Day 363: The Fashionable Consumer - Suits you Sir

When I was a lot younger I liked a comedy show called the Fast show which is well known from the 90's in England.

But one of the sketches in this show was of two suit tailors, who would use fear, flattery and comedy to make people want to buy a suit, usually unsuccessfully to hilarious effect. The whole sketch is designed to make a joke out of how good some suit tailors are at salesmanship and getting customers to spend as much as possible on a suit.

In reality there really is some great suit salesman out there, I interacted with one just recently. Its amazing in life how in a brief 10 minute interaction with a person can identify so much about yourself and all life.

Now usually I don't like to consume clothes unnecessarily, I don't consume recklessly which is reflected in my credit rating - but I've had some money come in recently and some of my old clothes were damaged so I have bought some new things.

So I recently bought a new suit and did so with the help of no suit tailor, yet when I got home I realised I should have got a seperate new black jacket as well, as my current one was faded and slightly damaged.

The next day I went to a different suit shop, one I haven't been to before and immediately upon browsing the suits for a minute a man appeared behind me in a suit with a tape measure around his shoulders.

He introduced himself and his thick American accent was immediately evident - then he complimented the suit jacket I was looking to buy, he reeled off the different types of suit jackets/occasions for each type and his knowledge on suits was phenomenal. I thanked him and proceeded to walk to the counter to buy the jacket.

But this suit tailor questioned me as I began to walk, he said "Are you sure you don't want the suit trousers to go with that jacket?" to which I responded "no its ok I've got loads of black suit trousers" to which he responded "But how will you feel knowing that the trousers and the jacket are not from the same suit?".

He said this in such a matter of fact way and with a concerned look on his face - I laughed as I could immediately see the fear he was trying to use in order to get me to buy the full suit. Then the next second I actually had some old memories come up of when I have mixed suits before and had a fear reaction about it in the moment come up like "will people notice that the trousers and jacket doesn't match?" "I will be embarrassed if someone points that out".

I came out of the memories the next second, looked at the suit salesman who could tell I was thinking as he had a "I told you so" type of look on his face. I walked back up to him and said "that was really nicely done, you are showing me my own limitations as a consumer right now, ok give me the whole suit then"

He quickly measured me up and we completed the whole suit, I asked him how long he has been a suit tailor - he said for over 30 years across four countries and he said his aim no matter the suit shop was always to "make sure that the fears and desires of customers must be appeased in one visit if possible"

I said "well im sure youve been successful at that very often and you have succeeded again". I shook his hand and as I walked out of the shop I knew that I was just shown how programmable I am if the right buttons are pushed.

Of course it's an enjoyable experience to wear well made clothes, which are usually expensive - but allowing fears around fashion to cause me to buy stuff I don't really need is not needed -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that although I am usually disciplined in my spending which I have developed in my process, I can still have reactions come up which can be used against me by effective salespeople to make me buy something I wasn't planning on buying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that If my suit is not matching, then that will be a bad thing. I realise that I am just creating a polarity conflict here which keeps me in complete separation from physical reality, because it is simply matching clothing or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity construct where I see a matching suit/clothing as good and a mixed suit/clothing as bad, without realising that there is no good or bad in either, both have no more value then each other and both will make sense in various situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to always have matching clothes, without realising that whether my clothes match or not, it does not change who I am here as life and so should not cause any such desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I am not looking well dressed I will be judged negatively by others, which while that could be true according to how we humans are programmed, there is no validation to fearing this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise in every breath that fashion is used against humanity to keep us in separation, where we value amd trust people more or less based on how fashionable they look.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that fashion is subjective within clothing, it is interchangeable dependant upon what individuals and society says is acceptable at any given time, whether it makes sense or not - yet comfort is eternally supportive for my body here and thus focusing on comfortable clothing first is a foundation that's best for all, because the needs of the body should always supersede the desires of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of suit salesman in a  TV show making me laugh as a child, which has had the consequence in adult life of me automatically trusting suit salesman/tailors.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify buying more then I need as a means of appeasing my own fears around what will look the best and be as comfortable as possible, to remove decisions through buying more, instead of stopping myself breathing, applying common sense and just getting what I need here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my potential as a salesman, as a friend, a partner is limited if i'm not looking as well dressed as possible as often as possible, which is a mind fuck, because while being well dressed can help with all those things, your potential to be effective in anything should not be dependent on how you look but mainly on how you perform.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that there is nothing wrong with dressing smart, of enjoying expensive clothes - so long as im not allowing any separation within it and keep myself stable and self-honest as this breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that giving in to fear and desire, consuming more than I need like a zombie in the name of my own self-interest while majority live in suffering is the problem why the world continues  as it is.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to be convinced into getting more then i need in moments where I am buying new clothes, so as and when I see my mind having thoughts, trying to justify buying more for no solid physical reasons, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to interact with the convincing thoughts, I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to enjoying wearing comfortable and fashionable clothes, but not at the expense of living as who I am as this breath of life.

I commit myself to living the realisation that while fashion can be met at times, comfort should always supersede fashion as my foundation while buying clothes.

I commit myself to not giving up until I have created a world where all can enjoy the physically comforting experience of wearing the best clothes and where fashion parameters can be more limitless then ever before.

Day 362: Making Christmas what's Best for All

So it is Christmas again, another year has come and gone, now as we go into this festive period where many of us enjoy family time and partying I just want to highlight a few things.

Now when you look at my life from my birth till about 15, I celebrated christmas in exactly the same way we are taught to growing up according to the capitalist money system that is here - we always had a tree, loads of decorations, loads of presents for each other, huge amount of food and drinks with me my mum and grandad. I believed that's what christmas was, that it was defined by these things.

But at that time I started researching about the pagan/occult roots of Christmas and it caused me to want to celebrate it less. Then from about 16-21 i would still celebrate it but with less interest every year.

Then from about 21 - 24 I refused to celebrate it at all, as I started walking my journey to life. Then as my Grandfather got much more ill when I was 25, I celebrated it again as I knew the end was near for my Grandfather and I had so many great memories with my grandad at christmas growing up, so I wanted to give him at least one last send off.

Then when my grandfather died in 2013, that caused me to not want to celebrate it again. I highlight a lot of this stuff in my last Christmas blog a few years ago.

So the other day two friends at different points of the day asked me what i was doing, I told them I was doing christmas shopping. One friend said "That's strange for you isn't it?". I explained to her that within walking my process I have through the years identified limiting patterns of behaviour around Christmas within myself.

I have realised that Christmas is not something separate from me, no matter how much I try to block it out of my life - Christmas is a part of this one world we have created, thus rather then fighting against the system, I have taken action to redesign Christmas to be what's best for all.

An all inclusive Christmas with no limitations you could say, that's what I now enjoy doing each year at this time. Who says I have to have a Christmas tree in order for it to be christmas? I say with or without a tree, a tree does not define christmas to me and anyway why would cutting down a tree ever be a good thing?

Who says that I have to tell children that Santa Claus is real? Ok you can do, but why is it required at Christmas? As a tongue in cheek joke in the child's first 5 years or something maybe, but I mean firstly understanding the origins of Santa Claus is difficult for any child to understand and secondly why would I want children to believe that an invisible man can magic up presents for kids in a world where so many children go without any presents? I would rather be clear with kids about where the present comes from.

Why would I teach a child that "acting good" to get what you want as over lavish spoiling is acceptable? I would rather teach children to live what's best for all as a part of their nature, not pretending and selfishness, that creates spoilt brats.

Who says we have to get eachother hundreds of presents with all kinds of conditions? Why can we not just get each other a few presents with no conditions? I have no interest in manipulating others to do something for me, or feeding into greed within me or another through pointless over consuming.

Why do presents have to always be based on how much money you have? Of course we all like to get someone close us an expensive item, but in reality a present that's best for all does not need a monetary value, even cooking a meal or giving  a good hug is a present and anyone who truly cares about you will never demand or expect any kinds of gifts, because they know that you yourself are the real present in their life.

I'm not saying don't buy presents, but I am saying use discernment within this, don't be a mindless consumer - you going into debt to give a family member a fleeting moment of happiness, is only going to cause more problems for the family down the road. So only spend if you can afford it, if not then as I say there are other ways to show someone you care for them other then spending money on them.

Why do I have to stress about preparing my Christmas party/meal? I literally watched two families argue at a check out today, just because one wouldn't move out the way for the other as both families were buying loads of food, drinks and gifts - I stepped in to remind both families that it's Christmas so let's not get stressed at each other over stressing over christmas preparations.

Why am I only supposed to get presents for my own and family and friends only? According to the principles of Equality and Oneness all life is my family and thus I can give presents to anybody, because everybody is me.

Who says I am only supposed to have christmas dinner with my own blood family? I want to live in a world where all life can have access to christmas celebrations, therefore anybody can join my family Christmas meal, because as with any elite family there is always plenty to go around on Christmas day.

Why does Christmas have to involved reverence for the birth of Jesus? Whether he existed or not which is difficult to ascertain, I personally just like Jesus's principles so I would rather celebrate those then his birthday.

Where is the benefit to getting blind drunk just because it's Christmas? There really is no benefit to ever getting blind drunk, but around family at an emotional time of year, it's no surprise that many arguments happen around Christmas. So why can't I just have a few drinks with my meal instead? My enjoyment at Christmas should never bed based on how much alcohol I have consumed.

These are all questions I have been asking myself in recent years then taking action to adjust the starting point within me to what's best for all life - it's now fun every year to make Christmas what's best.

Then after one of my friends questioned why I was buying presents, that same day when another friend asked what I was doing and when I told her I was Christmas shopping, she said she hates Christmas.

I smiled as I read her text message because I know that exact experience that she shared with me - when i asked why, its because she said her family is so small and fractured that she doesn't see the point, again I smiled as I know that exact experience.

If you don't want to celebrate Christmas to any capacity I understand, however I would like to live in a world where all life is able to have fun at Christmas and with an Equal Money system we can even have Christmas everyday - the greatest present for humanity is heaven on earth where the abuse of nature, rape, war and starvation are extinct.

Let's make 2020 a great one and walk until it's done -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed  myself to believe that celebrating Christmas is bad, however I realised I have created a polarity in separation from myself which does not support me and as I have also realised, I can actually change the starting point of christmas to be what's best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to separate myself from Christmas in past years through not celebrating it, yet I have realised that I live in this one world with all life, so Christmas is here thus it is a part of me, thus it is my self-responsibility to design Christmas to be something that actually benefits life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise until recent years that ANY

abuse that exists in this world - the answer to correct this abuse is never through avoidance and suppression, it can only be dealt with by me taking self-responsibility and directing the change I want to see within and without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in past years that christmas is defined by adhering to set rituals such as trees, decorations, presents etc - I realise now that these are all definitions, thus limitations, so I can remove these definitions to create a base of christmas that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that fighting against Christmas in past years only strengthens the capitalist design of christmas.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed into a money system that makes sure that only the elite minority can celebrate christmas.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that ignoring the abusive basis of christmas as it exists currently, is me allowing abuse and thus in order to live what's best for all life I must take on Christmas and re-design in to what's best.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to again act as though Christmas is something separate from me as I live the realisation in my process that all is me and thus I must investigate all things and only keep what's best -

So I commit myself to only keep the best parts of Christmas and to remove the parts that are based in limitations and are abusive to life.

I commit myself to expose that the current systems definition of Christmas is actually a danger to life, because it feeds directly into peoples selfish brainwashed consumer nature where a system of haves and have nots is kept in place.

I commit myself to living the realization that real Christmas is all inclusive, where all life can join in the celebrations.

Day 361: The Power of the Will

It's interesting when you look at what people will into existence, what we focus on and allow ourselves to be moulded by. Amazing how we usually don't realise how powerful we can be, but instead will so often let our will be influenced by big business to be self-interested consumers that have no care for life.

Yet at the sametime as I have seen in myself it is possible to re-direct, rewire our will to create that which is best for all life, to be disciplined to do what needs to be done no matter what.

I always found the concept of will interesting ever since my grandfather taught me about Friedrich Nietzsche's theory of "will to power" and the Nazi film Triumph of the Will for the first time when i was growing up. It really is unbelievable what can be achieved, willed into existence by one human if one intends it to be so - believe what you like about Hitler but his life certainly did prove this point. Anything really can be achieved when we are determined and focused to manifesting what we set out to do.

This past weekend I willed myself to interact with and uplift all present at a christmas party, which resulted in lots of cuddles, smiles, laughs and interesting conversations all night and into the early hours. It has for many years been my passion to will into existence what is best for all life.

When one in a room smiles in interaction with me, I will myself to make sure that as many people as possible in the room are on equal ground with each other, that we all share in these smiles I enjoy taking self-responsibility for this point.

Yet like anyone else my will has been tainted/directed by my parents, by the system of capitalism as it exists now - so I stand where I will not allow fear to make my decisions any further, I will what is best for all life breath by breath until a new will of life is so in everything I do. 

Also as I see the consequence of willing what is best repeatedly enough with others, I notice people who maybe had initially pre-judged me negatively in someway - change how they treat me as I see the fears they had towards me melt and they then will themselves to interact with me more as the power of the will spreads in the room.

I realise how peace on Earth will only happen when the individual will in each is aligned to what's best for all life - the will of life. Who will honour life?

All will is choice, yet the will as we humans have known it is not free, because it has not and will not create a world that is best for each individual. However, choice without fear without polarity is the only choice that is free.

See where your will is tested, because time always tests will and thus will indicate where any patterns of selfish brainwashed will exists in our head which must be redirected to what's best.

As time is always against us, the time must be taken for all of us to become the Will of Life -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that time tests all will, where whatever one does repeatedly will become the very fabric of the person and the world - there is no shortcut to what's best for all life, but simply stopping and undoing what has been willed breath by breath and then willing into existence what is best for all life breath by breath until its done.

I commit myself to show that time really gauges all will on Earth, where the inner intent of will is measured to highlight who will honour life.

I commit myself to show that the weak will of man is the leading directive of the world as it is where abuse is justified and that only once the individual will of each person is restored to what's best for all will we have a world of real peace for all life.

I commit myself to show that this journey to life is designed to restore the will of life, step by step until its done.
  

Day 360: A road to nowhere

You know that feeling when you are driving somewhere and you are lost, but you try to convince yourself that you are not, that you will work it out and at the end of this road you hope will be the destination you're looking for. Even though in reality you know this hope is in vein and you will need some additional directions to reach your destination.

It is this road to nowhere experience which I notice comes up as a pattern of behaviour for me in interaction with some people, most of my friendships are solid, but some are these strange roads that go nowhere - it's like I know that a certain person i'm trying to convince myself is a friend or business partner is very much lost within their own internal experience to the point that our partnership is essentially a pointless road to nowhere.

There may be some part of this person that I like, so I always try to convince myself that this thing I like about them justifies me trying to support this person to grow and succeed, even when they clearly have no interested in supporting me to do the same, so the consequence is a frictional relationship.

Its like yes I know this person is abusing themselves and everyone else around them, but because I like this thing about them then I must give them the benefit of the doubt, so it's worth continuing down this road of interaction even though they clearly don't hear or see me.

Pity factors into this as well sometimes, because as much as there will be something that I like about this person that causes me to keep the door of interaction open, I also find that it can also be something else about the person that I pity - it could be their lack of money, lack of education, lack of physical strength or charisma all of which could make me want to interact to "save this person" that does not even want to save themselves.

You know an interaction is broken, because when you listen to the person intently offering feedback and interaction into whatever they want to speak about - but when you speak, the person is not listening to you at all, but is rather just waiting for their turn to speak at you again. They will not ask about things in your life but will just speak all their problems and life highlights to you like a broken record.

When you offer support unconditionally but you mainly just get that person's demons spewed all over you everyday, with no attempts to learn or fix the issues - When someone keeps hurting themselves and will not listen when you time and time again ask them to stop, when you are a crutch for someone who is simply using you to feel better about themselves.

What I am realising within all this is that time is precious, we do not have much of it in this lifetime - yes we can learn from and find mutual grounds with anyone, but when your interaction is all you trying to contain the consequence of the persons abuse that they won't change, then the door needs to be closed until they can fix their own issues, not kept open.

If you allow this road to nowhere pattern you will find yourself wasting a lot of time on people who do not give a fuck about you, when your time can be utilised much better on someone who is actually open to equal interaction, learning and support where real partnership is born.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a pattern of behaviour in separation from myself, where I waste time driving down roads of interaction with some people that obviously will not prove fruitful for all life, just because I like or pity something about this person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use something that my mind likes or pities about a person as a basis for interacting with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I like this thing about them, or because I have empathy for something bad about their life, that these reasons will mean that the road will get me to the destination of a strong partnership, when that is not possible because it started in separation as an illusionary idea.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that if I am persistent with this person, If I show them that I really believe in this road, that the longer I keep the door of interaction open, then the more likely they are to wake up and assist me as I do them - when in reality the longer we exist as a pre-programmed pattern, then the harder it actually becomes to change no matter who suggest you should change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that when a road is going nowhere, i must get on a different road that will get me to my destination, not pretend that the wrong road will work out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to save people when this is not possible, I can only save myself, nobody can save anyone else from our own bullshit in our heads.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise how much time I waste on interacting with certain people who are not in a healthy mind state to have a healthy relationship with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself no to realise that while it is possible to find mutual ground and learn with anyone, when interaction becomes toxic with anyone, it is best for all to walk away from the person, because isolation always forces us to look closer at ourselves and so is a better support tool then trying to "save them."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that wasting time going down pointless roads is the reason why we have a a world of chaos, because all this time wasting on pointless tasks, is how the real major tasks in this world like eliminating poverty, rape and war are ignored - we are all too busy tumbling down rabbit holes in our pre-programmed mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to trust someone more because they are attractive to me sexually in some way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to trust someone more because of a specific skill they have that I admire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to trust someone more because they seem to have had a tough life in someway and I experience pity and empathy about this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who can always find a way to fix something, which is a cool point in relation to myself but in relation to others, I cannot take on the responsibility to fix anyone else - I am not a machine programmer that can adjust other peoples programming at my discretion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get annoyed when something I know will assist someone is ignored by the person who needs the support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in every breath that if my starting point is not clear and self-honest on why i'm interacting with someone, then I should not be interacting with them until I adjust my starting point to what's best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that if someone wants to keep abusing, then it is not my responsibility to keep challenging them about it, hoping I will chip away at their ego and allowance - when in reality I must close the door just as easily as I opened it.

Day 359: Everybody's shoes

It's cool when you see growth in yourself, when you see some of the subtle yet amazing consequential effects of walking this journey to life.

As a teenager and growing up I always had this problem of "going things alone" where I would have "friends" but I would usually prefer being on my own the majority of the time.

When I would interact with people, it would only be very specific types of people at very specific times based on the idea I had of myself and the world at the time. I would judge people and treat certain people differently, lots of conditional interaction.

Yet I have been for years since starting my process been pushing myself to interact with people more and more through self-forgiveness, breathing and repetition. I have learnt that we are alone but we are all one as a species and equal in our value, so when we work together through the laws of 1+1 = 2 then we create two really strong beings instead of one.

This past weekend  I went to an event with some workmates, now this was an optional event  as an award for the best performers in the company - but it meant changing my own personal schedule for the day and spending a full morning, afternoon, evening and night with my workmates hundreds of miles away.

In the morning a thought came up to not go, to just stay in bed and in these moments it's funny and I automatically laugh seeing what my ego is trying to do, I stop, forgive myself, breathe then get out of bed, meet my workmates and had a really great time with my work friends and our bond was only strengthened which is best for all.

For years now, whenever thoughts of Fear to interact comes up - it automatically makes me want to interact, because i I know from pushing myself so many times now that amazing things happen when you join hands with people, join hands with life so to speak.

It is a knowingness that makes me laugh in these situations, a knowing that interacting with others is always going to create amazing opportunities to do something powerful in this world, opportunities that are missed when one tries to go things alone, being a loner and having really defined groups of "friends" in complete separation of myself.

Everyone always benefits more, the more we participate with each other, support each other in every breathe, instead of being here on our own in our selfishness where we are limited to the limitations of only being one person - two heads are better than one has become a part of who I am.

There is no specific groups now to my friends, I can find common ground with anyone now, if you look at my friends now and look at my friends before i started my process, my friends now are from all walks of life. I am able to start a conversation and interact with anyone on an equal level of respect as life as I myself would like to be treated by them.

It's these new neural pathways that I have created through physical repetition where anytime the ego tries to insert any thoughts around avoiding certain people, or avoiding changing my schedule for others, or interacting with others.

I automatically move with who i am with in any situation, finding solutions. There is no acceptance to interact with the thoughts as there always used to be before my process, because I now have no specific definitions and judgements that i hold towards others - I see everyone as me, so i know that there is nothing to fear from anybody and I can learn and create something that's best for all with anybody as long as they are not abusive to me.

This is ongoing though, because although the thoughts to avoid being around others are so infrequent now and although I automatically do not interact with the thoughts, I continue until there is not even any thought that attempts to come up in these scenarios.

The amazing weekend I had really shows how enjoyable being with others really is, never let the ego tell you that you should not interact with people, that you won't enjoy changing your schedule or being with people you don't usually spend your days with - because when you focus on the similarities with people instead of the differences, then you will be able to create a wondrous group mind wherever you will walk on the face of this Earth we all share in this one lifetime we live.

It's just so beautiful being able to move with anyone like water in this lifetime, able to create unity with anyone be they a Billionaire banker or a homeless man on the street. I will keep interacting with all life unconditionally because i am not willing to accept this world as it is, we need each other no matter where we come from or how we look or what we have been through. We literally can't afford to accept any attempts from our ego to limit our interaction with each other -  we cannot ever underestimate the power of teamwork, we are at a point in history where we need each other more than ever before.

I know with certainty till my last breathe, that my ego will never trick me again to place limitations on friendship and interaction with others in general - we are all cells of one body, you live in my shoes and me in yours reading this.

The sooner we all put our heads together, the sooner we will have a world that is best for all in equality and oneness as heaven on earth - so lets keep walking together no matter what until it's done.

Glad to be here with you!

Day 358: The Messiah saves us all

What do you see when you look at majority of Hollywood films made throughout time to this day? Messages of a messianic figure prophesied to save us all from the shit we created. What do you see when you look at religion throughout time to this day? Messages of the messiah.

It's fascinating how throughout human history we have had an incessant desire and belief that a great saviour will always eventually come to save the world.

Now in 2019 as I sit here writing with a random film in the background called "Seventh Son" It is making me laugh because I see nothing but messianic messages in this film still being pumped into humanity.

Then I see how this system that supports this messianic message, has affected my own mind growing up where I have fucked myself up many times with messianic ideologies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise how many humans in fact believe themselves to be the Messiah returned, some sort of prophesied hero to save humanity from apocalypse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that those that think they are a Messiah in anyway, are in fact just giant Egos trying to change others before changing themselves which is never best for all as it is just a self-interested ego trip.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe at times growing up that I am some kind of prophetic figure born in this world to do "special work" which as it turns out seems to be a problem many humans have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise how many people actually believe themselves to be the one here to save humanity from doom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that films and media has been designed to keep messianic messages cycling through consumer minds, which I realise causes an apathy within people where they don't see the point in changing as "The Messiah" will come one day and fix everything for us all, which is bullshit in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to films and media growing up, adding layers to an idea of me being some kind of special messiah.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a great saviour to come along and save me and all humans from our own shit, so that I don't have to take self-responsibility for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be apathetic about changing at times, because of believing that things will work out by themselves through messianic ideas, so i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't need to do anything to make a better world because a great Messiah will come oneday to fix all of us humans, which or course is not true.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto memories growing up of how I was given the name Marley, which essentially was a demand from a witchdoctor, who spoke to my mother before I was born as if was some prophet to come, even elaborating a story to my mother of the future she could see for me, which I then allowed to fuck up my ego growing up where i defined myself as a "special one".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a special one growing up, destined for a great journey.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that Religion was created as a trap to keep consumers locked in an endless search for salvation to make sure that there is no competition for control of resources on Earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that spirituality is simply an outflow of consumerism, to distract people with "self peace" creating a populace that will not question the better life of the super wealthy, because the spiritual will focus on a better life after death, which makes sure that the status quo continues as it does as a world of haves and have nots.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that this mess of messiahs and corruption on Earth has created a humanity that only cares about their own self-healing, delving deeper into their own individual "inner god" as ego as self-interest, accepting the mess that is on Earth and not caring to take care of all life on Earth equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that it was actually critical in the design of consumerism to get personal effort to be subject to the idea of an invisible god to which all success is attributed, so that people accept self-interest as a right of the sinner without feeling guilty as the messiah will come to provide a divine force to save us all from ourselves which is impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that the system of charity in this world is very much fucked within this same Messiah point - where humanity believes it is acceptable to play the Messiah saviour over those less fortunate, to make ourselves feel better about the self-interested consumerism we live as, without realising that it is this very system of Messianic charities that continue the money system of haves and have nots, creating an endless cycle of rich and poor, which i will never accept.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the biggest new religion is that of the "divine self" as the pursuit of happiness in ever evolving consumerism. believing that this divine self is evolving in the face of a deteriorating mess on Earth as increased rape, war and starvation.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to ever believe that me or any human in this world has some kind of prophetic, messianic importance, because in reality we are all equal as life, it is only through our unified efforts that we will save our species from certain destruction, so as and when i see my mind having thoughts come up of messianic ideas, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to participate, I realise in this moment the trap my pre-programmed mind is trying to play, so I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to support people to realise that only through individual and unified self-responsibility in changing the nature of the human will change become physically manifest on Earth.

I commit myself to showing that Messiahs are in fact giant Egos believing they are the one that can change the world before changing themselves which does not work.

I commit myself to showing how the god consciousness is the evolution of the ego where individuals can exist in an internal delusion of godhood with nmo practical solutions to bring about what's best for all life.

I commit myself to show that anyone with voices in their head, or a messiah complex is a danger to themselves and anyone around them and therefore should be referred for mental health support in solution until they face the dangerous inner reality they have created which if not changed can result in violence and abuse in the world.

I commit myself to show that all divinity and spirituality is in essence, design and application just another branch of consumerism that does not care for all life, as it only serves unique self-interest.

Day 357: Pain

It's interesting how one can allow the mind to believe it is impervious to pain, while in physical reality nobody is impervious to pain. We all have various athletic capacities and durability, but everybody has there pain threshold that they cannot go beyond to be fully functional.

When our pain threshold is breached, then our ability to focus here on anything else essentially goes out of the window, pain is all encompassing and you are helpless to it, enslaved to it until the pain is physically supported and healed.

I have been reminded of that with two moments this month, a decaying wisdom tooth at the back of my mouth that requires removal and on Friday night there was a very high jump off a subway which caused me to sprain my ankle badly even though i kept running pretending i wasn't hurt in the moment.

Both these events have shown me that regardless of what my ego says, pain can affect me like anybody else. I have noticed how I have allowed my athleticism and mental toughness to cloud my understanding of this fact, that I will always be ok and no fear of pain or pain itself can stop me from acquiring my target and completing my mission.

The reality is of course that if i had dealt with my wisdom tooth earlier on the pain would be less right now and if i didn't jump off that subway like the little spiderman ninja I define myself as, then my ankle would be fine and I wouldn't be hobbling around like I have been the past few days.

This pattern of thinking pain cannot afflict me, paying no attention to the consequence of my actions on my physical body is unacceptable and must be stopped in order for me to live what is bets for all life -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that physical pain cannot affect me, that i have no threshold that i cannot go beyond to complete my objective. In reality I realise this is a complete delusion of my pre-programmed mind a pattern in separation from physical reality, because in self-honesty here, I have a pain threshold i cannot go beyond to function effectively like anybody else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being impervious to pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of times in my life when people, or events in life have tried to physically hurt me and I have always been tough enough to get through it to get the job done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as weak if i fear pain or cant handle pain, when in actual fact fear of pain can be a support as it can be realigned to common sense to look after the body, to avoid unnecessary harm to the body which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that I have reacted to my body's natural athleticism and toughness and used this as a justification as to have no care about the consequence of pain on my body in any situation, which is reckless and self-sabotaging, which is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as some kind of spiderman ninja that is never off balance or acknowledging of pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react every time someone comments on my speed, strength or durability as another layer on this character which believes he is impervious to pain when he is not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exaggerate my physical capabilities and limitations within and as my pre-programmed mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget how debilitating pain can be when it hits you hard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that my idea of myself is an ant in the face of physical existence, my body no matter how it is designed, no matter how i think or feel about it must be looked after, I can never afford to underestimate how quickly physical reality can remind me of my bodies limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that when pain comes, i can focus on nothing else - my ability to do anything effectively is severely compromised as the pain overrides my focus, thus one must always respect pains power and not throw caution to the wind about the consequences of pain on my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepte and allowed myself not to realise that ignoring pain, disrespecting pain is a major problem humanity has as to why so many suffer in pain everyday and nobody speaks up for these people. We believe that you should just deal with pain yourself and you can "take anything" when this has always been based in separation to keep the status quo in place where we are all slave sto a system of haves and have nots.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to disregard [ain ever again, so as and when i see my mind having thoughts that the consequence of pain to my body is irrelevant i stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage with these thoughts as in doing so would only put my body in situations of receiving unnecessary physical pain, so i continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that pain is a real part of this world that is able to affect anyone's life at anytime, which is why pain must be respected and so bringing pain onto ourselves through pre-programmed behavioural patterns makes no sense as it is just self-sabotage.

I commit myself to making sure i expose this system of ignoring pain in this world that allows for billions to suffer in painful silence while humanity does nothing.  

Day 356: Demons running riot part 2

Continuing from my last blog -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in recent years when this energy system of wildness around Halloween is coming up and possessing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in every breath that a world where demonic behaviour runs riot is not a world that is needed to be continued as it only causes harm to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of depression around my grandfather and Bernards death in a short period of time as justifications for allowing demonic behaviour as wild partying when there is an excuse too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a pattern of sadness about important people to me being taken by death and using that as an excuse to fall in love so to speak with anything that reminds me of the darkness of death such as Halloween.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do too much alcohol and drugs when this wildness character takes hold of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the word Halloween as automatically meaning party, where every responsibility I have is disregarded, which is unacceptable abuse so I must stop participation with this pattern as it is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that damaging my body when there is work to be done or at any time is never acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard work and even sleep as this demon running riot character which again only causes damaging consequences to my life which is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that this very point im allowing of finding excuses to disregard my responsibilities and focus on my own selfish warped energetic happiness is the exact problem that has caused the world to be the way it is now, where so many suffer in silence because me and all us elite humans are ignoring reality in favour of our wild partying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this "dark knight" where I always wear black, watch a lot of sad films, listen to a lot of sad music and desire to be around things that remind me of the darkness of death, which is just separation and thus not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to to be around things that remind me of death  and how crazy this world is such as Halloween.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that having some fun from a starting point of what's best for all in physical reality, is completely different from having fun from a starting point of a self-interested energy system in separation from physical reality.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to become this wildness at halloween character in future, as it does not support me to live what's best for all - so as and when I see my mind shifting having thoughts coming up I stop and breathe, I realise the dangers of participation with these thoughts, so I continue to breathe, until there is no more thoughts coming up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that when I am having fun from a clear starting point, I am not damaging my body and while I smile and laugh I still remain aware of and look after my responsibilities and health.

Day 355: Demons running riot

What do you see at Halloween? People dressing up like Demons running around going wild on sugar for kids and often alcohol and/or drugs for adults. Then we see how in the world humanity has allowed an increase in demonic behaviour to sabotage ourselves and our world.

Interesting I notice that in recent years, I always end up having a crazy night on Halloween, where I desire to be in the most Demonic Halloween setting, like the more serious the group of people take Halloween the more I want to be there and have a wild party of some kind, like Halloween stands in my mind as the best holiday to show the craziness of us humans and our lives.

Now in previous years I never really celebrated Halloween much, nor many holidays really - but when i look closer I see a pattern that developed some years ago around 2013, it was in October when my grandad died not long after Bernard died - I don't think I had ever felt so fatherless and confused about what i'm supposed to do in my life before i die.

I remember feeling like the most important people to me were slowly being pulled away, taken to some place beyond the darkness of death where I can no longer be with them. I wanted excuses to forget about life so to speak.

I have always been known for not being easily shaken about death, but after my grandad and bernard died in a short period this new level of ghostliness about death came up within me, I started desiring just being around things that remind me of death, staring harder than usual when i drive past a cemetery, watching films with a dark tragic story, listening to sad music very often, wearing more black than ever before, this sort of love affair with sadness about life/death developed, and going wild on Halloween became another outlet, an excuse to exist as energy in self-interest.

This past weekend despite having work to do in the morning, my mind shifted and i went out dressed up with some friends as demons, I was V - we went to a huge Halloween party and played lots of games, made new friends, danced around to music and got really drunk.

I didn't actually sleep that night and as it got to around 9am, while the party was still going on, some people were passed out around the house, I just had a realisation about why I am always so set about partying so hard particularly on Halloween, I see the energy system that comes up every year at halloween. I went to leave despite some people asking me to stay and skip work. 

As I walked home with a pounding headache, my clothes were disheveled and my ability to work for the rest of the day was compromised and ineffective. On any other day of the year when I know I have work the next day, I would never party like that.

I asked myself during the day - was that worth it? Now while it was a fun party and cool to meet new people, I know that many of them likely won't remember much of what happened due to drugs and alcohol - so it was clear to me that no it was not really worth it, so why am I letting myself be directed by this energy system desiring wildness at Halloween?

Having fun at Halloween from a clear starting point of what's best for all is totally different to going wild from a starting point of separation in self-interest as energy.

So I make note of this event, I take on the ending of this self-sabotaging system where i can physically walk out the pattern via self-forgiveness - As i see that I am the beginning and ending of this, so only me here as this breath can transcend this pattern which diminishes my awareness - I stop so that next halloween I live what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as an energy system of  wildness on halloween, where I will disregard responsibilities and my bodies well being just to have a crazy party where I dress as a demon, with others dressed as demons feeding into demonic behaviour with each other. 

Join me next time as I continue.



   

Day 354: Designed by the Quantum Flesh

You know those moments where two people have invisible concepts that they are trying to project onto visible reality, where two people will essentially argue and battle over their invisible concepts, while the visible suffers.

In these and many other moments I am reminded by the question - who are we? I look at what I have allowed to be designed as myself, I look in self-honesty at what makes no sense, because we are essentially a result of what has been programmed into our flesh and if bullshit concepts are programmed into the flesh, then you see how a mentally dysfunctional individual and world develops into what we have here.

We are designed by the quantum flesh, so lets rebuild it to be what's best -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in every breath that we are designed by the quantum flesh.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that consciousness is a  product the living flesh, which acts as a quantum reality perceptual robot, analysing and basing views and feelings on what programmed knowledge has been built into our flesh, which we then use to measure our values and integrity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the intelligence, ability and potential of a person can be changed by changing the programs of the living words built into the flesh.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the mind acts as a transfer mechanism for knowledge/images into the body and opinions/thoughts from the body - this is how it has been possible for the few to control the many as the documentary "Century of the self" shows.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the first opinion one formulates when you meet someone is based on the knowledge and experiences you allow to be built into the flesh, so this opinion is not formed by the mind, instead it is done resonantly by the quantum flesh instantaneously.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that when self-interested bullshit concepts are built into the flesh, then mental health dysfunctions as abusive personalities will form that will selfishly compete and consume this world of plenty. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that when this acceptance of the integration of  mental dysfunction occurs, then the body moves like a faith robot, using emotions and feelings to communicate through the mind.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that people are only as trustworthy as the knowledge and information the flesh is fed via sound, images and experiences - thus if the knowledge and information the flesh is being fed is based in separation, then the human cannot be trusted with life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the mind has no power here, it is only a tool which if abused creates the physical body as an abusive expression that will live within and cause fear, thus continuing the world of fear as it has been designed here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the delusional human psyche as a false energetic love, is a convenient excuse programmed into the flesh to not take responsibility to provide real love for real life on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that real love is built into the flesh by living in equality and oneness, where programs are fed into the body that produce what is best for all life unconditionally with none left out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that real intellect does not come from the mind, but from the body that we all share - so when this is understood, then equal intelligence will eventually be possible for all, instead of this some genius/some stupid design of intelligence as we currently have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the assumed knowledge of the human psyche as seen in the mental health industries, has no substance as it is just a machine that promotes consumerism and the control of the many by the few.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that parenting plays a huge role in the preparation of the flesh as the quantum machine for the life of the individual - so when parenting is corrected to be based in what's best for all life, then a world will be created where all life is valued and our children will produce incredible results.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that television and movies will increasingly result in people existing as flesh copy cats of what they see, where the bizarre abusive acts seen in films today will be played out by people as the physical body becomes the complete delusion manifest forever more - this is why it is so important that tv and films are changed to present what is best for all life.

I commit myself to show that the flesh is the real quantum machine which determines our awareness, not the mind, so only a self-honest being as flesh will correct every thought that comes from the flesh to be what's best for all life.

I commit myself to show that the words/images placed through the mind into the body determines the value of the flesh as living words, so all words must have the value of life to create a being in flesh that is best for all.

I commit myself to show that experience teaches nothing unless it is used for the self-correction of the flesh.

I commit myself to show that dysfunctional mental health is just the result of dysfunctional storage of images and knowledge, which can be corrected by understanding how the flesh creates consciousness.

I commit myself to show that they way the world functions currently, no humans can really be trusted with life as most humans do not understand how the flesh is actually the boss as the real quantum awareness of  humans, not the mind.

I commit myself to show that all energy of love as feelings, is not real love and this false love is programmed into the flesh as an addictive force to keep awareness blind and docile like a drug in delusional self-interest. 

I commit myself to show that the intelligence and potential of a person can be changed through changing the programs of living words into the flesh, where anyone in this world can move from mediocrity to genius.

Day 353: I see what I want to see

Isn't it interesting how we all tend to see what it is we want to see, instead of what is actually reality? Its where we have this mental image about ourselves or something or someone, that we superimpose, project on top of what is actually tangible.

You know its like that scene in Blade Runner 2049 where Officer K is having sex with a woman, but uses technology to project the image of his holographic girlfriend on top of what's really here.

So this past weekend there was a moment where I was with some friends and at one point there was a discussion about height, and one of my friends said: "yeah i would say im 5 ft 8" then there was this silence for a few moments, most in the group smiled, then we gently reminded him that in reality he is more like 5 ft 4.

The tone was tongue in cheek, and we reminded him that in some countries he would be tall and that height means nothing anyway, but he laughed it off and said "well whatever im 5 ft 8 in my world anyway".

We all laughed and changed onto a different topic, but the point about height, seeing what we want to see - really did highlight to me something we all have done before and is a huge reason why there is so many problems in the world. I considered for a moment when I have lived as similar projections in various moments throughout my life.

It's why there are so many varying ideas about what love is, why we find certain people annoying while others do not, it's why some people are racist, it's why we turn a blind eye to what is actually here - creating a virtual reality, a separate world we can hide in the bliss of money and happiness, where we are completely ignorant to the suffering of others in our one world as those in poverty.

It's almost like all we really care about is the fulfilment of our own self-image, of our individualistic self-interest where equality and oneness is disregarded - this is what maintains the status quo of our one chaotic world.

I'm only interested in what's here, not what my pre-programmed mind wants to see -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to grow up in a system only seeing what I want to see as my individual self-image in separation from physical reality as the system here taught me, instead of what is really here - I have realised in my life that it is this epidemic of individual ideas of reality that keeps this capitalistic system of haves and have nots in place which is evil.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise in every breath, that anytime I am accepting a pre-programmed image projected on top of reality by my ego, then I am not really here, meaning not really alive, but simply existing as a cog in the larger machine wheel of this cold uncaring money system and human existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that this creation of the individual as the highest experience, creates separation as relentless self-interest and competition as the media and money system demands - where through our fucked up thought patterns we insist that something is always missing, something more that as individuals we "must have" in order to be happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that this individual pattern to be this self-fulfilled happiness is copied by children from their parents - then as we get older the system of capitalism takes over the role of parent directing what is right and wrong within the current accepted ways of human life as shown to us through the media.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in every breath that corporations and governments are designed to act like an individual to compete and form alliances, which will then influence individual humans to reach specific conclusions and decisions through implanting projected imagery, images of likeness and dislikeness into every person to control the individual in every way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that all images and the resonant sounds within them are copied and stored in the physical body where images are used to suggest to consumers that the desired image is only possible through acquiring the goods as images or in real format - this intended influence means that no decision or desire is really our own, and clearly concepts like Equality are demonised as they are threats to this influential process of control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that demonising humans that stand up for life and equality is where human action is created where individual humans act as mental soldiers, agents of the matrix  - where the defence of the relationship held with corporations and government is defended at all costs, where any group is attacked that challenges the accepted influences that result in the accepted world where abuse is not an illusionary image but a real picture. But the individual is trained to only accept the image we want to see as real and the real image as illusion - everything is in reverse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the individual in this pursuit of of the self is not seeing that the corporations produce products that are to be consumed by physical reality, while individuals are trained to make happiness from the metaphysical reality, never realising that this gives corporations the monopoly on Earth for real, while the individual human plays monopoly as a fake spiritual imagery in our heads.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that this creation of ourselves through our thought backchat that leads to disregarding reality by defining the world as beautiful pictures, has created humanity as the worst evil beings to ever walk this Earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that all accepted systems on Earth only assists the self-projected image of the mind as being real, without realising that these images are stored in our body to be brought up by symbols in specific environments to keep the human hypnotised as the best slave possible.

I commit myself to living the realisation and showing that it is the idea of living as individuals seeing what we want to see as imagery we project onto physical reality that keeps us enslaved and unable to to see reality for what it really is and thus disempowered to formulating solutions to ending abuse and creating what's best for all life.

I commit myself to to show how self-talk of the individual is the result of memories implanted to guide the conversation to decisions that benefit the corporations and the individual profit of the super wealthy.

I commit myself to show that this world of individuals as it exits snow, is a self-created entity formed from an evil voice in the head that can be trapped and neutralised through self-honest self-forgiveness in writing, where I stand to support only the physical world to become a world that is truly best for all life.