Day 189: "I am so special" - No i am deluded part 2

Do you believe you have more importance then others for some reason? Do you desire to have people giving you constant attention? Do you desire to have slaves instead of equal relationships with people?

Realise that you are no different to any living being - you will turn to dust, nothing can stop that certainty, just the same way as nothing can stop the certainty that you breathe the same air as any other being that requires oxygen. You will eat food at some point, you will take a piss and a shit at some point, and you will require all your basic necessities to have a life of dignity. These facts are no different for any being.

The delusion of "specialness" is something that many in the Illuminati have yet to deal with, as well as the majority of humanity in general, however it can tend to be more pronounced within many people at the top of the elite.

What is interesting is that we can actually become a truly special race in terms of our ability to change and take care of life. But it is this sole concept of being special from a starting point of ego in many peoples mind which is a massive part of what has got the human species in the mess we are in now. In human history there has been an endless supply of people who thought they were "special saviours" that are going to "save the world by themselves". In reality it is only ever through unity that the greatest tasks that our species face can be corrected, so this planet is tired of this delusion of "I am special" in the minds of humans, because it is actually only something that pushes us towards the extinction of our species. I will never accept that for myself as a part of my world, so if you agree, then walk with me out of this insane delusion -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that something about me, some accomplishment, some belief, or something about my physical design that makes me more important then other people. I realise that this is the cornerstone of continually recreating the world as the fucked up place that it is, which i will not accept, so I take self-responsibility to live equal to all beings in this world.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every breathe that we all have unique attributes, skills and elements to our personality that is our expression as living beings - every single being in this world has something which can contribute to a better world. I realise that everyone can be uplifted to reach their maximum potential in this world, and everyone should be congratulated for their accomplishments -- but the moment we start demanding praise, the moment we start believing that we should be above other people as a god in our own heaven like the reptilian being Anu, then that indicates requiring serious mental corrections.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that when I believe I am truly more important then others, I am directly saying to people - bow to me or burn in hell for eternity. So this "I am special" delusion can only create consequences of abuse, and this is something that all the worst people in this world mentally struggle with, and will have to find a way to correct, or life will disregard them the same way that they have disregarded life.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that this whole "specialness" concept, is something that I have been taught by parents in younger years, and/or has developed when I have received unreasonable amounts of love or money energy in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to love and/or money energy, which I realise is how this "specialness" ego fuck up in the mind has developed.

I forgive myself for not realising in every moment that humanity are supposed to be the gods of eden on this planet, not tyrant gods of destruction.While this world is falling apart, we still have the capacity and capabilities to change change our ways and build a better world before it is too late.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as cult leader through this "specialness" character, where I believe that "only I" know what is right, that "I am never wrong" and nobody can question my word, which is nothing but a hopeless misconception - learning is an endless process, so everyone has corrections to make and new knowledge to learn how to apply in our lives -- nobody in this world is omnipotent and "all knowing" but its interesting how this "specialness" character allows us to believe that we are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that only I know what is right, that I am never wrong as this "specialness" character, where in reality I only become more confused about how learning works, and become more effective at ignoring the suffering of life, which is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that giving 100% of my effort in any undertaking is beneficial for all life, that striving for and making achievements in this world is beneficial for all life, but the problems only come in when I start reacting to my achievments, allowing my achievements to pump up my ego and develop this "i am so special" character, where my capacity to do whats best for all life will be massively compromised.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take pride in only my own achievements, when in reality i should be expereicning pride in every beings achievements that are supportive for life in this world, as well as assisting and building people up who have yet to achieve things in this world - this i can only achieve through living in equality and oneness as life, not through the concept of me "being special".

I commit myself to not allowing myself to exist as this "I am special" character in my life, I realise that this concept is destructive in its very nature, so when and as i see thoughts coming up in my mind based in this "I am so special" concept, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage with any of these thoughts, instead I continue to stick to breath no matter how many times these "specialness" thoughts come up, I continue to breathe, until there are no more "specialness" thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that I cannot change the worst problems in the world on my own, it is only through unity with other living beings that beneficial changes will happen in the world, not through a deluded mental concept of being "special".

I commit myself to supporting people to realise the importance of unity, and the dangers of thinking we are special. So I commit myself to planting seeds and calling out anyone who is trapped within the "specialness" character.

Day 188: "I am so special" - No i am deluded.

You could say we are special in terms of us being living beings, with the potential and capacity to change our ways and become the gardeners of this planet. We all have unique attributes and experiences, which compliment us in our expression as living beings, which can inspire and support ourselves and others to be the best that we can be in anything that we do. So we all have something to contribute to a better world - but have you ever thought that something about you, some accomplishment, some belief, or something about your physical design makes you think you are special and more important then others?

I have experienced this before, everyone has in certain moments of our life, for instance I remember training in martial arts when I was about 12 years old - after training there for a year or so, my head coach at the time, put me training with the over 16s. I was the only under 16 kid that was training with the over 16s in my gym. I remember my head coach having a private chat with me about competing professionally, then making a speech in front of everyone basically giving me loads of praise.

I remember in the moment and the many subsequent moments after that I began thinking I'm special,  that I have more importance to other people because "I'm the only 12 year old training with the over 16s". But I wouldn't say it to people, I would tell people that I don't think I'm that good, even though in my mind I did, so I kept my "special me" thoughts to myself in my mind in dishonesty, and then started pretending that I'm not experiencing these thoughts in self-dishonesty. As a consequence from not dealing with this shit in my mind effectively, I started slacking off my training, started acting more like a veiled bigshot/bully, started thinking only I know best, starting street fights, that I can do whatever I want to people, and generally just started being a little shit disrespecting the martial arts and life in general more and more into teenage years.

Parents often tell their children that they are special, so many can relate to thinking they are special from a young age. Most commonly moments where we think we are special, are when we have the highest points of money and or the love energy that we have experienced in our lives. An example that everyone can relate to could be characterised by things like when we have a birthday - we get gifts, money, and feel the "love energy" from people more then usual. Within this many people believe they have special rules on their birthday, which can then become an excuse to abuse people as a consequence.

I have since realised that humans individually thinking that they are more important then each other is one of the main reasons the world is a fucked up place today. Because when a person believes this "specialness" intently, then an addiction to the energy of "feeling special" becomes evident, where a person will stop at nothing just to garner some extra attention from people, to demand more praise then others, and consequentially, this concept becomes a cornerstone for abusing life.

Just have a look at all the worst humans in this world, the most psychopathic, many of them being Royals, bankers, celebrities, politicians etc - all of them are trapped within the ego, receiving masses of money/love energy, believing intently that they have special rules, that they are beyond any form of universal law, that they are "gods" and thus can literally "do what they want" to people. You will bow to their apparent "almightiness" as a slave, or you will be attacked and disregarded by them for not bowing - either way you will be abused, and this kind of thinking has been proven throughout recorded time, to only perpetuate a world of harm and a mathematical certainty of the extinction of a species, which i will not accept for myself, because all lifeforms are equal as gods, and we are supposed to be gods of an eden like reality that we build, not some ignorant tyrant gods, destroying ourselves and our world as we have accepted ourselves to be for far too long time.

No matter what you achieve in this world, no matter how you are designed, there is no difference, realise that you are a living being with the same requirements as any living being - food, water, shelter, electricity, a life of dignity. We are all equal as life, we will all walk on this Earth for a certain period of time, then no matter how long it takes you will die and turn to dust.

This is not to say that we should not enjoy striving for and making great achievements in our lives, that is not a problem at all, to do the best we can in any undertaking is something we should always do. The problem only comes in when we hold onto those achievements, focus on our pride, and become possessed by the energy of "specialness" demanding special treatment and praise from others which is abuse and so will only lead to fucked up consequences.

So if you are experiencing yourself as special now because of some achievement, or something about your design, or if someone in your world is dealing with "specialness" issues, then join me in my next blog as i walk the corrections to this.

Day 187: The Dogman Part 2

continuing from my last blog -

Yes its true if a person has problems with Dogs or any animals, then they will have to change that at some point in their life in order to become a better human being, but I cannot let myself react to people just because they don't like dogs -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react whenever I find out that a person does not like dogs, or the type of dogs I have. I realise that within the capitalist system we have in place in the world, everyone has had different upbringings/education and so varying degrees of understanding of reality, so I take self-responsibility to live this realisation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissed off by the fear and ignorance of others - I realise that if someone is accepting fear and ignorance in relation to anything, then that is their problem to resolve, not mine, so it should not be affecting me in anyway whatsoever unless their fear/ignorance is causing consequences of abuse in my world, in which case I can simply block them and move on.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that some people raise dogs to be aggressive, and so some people have been attacked badly by aggressive dogs in the past, and even if they haven't, they might know someone that was, or maybe they may have been raised in a house with no animals, and so may have been taught at a young age to treat animals with disdain. So it is not acceptable for me to judge people because they cant let go of those traumatic memories/life experiences - this world is living proof that letting go of traumatic experiences is something that we all have struggled with more then anything else -- in my experience the worst memories in our lives are always full of the most thoughts and emotions, and thus are the most difficult to release.  

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every breathe, that I have allowed fear and ignorance in relation to other points in my life, such as with things like criminality, relationships, drugs -  so it makes no sense to judge anyone for thoughts and emotions that I have experienced myself in different contexts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress a memory of when I myself was afraid of a dog in a moment - I remember being about 7 years old, my mums friend had an old grumpy dog, and I wanted to play, he didn't and he bit me, so in reality although I have always enjoyed dogs hugely, I know exactly what emotions one experiences in a moment of fearing a dog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to avoid people that are afraid of dogs, because of experiencing thoughts that to attempt to support them to change the point will be hopeless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as hopelessness in regards to supporting people to let go of dog fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify this avoidance in my mind, because of memories of past relationships and friendships, where I attempted to support the person to let go of their fear of dogs and I perceive that I "failed", because many of those relationships or friendships from the past ended on disagreeable terms - so in my mind I go into hopelessness when I find a person that I meet now in my life is afraid of dogs, which I am realising is limited stupidity --

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of broken down relationships from the past as a justification to react to, judge, and avoid people with Dog fears. I realise that regardless of what has happened in the past, as with all things, if I see that someone has an issue inside of themselves that I know I can support them with or plant a seed, then I must do that, but if my giving is not unconditional then it is pointless -

So I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in the past offer support to people with dog fears, just so that the person will like and respect me and thus stay in my life, which is a conditional giving of support based in self-interest, which is unacceptable. I realise that how a person responds to my support is never the point in terms of my interaction - that I attempt to support, and do it from an unconditional starting point which is the key to living whats best for all -

So within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a person to like me for supporting them to let go of dog fears, and then be offended if they don't start releasing those fears immediately and thanking me/liking me. I realise this is a complete lack of understanding and psychotic concept in reality, so I take self-responsibility to change these problems inside my mind and my interaction.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments, that within anything, I must support a person unconditionally, and I can only do so when I am completely clear, no hidden agendas, and am fully experienced in how to change the point, while also understanding of peoples varying degrees of education and thus ability to make those changes immediately or at all.

I realise that the reward for attempting to support a person completely unconditionally, is that even if the person doesn't respond or take interest in my attempted support I will not be offended, I will not react, because I am not expecting anything in return for my giving, the point of unconditional is completely free, no payment, so if they support themselves to change their fears then great, if they don't then they don't. If they don't we will possibly still part ways, but it will be on beneficial terms because I will not be offended/emotional/verbally abusive as the ego that "they didn't listen to me" and who knows in years to come, a memory of something I said may help them out in later life when they are ready to change  -  the power of planting a seed must never be underestimated, I have seen that myself with other people regarding other points, and within myself when someone has supported me in my process.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to hold onto unsupportive memories in regards to attempting to assist people with dog fears in the past. As and when i see thoughts/memories coming up in my mind that fuel judgements to people with dog fears, I stop and breathe, I realise the time loop, the destructive chain of events that will happen if I participate with those thoughts/memories, so I breathe and continue to breathe until there are no more unsupportive thoughts/memories that come up when I find out a person doesn't like dogs.

I commit myself to living the realisation that if I attempt to support anyone to support themselves to change anything about themselves, then it is only valid support if I do it unconditionally, otherwise it will only be conditional/emotional/self-interested support, which is not support at all but abuse so I take self-responsibility to end this mind game that's been happening in my head.

I commit myself to not react as an offended experience if a person does not respond/take action with regards to my attempted support. I realise that the proof of this will only be proven if my support is unconditional in the first place in self honesty. If my "support" is conditional it will only be ego, dishonesty, separation and abuse and thus i will be offended. So as and when I attempt to support a person to look at how to release their dog fears, i first breathe, where I can apply common sense and create the best solution, where I make sure that there is no thoughts/memories/hidden agendas at play - also if and when a person does not take interest in my support in the future, as and when I see any thoughts/memories/emotions coming up, i stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to go into anything that comes up, I just breathe here as myself as life equal and one, and continue to breathe through the points until there is no more reactions in these moments.

I commit myself to living the realisation that we all have varying degrees of education and thus ability to change even if we are provided support.

Day 186: The Dogman

I've lived with dogs my entire life, there has always been a hairy canine in my daily living. I find dogs to be amazing beings, which are called "mans best friend" for good reason. I enjoy their physicality, their touch and expression, I've been through all the high points and low points of my life, and dogs have always assisted me and vice versa.

I've noticed recently that as I've had a few issues come up in my life, that whenever I find out a person does not like dogs, or doesn't like the breed of dogs that I have, I react - I get pissed off by what I perceive to be nothing but fear and ignorance, and then I start judging the person in my mind as an arsehole, and then will do anything to avoid that person.

I mean yes, dogs and all animals should not be feared, but why is this happening? Why am I taking that personally?  Why am I not considering the fact that we all have been brought up in different ways? Because that is the truth, so I'm looking here at placing myself in the shoes of someone who is afraid of dogs or certain dogs.

I have assisted people before in the past that have animal fears,  like friends and ex partners that had particularly dog fears, which is my speciality to assist a person with when it comes to animals I would say - my dogs are great for people like that, because Rottweilers and Staffies are considered breeds that cause fear for many people. But Cypher and Baku are so friendly to people that it really helps people to see that it is all a matter of how animals are treated as to whether or not they are dangerous.

And I think in part my recent reactions to people saying they don't like dogs, is because when I think of teaching people to understand dogs, I immediately have memories of ex partners come up, which regardless of the "high points" all ended up in "low points" and the ending of the relationship, so its kind of like in my mind I think - well that was a pointless lesson to show someone because they are gone and avoid me like the plague now, so why bother next time?

But I realise that my actions must be unconditional, if I'm assisting people with animal fears, just so they can like me, and want to be around me, then my starting point is completely fucked. I realise that I cannot control what people do, but I can unconditionally plant seeds, and there is no end to the value that action in and of itself has, which even if the person never sees me again as a friend or in any capacity, what I have shown them in regards to dogs may still assist them in later years to get to a point of self-realisation regarding their equality to all life.
 
So instead of reacting in my mind to people that have fears of dogs and animals in general when I next come across it, I will not react and avoid the person, I will attempt to interact with the person, and assist them or just plant a seed, I will not allow, memories, fears and emotions dictate my interaction.

So join me in my next blog as I walk self-forgiveness/self-corrective statements.