The End of Ignorance and Pain is Equal Money

So about a week ago there was strong wind in the middle of the night, which broke a piece off a fence at the bottom of the garden. So after some investigation in the morning, I realised that the whole fence needs to be replaced, because the guys who installed the fencing years ago did not complete the last panel effectively, as it was slightly misaligned and also my next door neighbours side of the fence was completely rotten, which was due to no paint or varnish protection being applied on their side of the fence, which I suggested they do about a year ago, which they didn’t do, and thus we all suffered the consequence of a slowly decaying, weakening fence which the wind finally floored in the night.

Fascinating how we humans blindly exist only within and as the multiple bubbles in our mind to the degree where we are completely cut off from what’s here, unaware of the rot that is spreading through this reality as ourselves, completely brainwashed to not even notice how much suffering  is existing moment by moment. And within that we are completely unwilling to support the physical as ourselves because our accepted and allowed pre-programming forbids us from seeing the actuality of what’s here and what must be done to correct and perfect what’s here. Lots of philosophies, conflicting opinions, and beliefs about how to correct and perfect what’s here, but no actual solution based in physical reality that considers what’s best for all in every way. 

We are designed to not give a fuck about what’s best for all, and to rather only consider our self-interest, focusing on a golden hereafter ticket as ego, where the only “solutions” we support are those that consider some first instead of all first, where we actually are just allowing the world to accumulate further and further into absolute chaos, and we are just hiding and denying this by entertaining and existing purely as our programmed minds 24/7.   

Anyway so I knew I couldn’t afford a new fence at the moment, so I began to repair the fence as best as possible by nailing pieces of wood back together and generally realigning things.

Then I started to get a bit agitated at one point, which was because I reacted to nobody wanting to help me repair the fence, also one part of the fence was taking a bit of time to do, and I had a lot of other things that still required to be done for the day.

So then I started to physically tighten a bit and rush what I was doing, existing in the hereafter as a hope that I can complete it soon, instead of remaining here as breathe. And then as I was knocking in a nail at a quick pace, I missed the nail and smacked my thumb with the hammer right on the thumbnail.

The pain shot through my thumb, I gritted my teeth, squinted, I took in a sharp quick breath and while I tried to ignore the pain in my mind for a moment, there was about 20 seconds where there was nothing but the pain in my thumb that I could focus on here. Nothing else existed but the uncomfortability in my thumb, which is always the case whenever we experience real physical pain, there is no escaping from it, no pretending it’s not here, ignorance to pain is not possible when we are directly experiencing it here.

If only we humans could realise this point within the context of oneness and equality then we would not be ignoring the suffering that the physical is going through here on earth as starvation, rape, war and the abuse of nature. 

So over the next hour after hitting my thumb, the nail started to turn a bit black from bruising, I focused on breathing, and within this experience was a cool realisation that physical pain is always very shit, and is completely real. 

While “pain” in our mind as for example my experience of annoyance that nobody was attempting to fix the fence with me, and the hope to finish it quickly, was never actually real pain, it was just self-created in my head. And neither was the want to ignore the real pain in my thumb for a moment, this was also equally not real, but just existing in my head as ego in separation of myself. Real physical pain cannot be ignored in anyway no matter what, no matter how tough you think you are, no matter how delusional we get, real pain is real pain for us all. And there are so many beings in this reality right now as I type this, which are experiencing real unimaginable pain in comparison to the pain of hitting my thumb with a hammer.

This global pain is unacceptable, cannot be ignored in self-honesty, and destonians are those that refuse to ignore the pain existing here. Refuse to turn a blind eye to abuse within and without, and are not satisfied until a solution that’s best for all is lived in fact.

So what must be considered by all is that within an equal money system there is nobody left to suffer without support, there is no ignorance to suffering, while people will still be able to hurt themselves through hitting their thumb for instance, however interms of global suffering like starvation that will disapear, because the basis of an equal money system is the principle of facing what’s here, correcting the source of the suffering and offering equal unconditional support for all from birth till death, so that all can be facilitated to grow to be the most effective human possible, which equates to humanity becoming as effective as possible, where we can transcend pain and ignorance to it in all ways for good, which is best for all - so within fixing a rotten fence and hitting my thumb with a hammer was some cool realisations.

Fuck "buddies"

This is something which I have a lot of experience of, as do alot of people in the world, which in my self-investigation has come from a fear that has developed since the end of my last relationship. A fear in my mind that if I am to have another relationship, then there will be arguments, jealousy, anger and general emotion possessions that will come up which I fear to face. Fearing change, fearing myself, fearing that I will compromise myself to keep the other person happy if I have a relationship with them, where even If I see the partner blatantly allowing abuse as long as I have sex as a reward for keeping the partner happy, then I will say nothing, where a slave-master situation exists. So in my mind this is used as an excuse as to why I’m only looking for sex from a potential partner. So in my backchat whenever I meet and get to know a potential partner, this fear of relationship personality initiates, and all the thoughts focus around just having a “friendship” with the person that I can talk to, and have sex with, without having to deal with and face the other “difficult” parts of relationships that come up.

It’s like in my mind just desiring to have the “best parts” of my last relationship, which I considered to be “deep” discussions and sex. So there’s a fear of being intimate, with another accepting myself and another fully, developing a relationship that is actually stable, supportive and thus would have longevity. Also there’s a fear that if I am to get into a relationship with another, then I will just be wanting to be with a “better partner” in my mind, so I have been believing that I will not be satisfied in a relationship, and will thus go out to have sex with someone else because I am not trusting myself fully. So this defence mechanism engages around a potential partner, where backchat starts coming up like “don’t have a relationship with this person Marley, you will probably cheat on her, or she will cheat on you so don’t bother having a relationship, just have sex”.  

So a few days ago I was sitting in my room after finishing work, and I started experiencing thoughts based in boredom, and as always whenever I experience boredom within and as me, there is a domino effect where after the boredom, then I immediately start getting thoughts about sex come up.  

And because I didn’t stand as these thoughts equal and one here as they came up, taking self-responsibility releasing the thoughts through self-forgiveness/breathing, the thoughts started to charge, and I instead allowed myself to be controlled by these thoughts, where I shifted into this “fuck buddy” personality. 

Then I texted a female friend purely wanting to fulfil this built up desire for sex as this “fuck buddy” personality I was accepting and allowing myself to be. This female told me she was out drinking, and then she asked me to pick her up, so I picked her up knowing that this person was completely drunk and thus it would be easy to have sex. 

So we went back to her place, where we sat and chatted for a while, but during the whole time, it was like I couldn’t even hear what she was saying here, because all I was thinking about was sex. Then we got into a heated debate about politics as the energy was accumulating within myself in the conversation, which eventually resulted in me and this female having sex. 

Immediately after the sex though, there was immediate backchat to leave, because the sex here was not a physical expression, it was purely mind sex from the starting point of building energy to attain the orgasm. So I put my clothes on said goodbye and as I left she said to me she wants to see me again soon, which I agreed to. 

However as I was walking downstairs I realised the self-deception within myself that I have been allowing within this fuck buddy relationship.  Because it occurred to me that if we didn’t have sex with each other, then there would be no friendship of any kind, which revealed to me that every fuck buddy I have would not be my buddy if we didn’t fuck, because the friendship is not real. It is purely based on charging the sex system within and as me through the orgasm, which just furthers my starting point of separation. 

So I can see how I am limiting myself within this point of only wanting fuck buddies, placing value in my mind on fucking believing it to be “better” and “safer” then having a relationship, which is not true and is not supportive within walking a process of self-honesty, because as I have revealed the fuck buddy is purely to charge my programming as the sex system in separation of myself as something more than me here. 

When in fact if I am saying I am less than this sex system I have created and built up as myself, then I am a slave to this sex system, and thus unable to change what I am allowing. However a self-supportive relationship could be developed, if I can come to terms with and correct my self-created separation of myself in relation to sex and relationships, because while my focus is on attaining mind sex from a potential partner, then it is best for all for me to not have fuck buddies or  a relationship until I stand as self-trust as myself, where I am actually able to support myself unconditionally physically here as another – I am not willing to accept my limitations, and so I walk investigating, forgiving, re-scripting myself within and as breath until here no further.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having a relationship again, because of believing and fearing that I will become emotionally possessed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming emotionally possessed within a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this as a justification as to why I only want to have sex with a potential partner, rather than develop a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only desire to have a a fuck buddy instead of a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have not realised until now that by engaging in fuck buddy relationships, that I am in fact only furthering my starting point of separation through charging the sex system existing within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have not realised and understood that by allowing myself to be controlled by my back chat in relation to desiring sex, that I am actually saying I am less then these thoughts enslaved to these thoughts, as if I cannot stop participation, when in fact I can.  

I forgive myself that I have not realised that within fearing relationships, I am actually saying that I fear myself as another, and thus will see myself as separate from another according to my programming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being controlled by my partner in a relationship, and thus justifying in my mind why I am only searching for fuck buddies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify why I look for fuck buddies, because of having no attachments, and fearing being controlled by another in a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my mind that any serious relationship I attempt to develop with a female will only fail and end in abuse before I am actually experiencing this relationship.

I forgive myself that I have not realised until now that within believing that any relationship I attempt to have with a female will fail, I am actually disempowering myself, feeding my programming through agreeing with it, and within that no change that’s best for all is possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this disempowerment in relation to sex and relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and protect myself from being emotionally hurt by a female, by only looking for sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I become this “search for fuck buddy” personality that it is the woman’s fault why I become this personality, and that it is a justified defence mechanism within my mind to avoid being hurt or hurting another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame someone else for what I am experiencing inside instead of taking responsibility for myself, standing as the directive principle of equality and oneness through breathe.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to take full responsibility for all reactions related to sex and relationships that come up in my days, because any reaction is  in fact always self-created and manifested physically within participation with pre-programming by self and self alone, which I realise in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid having to deal with “difficult” parts of a relationship, and to within that define myself as a person that will still find a way to avoid whatever my mind deems as difficult, which is to avoid what is here, which is separation which must be stopped.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the physical, by becoming an entity personality possession looking for only sex when I am around a potential partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sex was the only part of my last relationship that is worth looking for again, and to within that believe that sex always has the highest value over anything else in a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value on sex as “most important” when there is in fact nothing that is more important than anything else within a relationship, it is all equally here because within equality nothing has more value, all is equal in fact.

I forgive myself that I have not realised until now that all sexual intercourse I am engaging in with having fuck buddies is all based in the mind, in stimulating myself according to pictures, replaying memories, and the orgasm energy, enforcing my programming, instead of actual physical expression here within and as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the mind sex I have defined myself within and as, when in fact this mind sex is not really me as who I really am as life, it is only programming existing in my head, that I have accepted myself to be and thus it is equal as me, but which is only coming to fruition with my allowance of myself to participate with this programming instead of seeing the deception and changing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing myself physically here within and as real sex, because I have never done it before, every sexual experience I have had with a female thus far has been purely sex based in pre-programming which I can change by changing myself.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being intimate with another in a relationship, which is just saying I am still not fully intimate with myself, or trusting myself in anyway.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and believe that if I have a relationship, I will only be desiring to have a different partner, so I should not have a relationship, and this I justify in my mind why I only want a fuck buddy. Which even if it is true, I am already designing it within believing it before I am there, which disempowers me to change, when in fact I am the designer of myself within every here breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for satisfaction from another within relationships or sexual encounters, where I compromise myself by believing that it is always the other person that must satisfy me, without realising that satisfaction is always here within and as every breathe, it is not something to be attained from someone else.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must “protect” myself when I am around a potential partner through becoming a fuck buddy personality, so I don’t have to face and change myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the sex system within and as me through feeding into and becoming this personality in my mind of only seeking for sex to charge my sex system within and as me, instead of realising my own limitation, and directing this sex system I have accepted and allowed myself to become equal and one within and as self-corrective application.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience boredom when I’m sitting in my room after work, with what I perceive in my mind as having “nothing to do”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience and define myself according to a want for sex to “fill in” what I perceive in my mind as a void of boredom that I experience myself as sometimes after work when I’m sat in my room.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that within allowing myself to be controlled by thought to go and have sex with a fuck buddy, then I am in fact saying that I am less then these thoughts as if I cannot take self-responsibility, when I in fact can.

 I forgive myself that I have not taken self-responsibility for myself immediately when bored/sexual thoughts come up, by breathing and remaining here physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have sex from the starting point of creating energy, first in conversation with a fuck buddy having a heated debate, then building into mind sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from facing and correcting my limitations within sex through fuelling the system within having fuck buddies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as mind sex, where I believe in my mind that I cannot enjoy sex unless I have it in certain ways according to memory, and what I have placed value on according to my programming. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot enjoy sex unless it is in certain ways based on how I have allowed my programming to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that by entertaining and charging my sex system programming within and as me by having a fuck buddy, that I am just enforcing my programming, strengthening the idea that I “must have it” in certain ways to enjoy sex, fuelling my starting point of separation, where change is not possible.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that every “fuck buddy” I have is not an actually a real friendship at all, and if we could not entertain our sex systems with each other, then we wouldn’t even be “friends” revealing that the “friendship” is completely conditional and based in separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what my fuck buddies will think if I stop communicating with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having no fuck buddies, because of fearing having to face my limitations within sex.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to go without fuck buddies because of fearing what they will think If I stop contacting them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as weak for feeding into my sex system within having fuck buddies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger at myself for not correcting my limitations within sex. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I will be able to change my limitations within sex as self-doubt, where I then justify feeding my sex system through having fuck buddies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this fear, judgement, anger, and doubt, within which there is no opportunity to change, because I am not allowing the possibility of change because of fearing what other think, judging myself, being angry with myself and doubting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face and accept all parts of my programming unconditionally here, so that I am able to empower myself to change, instead of supressing sex limitations, and entertaining them with fuck buddies.  

   

I forgive myself that I have allowed this point of entertaining my sex system to accumulate, instead of standing as the directive principle of equality and oneness, within and as breathe dealing with the points as they come up here as myself.

“Revenge is Sweet”

This is a statement I have heard many, many times in my life, as well as stating and believing this myself in the past. And just yesterday I heard it again, when I was in conversation with a close female friend regarding her ex-partner. She explained to me that because he was very abusive to her, she sometimes would like to see him suffer because “revenge is sweet”. 

It’s a fascinating pre-programming that we humans have which obviously feeds into conflict as retaliations to being directly abused. This is a basis of how a gang mentality operates, It’s as if we believe in our mind that once we have hurt the person that hurt us, that there will actually be a tangible sweet taste that we experience – lol very fucked up. 

However within believing a statement like “revenge is sweet” as a personality, we are actually completely mind possessed looking for a quick route outside of ourselves to try and make ourselves feel better by harming another that harmed us, where we are not taking self-responsibility for ourselves. In Self-honesty we realise that revenge has nothing to do with another person, its starting point is what we have allowed, and only ego will look for a reason to attack the person that abused us, because whether we were physically hurt or not, our ego was also hurt as well, in our minds we feel as if we have lost our respect, our honour and fear it happening again – and so must apparently look outside of ourselves to go out and hurt the person which abused us so that we can “reclaim” our respect. It is simply complete separation of ourselves to believe such a statement as “revenge is sweet”, the personality was offended, then it’s just constant swirling fear based backchat stabbing the person in thought since the event that has not been dealt with, which eventually manifests as a person acting out against someone.

So this acting out “to get even” with someone as the statement “revenge is sweet” is actually only us allowing ourselves to harm ourselves, according to the principle of oneness and equality. It is only an accumulation of thoughts that have not been dealt with, and is just fuelled by a fear of being hurt again, and that apparently in order to stop this we must attack the person first, to not only “get even” but to hurt them so badly they cannot hurt us again.

It is a desperate attempt to try and protect ourselves from others, which is in fact only us trying to protect ourselves from ourselves. When really all we are doing is hiding from ourselves, hiding from the fact that this want for revenge has nothing to do with the other person, it is only us reacting and looking for a point outside of ourselves to blame about what we are experiencing inside, which will be a feeling of disrespect, embarrassment, fear and anger. 

But to believe that these experiences inside us and as us will be “healed” with “sweet revenge” is insanity, because we could have just sorted out our experience inside through self-forgiveness/breathing application which is best for all. However, trying to control and suppress  our experiences of embarrassment, disrespect etc by harming another is nothing but abusive insanity which will not actually correct our internal inadequacies, but only supress them – so trying to control an outcome according to self-interest and fear harming another, is a clear indicator of a massive mental dysfunction which can only possibly cause abuse.

So do not allow any ideas that revenge is sweet in anyway, becuase it is not, it is just abuse, and in an Equal Money System, the statement “revenge is sweet” will eventually be commonly understood in society as nothing more than the formula of endless war, the mathematical equation of chaos, a relic belief of a dark age of mankind where we abused our neighbour as we do now. 

So research equal money, join desteni and be one vote for a system of world equality in every way, a system where the abuse of revenge will not been seen as something “sweet”  and will eventually be no more, which is best for all.