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that the thought "this is my home" can be a statement given to any house in this world that will support me to live  with everything I need to succeed, thus this thought makes no sense to allow.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to realise that the statement "this is my home" is of the ego, where man as the capitalist money machine claims ownership to everything and all through money, whereas the statement - this is where i am being supported to live currently, it is adequate for my needs, is of self-honesty and common sense which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might not like my next house as much as the one I am in now, I realise this is my ego just trying to rationalise, trying to defend itself, trying to convince me that my happiness is determined by staying in my current house, when I see how my happiness in self-honesty is not determined by any specific house, I can create enjoyment living in any house that meets my needs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself through the house I live in currently, this definition i see is derived from an idea of myself as the ego being this lone wolf, secret agent super hero in his batcave and i see how I have allowed the actual design of the house itself to feed into this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this lone wolf, secret agent superhero where I apparently always "need" a "hidden cave" type of house, when in reality this idea of myself is not real, it exists in separation from who I am really am as life in equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the actual design of my current house, as being "perfect" to strengthen this idea of myself as it is difficult to find and has a hidden castle appearance to it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that the reaction of fear about moving is from this idea that my current house feeds into my "top secret" super activities and that these activities could be compromised in a new house.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as the "king in his castle" at my current house, due to its design being that of a castle - my own little hidden kingdom  my ego says - where I am master to lord over the lands and feeling that the inner walls of my castle are a secret hidden court cut off from the laws of reality, the same way my mind tries to create secret hidden kingdoms to get away with abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that in light of this hidden kingdom idea of my property - it is clearly actually of benefit to all life, that I do move to somewhere else to support myself to let go of this hidden kingdom, secret king/kingdom idea of myself and the house I live in currently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the idea of moving as being troublesome, due to the physical time and effort it takes - when in reality Rome wasn't built in a  day and anything of value in this world requires time and effort to garner the best results.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise in every breath, that home should be where I create heaven on Earth through living what's best for all, not where I feed into mind possessions where only hell on earth can be created.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to initially see that going anywhere my mind fears, always actually is a support to become comfortable out of my comfort zone, so that the more I do this through the years of walking my journey to life, eventually I will have "no zones" of fear left within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify living on my own because of keeping secrets in work and life, and to justify keeping secrets because I live on my own - when in fact outside of my work parameters of non disclosure, confidential classifications etc, there should be no other part of my life where secrecy and forced isolation of myself should occur.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be the silent king living in his hidden castle.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be "in love" with this house, and I see in self-honesty how this "love" is the systems idea of love as an obsession, an unhealthy belief that I need this house, because it lets me feed into my desires - which is not actually real love, as real love does not obsess, it supports, real love is not energy for desires, it is physical caring, intimacy and tenderness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to my house, attached to the energy for my ego I derive from living in this house - I realise that every addiction must come to an end no matter how long it is delayed, because it is based on energy and energy is finite, cannot sustain itself indefinitely without the physical, it is the physical that supersedes energy, not the other way around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having more neighbours as opposed to having not many like i do now, I see how this is again deriving from this lone wolf idea of myself which is not valid to exist, as it only limits my interaction with others and so having more neighbours is a support for me right now.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise in every breath that I am equal to all houses in this world - so I am responsible to be living in any dignified house of bricks in this world, the same way I am equally responsible in creating a stable house of bricks within and as myself.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to fear moving from the house I live in, I realise that this house is just that, a house I live in, it is not my ownership therefore it makes no sense to limits myself through fearing moving - so as and when I see my mind having thoughts based in fear of moving, I stop and breathe, I do not allow my mind to participate as doing so will only limit and enslave me as this fear and idea of myself as the ego which is not acceptable.

I commit myself to living the realisation that all houses in this world are equal as houses and so in reality any house that enables me to live in dignity is all i require, the attachment my mind creates to certain parts of this current property are not real as they feed into the idea that who I am is defined through one property in this whole world, which is separation.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to define myself or any house as being "a secret agent" or a "great house for secrecy" I realise that all secrecy is where abuse is perpetrated, when walking in full view, walking as a clear face with no secrets that abuse is always best for all in this world, thus I stop feeding into secrecy within my life and living.

I commit myself to building a house of worth as myself, a house of rocks, not a house of shifting sand, brick by brick no matter how much time and effort is required.

Day 342: You are Dead to me

You know that experience of immense offence? When its really deep and personal, where you take offence to somebody in your life so much that you take action to remove this person from your life, by stopping all forms of interaction with them - they essentially become dead to you, 6ft deep as far down in your mind as you can.

Likely you will have offended the other person immensely as well, then all that remains is these spiteful thoughts, words and actions towards each other as you both increasingly agree to stop interacting.

I have found in life, that sometimes these situations are valid, where someone has outright abused you, perhaps many times and you have to stop all forms of interaction with them as it becomes clear that its generally best for all.

Yet other times when you look closely in your life in self-honesty, you will notice there will be interactions where you have ended up blocking someone, who in reality didn't do anything wrong apart from challenging your ego, questioning your idea of yourself.

The ego doesn't like to be questioned, it demands that everyone respects it, or it will defend itself attacking you and you will quickly become dead to that person.

I have done plenty of blocking people who were a detrimental effect to my life, this was proveable as being best for all. But recently I had one that fell into the later, where my ego and this other person's ego was offended so much that we both decided to block each other, effectively becoming dead to each other.

It was really an accumulation of conversations and interactions, where I reacted as an emotion of annoyance, feeling like i'm not being listened to, and the other person felt the same. Our words and tones with each other became more and more venomous, where eventually it was nothing but consistent criticism for each other that we had.

I know that If i had either not reacted, or diffused my reactions much earlier, then this situation could have been avoided.

It is always when two people stand as ego, they both get offended, both will not back down, when in those moments we have to take self-responsibility to realise what is happening, that the conversation is becoming toxic, to breathe be stable and let the point go. As soon as one person lets go of their offence, then the debate/conflict is over which is best for all.

When there is a common sense blocking, then it still gives the doorway of opportunity to unblock the person in later years if they face themselves in their isolation from you, changing their abusive behaviour.

Meanwhile the "You are Dead to me" blocking that the ego does is different and is a permanent burying of the person in your mind which does not assist anybody.

So look over those people you have blocked out of your life through the years, in self-honesty when i look now, I know the ones that were valid and the ones that were not. I suggest we all go back over our blockings to clarify exactly which ones were valid and which ones were not.

Moving forward I make sure that I stop all forms of pre-programmed blocking of people based on my ego being offended - the dead must be revived eventually, because a world of death does not help anyone, we must create a world of life.

Walk with me to let go of past deaths and avoid future ones -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be personally offended as the ego by someone, and to then defend my stance as the ego by defining the person as now being "Dead to me". I see how this is detrimental because all this creates is a unnecessarily burnt bridges, when in reality if I had not reacted in emotion to the person, then our conflict and my subsequent idea of the person being now dead to me would have been avoided.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if i back down from a debate/conflict, then I am showing weakness which my ego does not like because I define myself as strong as the ego, so rather then backing down my ego will defend itself and define the person as dead to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being strong, when in reality true strength has nothing to do with fighting with others to listen, real strength is to take self-responsibility to diffuse conflicts, not feed into them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to put myself in the shoes of someone else once I have allowed my ego to be offended by the person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist that which opposes what's best for all life, instead of realising that what i resists persists, thus i must stand equal to, work with and direct to what's best, fighting someone else's ego with my own never produces beneficial outcomes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto memories of when I was living as a criminal in my teenage years, where in that life it is important to quickly define someone as dead to you for the smallest indiscretion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define someone as dead who will not listen to something i passionately suggest to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my word means so much and so should be respected and listened to straight away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that this belief, confirms that I am confused about how all our minds work as the ego, the reality is that we all realise ourselves in our own time, it is not according to anyone else's timeline, only our own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand as the point of God as Money as the ego when I define someone as dead to me, where I am casting them out of heaven, out of money with no hope of ever re-entering heaven/money, which is a completely unnecessary stance and sentence to give someone and is what keeps the horrors in this world being allowed.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that whenever I have a blaming experience towards anyone else for how I experience myself, then it shows that I am living in separation from physical reality as the pre-programmed ego which is not acceptable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get annoyed and then define someone as dead to me, because I am not getting what i want in self-interest, which is exactly what keeps the world in place as it is, all getting annoyed with each other when our selfish desires are not getting appeased.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive others, through masking what i want as being good for the person whether that is physically true or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my perspectives being forced and ignored as a reason to be offended, when if I hadn't been as forceful in the first place then that may have had a better impact - planting seeds gently with care, taking your time to grow the seeds, always produces a better crop then a forced and rushed crop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not always notice the difference between when i have blocked someone for a common sense reason that benefits all, or when it is because my ego was offended, when in reality when I live as this breath in self-honesty, I can always see clearly if I am blocking someone from a clear best for all starting point or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as the pre-programmed mind miss that because i focus on living what's best for all life, and i see humanities pre-programming as promulgating a world of death - I sometimes will judge someone as already being dead when they are not willing to live what's best for all life right now, when I am also just as equally dead through this behaviour if that is the case, because although I like to face and remove my brainwashing patterns, there are many I still require to sort out just like everyone else in this world, thus I have no authority to speak above anyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get emotional and angry when someone i care about is hurting themselves and not listening to me - I realise that this emotional anger only feeds into friction and no beneficial solution with the person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that the world is the way it is, because of treating some people as more alive then others and defining so many as being dead to our society, and so we turn a blind eye to the abuse in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it is "Just the way it is" that some people will always be "dead to us", when this is unacceptable as this is a life sentence that nobody should impose on anyone - so this world of the dead must be turned to a world of life, where all beings are equally as alive to us all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my father as being dead to me because he offended my ego by not being there for me growing up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge past lovers as being dead to me because of allowing my ego to be offended by them when they didn't listen to me, when I didn't get the basis of the relationship and/or sex the way i wanted it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge past friends and work colleagues as being dead to me, because they offended my ego by going behind my back to talk about me in a derogatory way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can ignore someone i define as dead to me, when in reality they are not dead physically, they still exist as a part of this one world we all share, and thus are a part of me, so must have the same acknowledgement and respect as life as I myself and anyone else would want.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to define anyone as being "dead to me" I realise that this is a definition derived from the ego in complete separation, which is totally different to a common sense blocking of someone to benefit everyone - so as and when I see thoughts coming up about someone being "dead to me" I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to participate with these thoughts, as in doing so would only continue my own enslavement as this separation, so I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that when someone offends my ego, that is actually a support for me to let go of my own bullshit programming,

I commit myself to living the realisation that blocking someone from my life is only beneficial to all life when there is actual continual verbal and physical abuse occurring from a person's behaviour - yet this blocking still allows the door of interaction to be possibly reopened oneday if people really change for the better, this "you are dead to me" from the ego is so unnecessarily permanent.

I commit myself to creating a world where nobody is dead to anybody, where all life is acknowledged, honoured and respected as life in equality and oneness.