Day 18: Jealousy

So I’m looking here at jealousy that came up today, and has come up many times in my life where I have allowed my participation to be dictated by jealousy, where I continually mentally stab a person, and desire to see them come to some nasty demise, to lose whatever item or person I see they have in their life which I desire. I do not allow myself to be directed by jealousy. I take self-responsibility to face and eliminate this fear through continual self-corrective application. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience jealousy within and as me towards others that I see have something that I don’t have and I want to have, where I then justify mentally stabbing the person as Jealousy without realizing that in a capitalist money system of haves and have not’s there is always someone that will have more money than me, so I should expect others to have more than me the same way I have more than many others, thus reacting to others experiencing jealousy is not necessary and unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify experiencing myself as jealous towards others that have something I don’t because in my mind I’m blaming this person for my own experience of jealousy, as if it’s their fault that I’m getting jealous when in actual fact in self honesty it is my responsibility what I experience, to blame someone else for my reactions is nothing but ego in complete dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that by allowing myself to experience myself as jealous; I am unconsciously charging the jealousy of all other humans mind consciousness systems where I’m saying that it is ok for everyone to be jealous of each other.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that by allowing myself to experience myself as jealous, I am essentially saying that I am of less than another, and that by having something that someone else has then I will enjoy my life more in some way which is a state of insanity because all that I am as life here as this breathe which I am unable to see within experiencing myself as jealous.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my mind that it is ok to experience jealousy towards a person when I see they are rich with a lot of luxury in their lives, when in fact whether a person is rich or poor is irrelevant, thinking harmful shit about other humans is not acceptable. 

I forgive myself that I have not realised that when I experience jealousy, I am actually competing with this person on a mental plain, which is because i have been conditioned growing up to believe that I must compete, that only a winner Is “good enough” and that being a loser is unacceptable, and in self-honesty I often experience myself as a loser when I see that someone has something I don’t have which I desire, then I want to compete with them, which is war. Unacceptable shit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mentally plot and scheme ways in which a person that has something I want can be broken down, and lose everything they have in an instant, as if I’m playing a movie of this persons demise in my head which is nasty unacceptable shit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience jealousy when I think, believe or know that a person has more sex then me, where I’m constantly existing as a state of comparison to others which is completely unnecessary, because comparison only exists in my mind and so is not real.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that I experience jealousy that it is pointless to hope for others to lose what I want; because each and every human will lose every item we believe we own at death. I realize that if I have 10 billion pound or 10 pounds it will all be taken from us at death. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that a person is “bad” because they have an item that I am desiring when in actual fact the person is not “bad” at all because “good bad” polarity only exists in the mind, and this believe that this person is “bad” for having something I want is actually only revealing that I have an obsessive desire with something I see this person has and thus I must find the route desire and remove the value through effective self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that an experience of jealousy I have in any moment is actually revealing my own desires and that I must take self-responsibility to end my desire, by removing the value I have allowed to be built up in the particular point. 

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that I experience jealousy that I am feeding into and existing as a system that abuses life, so no matter what justification my mind comes up with for existing as jealousy it is all abuse of life. I do not allow my mind to dictate my daily participation here.

 I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment of breath that within saying that my internal experiences is the responsibility of others, I am just saying that I am a slave to others, where I create someone else as god of my experiences in my mind which is complete bullshit, because what I experience within and as me is always my own responsibility never anybody else’s.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have nasty thoughts about others within experiencing jealousy, where I’m basically internally praying for this person to be harmed in some way so I can take some sick enjoyment from seeing this person suffer that has something which I believe I need, when I do not need this thing to exist here at all, so to have nasty thoughts about others is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience jealousy whenever I see that a person has a relationship which in my mind looks “good” whether it is a partner or a family member, or a friend that I see them with. When in actual fact there is no such thing as a “good” relationship that is just my mind revealing a polarized perspective of what I desire, which must be stopped.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that experiencing jealousy is ok if It seems from my perspective that the person is showing off something they have, when in actual fact it is never acceptable to experience jealousy within and as my pre-programmed mind. 

I forgive myself that I have not realised that thinking shit about others is not really thinking shit about someone else, because we are all equal as the physical, so each person is a reflection of me as the physical, thus when I believe I’m  thinking shit about others I’m actually thinking shit about myself as a form of self-destruction.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here moment of breathe that by feeding into and existing as jealousy, I am actually feeding into and existing as war, and it is best for all to end all form of war in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attack others in my mind, as a state of war, feeding energy for myself as a pre-programmed robotic zombie of consciousness, which is abusive to life.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here moment of breath, that there is nothing physically constructive that can come from allowing myself to exist as jealousy in my mind, because the physical consequence of participation with thoughts based in jealousy is guaranteed to cause physical destruction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the energy of jealousy, where I’m essentially enjoying having war like thoughts towards others, mentally stabbing others repeatedly in silence in my mind believing that the starting point of this addiction is something real where I can find a way to justify attacking others as ego, when in fact in self honesty the starting point of any addiction is within and as consciousness which is not real.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to exist as jealousy as I realise that jealousy is only existing in my mind as a state of consciousness and so is not real, and I do not accept myself to exist as an illusion, I only accept physical reality as myself in self-honesty.

I commit myself to walking out of a system of abuse into and as a system that is best for all life, because I realize that jealousy is a system of abuse, a system that I have accepted and allowed to generate energy, to dominate and dictate decision making in many situations in my life. I realize that anything I do from a starting point of jealousy will be in complete separation of myself, so I stop now.    

I commit myself to living the realization that in order to actually exist in the physical in every moment there must be no jealousy that exists, because jealousy is of the metaphysical, it’s not real, jealousy is simply mental war, as a starting point for actual physical war thus is complete dishonest abuse of life which must end.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to compete with others in my mind, I see that I’m only competing because I want to win, because i have been conditioned growing up to believe that only being a winner Is acceptable and that being a loser is unacceptable, and I experience myself as a loser when I see that someone has something I don’t have which I desire, which I believe will make me feel “more comfortable” which in actual fact would be a false comfort dependent upon something outside of myself. So I take self-responsibility to correct my desires and any starting point that leads to a consequence of jealousy.

I commit myself to understanding that jealousy and any reactions and experiences I have in my mind are my responsibility completely, it is never the responsibility of others, it is simply ego to say it is, also within saying my responsibility is others I am saying I am a slave to others, when in fact else can enslave me, it is only me that can enslave myself.

I commit myself to sticking to breathe when any reactions/experiences of jealousy come up in any moment; I commit myself to not accepting and allowing jealousy in myself or others in this world that I see existing as the point, because it is best for all to live in a world where jealousy does not exist. I do not allow myself to unconsciously charge the jealousy experiences of each and every human in this world. I accept nothing less than self-honesty as myself where I stand as the directive principle of what’s best for all existing within and as the physical here, where no mental wanking as jealousy can exist.

Journey to Life Day 17: "Watch the suit!" Fearing the dirt I walk on.

I have always enjoyed working with my hands, and getting dirty, however i reacted in fear today about my suit nearly getting dirty, which was interesting because it revealed that i still have points to correct in relation to fearing dirt, as i could clearly see today i become unstable in certain situations about the possiblity of getting dirty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting dirt on me without realizing that it is unnecessary to fear dirt, because I am equal as the dust of the earth because my body is made up of what’s here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting dirt on my new suit and to justify this fear through an Idea that this is my “favourite suit”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that one suit has more value then another, and to then justify fearing this favourite suit getting dirty, because in actual fact all suits are exactly the same in their function.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have more fear of my clothes getting dirty according to the cost of the clothing, without realizing that all clothing is equal as clothing thus there is no need to create a mental relationship to certain clothing that’s expensive, and no need to fear any clothing getting dirty because every piece of clothing gets dirty eventually.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that all clothes get dirty at some point, so there is no point in getting concerned about trying to “protect” my new clothing from getting dirty, because it will inevitably get dirty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only fear dirt according to the cost of the clothes I have on as if it’s a justified time to fear dirt, when in fact there is never a justification for a reaction of fear.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my fear that i could get dirt on my suit is justified and likely to happen just because im fearing it, without realising that it is not my fears that dictate whether or not dirt will get on me, because while my mind is claiming to know when i will get dirty, when i should be fearing dirt on me, in actual fact there is physical factors which influence whether i get dirt on me, which my mind cant equate - wind, rain, pollution, tripping over, accidently bumping into somebody etc which i cannot avoid in anyway.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by fearing dirt getting on my suit that i am more likely to be able to stop it from happening, that i can protect myself through existing and feeding this fear. But in actual fact the opposite of that is true because everything here is in reverse, thus by fearing something i am actually giving that something energy and it is thus more likely to actually manifest because im fearing it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame the dirt for my fear as a state of ego, which is unnacceptable because my own fear is my responsibility purely, i am the designer and thus it is up to me to change the design of myself .  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to dirty clothing, I realise that this connection is completely unnecessary as it is just based in separation only existing in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the physical within allowing this fear of dirt to still exist, when the physical is who I am really, not a fear. This fear only exists in my mind, and I only allow myself to become this fear through my participation within and as the fear. I stop now. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this fear of dirt, when this is only happening through my allowance, I do not accept this as myself to continue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will be poisoned  in some way by getting dirty, when in fact it is manmade chemicals that will poison me and harm me much more.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that animals roll around in dirt all the time and rarely get ill from doing that, and although animals have slightly different bodily functions to humans a simple test can be done  - eat a mouthful of dirt, what’s the effects? Not much. Drink a kitchen spray “cleaning” product and I will be rushed to hospital with possible massive organ damage and knock on side effects from the dangerous chemicals unnecessarily put in these products.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my mind that “I have the right to try and stay clean” which is simply me fucking myself as ego and an idea of myself which is not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a polarity to something clean and something dirty – clean being defined as “good” and dirty being defined as “bad”, when in fact this is an unnecessary mental relationship in my mind super-posing onto the actuality of what’s physically here. 

I forgive myself that I have not realised that by fearing dirt and defining dirt as bad and clean as good, I am actually unconsciously charging everything that exists here for others to also continue fearing dirt and defining it as bad, when in fact there is no “good” or “bad” there is only what’s here physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to unconsciously believe in my mind that humans are above the dirt of the earth as gods higher then what’s here, and that the dirt of the earth is below humans just for the beasts to live in. Without realising animals, plants, humans are all equal as life, there is no body “higher” than what’s here, we are all from the dust of the earth, and our bodies will return to the earth when we die.

I commit myself to not allow myself to exist as a fear of the dirt of the earth, because I realise that I am equal as the dirt that I walk on. This physical reality is me; I do not allow anything as myself which is contradictory to this fact in anyway.  

I commit myself to not justify being afraid of dirt just because I have a specific item of clothing on which in my mind I believe is “extra valuable” when in reality no clothing is of more value than any other, expensive or cheap clothes, it’s all just garments to support the body to stay warm and be more comfortable.

I commit myself to no allow myself to generate and perpetuate an idea based in polarity that dirt is bad and clean is good, because I realise there is no such thing as “good” or “bad” in reality, there is only what’s here physically.

I commit myself to not allow myself to believe I am above the dirt in some way, because I have realised that this is simply ego and an idea of myself in my mind which is not actually real and thus I stop participation. We are all from the dirt and will return to the dirt. 

I commit myself to living what is best for all as myself. I accept no less than self-honesty as what’s best for all.  

  

Day 16: Desiring to "enhance" myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a desire to re-create myself into something “more than” the physical body I have, when in actual fact this desire as a want to be more then what’s here as the physical is not actually real it only exists in my mind. Clearly in Self-Honesty we can see that it is never possible to be more then what’s here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within believing that through presenting myself as what society defines as “attractive/perfect” that I am in some way becoming a more “attractive/perfect” person inside, when in self-honesty the opposite of that is happening through the polarity consequence, because I am not living perfection, I am just fucking around in my mind, where within focusing on the positive I only create the negative. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this desire to enhance myself, where I believe my back chat is real, where the consequence is I end up mutilating, abusing my body extensively in order to try and create an image of what is socially accepted as “sexy” and “cool”.

i forgive msyelf that i have not realised that by turning my body into a tool for attracting sex, i am not actually enhacing or changing myself in anyway other then feeding my own ego, existing in separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on making my body as effective at attracting the opposite sex as possible, because I believe I am more likely to get sex if I create a muscle bound image of male authority, without realising that within this I am existing as ego and an idea of myself which is not tangibly real at all, where I’m existing as the hereafter as consciousness, constantly trying to achieve a picture of perfection in my mind, which is separation and thus abusive to life.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that within trying to create myself into an image of sexually attractive perfection, I am actually then saying then my only purpose of existence is sex which is a state of dishonest illusion.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that the want to create a “perfectly” attractive image of myself to others, is actually because I’m trying to cover over the nastiness of how I experience myself inside. It is a way to try and get people, especially females to trust me so that I can abuse them in various ways as a wolf in sheep’s clothing personality.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I know what sexual perfection is, when in fact I have no clue about anything perfect in relation to sex, all I’m doing is seeing what is presented as sexual perfection of the male in society and then copying this presentation as a state of dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire changing my body structure and image to make myself feel better about myself, because I judge my natural body so much, and I have not taken responsibility for the fact that the judgements I have towards myself and others is not actually real, it is only in my mind and it is within applying self-honest, self-forgiveness/corrective application that I am able to actually free myself from judging myself and trying to make myself feel momentarily better.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify the abuse I cause to my body in the search to look “perfect” when I see the results of how my body has changed due to the stress I have caused it. In my mind I say “yep it was all worth it, look at how much better I look” and in this way I am existing as a self-abuser, somebody that has no care for what’s best for their own body, just brainwashed as a concept of making my body “good” as what capitalism says is “good” and trying desperately to avoid the “bad” which is unacceptable mind bullshit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a polarity to physical bodies that I see in my life, on TV, in magazines, where I define athletic/muscular bodies as “good”, and fatter bodies as “bad”, which unconsciously is me feeding into the whole system design of humans desire to “enhance” or rather mutilate their own body through surgery/drugs in order to look athletic/muscular.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that everybody has their own specific body structure, so not everybody has a body design for athletic/muscular construct, and that within believing that everybody should look like a model, I am then saying that everyone should abuse themselves extensively until we all look like clones, and within wasting so much time on image i never consider the bullshit I’m allowing, and thus make no actual effective changes that’s best for all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame someone else for why I’m trying to change the way I look, when how I experience myself inside, how I conduct myself and treat my body is always my responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have the free will to decide to do what I want to my body, without realising that within exercising the free-will I believe I have, I give myself permission to abuse myself, to create the “perfect image” no matter what the cost, no matter how much harm comes to the physical. It is unacceptable spiteful shit.   

I forgive myself that I have not realised that I am privileged with the standard of living I have, there Is no need to want to chase some sick mental masturbation image of creating this “perfect” image at all costs. I realise I am supported effectively so what more could I need? A world that’s best for all is needed, but certainly creating a fashion magazine standard of myself, that’s definitely not needed.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a continuous bubble of self-interest where i focus on my own image being so “perfect” while so many suffer in the world, because the real image of this reality is imperfect, its nasty, so within trying to create perfection just for myself I am actually hiding, existing in fear and self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being in my own skin, fearing myself which is essentially me allowing myself to fear life, which is a fear of death which unconsciously feeds into each and every humans fear of life and death to continue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to live immortally in the physical, to exist in the same body for aeons of time, and to pursue this desire as my primary reason for being as a state of consciousness, thus as a state of pre-programmed illusion no matter the harm which is caused to life along the way, which must then be stopped.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my mind that a person searching for immortality is on the most amazing life journey to pursue possible, when in fact that is complete bullshit, because searching for immortality is delusion, searching for something outside of self from starting point of self-interest, when all that we are is always here and whether we like it or not, we are going to die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear time running out, to fear my life coming to an end, and to then see my life as a quest to reverse the effects of aging in a constant state of fear about my age, comparing myself to others younger then me.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is within my capacity to become more then the physical, when that is not even possible, for thousands of year preaching about something “more than the physical” when in fact still to this day, all that Is real here is the physical, while the metaphysical is not real and is where ewe humans just allow ourselves to deceive ourselves that we know some kind of “special knowledge”, that we can “see beyond” the physical, when this is just consciousness fucking with us because it’s who we allow ourselves to be – an illusion.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that the want to become more then the physical is exactly what religious people do, wanting to become “more than man” in the afterlife which is like saying that I want others to praise me as god where I am in control and domination of others as the position of god as “more than the physical”.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience jealousy towards somebody else because they have something about their body that I desire. I blame the person for my jealousy, when actually it’s my own fault why I’m experiencing this jealousy, it has only happened through my own allowance, which I am able to realise and stop within slowing down as breathe in the moment of experiencing myself as jealous of another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a constant state of comparison with others around me, where I’m weighing up potential sex partners, and weighing up potential threats to my chances of achieving sex. Within this state I am existing as a state of self-deception as the mind, where I cannot even enjoy life, because I’m so busy in my mind judging myself and everybody else. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can turn a blind eye to reality and make my reality beautiful through trying to sculpt myself into the “perfect image” and that I can in some way cheat death through trying to become somebody else famous, when neither is actually possible.    

I forgive myself that I have not realised that while I am spending money and time harming my body to create an image that makes me feel better about myself, there are billions in this world that are being harmed physically daily, and these people are not being harmed  for a mind masturbation, they are being harmed because they have not money.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that my physical body being directly abused is not an acceptable form of entertainment, because abuse is not entertaining it is disgusting bullshit as rape, war, starvation and nature abuse proves.

I commit myself to not allow myself to waste my life in a self-interested pursuit of turning my body into an item of sexual attraction because this is unacceptable abuse to life which is not actually real.

I commit myself to the living of the realization that all of who I am here is this body, is this breath, as life as all that is here equal and one. Anything else that I perceive, believe and define myself as in my mind such as believing I must enhance myself is not actually real but is simply a pre-program.

I commit myself to this process of birthing myself to life, I commit myself to not allow any backchat about mine or other peoples bodies sway me from living what’s best for all.

I commit myself to stopping comparing myself to others in a constant state of judging myself and others so see what’s “good” and “bad” about others, as what I desire and don’t desire about myself and others. 

I commit myself to the realization that any backchat I have come up about my body or other peoples bodies is not actually real, because no matter what reaction I have, the fact of the matter is that I am a flesh and bone being here, and so is this other human, anything about the physical that my mind reacts to is not real.

 I commit myself to the realization that within trying to enhance myself into some kind of super sexually attractive, immortal god-like being I actually just exist as ego and a fear of not being attractive and immortal which is just a fear of dying, and so is is completely unacceptable.

I commit myself to correcting any reactions in my mind or my physicality about my body structure, so that I can experience myself as comfortable as this body, where I then do not compromise my body in the name of trying to beat it into a a model image.

 I commit myself to not allow myself to believe that I can become more then this physical body, more than the physical, because it is not actually possible, and the want to be more then life is simply saying I want to control others which is unacceptable abuse of life. 

I commit myself to not turning a blind eye to reality within supporting such abusive shit as cosmetic surgery, because no matter how “perfect” the image I present myself as is, it does not change that the fact that this world is a very ugly place currently, exactly the same as we humans are inside.

I commit myself to finding a solution to correct the ugliness of this existence to create a world where perfection is an actual living for all. Thus I commit myself to the walking of equal money as equal money is the solution to create heaven on earth as actual perfection.      

Equal Money Ends Cosmetic Mutilation

So I know a few people who are going to have surgery to change something about their body. And i was watching a documentary yesterday about when cosmetic surgery goes wrong and ends up with people getting poisoned by the implant or suffering some kind of long term pain/illness. For example augmentation of breasts, noses, body structures, sexual organs, skin colour all were covered in this documentary. 

What I found to be interesting was that the focus was basically about blaming the government for why there is so much illegal cosmetic surgery that happens, and that the government should offer more funding to stop illegal cosmetic surgery, as well as offering better support for people who have had harmful effects from cosmetic surgery.

Now while it’s true certain governments do allow a lot of illegal cosmetic surgery, which is unacceptable. And obviously is not working to stopping illegal cosmetic surgery, because for instance the demand for augmented actors in the porno industry is high, as well as the pharmaceutical companies profiting from people that are in pain/ill from the effects of illegal cosmetic surgery – people who then become dependent on prescribed medication to handle the pain.

However during this whole documentary though there was very little that was raised about why someone would actually want to have cosmetic surgery? How would this happen in someone’s mind? Where a person actually believes they “need” cosmetic surgery in order to experience themselves as stable internally. And despite the physical mutilation and long term health risks that come with cosmetic surgery, why are there people that are willing to go through with this kind of thing?

As a psychologist accurately pointed out very briefly in this documentary, a person that is considering cosmetic surgery should really have a look at themselves, any unresolved past issues, any childhood traumas or anything that contributed to a self-judgemental, self-loathing view of themselves, where we then grow up believing that we have to enhance ourselves in some way, that we have to look in accordance with what is socially accepted as sexually desirable in order to fit in and experience our self as happy. 

Now this psychologist is right in that he is pointing out that the route cause is inside a person’s mind and is what must first be looked at and corrected, so that the person can stop themselves from even wanting to have surgery, and experience themselves as stable as the body they already have without wanting to enhance it, because surgery will not address the inner experiences which lead the person to abuse their own physical body so extensively in the name of “looking better”, it will just cause another suppression affect. 

Now every person in this documentary that had been affected by health problems in relation to cosmetic surgery, all were trying to blame someone else for why it happened. Some blamed their parents, some blamed school, some blamed media, some blamed there partner for having too many "loving" demands, and all of them blamed the government in some way, and none were willing to take self-responsibility for the fact that it was their own supressed programmed inadequacies that was aroused by cosmetic surgery, and thus it is this programming that really needs to be corrected first. Rather than focusing on something else outside of self-changing.

We can correct the governments deceptions in time by becoming the government and implementing equal money, but realistically we humans have to start realising that we cannot correct anything outside ourselves in accordance with what’s best for all, if we don’t first sort ourselves out, and it is only through self-willed action in self-honesty where real change occurs, real correction which is not dependant on some mental relationship to deceive ourselves that we are changing when we are not.

We have all desired to “look better” at some point in our life, a want to feel socially acceptable by imitating another in some way, constantly comparing to others, trying to create a specific body structure according to what is sold as healthy in the media. Now what is sold as healthy in the fashion industries is not really healthy because a person has to directly abuse and sometimes mutilate their own body to create this so called “healthy body” presented in media, which for women is big tits and tiny waists, and for men it is about getting the biggest muscles and dick to suit. And its complete bullshit, where we allow ourselves to become completely possessed by pulsating thoughts that through our participation cause massive physical harm to the body as this documentary shows.

It’s time to end this shit, this idea about ourselves as having to look a certain way to fit in, a belief that it is “bad” to not focus on how you look, and that through changing your body it will make “positive changes” to ones experience of themselves, which then becomes a justification for mutilating the body.  And then we take on this stance in relation to the whole world, where we justify abuse that’s happening to others, as long as we have our happy feelings in self-interest, completely unaware of the harm we cause with our ignorance. This self-abuse has to end.

In an equal money system it will be cool because cosmetic surgery will be banned for the majority, and will only be considered/allowed for those that for instance are born with a physical impairment at birth, for example a tumour growth on the face, a cleft pallet or other issues people have such as losing a breast from breast cancer. But people who are healthy will certainly not be allowed to harm their bodies in the name of some sick mental masturbation pleasure. And everyone will be supported by the government to focus on correcting their own brainwashing, on letting go of the value placed in cosmetic surgery, in wanting to look more sexually attractive so that eventually everyone on earth can experience themselves as comfortable no matter what they look like.      

Go to the equal money website to learn about a money system that supports all life equally:

equalmoney.org

Day 15: "Everything’s ok?" Self-Deception

So I was watching an episode of madmen the other day, and the main character had a tooth problem that developed in the episode. Then when people kept asking if he’s ok and maybe he should go to the doctor, he kept refusing and denying that anything was wrong, telling everyone that “I will get better” as if miraculously the pain in his tooth would just go away, when physically the tooth was getting worse and worse to the point where he couldn’t even bend down without flinching in pain from his tooth.

And it was only when the pain of his tooth was unbearable and he realised it was getting worse not better as he tried to convince himself of in his mind, it was only at this point that he actually decided to do anything about the tooth by going to the dentist. So it was only after putting himself through unnecessary suffering that he decided to do anything about it.

I found this fascinating, because I have a tooth problem at the moment, and I have existed as this personality many times which is a part of the male ego, where I deny that anything is wrong and simply refuse to show any sign of weakness to anybody, presenting false strength to others, deceiving myself into believing that I will get better by myself when in fact I require some form of physical support to reduce the pain.

Fascinating within this also that when we look at peoples perspectives about all the abuse here on earth, we humans have allowed ourselves to be conditioned with a belief that “things will just get better and magically work themselves out”. For example those that claims spiritual divinity, actually believing that “the power of the mind” has the ability to move the physical reality we all live in. As if we can just focus on a better world magically manifesting in our minds, and then because we are thinking about it, then apparently it will physically manifest, which is a state of insanity.

Very clearly a state of insanity, because the world around us is getting worse in every moment and will continue to do so, until we stop bullshitting ourselves that things are getting better in our minds, when we require immediate practical solutions to end abuse here on earth which start within each and every one of us. Time to stop fucking around in our minds; it’s time to get Self-Honest here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a concept that points of abuse in myself and in the world will miraculously get better by using the “power of the mind”, when in actual fact this is simply a way to distract myself from getting to the root cause of the problems here and formulating/living real workable solutions that are of benefit to everyone.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that by believing that I can “think myself better” when points of pain happen in my body, that I take on this personality as myself in relation to all abuse on earth, believing that I can think the world into harmony which is actually impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow abuse inside myself and the world to get to an unnecessary critical point of pain before I even consider implementing a physical solution that’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to believe that my mind has greater power to move the physical then the physical itself which is dishonest self-deception which anybody can test for themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only take action to correct physical pain in this world when the pain affects me only, as a starting point of self-interest where I cannot even notice the pain of others, but only the pain of myself believing myself to be separate from others when in fact I am not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prolong the suffering that exists here on earth as myself unnecessarily through existing as and feeding into pre-programmed consciousness which is abusive to life and thus must end.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that I am equal and one to all beings here in this physical reality, that my pain is not more important than the pain of another, and within believing that it is I only feed into my conditioning and the system of capitalism here to ensure that the abuse of life continues on earth.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that I am equal to all pain that exists in this reality, because in fact I am as life as all beings as this physical reality, and it is within this realization that I empower myself to take action to live what’s bets for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the male ego where i only focus on presenting strength to others, when in fact this strength is not real and is only existing in my mind as is proven when I experience real physical pain inside myself where this male ego cracks and no matter how hard I try in my mind I cannot avoid the pain that’s here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being weak and to be judged by others around me as weak when they see me in pain, because I am constantly in a state of competing with others in my mind – not wanting to show weakness to the enemy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and fear that I am diminished in some way within openly showing people that I am in pain, that I will be hurt by someone more if they know I’m in pain, when in fact this concept is only existing in my mind and is thus not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to exist as an unbreakable being at all times, without realising that I am flesh and bone, so it is very clear that I can break, and that this picture in my mind of me being an unbreakable being is just ego and an idea of myself in my mind 

which is clearly not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly compete with others, only seeing people as opponents in a “mind war”, focusing on winning so that I can be the “god” of this reality, instead of realising that I require to work together with others to implement practical solutions so that everyone can experience being “god” a world where no competition exists which is an equal money system.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that my mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions has no actual tangible power in anyway whatsoever in this reality and that the only way to create any kind of harmony in this world is through physical participation here in every breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can correct real physical pain within and as a concept of spirituality, where I allow an idea that the physical pain is not real, that by focusing on bliss ascending to light in my mind I’m apparently making effective change that’s best for all, when in fact this is self-deception because I’m actually hiding from making real effective change that’s best for all.

I commit myself to not deceiving myself within the belief that “things are getting better” in this reality when in fact what is physically existing and accumulating on earth in every moment is more abuse, proving that things are actually getting worse.

I commit myself to practically implementing workable physical solutions to end abuse in every way in this reality. I only accept solutions which are based in actual physical support that’s best for all.

I commit myself to not allowing any ideas, beliefs or perceptions that my mind has some kind of power to correct real physical abuse in myself, in my application or in the world as a whole, because I 

have seen for myself many times that my mind has no actual real tangible power in anyway.

I commit myself to implementing and living solutions to create a system where everyone’s pain is removed which is best for all, rather than not caring about life, focusing on removing my own pain as a starting point of self-interest, which I do not accept. I do not allow myself to believe that my pain has more relevance then anybody else’s, because I realise that all pain that exists in this world is equal 

as pain, and thus equally needs action to be removed.

I commit myself to not fear showing the physical pain I experience to others, because I realise this fear is simply the male ego desiring to present strength to others, so I realise that I am not diminished in any way through being open about the pain I experience, I am simply being clear and supporting myself to be able to correct the pain in real time here. As long as I believe I can’t show my pain to others, where I hide pretending I’m string, then I’m making sure that the pain is unnecessarily prolonged – so I do not allow this.

I am only interested in self-honesty, I’m only interested in a world where heaven is actualized with myself as the starting point because it is best for all.