Day 76: “it’s so funny how you got hurt” - The Sadist Character Part 2

I realize that the suffering of others is no joke in anyway, it is abuse of life, and thus completely unacceptable, so I walk:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to laugh at people that hurt themselves on camera.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within laughing at a person being hurt on camera, I actually exist as a sadist character literally feeding energy for my mind off of the suffering of others in complete separation of myself and abuse to life.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within laughing at a person being hurt on camera, that I am supporting the abuse of life, that it is indicating a serious mental dysfunction in my head.

I forgive myself that i have not realized that every laugh i allow at the suffering of another, is another bloodthirsty demonic lash wipping on physical reality, whipping at ourselves believing we are whipping another from a "safe higher position", when all we are doing is crumbling this world into further and further levels of degradation of life with our own participation, our own hands, building, living in and perpetuating hell on earth here.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed msyelf to realize that with every laugh i give at the suffering of another, that i charge my laughter at others suffering in future moments literally trapped as a sadistic, psychotic monster timeloop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become mind possessed as this sadist character when I am watching shows like ridiculousness, where I become internally “involved” in the clips of pain, rather than simply breathing as I watch the clips within which I am able to realize in common sense that there is no comedy in the suffering of another.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become internally “involved” with the clips of pain in these jackass style programs rather than remaining stable as breathe, so I take responsibility to change this about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the movement of a person on camera as they are about to perform a stunt, where I am completely stuck in the mind as this sadist character eagerly awaiting the stunt to go wrong to get my energetic “view pleasure” off the pain of another.

 I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize in all moments that when I am laughing at another person being hurt whether accidently or not, that I am within that actually supporting a world that laughs at the harm of another, which is a spiteful, self-interested starting point which I no longer accept about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define comedy within a person being hurt on camera, when in fact there is nothing comical about pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief that the more “extreme” the stunt is, then the more funny it is when it goes wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to see a person hurt trying to perform a life threatening stunt for my self-interested amusement.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that any stunt which is clearly playing with death, is clearly incredibly stupid, and that within seeing this  I justify wanting to see the stunt go wrong, to see the person get hurt for my amusement as an abuser watching on the side lines with a big grin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify wanting to see people hurt on camera within seeing how stupid the stunt is, when I realize that there is no justification that exists for wanting to see the suffering of another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word comedy to the words pain and extreme.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that within seeing the pain of others as comedy, that I am only able to define this abuse as comedy in my mind as long as I am not in pain. Because I I realize and understand through experience that when I am in pain, there is no comedy whatsoever, I am not laughing when I am the one suffering, so it is best for all to not laugh at the suffering of anyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have immediate backchat come up in my head when I see someone getting hurt on camera accidently or purposefully, of “ouch that looked like it hurt”, and “glad that wasn’t me”.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within being glad that I didn’t get hurt the way the person did on the camera, I am literally saying my protection is more important than any other person in the world as a completely self-interested starting point in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to put myself in the shoes of others in all moments, as every here breath where there is no comedy of seeing any person in existence being hurt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become hypnotized as this sadist character when I watch programs like ridiculousness, where I laugh in complete ignorance of physical reality, which clearly shows there is no comedy here within the harm of another. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a self-belief that it is “ok” to laugh at the suffering of others because it is on the TV in “TV land”, which is then saying that abuse on TV is acceptable in this world, when I realize that it is not, which I realize when abuse happens to me or happens to someone near my bodies space, I do not laugh when the abuse is actually happening in my space, so there is no justification to laugh at any abuse while watching TV.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate TV from physical reality in my mind, viewing the TV as a kind of on-going soap-opera of ignorant stupidity, when in fact I realize that I exist as this ignorant stupidity through separating TV in my mind, when it is the TV that clearly shows in front of us the abuse we humans allow within ourselves that require to change to what’s of benefit to all life, so we change the channel of the TV of ourselves so to speak.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within existing as this sadistic chracter, to basically create myself as god in my mind, high on energy in my kingdom of laughter at the suffering of others heaven, where the screaming of nonsensical ignorant laughter is on a timeloop in my mind, while the real physical scareams of those in this world that are abused to such an unimaniagble degree everyday go unheard. i accept and allow myself to relinquish myself as god, to behead myself as the sadistic god, i step down off the throne in my mind that i am responsible for, and instead breathe and live whats best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity in my mind, that it is “good” when I’m watching a person get hurt and “bad” when I’m the one getting hurt, which is a truly nasty, psychotic concept as this sadist character that is not real, because i realize in fact that there is no such thing as “good” or “bad” abuse, and it is irrelevant of whether it happens to me or not. Abuse is abuse, and it is unacceptable in all its formats.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within existing as this sadist character, I am supporting all abuse that exists here on earth; I realize i am literally with my participation as this sadistic mind possession continuing the allowance of a system that keeps people being raped, beaten, tortured, starved at an accelerating rate in this world 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within finding suffering comedy, I am literally saying that this world is funny, that starvation is funny, that ww3 is funny, that the end of all human life on earth is funny, when in common sense we can all see that there is no real comedy in this world that exists currently, the only comedy that exists here is we humans, what we allow within ourselves, what we believe, what we fear, how we allow ourselves to interact, how we allow ourselves to be in all ways. It’s a sick joke but definitely one can look at it as being funny, which is why some of the best comedians ever from my perspective make majority of their jokes about humanity in general such as George Carlin, Bill Hicks and others. And ultimately anyone in common sense can point out through comedy that although how we humans exist can be seen as comical, the consequence of how we humans exist is not comical as we see atrocities inside ourselves and in the world around us accumulate. It’s time to change.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to find any comedy whatsoever when I see another person being hurt.

I commit myself to not reacting according to my pre-programmed mind as this sadist character when I see programs like ridiculousness, as I realize that within this pre-programmed reaction and acceptance of the sadist character engaged from this reaction, that I am in complete separation of myself where I am not present as breathe which is unacceptable.

I commit myself to exposing all programs like ridiculousness and jackass to be promoters of sadistic personality characters within and as humans as I have tested for myself.

I commit myself to not reacting according to the mind, which will result in not allowing myself to create a “gauge of enjoyment” in my mind while watching these kinds of sadistic programs, where it is the most painful stunt/clip gone wrong that I find to be the funniest, as I realize that if a guy is jumping of his swimming pool, or jumping off mount Everest, there is no comedy within a person getting hurt from either of these scenarios.

I commit myself to living the realization that when pain happens to me I do not laugh so there is no justification to laugh at anyone else’s whether self-induced or not. I realize that abuse is abuse, and that my body is no more valuable than anyone else’s, to claim that while I’m not being hurt its ok to laugh at others being hurt is to basically say that self –interest at the expense of life is ok, when that is complete bullshit and deception which I’m not willing to accept as myself.

I commit myself to living the realization that the only joke existing here on earth is how we humans can be so stupid to allow such atrocities to exist in our world as we currently have and then believe we are not responsible, when we have always been responsible.

When and as I see I am “transforming” into this sadist character within watching a program like ridiculousness or jackass, I stop and breathe. I do not allow myself to exist in separation of myself as a mind possession. I realize that there is no comedy whatsoever in any person being hurt of any kind in this world, no matter the person’s age, job, intent, beliefs etc. I commit myself to breathing in discipline as who I really am, to remain stable in every way where in common sense I direct myself as the principle of what’s best for all which is a world created as me in each moment where no pain of another is ever found to be comedy again.