Day 358: The Messiah saves us all

What do you see when you look at majority of Hollywood films made throughout time to this day? Messages of a messianic figure prophesied to save us all from the shit we created. What do you see when you look at religion throughout time to this day? Messages of the messiah.

It's fascinating how throughout human history we have had an incessant desire and belief that a great saviour will always eventually come to save the world.

Now in 2019 as I sit here writing with a random film in the background called "Seventh Son" It is making me laugh because I see nothing but messianic messages in this film still being pumped into humanity.

Then I see how this system that supports this messianic message, has affected my own mind growing up where I have fucked myself up many times with messianic ideologies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise how many humans in fact believe themselves to be the Messiah returned, some sort of prophesied hero to save humanity from apocalypse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that those that think they are a Messiah in anyway, are in fact just giant Egos trying to change others before changing themselves which is never best for all as it is just a self-interested ego trip.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe at times growing up that I am some kind of prophetic figure born in this world to do "special work" which as it turns out seems to be a problem many humans have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise how many people actually believe themselves to be the one here to save humanity from doom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that films and media has been designed to keep messianic messages cycling through consumer minds, which I realise causes an apathy within people where they don't see the point in changing as "The Messiah" will come one day and fix everything for us all, which is bullshit in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to films and media growing up, adding layers to an idea of me being some kind of special messiah.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a great saviour to come along and save me and all humans from our own shit, so that I don't have to take self-responsibility for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be apathetic about changing at times, because of believing that things will work out by themselves through messianic ideas, so i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't need to do anything to make a better world because a great Messiah will come oneday to fix all of us humans, which or course is not true.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto memories growing up of how I was given the name Marley, which essentially was a demand from a witchdoctor, who spoke to my mother before I was born as if was some prophet to come, even elaborating a story to my mother of the future she could see for me, which I then allowed to fuck up my ego growing up where i defined myself as a "special one".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a special one growing up, destined for a great journey.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that Religion was created as a trap to keep consumers locked in an endless search for salvation to make sure that there is no competition for control of resources on Earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that spirituality is simply an outflow of consumerism, to distract people with "self peace" creating a populace that will not question the better life of the super wealthy, because the spiritual will focus on a better life after death, which makes sure that the status quo continues as it does as a world of haves and have nots.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that this mess of messiahs and corruption on Earth has created a humanity that only cares about their own self-healing, delving deeper into their own individual "inner god" as ego as self-interest, accepting the mess that is on Earth and not caring to take care of all life on Earth equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that it was actually critical in the design of consumerism to get personal effort to be subject to the idea of an invisible god to which all success is attributed, so that people accept self-interest as a right of the sinner without feeling guilty as the messiah will come to provide a divine force to save us all from ourselves which is impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that the system of charity in this world is very much fucked within this same Messiah point - where humanity believes it is acceptable to play the Messiah saviour over those less fortunate, to make ourselves feel better about the self-interested consumerism we live as, without realising that it is this very system of Messianic charities that continue the money system of haves and have nots, creating an endless cycle of rich and poor, which i will never accept.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the biggest new religion is that of the "divine self" as the pursuit of happiness in ever evolving consumerism. believing that this divine self is evolving in the face of a deteriorating mess on Earth as increased rape, war and starvation.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to ever believe that me or any human in this world has some kind of prophetic, messianic importance, because in reality we are all equal as life, it is only through our unified efforts that we will save our species from certain destruction, so as and when i see my mind having thoughts come up of messianic ideas, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to participate, I realise in this moment the trap my pre-programmed mind is trying to play, so I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to support people to realise that only through individual and unified self-responsibility in changing the nature of the human will change become physically manifest on Earth.

I commit myself to showing that Messiahs are in fact giant Egos believing they are the one that can change the world before changing themselves which does not work.

I commit myself to showing how the god consciousness is the evolution of the ego where individuals can exist in an internal delusion of godhood with nmo practical solutions to bring about what's best for all life.

I commit myself to show that anyone with voices in their head, or a messiah complex is a danger to themselves and anyone around them and therefore should be referred for mental health support in solution until they face the dangerous inner reality they have created which if not changed can result in violence and abuse in the world.

I commit myself to show that all divinity and spirituality is in essence, design and application just another branch of consumerism that does not care for all life, as it only serves unique self-interest.

Day 357: Pain

It's interesting how one can allow the mind to believe it is impervious to pain, while in physical reality nobody is impervious to pain. We all have various athletic capacities and durability, but everybody has there pain threshold that they cannot go beyond to be fully functional.

When our pain threshold is breached, then our ability to focus here on anything else essentially goes out of the window, pain is all encompassing and you are helpless to it, enslaved to it until the pain is physically supported and healed.

I have been reminded of that with two moments this month, a decaying wisdom tooth at the back of my mouth that requires removal and on Friday night there was a very high jump off a subway which caused me to sprain my ankle badly even though i kept running pretending i wasn't hurt in the moment.

Both these events have shown me that regardless of what my ego says, pain can affect me like anybody else. I have noticed how I have allowed my athleticism and mental toughness to cloud my understanding of this fact, that I will always be ok and no fear of pain or pain itself can stop me from acquiring my target and completing my mission.

The reality is of course that if i had dealt with my wisdom tooth earlier on the pain would be less right now and if i didn't jump off that subway like the little spiderman ninja I define myself as, then my ankle would be fine and I wouldn't be hobbling around like I have been the past few days.

This pattern of thinking pain cannot afflict me, paying no attention to the consequence of my actions on my physical body is unacceptable and must be stopped in order for me to live what is bets for all life -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that physical pain cannot affect me, that i have no threshold that i cannot go beyond to complete my objective. In reality I realise this is a complete delusion of my pre-programmed mind a pattern in separation from physical reality, because in self-honesty here, I have a pain threshold i cannot go beyond to function effectively like anybody else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being impervious to pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of times in my life when people, or events in life have tried to physically hurt me and I have always been tough enough to get through it to get the job done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as weak if i fear pain or cant handle pain, when in actual fact fear of pain can be a support as it can be realigned to common sense to look after the body, to avoid unnecessary harm to the body which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that I have reacted to my body's natural athleticism and toughness and used this as a justification as to have no care about the consequence of pain on my body in any situation, which is reckless and self-sabotaging, which is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as some kind of spiderman ninja that is never off balance or acknowledging of pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react every time someone comments on my speed, strength or durability as another layer on this character which believes he is impervious to pain when he is not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exaggerate my physical capabilities and limitations within and as my pre-programmed mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget how debilitating pain can be when it hits you hard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that my idea of myself is an ant in the face of physical existence, my body no matter how it is designed, no matter how i think or feel about it must be looked after, I can never afford to underestimate how quickly physical reality can remind me of my bodies limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that when pain comes, i can focus on nothing else - my ability to do anything effectively is severely compromised as the pain overrides my focus, thus one must always respect pains power and not throw caution to the wind about the consequences of pain on my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepte and allowed myself not to realise that ignoring pain, disrespecting pain is a major problem humanity has as to why so many suffer in pain everyday and nobody speaks up for these people. We believe that you should just deal with pain yourself and you can "take anything" when this has always been based in separation to keep the status quo in place where we are all slave sto a system of haves and have nots.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to disregard [ain ever again, so as and when i see my mind having thoughts that the consequence of pain to my body is irrelevant i stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage with these thoughts as in doing so would only put my body in situations of receiving unnecessary physical pain, so i continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that pain is a real part of this world that is able to affect anyone's life at anytime, which is why pain must be respected and so bringing pain onto ourselves through pre-programmed behavioural patterns makes no sense as it is just self-sabotage.

I commit myself to making sure i expose this system of ignoring pain in this world that allows for billions to suffer in painful silence while humanity does nothing.  

Day 356: Demons running riot part 2

Continuing from my last blog -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in recent years when this energy system of wildness around Halloween is coming up and possessing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in every breath that a world where demonic behaviour runs riot is not a world that is needed to be continued as it only causes harm to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of depression around my grandfather and Bernards death in a short period of time as justifications for allowing demonic behaviour as wild partying when there is an excuse too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a pattern of sadness about important people to me being taken by death and using that as an excuse to fall in love so to speak with anything that reminds me of the darkness of death such as Halloween.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do too much alcohol and drugs when this wildness character takes hold of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the word Halloween as automatically meaning party, where every responsibility I have is disregarded, which is unacceptable abuse so I must stop participation with this pattern as it is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that damaging my body when there is work to be done or at any time is never acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard work and even sleep as this demon running riot character which again only causes damaging consequences to my life which is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that this very point im allowing of finding excuses to disregard my responsibilities and focus on my own selfish warped energetic happiness is the exact problem that has caused the world to be the way it is now, where so many suffer in silence because me and all us elite humans are ignoring reality in favour of our wild partying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this "dark knight" where I always wear black, watch a lot of sad films, listen to a lot of sad music and desire to be around things that remind me of the darkness of death, which is just separation and thus not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to to be around things that remind me of death  and how crazy this world is such as Halloween.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that having some fun from a starting point of what's best for all in physical reality, is completely different from having fun from a starting point of a self-interested energy system in separation from physical reality.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to become this wildness at halloween character in future, as it does not support me to live what's best for all - so as and when I see my mind shifting having thoughts coming up I stop and breathe, I realise the dangers of participation with these thoughts, so I continue to breathe, until there is no more thoughts coming up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that when I am having fun from a clear starting point, I am not damaging my body and while I smile and laugh I still remain aware of and look after my responsibilities and health.

Day 355: Demons running riot

What do you see at Halloween? People dressing up like Demons running around going wild on sugar for kids and often alcohol and/or drugs for adults. Then we see how in the world humanity has allowed an increase in demonic behaviour to sabotage ourselves and our world.

Interesting I notice that in recent years, I always end up having a crazy night on Halloween, where I desire to be in the most Demonic Halloween setting, like the more serious the group of people take Halloween the more I want to be there and have a wild party of some kind, like Halloween stands in my mind as the best holiday to show the craziness of us humans and our lives.

Now in previous years I never really celebrated Halloween much, nor many holidays really - but when i look closer I see a pattern that developed some years ago around 2013, it was in October when my grandad died not long after Bernard died - I don't think I had ever felt so fatherless and confused about what i'm supposed to do in my life before i die.

I remember feeling like the most important people to me were slowly being pulled away, taken to some place beyond the darkness of death where I can no longer be with them. I wanted excuses to forget about life so to speak.

I have always been known for not being easily shaken about death, but after my grandad and bernard died in a short period this new level of ghostliness about death came up within me, I started desiring just being around things that remind me of death, staring harder than usual when i drive past a cemetery, watching films with a dark tragic story, listening to sad music very often, wearing more black than ever before, this sort of love affair with sadness about life/death developed, and going wild on Halloween became another outlet, an excuse to exist as energy in self-interest.

This past weekend despite having work to do in the morning, my mind shifted and i went out dressed up with some friends as demons, I was V - we went to a huge Halloween party and played lots of games, made new friends, danced around to music and got really drunk.

I didn't actually sleep that night and as it got to around 9am, while the party was still going on, some people were passed out around the house, I just had a realisation about why I am always so set about partying so hard particularly on Halloween, I see the energy system that comes up every year at halloween. I went to leave despite some people asking me to stay and skip work. 

As I walked home with a pounding headache, my clothes were disheveled and my ability to work for the rest of the day was compromised and ineffective. On any other day of the year when I know I have work the next day, I would never party like that.

I asked myself during the day - was that worth it? Now while it was a fun party and cool to meet new people, I know that many of them likely won't remember much of what happened due to drugs and alcohol - so it was clear to me that no it was not really worth it, so why am I letting myself be directed by this energy system desiring wildness at Halloween?

Having fun at Halloween from a clear starting point of what's best for all is totally different to going wild from a starting point of separation in self-interest as energy.

So I make note of this event, I take on the ending of this self-sabotaging system where i can physically walk out the pattern via self-forgiveness - As i see that I am the beginning and ending of this, so only me here as this breath can transcend this pattern which diminishes my awareness - I stop so that next halloween I live what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as an energy system of  wildness on halloween, where I will disregard responsibilities and my bodies well being just to have a crazy party where I dress as a demon, with others dressed as demons feeding into demonic behaviour with each other. 

Join me next time as I continue.