I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Accept break ups to "Be Natural" instead of Educating myself with Relationship Agreement skills to Manage and Hone the Relationship as Equals, supporting the Honorable Commitment to Each other as an Expression of Self-Respect and Respect for Each other as Living Beings where no Fear of Vulnerability or Fear of being Hurt Exists as Total Trust and Intimacy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear a partnership free of Consciousness through defining myself as this Consciousness for so long which has been the Foundation of all past sexual relationships in my Life before being with Hannah.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that my Partner will lose Interest in me overtime as has happened with previous partners - instead of trusting that my Partner is in Agreement with me where we have both Agreed to not base our Relationship on Emotional, Thought and Feeling systems as with standard System Relationships.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that I will lose interest in my Partner over time based on seeing that my time is limited here in this reality, that we all are Born and Die alone - and thus justifying a Belief in myself that people "naturally drift apart over time" and Nobody can stay together Forever, which I see is not the point of an Effective Agreement but rather embodying what is best for All as Actualized Love.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear the word Love.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear Intimacy and Desire Isolation but then when I destroy an interaction with a Female through pushing them away or "supporting" them to push me away and I am sitting on my own to then switch the Polarity to desiring a relationship again in an endless cycle of Separation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Define Relationships as being for "Weak people" who need others Financially and for Feelings and because of experiencing myself as a "Strong Independent" person for Majority of my Life, I See I have Fucked myself as this Idea of Strength point without realising that while "System Relationships" are indeed for those not Willing to create Whats' Best with another - an Agreement actually Requires Real Strength to Not Give in to the Desires and Fears of the Pre-programmed Mind, to Stabilise and Expand that with Each other as Real Muscle Communication and Development in the Gym of Life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to often refuse to see that Thought plays the Major role in ideas of Love/Relationships where Feelings are Energized and Justified with Conditional Parameters so I can Deal with Walking with Another - Instead of Standing as the Principle that is Best for All which will Certainly create a Best for All Relationship as Self-Honesty, Common Sense, Open Communication and Equal Integrity is the Input and so becomes the Output - But even though I know this I see how because of Fearing that I will not get what I want as the Best Relationship, or maintain it unless I Compromise myself, as I have seen it as "Normal" to Comprise to have any level of Sexual Relationship, without seeing that Comprise of Whats Best for All in the first place before the Relationship started is where the Break Up Actually came from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that in a world of No Love for All Life that my "Great Best for all Relationship of Real Love" will actually serve not as an Example people will Learn from, but Rather people will React, Compare and Fear my Agreement feeding into peoples ideas of themselves not being able to to have a Relationship in the first place - without Seeing, Realizing and Understanding that regardless of anything anyone else Learns or Not, whats Best for All is Best for All and Nothing less - an Agreement based on the Principles of Equality and Oneness is by default Best for All, thus any Justifications to the contrary would only be Based in the Fears of Ego trying to Isolate and continue this world of Isolation of Cold Ice that Never becomes Warm to Each other as Life which is Not acceptable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that people are "always" trying to attack me in some context because of me and my Family being attacked indirectly and directly in various ways through the years - where I will accuse my Partner of trying to Disagree with me just for the sake of it or Reacting to Me, Conspiring against me in someway - when Really this is my Ego trying to Defend itself from Intimacy by Isolating me from Another that Actually cares about me as my Partner does.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that I am "too much" for anyone to walk with effectively in Agreement, that there is too much "weird" knowledge and information about me and that I know in this world that will "Always" put someone off me in the Long run instead of Realizing that if this was true my partner would not have stuck with me longer then any Woman has, she would have been gone long ago.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that the Self-Honesty I have shown my partner in relation to my Life and Real Thoughts will cause her to Leave me eventually as I have seen with many Women before - when in Reality none of the Women I have been with Sexually were a Destonian like my partner is, therefore she would be more likely to leave me if I had not been Sharing my Real Life and Thoughts with her.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear putting in all my effort in to building an Effective Agreement to just be told to Fuck off later.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a Polarity System Fear and Desire a Partner who Truly understands the Mind as I have now - the Desire is to have a partner who actually understands the Human Mind when most Do Not and the Fear is from having a partner so understanding of the mind that there is Nowhere to Hide as the Secret Mind where as in System Relationships there is loads of places to Hide which Feels safe for the Human.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that my partner is always analyzing me anytime she is sitting opposite me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear getting used for Money Gifts and general Financial reliance by my Partner as Many Women have done before, because I have more Money and Pay for more Instead of considering that my partner does not display the dangerous "Gold digger" signals, tries to help me financially where she can and Regardless of it seeming Old School - I see it as Best that the Man has Responsibility to Work and make the Money in a Family, where as for Women I do not see that point as being so Important because the Very Body of a Woman is Designed for Childcare not Labour work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that because my partner does not write as Consistently as me and doesn't often share it, that there is some Secrets about her Life and Thought processes that she doesn't want me to know.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear that my partner does Not tell me what she Really thinks about me and Instead says what I want to hear Majority of the time because I have learnt to be Cautious with any Human in Life where I cannot easily access a Hub of their Thoughts as Consistent Open Self-Honest Blogs tend to show.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that my partner doesn't want to be with me based on my Race as my partners Mother had an unstable relationship with a Mixed race man.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear Not Ever having Any created images in my Mind Representing Sex which really all comes from my history with Pornography and Reenacting Pornography with "Female Friends" in the past which Completely misrepresents Sex as an Act of Self-Satisfaction, Pretending with Each other within Desire as the Mind - when in Reality Sex is Actually the Most Important Act of Life Creation and Continuation of Humanity on Earth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that I will repeat the Past by becoming an unplanned Parent again through misalignment of Birth control if I stay with one Partner having daily Sex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that having Children and Choosing who we have Relationships with will soon become Illegal/Selected for us, Women will become infertile, Men will lose Virility and Cloning will be seen as the only viable way we Humans Procreate - I see how my mind uses this point as a Justification to Not see the Point trying to build any form of Long term Relationship as it will only be more Painful later when you are forcefully separated from your Partner.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that some people who are Contentious towards me in my distant Family and past Enemies will try to harm my partner Indirectly or Directly in someway, which I notice my Mind at times tries to use as a Justification to not be with my Partner when in Reality my Partner is not easily shaken and our Agreement is and has been to the Benefit of both of us in different ways - my partners Strengths Support me to Face my Weakness and Vice Versa which is an Important foundational point for a Relationship to be what is Best .
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear being trapped in any form of Relationship, where I fear I "Will never have my own space again" when in Reality that Desire you hear people mention about "Wanting space" is Actually often based on the Fact that there is something in their Secret Mind that they either cannot express to or with their Partner after mentioning it. Instead it is Always Best to tell the Secret Mind to Fuck off and Understand that you can create space in any Relationship without Actually having to leave Each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear in various moments as this Discontent Experience that the Grass can be Greener in a Relationship when Really this is just the Mind showing me for a moment I am not Here as this Breath and as this Breath I able to Not experience or Participate with/Hold onto Discontent Experiences when they come up but just Move as this Breath where I make the Best of Everything that is Here Free from Past/Future Discontent.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that I will always have sexual thoughts towards other Women because of knowing Sexual Attractions can happen anywhere in Life and I have so many years of pathways built into me in relation to this, as I am so used to Women leaving me after explaining my life and family at some point that my mind is always Justifying thinking about "the next thing" in preparation for the current person saying "Marley you are fucking nuts I'm going".
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that because I have had sex with hundreds of Women in my life that all the Resonance imprinting effects from all the different women has "Created me" as a "Sexual being" that is to be treated more like a Toy by Female friends where any of them can contact me for a "Deep chat" and a few Sexual interactions when they get bored every few months and where I can randomly indulge different Sexual Appetites developed through my past with a Myriad of different Pornography.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that I will not Truly Transcend the idea of myself as a "Sexual being" because this character enables me to have Frivolous sex as Reliving the Past and as the Path of Least Resistance where I do not have any Responsibility to a Partner or have to put any Cultivating efforts into a Relationship.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that because I have Never had an effective Relationship Until now, that my Ongoing Learning process of what is acceptable and what is not acceptable will be too slow for my Partner in the End.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear spending more time with Men and Desiring to have mainly Female friends as I have done the Majority of my Life Simplistically because Women do not compete with me aggressively the way Men often do and with Female friends there is also the chance of Sex happening, in an Agreement or not but especially in an Agreement basing any friendships on the chance of Sex or Not is Unacceptable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that any time I suggest any new Sexual experimentation in our Agreement based on my Diverse Sexual history that my Partner will get Angry at me, Judge me as Disgusting and think she is not Satisfying me in someway Sexually, when I know I enjoy Sex with my Partner. Yet I also know that sharing Everything of Me is Best and I know that if any Mutually Beneficial Sexual Experiment could cause any breaking of the Agreement in anyway then it could not be Real in the first place.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear being Self-Honest about the whole system of Free stuff in connection to Sex - because many Sexually Promiscuous Humans, some people in Porn for instance will proclaim "Sex is our Greatest Freedom we can Offer" offering it to whoever you can think can benefit you in someway, where Relationships end up being based on "How much Sexual Freedom" I can get in the Name of Self-interest which often creates situations of Genetic Misalignment where two Porn crazed Addicts get together to feed into Each others Addictions while keeping the Relationship "Open" so Nobody is "Trapped" and can Fuck anyone else they want. Which is Fucked in Self-Honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that I will never be satisfied in Any Relationship because of my past Relationship with Women and Pornography - where stopping Pornography and Masturbation is required to have a Proper Relationship Agreement and while I have stopped watching Porn many times, stopping Masturbation and All the Pictures in my mind from Pornographic experiences I have played out with Women in the Flesh generally has made stopping Masturbation difficult as my sexual Memories are themselves like a Porn Website.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear living the Realization that creating an Effective Partnership with another is Actually a Requisite at Some Stage in the Process of Birthing oneself from the Physical Because walking Self as Another in Consistency is a part of the point - so if you are a Destonian but you have never Developed or even attempted an Effective Agreement after Walking Process for Years, I would suggest look in yourself at what Fears you are still Holding onto, look at what you still haven't learnt about Sharing Equality and Oneness, about putting yourself in the Shoes of another and Supporting them as you would like to be Supported as an Equal.
I commit myself to not allowing myself to Fear Relationship Agreements, to Not allow Any Ideas that I am "better off" on my own, that I am Trapped in Anyway.
I commit myself to Always Write Down my Shit and Live/Stick to the Words I Write - I Realise that No matter how many times I fall on any point, Everytime I write I make what I write the Physical Flesh and thus if I do Not Give Up, just keep Re-scripting my Life Over and Over again Until I Completely Become these Words.
I commit myself to Establishing a Living Principle as Me that will No Longer allow the Abuse of Life through Fueling Irrational Desires and Imaginations by Projecting/Reliving Pornographic Images into the Mind.
I commit myself to create Real Love as the Training of Myself with skills of Effective Agreement Design, to Walk with another in Psychological Pattern Clearing, Living Result of Vocabulary Alignment, Self-Honesty, Goal Alignment, Intimacy, Investigating and Releasing Fears, Past Life Clearing and so on.
I commit myself to Face my Fears and Judgments of others, to Share everything of Me with my Partner in All Ways Always.
I commit myself to Close all Back Doors so that no Secret Shit from the Past so that there is no reason for me or my Partner to call our Agreed Relationship as a Failure.