Day 69: I’m so Fucking Stupid – Self Judgement

So today I crashed my car by reversing too quickly, and also in a separate incident I was pulled over by police for checking my phone while I was driving and I have been attacking myself in thought all day about it.

And So both incidents were completely my fault, although being pulled over by the police for using my phone was a little unnecessary as I did have my hands free earpiece in, so I didn’t have my phone to my ear however the officer pulled me over and talked to me regardless. In the end he went “light on me” giving me a ticket to attend a drivers awareness course costing £85 rather than getting a £80 fine and 3 points on my licence.

Then after this I finished calling the bodywork repair centre and also the guy I reversed into who ws actually pretty cool about the whole thing. However when he told me the cost of the damage and I found out the cost of my damage I realised that the damage for the day was £1600. 

It’s been like creeping self-judgement all day, and then when I found out this cost for the day I experienced a 10 ton hammer of self-judgement, where my head was slumped and I was just dragging my feet walking around, feeling heavy, constant backchat that I’m so stupid, and a concept that maybe I’m crumbling to dust under the weight of accumulating recent costs in my life.

So I’m not willing to accept this experience of myself as it does not assist me or anyone in this world in living what’s best for all, so I walk – 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as stupid for crashing my car and getting pulled over by police today.

To not realise within this that I am sabotaging myself within this, literally weighing myself down with energetic weights in my mind crushing myself where I experience myself as a tiny “insignificant” bug purposely squashing myself under the boot of judgment. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself as less than life in my mind for making costly mistakes today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within judging/sabotaging myself I make sure that I cannot have an effective participation here in doing what’s best for all, so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/sabotage myself as being stupid in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as just “inherently” stupid, when I realize that this is actually true for all humans, we are all inherently stupid through existing as our brainwashing patterns in complete ignorance and separation from physical reality. I I realize that any “inherent stupidity” I currently exist as, I can remove through taking self-responsibility for the experience of myself here and redirecting myself to live within and as breathe to implement common sense solutions that are bets for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that I should be  “impervious” to mistakes, when in fact no human is “impervious” to mistakes in this reality, that’s why the world is so fucked up, so there’s no reasons to believe that I should be “impervious” to mistakes - however humanity as a whole one day may become a lot less mistake prone if we can only mature to support each other’s expression equally in all ways, so I must live the ending of mistakes as myself.  

I forgive myself that I have not realised that regardless of the fact that my actions today were stupid, allowing myself to exist as a void of self-judgement certainly will not assist me or anyone else in anyway to do whats best for all here.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that mistakes come from miscalculations, miscalculations comes from ignorance, and ignorance comes from my acceptance and allowance of myself as brainwashing, as a pre-programmed robot in complete  separation from what’s here.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drive from a mind possessed starting point, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be here in all moments when I am driving, to be completely here as breathe fully aware of every consequence to each action I make, to be completely aware of what is happening around me, so that I can direct myself accordingly in the safest possible way which is best for all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and rush to get work done today, resulting in crashing into someone’s car.

I forgive myself that I have not disciplined myself effectively within breathing whenever I get thoughts to rush, as i have seen the consequences of this before in my life and clearly not learned, so I must apply myself consistently, effectively from this breathe forward to not allow myself to rush no matter what I am doing as rushing always results in ineffective and potentially harmful consequences for others.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to judge myself as stupid no matter what, as I realise that this is where I trap myself within a self-sabotaging cycle of diminishment where I become heavy within thought energy and cannot move myself effectively here as breathe to live what’s best for all.

I commit myself to not creating any self-definitions/concepts/beliefs in my mind that I am “inherently stupid” or that I “should not make any mistakes” which I realise that regardless of whether those statements are true or not, there is no need to create and feed into any mental relationships about this which only enforce my starting point of separation.

I commit myself to not allow myself to rush when I am behind the wheel, as I realise that this is literal mind possessed driving which im not willing to accept as it results in abuse.

I commit myself to making sure that every movement I make behind the steering wheel is from a starting point of breathe, where I can utilise common sense decision making to implement the actions of my car to be what’s bets for all. 

When and as I see myself judging myself  as stupid in anyway in any situation, I stop and breathe, I focus on standing equal to any mind movements, breathing through the specific reaction which I repeat until there is no more self-judgement I experience. I realize the consequence of participation within and as self-judgment, which is the diminishment of myself , the enslavement of myself as time looping cycles in my head in separation from physical reality where I cannot support life equally as what’s best for all in any moment. i take self-responsibility to end this judgement of myself, breathe by breathe I release the points and redirect my starting point here, where i live what’s best for all. Commmon sense.     

Day 68: All Hairy and “Manly” as a “Beard monster” Part 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and exist as a multi-dimensional mind possession of value in beards as male ego. I realize that a beard is a beard and nothing more, anything more that my mind creates in relation to beards is just an illusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see beards as being “fierce” growing up because of seeing some of my mums ex biker boyfriends as “fearsome” in my mind. I realize that this is just my defined perception of what is fearsome according to my memory which is not real, otherwise everyone in the world would see hairy men as fearsome when that is not true.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be seen as fierce by others as ego, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to memory, utilising memoires of what I define to be fierce in the past in my life as a reference to create myself as fearsome here, instead of just breathing and remaining stable here, where there is no want to project myself as fierce, or project myself as anything which is always best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a beard makes a man tougher, when in fact a person’s amount of facial hair has nothing to do with one’s ability to be tough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word beard to the word tough in absolute separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am tough for having a beard, when I realize that this is just a self-belief that I have created in my mind which has no basis in factual physical reality whatsoever and thus cannot possibly be real, and thus must not be accepted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as tough by others which shows my existence as ego, as I realize that any desire to be seen in a certain way by others is absolute bullshit and deception.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize in all moments that the desire to be seen as tough is a limiting system based in complete separation as a self-judgement that I am not certain as to whether I am tough or not and so want someone else to acknowledge this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as weak when I don’t get validation of toughness from others which is then saying that I have allowed myself to be enslaved to the opinions of others, when in fact i have no cross reference point here to suggest that I am weak or tough, and regardless of whether I am or not, I am simply a physical being here on earth equal as anyone else, I realize that I am not more or less than anybody else because of being validated as tough by others or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my experience of myself to be dependant upon the opinions of others rather than taking complete responsibility for my experience in every moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe i can take a beating. I realize that this is a self-belief which is completely irrelevant in every way and only feeds into male ego and competition which I’m not willing to accept.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to prove to myself and others that I can take a beating as ego, I realize that this want is only in my head, and it is within breathing effectively in the moment that I can redirect myself here and not go into any mind possessions such as wanting to prove to others I am tough.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that the want to be able to prove I can take a beating is a system which undoubtedly the consequence of accepting this system will lead to me putting myself in harm’s way completely unnecessarily as a state of self-sabotage, competing with other males, where I do not respect my physical body as who I am as life. I realize that there is no need to prove anything to anybody this only exists in my extremely limited mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete in my mind with every male that I meet , wondering if this guy is tough, is he tougher then me? Does he have more facial hair then me? Constant backchat, so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with new males I meet in my mind, to participate with and feed into backchat thoughts that come up when I meet a male rather than breathing and seeing the person here as who they are in fact which is equal to me, equal to everything here as the physical. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a beard makes a person more fearsome in my mind, thus I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define myself as fearsome within having a beard. I realize that a connection in my mind of beards to fear is not real at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect beards to the word fearsome in my mind in total separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a beard makes a person “wiser” about existence, which is not true in anyway, this is only because of accepting a concept growing up that “god has a big beard” and that all the “greatest thinkers/spiritual leaders” of history all had beards. And even though a great many of them did, it is clear from looking at the world now, that no bearded man’s apparent “wisdom” has improved life on earth in any way for the majority. I mean I have yet to meet a homeless man with a big “godly” looking beard which could feed themselves or improve their situation of poverty with a “godly wise bearded look”, because i realize that whether a person has a beard or not, it is completely irrelevant as it plays no part in being able to support myself or anyone else in this world effectively, no matter how “wise” I believe myself to be and project myself as to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word beard to the words wisdom, prophet and god in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be “wiser” then others in my mind, so that I can mentally ejaculate at the throne of self-righteousness as god over other beings, attempting to enslaves others  with the use of consciousness as having apparent projected “higher knowledge” within having a beard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I look like god when I have a beard, when I realize that this is simply due to what I have accepted and allowed myself to believe what god would look like growing up feeding into backchat in my mind about god.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that an idea about how a fictional god character looks like must include a beard, which is ridiculous, because god is not real in the first place, so why would it matter if I believe he has a beard or not? And in what way would that make a person more “wise”?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that looking like my idea of god with a beard could mean a person is “wise” and therefore apparently trustworthy in some way. When In fact I realise that a beard may actually suggest in some cases that a person is completely untrustworthy, that the person is not at all “wise” in being able to support all life equally, because of actually seeing themselves as god, who is an abuser of life, so I realize that a beard can potentially be a sign of an abusive person that takes up the “no mercy” policy that god endorses in the bible = kill any that do not bow to my mighty beard lol. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and exist as a self-belief that I have more of an “aura of authority” when I have a beard. However I realize that this “aura of authority” is not actually real, this only exists within the confines of my pre-programmed mind and actually reveals that I desire to have authority over others manifested in one way through having a beard with this concept of “authority” attached to the beard in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my staff and everyone else will “respect me more” if I have a beard, which is not true at all as there is no tangible cross referencing for this belief at all, it is only me validating my own mind fuck more, so I stick to breathe and stop now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the words of others about my beard with a defensive backchat experience inside myself which I allowed myself to supress and attempt to cover up with a “witty response”.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself in all moments to simply breathe if anyone makes a remark about anything to do with my physical body, and it is within breathing effectively, that I will not react and pretend that I’m not reacting within speaking a “witty response” as a form of internal cover.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity inside myself where I believe it is “good” if someone complements my beard and that its “bad” if someone makes a derogatory remark about my beard in total separation of myself fuelling the delusion of all humans in this world in relation to beards/facial hair. When I realize in fact that none of this is real it is only existing in my head because of allowing myself to become possessed by the ego always looking for validation of myself in another as something “good” which is complete self-deception that I forgive myself for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is “even better” if a woman compliments me on my beard, because of believing that if I receive that kind of compliment from a woman then maybe I can have sex with that woman in complete self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe a woman will just automatically want to have sex with me if she compliments my beard, which is not true it is just me assuming so as a mind possession as the sex system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as a “sexy man” if a woman compliments my beard, when I realize that if I’m saying that I experience myself as “more” or “less” when someone compliments me about anything, then it shows that I am not clear on the point, that I am not here as breathe, but instead I am stuck in the mind, that I have reactions and patterns that require to be investigated and dealt with.

I forgive myself that I have not realized in all moments that anytime I do have sex with a woman, I have allowed myself to believe in my mind that my beard and my “rough tough” persona/look played a factor in me getting sex, and regardless of whether that may have been true or not, I realize here that this is one way in which I have allowed myself to charge value in having a beard in my mind because I have created a self-belief that I may be more likely to get sex within having a beard. So I take responsibility to behead this value to facial hair in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I have a beard and a “rough tough” personality/look then I am more likely to have sex with a female I’m attracted to, which is not true at all it only exists in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word sex to the word beard in my mind in total separation of myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the words “tough and manly” to the word beard in complete division of myself in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have not realized in every here breathe, that a beard is simply hair that grows out of some men’s faces, it does not mean anything. The only actual real physical functions of a beard are that it makes a person look older, and it is some facial insulation in cold weather, any other functions I have created in my mind that are based in belief are all not real in anyway.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shape shift into a kind of “wolverine character” whenever I have a beard, where I am constantly projecting a kind of “rough and ready” bestial persona like wolverine. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within having a beard I am tough like wolverine in xmen, when in actual fact this belief I realize I have created in my mind through years of watching xmen when I was a kid, years of placing value in wolverine as the “epitome of toughness” in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an imaginary scale of male toughness characters in my mind and to have wolverine as the world ranked number 1 toughest character inside myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the words toughness, manly, bestial and hairy to the word wolverine in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that wolverines hairiness is anyway related to his toughness, which is not true at all, because although he is a fictional character I have allowed myself to define myself as closer to a “wolverine kind of toughness” within having a beard, when wolverines power has nothing to do with the amount of hair he has.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can take a beating like wolverine can and keep getting up within having a beard, which is a complete delusion in my head, because wolverine is a fictional character with superhuman abilities and a beard has nothing to do with a person’s ability to take a beating. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a superhero like wolverine that can take a beating and keep on getting up to “save the day”. Which I realize that within wanting to “save others” with my “toughness” is really saying I want to enslave others to provide me with energy of endless praise for my “heroic tough” deeds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define wolverine as some kind of bestial “beard monster” in my mind and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a “bestial beard monster” scaring everybody with my hairy “manliness” lol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see wolverines character as being closer to animals through the amount of hair he has, the way he sniffs trails like an animal, the way he fights like an animal, and his general “rough and ready” character. So within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am closer to animals in some way through having more hair on my face, and in general projecting a “fearsome rough and tough” character to others which is a complete mindfuck in my head, because being closer to animals has nothing to do with how I look or creating a character in my mind. To be closer to animals simply requires my unconditional support of the animal as myself, as I myself would like to be treated in complete equality here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without a beard I look “too young” which I have defined in my mind as bad”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity of having a beard looking older as “good” and having no beard looking younger as “bad”. When I realize this is all just unnecessary drama happening in my head, because i mean what fucking difference does it make if I have beard or not? None! I realize that if I look younger or older it makes no difference I am still here breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that shaving my beard will actually shave off some of my “manliness” which is only existing in my mind, because hair is hair, nothing more, and it is within breathing effectively here that I realize that I lose nothing within shaving my facial hair, I remain. So I allow myself to let go of this idea that I “lose manliness” if I shave my beard. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a self-belief that I can take a punch better if I have a beard, which I have revealed for myself to be complete bullshit through watching years of martials arts/cage fighting where it becomes apparent that facial does not come into one’s ability to take a hit and keep standing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I don’t have a beard, to believe that I am “more vulnerable” to damage, which is not true.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to take a beating because of sometimes loathing all men, loathing what we men have done to cripple this world, the harm we have caused. So I have been allowing myself to sometimes loathe myself, believing that all men are loathsome and need take get a good shit kicking, thus apparently “I deserve a beating” in my mind as cycle of self-sabotaging thoughts.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes loathe my existence as a man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify loathing myself sometimes because of seeing the destruction men have caused in this world, when I realize in self-honesty now, that there is no justification for self-loathing which is valid. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can take a beating in a fight, and to within this then to create and enforce and idea that I am able to take a beating in life, that no matter what I will crawl back up and keep on going which is just a ridiculously vain self-righteous concept within me.

I forgive myself that I have not realized in all moments that this is very often where I make my own process/life more difficult for myself at times, forcing myself to go the long difficult way about things, making things tougher for myself then they need to be, purposely over complicating simplistic actions, because after all “I can take a beating”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like watching any action/war films that depict fierce hairy men taking a beating and speaking “ words of wisdom” like in 300, which is where I charge the value I place in facial hair being connected to being “tough”, “fearsome” and “wise”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to growing up to allow Gandalf’s character in the lord of the rings animated film to imprint and be a large piece of me placing massive value in a beard being connected to “wisdom”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe when I was a kid that Gandalf’s “wisdom” was actually in some way related to his beard length, and the fact that its white, as I had never seen such a massive white beard on a cartoon characters face until seeing him. I realize that I allowed this to imprint in my mind and then fuck myself with the consequence of this later in my life here and now placing all this value in facial hair in my mind, so it stop, breathe and carry on walking.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am “more wise” with a beard then without, which is not true, because what is in my mind is not related to natural hair growth of my body. And in any case “wisdom” does not really exist in fact, the idea that any humans are “wise” is ridiculous, because through thousands and millions of years of “wise men” existing here on earth, what have we achieved? More abuse on earth! So how can anyone be wise? And even if anyone is “wise” it certainly has nothing to do with whether the person has a beard or not.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is completely deceptive to try and present myself as “wise” to others within having a beard, because the concept of “wisdom” is really just a system to separate humans, where we all bow to the “wisdom bearer” as our “spiritual prophet leader” without ever considering and testing whether or not the specific “wisdom” is practical and liveable for all. So I realize that anyone in this world that claims to be “wise” or claims a certain person is “wise” is basically saying they are “god above others” or “a slave to a god” as someone’s “higher wisdom”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the past believe that a man’s beard length is related to the amount I can trust them, because in my mind, the more facial hair they have, then the more they are connected to god/Jesus and other spiritual gurus, which growing up I believed gave these peoples words “more weight.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define a long white beard in my mind as being connected to godliness in my mind, that the person is a “godly prophet” with “higher knowledge”, and that apparently through having a long beard I am closer to “godliness” which is a complete fuck up in my head so I breathe and diffuse this mess step by step.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall down the slippery spiritual path, and to allow myself to be brainwashed by the words/images/videos/music of the words of “wise bearded men”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if a man fits my idea of what “god” or a “spiritual master” should look like in my mind, then they are more likely to say some “ground breaking wisdom” to me, which is not true in anyway whatsoever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I was involved in spiritual light worker shit, to believe that I did not need to test the information of particular “spiritual speakers” especially if they looked like a “wise bearded godly Gandalf” figure, because after all why would a Gandalf like “God” character lie? Lol.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to question, investigate and correct all these mind fabrications in relation to beards sooner.

I commit myself to stopping all pre-programmed value that I have accepted and allowed myself to put into beards and facial hair in my mind. I realize that a beard is a beard and nothing more, any mental relationships that exist in relation to beards are simply not real and thus I will not accept.

I commit myself to stop presenting myself as somebody that is “fearsome”, “tough” and “wise” within having a beard through releasing the value I have created in my mind in relation to beards is not real. And then through effective self-corrective application of breathing in Self-Honesty I take responsibility to end this fucked up insanity I have been allowing.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to desire to be more then who I am here as breathe as the physical. I realize that any backchat in my head that suggest I must “enhance” myself in some way is completely deceptive and dishonest because ei can never be more then who I am here in fact, it is only in the confines of my mind that I can convince myself that I am something “more” so I commit myself to stop this now.

I commit myself to not reacting defensively in my mind as negative thoughts when someone makes a remark about my beard, I realize that I cannot change the words of others, all I can do is change my own starting point in relation to what others say so that I am stable as breathe no matter what remark is said to me.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to expect “positive” validation from people about my beard especially females as I realize that this fuels my existence as the ego and creates a polarity friction point where my experience of myself is completely unstable as being dependent upon whether someone says something “positive” or “negative” about my beard. I realize that I am directly responsible for what I experience in every moment.

When I see myself going into the mind in relation to anything to do with a beard outside of its practical functions, I stop and breathe. I do not allow myself to participate with any concepts, beliefs, fears, desires any reaction of the mind which comes up in relation to facial hair, as I realize the consequence of this is the further limitation and enslavement of myself as a pre-programmed robot which I do not accept.

Day 67: All Hairy and “Manly” as a “Beard monster” Part 2

So continuing from my last blog, I want to have a look back at some programs I watched growing up which were a part of me placing all this value in facial hair. So I always really liked super hero cartoon shows growing up and one of my favourites was X-Men. And from the first episode I saw, Wolverine was always my favourite super hero, and it’s interesting that wolverine’s character is very “rough and tough” and he always had facial hair. I liked how he would make growling noises when he was about to fight someone, I thought he looked really fearsome with his claws. And particularly what I always liked was wolverine’s metal bones, and his power which enabled him to have accelerated healing, which in basic terms means wolverine can take a beating and keep going.

Fascinating that I associated with wolverine specifically, and that as I have grown up in this world I have defined myself as “rough and tough”, able to take a beating, placing all this value on being tough, on presenting myself as tough to others, and then associating toughness in a man to be somehow related to the amount of facial hair the man has, which I now realize through self-honest investigation is a complete bullshit concept in my mind which is not real.

I do not accept myself to exist as that which is not real any further, and a belief that facial hair has some kind of “tough” value certainly isn’t real. I take self-responsibility for what I allow, for the recreation of myself here, so that I live only what’s best for all in all areas of myself and my participation in this world.

Now I enjoy watching mixed martial arts, I have been watching it for years, not because I like to watch people fight and for someone to get hurt, which is what a lot of people watch it for. I enjoy watching it purely because of enjoying the physical movements, the intricate techniques being displayed, seeing what is effective and what is not. However what was interesting was when I first started watching martial arts years ago in my late teens, is that whenever a fight was about to start, I would automatically think the fighter that has the “roughest look” and biggest beard will more likely win.

However after watching more and more martial arts fights through the years, I began to realize that this idea was not real, that there really was no correlation at all between facial hair and a person actually being a more effective fighter. So as I watch people with less hair beating people with longer hair sometimes and vice versa sometimes, it is cool, because it has assisted me in being able to see how illusionary and completely ridiculous this Idea is which I have been accepting that facial hair make a person tougher – so if you think more facial hair makes a person “tougher” in some way like I have, then just test for yourself by watching some martial arts and you will see that it’s not true in fact. 

Interesting as well that one of my favourite war films is 300, which when I look in self honesty about why I like it, it just happens to depict a lot of bearded fighting men that can “take a beating” lol.

Also when I go back to programs I watched growing up, I liked the lord of the rings animated film which obviously depicted Gandalf with his big long white beard. At the time I noticed that when he spoke he had “special knowledge” and so growing up I also started defining a beard with some kind of “wisdom”. 

And obviously as I found out about religions in this world growing up, I noticed that aniytime god of the bible is depicted in art and media, that he is always depicted with a beard. Same with Jesus and other religious figures throughout time, again which is where I built up layers of value on beards in my mind, as being something “special” which apparently makes a person “more wise”. 

I realize that this is one reason why I completely fucked myself in the light working ascension process prior to walking what’s best for all. Because as I started watching more and more light worker videos at the time, many of the videos would show lots of pictures of angels/stars/colours/spaceships and also pictures of Jesus as well as other spiritual gurus from history and present day. And so when I was listening to ascension videos showing wise bearded men with “higher knowledge” I would assume that it was trustworthy.  So basically I began to believe that if a man has a beard, then his words have more value immediately, that I don’t need to test the words because the words will more likely be connected to god/Jesus/higher knowledge because the person speaking looks like god/Jesus and fits my idea of what a person with “higher knowledge” would look like. So yeah clearly there is plenty of self-created insanity here in relation to beards.

Time to end this Self-deception, this complete limitation of myself which I have been accepting and allowing, so join me in my next blog as I continue to investigate and walk self-forgiveness/corrective statements in my 7 year journey to life.