Day 302: Where have you been all my life Part 2

When people leave our life for one reason or another, it is possible that you will never see that person again in this lifetime - yet it is also possible that this person will reemerge into your life again in a  future situation.

When these people from the past come back into my life, I have noticed a pattern of this paranoid over thinking, this curious desperation to understand the meaning why they have come back into my life.

This process is not needed as it does not assist me or the person who comes back into my life in living what is best for all life -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react as this paranoid over thinking when multiple people from my past emerged in one day recently. I realise that this thinking only limits me in separation from physical reality here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react more throughout the day as this mixture of uncertain happiness and fear at each person from the past that came into my life again on this one day.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to keep myself trapped in my mind for the majority of the day as this curious anxiety and desperation to understand the meaning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that some of these people from the past are here again to try to destroy me, when nothing any one of the people who came back into my life on this day did, should have led me to fear this in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that some of these people from the past or the new person who emerged in amongst the past are here to save me in someway, when there is no such thing as any saviour, I am responsible for myself always.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a polarity friction through charging different people with a negative or positive charge in my mind - expecting something good or something bad to happen as a result of these people from the past coming in one day and this new person emerging -  I realise there is no good or bad in anything, there can only be learning but only if I am here breathing as life clear where I then use common sense to truly hear, to support and learn according to whats best for all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be physically more rigid in fear when seeing a person I ended on bad terms with, in contrast to being loose and happy when I see someone I ended on good terms with, this separation is not needed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to physically react differently when I see different people from the past, when In reality remaining here as breathe being loose as the movement of life is always going to be better for all life then shifting in my mind and physically based on who I'm seeing which makes no sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for meaning, to try and create value in my mind, when in reality reaching to look for something that isn't here, is purely my ego fucking with me, believing that there "must be" some special meaning to this event.

I forgive myself for believing that there is some special meaning to these people coming back into my life, that will be something good or bad -  I realise that while these people coming on one day of course will be no accident because there is no accidents that exist here, the meaning itself is not be good or bad, special or not special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto different ideas about people from the past which only keeps me in separation whenever they comeback into my life, so I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself in all moments to see all people equal as life here.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that it is always possible someone from my past will turn up in my life again, that does not mean I need to react about it, to let this certainty control me in the moment - so I take self-responsibility to remain here as breathe when I see the past coming back round again.

I forgive myself for not realising that seeing people from the past is a great chance to see the analogy here that it is the same as when some pattern in my pre-programmed mind is replaying out again, breathe is the key to stop any re-occurrence of the past, so I can apply common sense and do what is best for all life here.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to experience more paranoid curiosity when a new person came into my life on this day where many people, that something good or bad is going to happen with this person, which again is simply my ego trying to keep me in separation of myself which is not acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself as feeling unprepared when these people from the past emerged the other day, because what would it even mean to be "prepared" to see these people from the past? I realise there is no preparation that exists in relation to this, there is only remaining stable as this breathe.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here breathe that this idea of being prepared or unprepared to see someone from the past is purely my ego trying to defend itself - so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the ego as the belief that I can be prepared or unprepared to see someone from the past, when in fact when I am breathing here that is the only preparation and course of action that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a deep meaning that is behind why these people have arrived in my life again.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that it is a pre-programmed pattern when something unexpected happens in my life to overthink the meaning and accept desiring a deep answer in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste hours trying to figure out this "deep meaning", when in reality, as I keep myself here as this breathe  - the physical feedback is clear that all these people from the past have changed many things but all still had things from the past holding them back here.

I forgive myself that I did not allow myself as breathe to immediately realise that all these intersections of the past changing with still much holding them back, is a simple reminder that I still have things from my past in my mind holding me back from living my truest potential here.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to react as paranoid, curious, desperate for deep meaning thoughts in the mind, so whenever I see the past brought back before me here - as and when I see my mind having thoughts come up, I stop and breathe, I do not allow my mind to participate with these thoughts as I know this will only keep me in separation and continue the pattern, so I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that anyone or anything from the past can come back into my life at any time, it is to be expected on a planet where I have travelled to many places and interacted with many beings in this world in this one physical reality we all share - all that matters is that I am not reacting in my mind to these reemergence's, that I remain stable as breathe where I assist myself and all life in living what is best for all life.

Day 301: Where have you been all my life?

Do you ever have a day where you bump into people places or things that bring up memories of the past? For me just yesterday it was a unique day in that I bumped into 4 people who I have not seen for years, all from various points of my life and all who had impacts on my life in various ways.

I cannot remember a day which was so surreal in terms of this regurgitation of people from the past for a very long time if ever. So my excitement was growing throughout the day, as I felt that some sort of meaning was coming through within these people reemerging into my life on one specific day.

When a friendship ends due to a disagreement, to moving to different cities/countries, to work, to family or psychological  issues etc. Whatever it may be, we have fond memories of some people and not so fond memories of others - so you know that feeling when you see someone who you really missed who you haven't seen in ages? Its like an over-spilling of joy right? But also when you see someone who you are glad disappeared from your life, you get an uncomfortable experience, a wishing and hoping that they don't see you, a knot in your stomach, a purposeful avoidance to acknowledge the person.

I had all these kinds of reunions happen yesterday, from the good the bad and the ugly - It was a day that reminded me that you really never know who, when or where but people from our past will just pop up again seemingly out of nowhere.

But it is not out of nowhere upon further investigation, because each of these people I have thought about since seeing them last and knew that perhaps one day I would cross paths with them again.

Then out of all these meetings of people from the past in one day, there was an interaction with a new person who had a profound impact on me, which perhaps had something to do with all of these people from the past culminating into yesterday.

By the time I went to bed that day, my mind was racing trying to configure why all these people appeared throughout the day and such a seemingly strong new friendship was built in the same day - I felt totally unprepared, that too many people were appearing too quickly.

A sense of curious paranoia has been swirling around in my mind since yesterday, a wanting to see a reason, a desperation to find out what this means.

Over thinking when something strange or unexpected happens in my life is something that I have done many times in my life before, for various reasons.

Its a pattern, when in reality there is no need to go into any deep thought patterns about these events when they occur - but to instead just see clearly if there is something which requires direction here, some new learning that can occur from this.

Perhaps for instance life is showing me that there is something in my past that I have not yet resolved here? Something about my past that I still need to learn about and align here.

What I also noticed is that everyone I saw from my past yesterday seems to have changed many things in their life, but some things have remained exactly the same  - perhaps this speaks to some new levels to learning in my life, that I am in the process of walking, or is yet to come.

Perhaps because all of these people have changed a lot but still have certain things holding them back, then maybe there are things from the past that I must learn to change in order to not hold me back in the present and perhaps this new person in amongst these people from the past will assist me in this, or has some part in this moving forward.

I know its connected, there is no accidents here this was pre-programmed to go down exactly the way it did - yet I have no time to waste in over thinking about this.

In fact I take self-responsibility here to not allow my mind to freak out with this curious overthinking paranoia whenever many people from the past intersect in my life on one day again in the future, because it does not assist me in living what is best for all life.

So join me next time as I continue this point as I walk my journey to life here. 

Day 300: Win or Learn Part 2

So continuing from my previous post, loss, failure is inevitable it is an inevitability which is where we are provided the opportunity to see the errors of judgement we are making so we can reset or physical movement to get to our goal through this falling and standing back up process.

I will not allow myself to accept a pattern of believing I can remain separate from failures -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at times believe that my path to success in anything must be straight to the goal when in fact this is just my ego projecting

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as the ego trying to defend itself through the believe that unless I have straight line to success then I am a failure and will remain a failure, which is not real and only limitation that keeps me in separation from physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here breathe that failures are a part of me just as much as victories, because its is through trial and error that we get to any target completion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to separate myself from failures, which only keeps me in separation of myself, which is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that it truly is through failing that we can see how to avoid this failure in the future and get to our success.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge success and failures with positive and negative polarities in my mind, where i define success as positive and failure as negative feeding into the pre-programming of capitalism that is here.

I forgive myself for defining success as positive and failures as negative, because I see and understand now that neither is positive or negative, success is simply the inevitability of not allowing failures to deter me, just continuing and learning through failures.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and understand that success and failure is merely the process of a means to an end.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself at times to be annoyed with myself when success in anything doesn't happen immediately upon a first attempt, which I realise is just my pre-programmed ego fucking with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a failure when I do not meet my intended goal immediately first time in anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a failure for good in any undertaking when I do not achieve the results I want at the first time of asking, when in reality if I go straight to success in anything, it can only be from seeing other people fail first and learning from their mistakes to assist myself to go straight to success - If i have not failed on the way to success, I must have seen other people fail.

I forgive myself for not realising that anything that I succeed in immediate, is only because I already have the vocabulary, the communication, the intent, the bravery, the direct knowledge and relationship building skills necessary to make a success the first time around.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear that once I fail once in anything, that I will continue to fail, which demotivates me to actually learn from these failures, which keeps me trapped within and as failure, which does not assist me in living whats best for all life, so I stop this here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too hard on myself very often, when expecting great things is fine, but it does not support me in living whats best for all to be overly hard on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get annoyed that my ability to use the law of attraction especially in sales doesn't always give me what I want immediately here now, when I realise that using the law of attraction works through bringing people, situations and events into my life, but it will not then do everything for me, I must have the vocabulary, the physical movement and ability to build relationships in order to take full advantage of any person, event or thing that I have magnetised into my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not understand in all moments that only the greatest failures inevitably become the greatest successes if they learn and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise in every moment that I do not know what I do not know - meaning it is exciting when a failure happens, because one cannot know what profound learning to get to success can be achieved from this apparent failure.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see and realise in every moment that if i want something to change in my life, then i have to change things in my life, because doing the same thing over and over again with the same failing results is a form of madness.

I forgive myself for not realising in every moment that it is more effective in life to be willing to get to victory through failure, to be brave enough to fail, to not be afraid to experience the extremes of success and failure, because most humans are pre-programmed to live in and as a Gray space where everything is safe and where the true fruits of victory and failure are never experienced.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realise in every moment that any success or any failure is not the end result at any point, because we can only ever see our goal and when we get there we can see further, learning and growing never stops unless we stop ourselves - we must go to the stars and then beyond them.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to believe that everything must always be a straight line to success, because that is just not often possible in life, every greatest scientist for example never created an invention without going through the process of trial and error, unless that process of trial and error was already given to them before they started - so as and when I see my mind having thoughts about expecting immediate success without any failures, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage with these thoughts as I realise these thoughts are from my ego, that the process of trying to separate myself from failures only keeps me trapped within and as the pre-programmed mind where I set myself up to fail more then succeed. So I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to define success and failures as positive and negative as I see the trap this creates for myself as this capitalistic money system, so as and when I see my mind judging and defining myself as a failure or a success in anything, I stop and breathe - I realise that in life there is only learning, trial and error neither success nor failure are more or less then each other, they are simply two sides of the same coin equal and one. So I breathe and continue to breathe here as the breathe of life as who I really am, until transcendence has occurred and these definitions no longer exist

I commit myself to not allowing myself to believe that if I succeed or fail in anything, that I plateau - that I stay as the success or the failure in anything automatically, when in fact a success can be turned into a failure through not continuing to grow past the first success - and believing that I will stay as a failure in anything merely guarantees that I will stay as a failure in that thing - so as and when I see my mind believe I am stuck, that I am solidified as the success or the failure with nothing more to learn, then i stop and breathe, I do not allow my mind to engage with these kinds of thoughts because they are destructive, I breathe and keep breathing until these beliefs are no more.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to fear being trapped in continual failure when I fail in something, I realise that this concept is counter productive to success and living whats best for all,so whenever I see my mind doing this I stop, breathe here as life and keep this breathe stable no matter how many times this fear comes up, until eventually this fear is no more

I commit myself to living the realisation that failure and success are a part of each other, that if I have not failed in something to learn from this mistakes and get to success, then I have observed others go through the trial and error for me to go more straight to success - either way all is one and equal here and learning and growth must never stop at any point of success or failure.

Day 299: Win or Learn

You've probably heard this saying before from any number of people, gurus, intellectuals, philosophers in various fields - but in life when we win at things we feel like a genius from the satisfaction of the completion of our aim and intent.

Then of course when we lose in life at anything, we always initially feel stupid, naive, confused and regret our decisions. It can seem in these moments that you just want the world to swallow you up, that things really couldn't get any worse.

But in reality there is no escape from what we allow and no matter how bad things get, things really could be worse and could be better always -  it is through failure that we learn the path to success, there really is no such thing as losing, because if your not winning then that means you are still learning the path to victory. So lets look at the words of  a few famous people in history in relation to this -

• Winston Churchil: "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
  
• Theodore Roosevelt: "Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure...than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
  
• Conor McGregor: "I'm not going to get somewhere and say, 'Ok, I'm done.' Success is never final; I'll just keep on going. The same way as failure never being fatal. Just keep going. I'm going to the stars and then past them." 

All of these quotes highlight crucial points to remember about success and failure, so starting with the first one - if you have ever trained martial arts for instance, there is no straight line to becoming a black belt. You have to get beaten repeatedly in training and keep your enthusiasm to succeed and become the actual black belt.

Second quote really highlights that its always best to dream big, to get to victory by walking a tough road full of failures - because most people in life try to "play it safe" which results in a mundane life where the fruits of real success and real failure are never experienced. If you look at the structure of capitalism you can see that the middle class is mainly comprised of people who live in this "gray twilight" that Roosevelt was speaking about.

The last one comes from a fighter who has made a lot of money but still faces more failures, like last night when he lost an MMA fight. But Conor is highlighting well in this quote that there is no end result to success or failure, when you reach your goal, or you fail, either way you just keep going, just keep climbing to the next pinnacle, learning in life never ceases as long as you keep moving yourself.

This past week I have faced multiple failures myself and these quotes among others have assisted me a lot to learn from these failures, because I have never had a straight line to success in anything I have ever achieved, but its funny how our brainwashed minds expects a straight line at times.

One of my respected mentors in life has been telling me a lot recently that I must become one of the greatest failures in life, so that I can learn to become one of the greatest successes.

I will be correcting the thought patterns, the pre-programmes that I have accepted and allowed which have resulted in these failures happening because everything comes back to myself here and there is no sense in repeating the same mistakes without learning from these failures and changing myself.

Join me next time as I continue to walk my journey to life here.