Day 367: Delaying the Inevitable

Procrastination, the action of delaying or postponing something which is something we have all expercined at certain moments. It might be putting off your housework, maybe too many snoozes on your alarm before work, or trying to avoid contacting someone because what you need to tell them is uncomfortable.

Maybe you are delaying learning something new that you must learn, or constantly saying to yourself "I will stop tomorrow" with some kind of addiction to alcohol/drugs.

This delay is always deadly, it is like being trapped in a swamp where the more you fight the more you fall into it, it is like super glue where the longer you leave it the harder it gets to make a move to do what must be done. It's like we purposely blind ourselves to what is here in favour of some form of energy as entertainment usually being as we are pre-programmed as energy machines.

While I have corrected a lot of areas in my life around procrastination, particularly in relation to things that involve physical effort, I have developed an enjoyment of acting immediately when it comes to any kind of physical effort task.

Yet I still notice many areas of my life where I react in my mind to something that needs to be done, I go into Fear and Ego by purposely distracting myself within entertainment to avoid facing and completing something.

For example this past week i have to make some adjustments to some contracts before I can complete a business partnership with someone - amazing how I wrote it down, "do contracts today" but did i do that? No I didn't, Instead when I got home at the end of each day for the whole week I did everything but work on my contracts.

It's probably an hour or so of work tops, but I just kept giving in to procrastination all week around these contracts, the most usual justification in my mind would be "Well i've had a long busy day, so i'm allowed to chill in the evening now, and there probably won't be much money from correcting these specific contracts so I will get to those contracts tomorrow".

The thing that is funny about that which keeps me in an endless cycle is the fact that everyday is a busy day for me with many tasks to complete, which means that all im saying with the above thought is that every single day I can allow myself to give in to this excuse, this justification to not get things done, I have created a door that I can always open to escape facing what's here, which is unacceptable.

The first time I became this procrastination that I can recall was when I was about 10 years old, I can remember playing computer games in my bedroom, I was getting deeply into the game I think it was Metal Gear Solid, but then my mum came in and asked me to clean my bedroom, I said yes to her and then every 20 minutes or so my mum would come back in and ask again, her voice getting noticeably more annoyed.

I knew what I was doing, trying to get a reaction from my mum by pretending I cant hear her - the entertainment of the game was just so sweet and attractive to me, my mouth open in awe as I played the game and i kept thinking "let me stay in this fun a bit longer" - and the thought of facing what i need to do in this real world here seemed like such a far away, hard, boring thing I didn't want to face. Then this poisonous seed of delaying what is best for all, in separation of myself began to take root within and as me.

These patterns never assist me, so I have to uproot all of this shit out of me in order to manifest my true potential and live what's best for all -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to delay the inevitable in various moments where I have to get something done that needs to be done, just so I can spend an extra few minutes in my mind entertaining myself with some futile quick sugar rush of fun energy.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not realise that every moment I delay what needs to done, is a moment where I become weaker, more turgid as the glue of the procrastination sets harder and harder - I realise that the quicker I breathe and act to get things done, then the stronger I become where the moments of delay become non existent which is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to something new I have to learn which will benefit me and thus all life in fear, as doubting myself that I can actually effectively do that, which will not assist me so I end this. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself when I procrastinate, instead of taking self-responsible action by removing the justifications that allowed me to procrastinate in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise the consequence of procrastination is having to rush doing it later before the actual deadline, which is then where I'm rushing and more likely to make mistakes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to the thought of stopping some entertaining addiction patterns in complete self-dishonesty, when in reality I know that the sooner the addiction to anything is stopped here from a clear self-honest starting point then that is always what's best for all life.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to completely disregard my own written word "do the contracts" as if what I wrote was not worthy of being written down in the first place, which is insane.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that if I don't trust myself to to always commit to my own words to do what's best immediately without hesitation or delay, then I cannot be trusted with life until I make sure that no matter what is written, no matter what must be done, that it is done with immediacy, because something that is best for all must be implemented immediately and any delay is actually abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the thought "I don't want to face it now" is always ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that when I am delaying doing something, that this unconsciously feeds into the mind all humans to accept the same and it is this acceptance of delay that is the exact reason why the world is the way it is, why we are so ignorant and slow to respond to the horrific things that need to be stopped in this world, procrastination is the root of evil, you know what they say - idle hands are the devils play things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that when I allow myself to delay doing something, I believe I always have time to do it later, when in reality we are always running out of time everyday to get done what needs to be done in our short lives, so it is nothing but an abusive disrespect to time to procrastinate in self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in every breath that procatstination is always based in self-interest, because every moment I procrastinate is a moment I am saying that it is ok to disregard doing what must be done here in favour of entertaining myself first which is unacceptable in any breathe.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  give myself a justification to delay doing something everyday from a backlog of justifications to delaying various things - I realise these justifications will continue to exist until I stand up within and as them one by one until there is no backlog of justifications that I hold onto. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of when I was a child delaying cleaning my room because of selfishly wanting to stay in never never land of the computer game where I can have no responsibility for what is happening in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that every moment I procrastinate is where I am wanting to hide from my responsibilities, trying to remain that child playing computer games in separation of myself as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to hide from my responsibilities where the consequence of stagnation occurs, so I take self-responsibility to align this fuck up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify procrastination in moments when I believe there will not be much money I get from doing something, which only speaks to greed, so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as greed through being lazy about doing my contracts as I don;t think much money will come from these specific contracts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to purposely spite those that put a lot of faith in my potential, by thinking and participating with the thoughts - "Why are you saying I have a lot of potential, I'm nothing special and I will show you know by purposely not living up to my potential by being lazy."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who deserves to be lazy about most things after work because of "how much I have been through in my life to get here" and because of "how hard I work" which is a definition that is based in the separation of self-martyrdom and so does not support me in living what's best for all, so I stop.     

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that every day I delay something is a day where I might end up being dead the next day and will have not completed what needs to be done before I die, which could have the consequence of leaving a message behind that not completing your mission is ok -  I do not want to pass that message onto future generations.   

I commit myself to not allowing myself to procrastinate these contracts any further, so as and when i see my mind next trying to avoid doing that this week, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to participate with the thought to delay, I stick to my breathing and get it done, I continue to breathe anytime I have to do any business contracts, until no more thoughts come up in these situations.

I commit myself to investigate and correct all areas of my life where procrastination still exists, because in self-honesty the removal of all procrastination from my life will only assist me in living what is best for all life.

I commit myself to exposing the abusive consequences of procrastination and those who try to defend their procrastination as a strength, when it is clear abuse.

I commit myself to creating a world where proctarstion no longer exists and where relaxation does not come until the mission is complete, but no delay is spent in getting the mission done first - humanity would be so effective if we removed laziness from this world, which would only assist us to creating Heaven on Earth sooner. 

Day 366: Standing as the bridge of peace

What do you see in the world when two forces collide? We either run and hide or stand and watch within an entertaining awe.

How we humans are programmed as creatures of polarity friction means we will always collide with each other, it is a part of our nature.

Obviously this is why we love disagreements, love arguments, love anything that feeds our endless hunger for war as ego and it is unacceptable when you look at the horrors of what this war like nature manifests in the world.

Before I walked my process, my journey to rebirth myself as life back in around 2008, I like most humans would love to encourage conflict in myself and all around me, to get a high from seeing bridges burn - It is amazing that now, from years of rewiring myself, when conflict is about to happen around me, my enjoyment comes not from seeing the conflict boil over, but instead from seeing the two parties walk away from the conflict.

My enjoyment comes from the exact moments of realisation in both that the conflict is stupid, when both agree to not harm each other, where both truly see each other here - it gives me a powerful sense of relief, inspiration, success, honour and always serves as a reminder of how amazing a species we humans really have the potential to become.

Two friends of mine were arguing this weekend at various points and it was obvious that something bad was going to happen - as I looked around I could see some onlookers getting that glint in their eye, that dark glint I have seen so many times, the eagerness to see two people explode on eachother.

I breathed and took action, I stood between them, I reminded them both of each other's perspective, I made sure that both acknowledged each other as life, I would not accept any less then peaceful resolution - I hugged them both, then we all hugged together and the new bridge of peace was formed. When I actually see these moments occur now, I actually well up and almost come to tears of joy as I know that the horrific consequences of conflict has been averted, It is such a beautiful thing to witness - two opposing forces joining forces.

It is automatic for me now with all my friends, intervention to stop the conflict before having to face the consequence, because of so many years of intervening inside myself, of introspecting and redesigning my mind to not feed conflict, makes me automatically not accept any conflicts that happen around me,

When friction is building within me or anyone, to turn a blind eye or take entertainment from the imminent explosion is to be as complicit in the consequences of the friction which is always abuse. It is our responsibility to stand as bridges of peace, as an example to all humanity of how much stronger we are together.

I don't want to live in a world where we don't care about each others problems as we have now, I want to live in a world where all problems in this world are seen as our own, where we all take responsibility together to really see each other, where we all put our heads together to find solutions to end all frictions in this world for each other, until there is no more problems for anyone.

So I continue to walk to redesign myself to care about each person's perspective, to live as a bridge of peace, because it is one of the most important parts of equality and oneness - to realise that everyone's perspective deserves to be heard as much as anyone else's where I stand in your shoes, see through your eyes, where I can truly see eye to eye with you and develop peace with you.

I can only change me, to be the example of peace, to be at peace by ending all fricitions that exist within my nature - to become the embodiment of what's best for all life in every moment. Situations like this past weekend show me that while I still have much to sort out in myself and my participation, I have also genuinely come so far and I am proud of the changes I have made to myself to get to this point in my life.

I know I can trust myself to stand as a bridge of peace in all moments to remind each party that we are really all equal as life - I can't change you and you can't change me, but if I can at least plant a seed when you are lost, if I can just highlight the beauty of unity and the madness of conflict to you, then I know I have done what's best for all.

So know that if you are truly my friend in this life,  then just as myself I will never accept that any conflicts you have are acceptable and I will always assist you to assist yourself to diffuse conflicts in peaceful ways.

Let's make this world a place where no bridges are ever burnt down again.

Day 365: It's not over till the Final Whistle

Do you have a pattern of just losing focus and effort when you see the finish line of something upcoming? Maybe you have a habit of clock watching an hour before your work shift finishes, maybe you're an athlete that purposely reduces your intensity in the final few minutes of the match.

It seems to be something that we have all done before, a pre-program, a pattern of reducing our effort the closer we get to the end of something.

Years ago I had this issue of feeling this way all the time as a teenager and in my early 20s, which only ended up hindering my results at school, affecting relationships and work results in a negative way.

I located this pattern of becoming more lazy about something the closer to the end I get, when I started walking my process - then I made sure that this pattern was removed through continuous self-forgiveness on lazy thoughts when I get near the end of something, then sticking to breathing here until there was no more thoughts of this nature coming up, which took years.

Once I made these adjustments I have noticed in the years that followed that when our focus and intensity, our physical efforts are consistent within anything we participate with - when there is no waning of efforts with the finish line in sight, then the likelihood of you finding an effective solution significantly increase and amazing things can happen in the dying seconds of the project.

As I write this blog a football match is on in the background and one team that was losing for most of the match, just scored an equalising goal in the final few minutes of the match. The commentators mentioned that the reason for this was the laziness of the other team who reduced their efforts after being ahead for so long, and the team who came back kept their intensity high until the very end which gave them the result they desired.

Another example I could show you would be the hundreds of thousands of different martial arts bouts I have witnessed in my life, where one fighter is defeated who was winning the bout at the start, but due to their efforts waning they lost the fight.

Then at work on Friday while I noticed majority of my team's efforts slowing as we got closer to the end of the shift, as always I made sure my determination to complete my mission did not waiver. Then with not much time left in the shift, I completed a huge deal that shocked my team because of how out of the blue it seemed.

If you are believer of the law of attraction within selling it is crucial to understand this point - because nothing works without consistent physical effort, you can believe and hope things will work out all you want, but if you do not have the vocabulary and your physical efforts deteriorate, then you will never get the result you want.

So essentially if I fail at anything I do not give a shit, so long as I know in self-honesty that I really did everything I could to find a solution, that I gave every fibre of effort, that I didn't look for an easy way out or give in till the very final whistle.

When there is a target, when beliefs and efforts do not diminish, when you back yourself to find a solution no matter what, then amazing things will come to you in anything you are interacting with.

Some statements that have assisted me so much through the years are these kinds of statements -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reduce my efforts the closer I get to the end of something im interacting with, which only ends up diminishing the effective return from whatever it is im investing my time in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that whenever my efforts reduce in my physical actions, when laziness comes in the results are always tainted and lazy as a consequence.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise  in every breath that when my determination and physical efforts are consistent, my results are consistent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the law of attraction within anything never works unless your physical efforts of your body are actually consistent along with building effective vocabulary.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise in every breath that when efforts are consistent amazing things can happen out of nowhere, which may even seem like magic to others. But in reality there is no magic, it is only the consequence of effective marrying of thought and deed to find a solution no matter what, which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lazier the closer I get to the end of something, because of desiring it to be over and not do it in the first place seeing it as a hindrance to me - that I am "above it" which is just ego, rather than respecting what I am doing as being equal and one to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that giving up before the mission is complete is usually indicating ego and self-interest, where as giving my all till the very end is always best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect things will work out just by the power of my mind, which is a complete delusion because belief in getting something done is irrelevant if your vocabulary and physical efforts are not stable and effective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself growing up to define being lazy and apathetic as cool/good and giving all my efforts as stupid/bad - when in reality this is just a polarity friction and of course everything is in reverse so this definition makes no sense, because really it is cool and best for all to give your best efforts with consistency.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for an easy way out by reducing efforts the closer I get to the of something, which is inviting and attracting failure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise in every breathe, that giving up before something is completed or corrected, unconsciously resonates through all humanity and is a definitive factor in why so many people suffer in this world, because we have collectively agreed that it is acceptable to reduce our efforts to get something done, because of our self-interested desire for entertainment instead of completing our mission.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to participate with lazy thoughts the closer I get to the completion of something, I realise how this can damage results in anything I do - so as and when I see my mind having thoughts of giving in as I get to the end of something, I stop and breathe, I forgive myself, I do not participate with the thoughts as I know I will only empower this pattern, so I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more laziness that comes up.

I commit myself to showing that giving up on something before its completed or fixed, is the very reason why so many suffer in this world, because we are so busy in our self-interested procrastination to make the world a better place with ourselves as the directive principle.

I commit myself to showing that when efforts are consistent in creating what's best for all, then we always give ourselves the best opportunity to find a solution and succeed in manifesting this.

Day 364: Eye for an Eye

Revenge, such an interesting concept that has been around as long as humanity has and while it is such a clear part of human nature, I just want to write for a moment here to highlight why the concept of revenge as we understand it is not something we need to keep as part of our human nature.

What we see in our governments is an extension of what exists in our human nature and over this weekend many people have asked me about the USA/Iran situation, given the fact that one of Iran's highest ranking generals has been killed via a US drone strike.

Top Iranian Politicians and Military leaders are already openly threatening a retaliation, a violent form of revenge against the US and what you can see here is that really dangerous form of an "Eye for an eye" where more violence could be inevitable.

From my perspective the afterlife is where revenge to an abuser in the form of "karma" will happen, because you cannot escape what you have allowed - so sooner or later you will face what you have allowed and the harm you did to others in this life, which may end up happening to you in your next life as consequence.

But what we see in the world is everyone wanting to take responsibility to stand as the point of violent karma for those that harm us - everybody wants to be John Wick, where as soon as someone ever does anything to abuse us, it is just how we are programmed as Ego to automatically react in anger and want to do the same to our abusers and even justify doing worse to them directly with our own hands.

There is no John Wick killing all the bad guys in real life though, I mean if karma exists in this world, then why does money give abusers the ability to protect themselves from revenge or karma? In a world that's best for all, the system will actually stop that from happening - nobody will be able to use money to avoid consequence, because the ones that fuck get fucked, so in an equal money system the concept of an eye for an eye is actually used to benefit life and stop abuse from occurring.

Recently someone who highly dislikes the concept of Equality and Oneness, went out of their way to threaten harm against me who felt that my words had offended them - it has been many years since someone has tried threatening me in a "gangster way" like that.

But what was fascinating was that my mind had lots of old memories come up of when I was living as a criminal in my teenage years, where my mind immediately wanted revenge on these people threatening me.

Unfortunately while we are designed to desire revenge and believe it makes sense, this is the very recipe for the extinction of humanity and thus we cannot allow this cycle to continue -  So I laughed at myself the next moment, forgave myself and stuck to my breathing and simply blocked the people from my life.

This event made me proud of my development in my process, as walking away from violence is so easy for me now, but on top of this US/Iran stuff this past weekend it all caused me to look closer at the concept of revenge.

This capitalist money system humanity currently accepts is literally based on taking revenge on life, where a living being is punished through starvation for offending capitalism by not being born into a rich family and thus not having money, which is literal insanity. A gangster system you could say,  where money from abuse is rewarded while those that work the hardest legitimate jobs to try to support their family are punished with little or no money.

What I know for certain is that all we really have to do is individually and collectively stop our insistence on a consequence of revenge to justify our own suffering. If we forgive and forgive ourselves for desiring revenge, if we all stop our creation of abuse then we can start from scratch with a new reality that looks after all life in equality and oneness.

As dangerous as the concept of an eye for an eye is from the starting point of ego, there are still scenarios where the concept of an Eye for an eye can be valid if the starting point is changed to what's best for all life, one example could be - two partners, partner A was supposed to do the washing today, but did not as they decided in self-interest to disregard the washing and play computer games all evening instead - then it would be understandable for partner B to also not do the washing on their scheduled day once as an eye for an eye, because that type of "eye for an eye" actually assists the other partner to see their own limitations and make a change to do what's best in future.

So while an eye for an eye is dangerous if it is used to justify causing actual physical harm to another, capitalism allows people to hide from consequence of the abuse they commit by having money, while an equal money system will punish those that punish life, there will be nowhere to hide for any abusers, no money will protect you and we will have a world based on an Eye for an eye for the benefit of life.

Still in order to get to a beneficial eye for an eye, we must first remove all forms of abusive revenge from our nature, let's walk together until this is done and life can flourish on Earth -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire revenge when someone causes or threatens to harm to some part of my life. I realise that this is a trick of the Ego, an attractive defence mechanism trap of the mind which I realise is where we humans perpetuate a world of hurt which is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to hold onto memories of a time in my life where I would routinely accept the desire for revenge within me before I started this journey to life, I realise these memories will never assist me to live what's best for all life, so I take self-responsibility to remove this eye for an eye mind fuck up that the human ego wants to hold onto.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that anytime I desire revenge on someone I am weakening myself and strengthening them, by allowing that person to mind control me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that anytime I accept a desire for revenge, then I am unconsciously feeding the desire for revenge to perpetuate within all humans in this world which is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that Hollywood creates endless films like John Wick where the whole concept of the desire for revenge is glorified to the highest degree, which is then where humanity finds the concept so cool and thus perpetuates the status quo of the world as it exists, where real change is not possible and life continues to suffer on Earth because we humans are so busy with our selfish revenge games.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the concept of an eye for an eye is only ever valid to accept in this body if it does not cause me to cause harm to another living being - as soon as ana eye for an eye is used by the ego to justify me abusing someone physically is where it becomes unacceptable under any circumstance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not realise in every breath that in order for life to flourish on Earth we must remove the desire for revenge from human nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that the current money system is based on and perpetuates the desire for revenge we all individually accept in our minds, where the money system here justifies abuse, justifies taking revenge on the majority through starvation for making the mistake of not being born into a wealthy family. Fascinating that we allow a money system that would do something so horrific to life, so now we have to end this revenge stupidity and recreate what's best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that while an eye for an eye is abusive when it's used to justify harming someone with your own hand in this capitalist world - the current money system does not punish those that cause the worst harm to life, in an equal money system, the concept of an eye for an eye will be the actual foundation of the system because never again will someone be able to escape consequence with money, if you fuck up then you get fucked, which eventually leads to a world where nobody wants to abuse anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the past define myself through revenge, where I justify what levels of abuse I do to someone based on how much they offended my ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it's my responsibility to create karma to those that harm me or my family or friends - when in reality we can only ever face our own consequence ourselves and it is the afterlife is where life takes its revenge on the abusive ego of the human so to speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that violence to others is especially acceptable if someone is abusing my friends or family - while protection of my family and friends is understandable, I cannot allow any justification of actually planning physical harm towards others to exist within me because I know the cycle that exists here - As soon as I allow desire for revenge to exist in me, this is where I allow myself to create the justification of desires for revenge against me in another human.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that my only responsibility in this life is to investigate all things and only keep what is best - so trying to manifest the consequences of karma as violence to another being is not my responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that if humanity would accept teaching the principles of equality and oneness and martial arts to all children growing up, then within one lifetime we would create a world where it is commonly accepted that physical harm is never acceptable to be used for the purpose of attacking life for revenge, we humans are supposed to only be here for the defense of life.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to allow thoughts of revenge against someone who has offended me to exist, so any memories, reactions that come up - I do not participate, I continue to breathe and get to a point where the thoughts do not even come up any further, only me standing here in discipline and self-honesty until it's done is the only way any thought pattern is removed.

I commit myself to living the realisation that the desire for revenge must be removed from human nature in order for life to flourish on Earth.

I commit myself to exposing the current money system here for perpetuating a world of designing revenge, where life is punished for offending capitalism by not having money and if you have money you can protect your own abuse from any "karmic effects".

I commit myself to showing that in an equal money system there will be no desire for revenge that exists, because the government will take responsibility to monitor and actually catch and re educate those trying to justify some slight on them by abusing others with revenge. In an Equal money system the government will be actually comprised of the people and thus the government will  assist each one in unravelling our pre-programming and recreating ourselves as beings that resolve our issues with each other peacefully without the need for revenge.

I commit myself to showing that while the concept of an eye for an eye is dangerous when it is abused, the concept of an eye for an eye can be used to benefit life if the starting point is based on what's best for all life.