So today i was pushing myself to stick to my schedule, and i found it really did help extensively to map things out and look at how im utilizing my time, to get things done as effectively as possible. While having alot of tasks to do, it is so practical to be able to slow down within and as breathe and take on each point one at a time, so that im not attempting to take on more then i can handle in this breathe here, because that has been a problem for me in the past, attempting to do more then i am practically able to do in one moment. remaining stable is of the upmost importance in all moments, looking at each point as it comes in self honesty, and seeing weather or not my application within the point is effective, have i done the task to the best of my ability with no mind shit getting in the way.
But after a stable morning, it was when i took my mobile to the phone shop to get an upgrade to a new phone that me allowing myself to go into the mind as reactions started happening. So im used to Sony Ericsons, but my Sony phone was getting worn down from alot of usage for work through the years, and has been deteriorating rapidly ever since i dropped it down a hotel toilet a month back before i left the hotel to see Joao and Joana. Anyway so the guy in the shop suggested to get an upgrade and recommended the new Samsung Galaxy, and being as the upgrade was free i went ahead to get the upgrade as it was just practical for me to have a more effective phone. Anyway its a touch screen phone which im not used to, and when i got home, i had to text and call all of my team working in various stores around southern england to get updates on how they were doing.
But when i tried making a template text to send out to all of them, i couldnt figure out how to do it, and i lost my stability and discipline here, i started reacting, going into thoughts of annoyance, confusion, fear and blame towards this piece of technology, and judging myself because i couldnt immediately understand how to work this new phone. And after about half an hour of experiencing myself in this state, i realized how unstable i was allowing myself to be because of me allowing a phone to trigger me into this reaction. So i put the phone in my pocket i sat down, and applied four count breathe, getting myself back to here, and then i started to consider, why have i allowed this phone to affect me so much? how did i get to this point? have i done this before,? and if so where is the starting point?
And interesting that upon further investigation i realized that i have allowed this many times in my life, where i will get confused by a piece of new technology, then i will start blaming the object for the fact that i cant understand how to operate it, getting extremely annoyed by a piece of technology that wont do what i want it to do, and fearing being labbeled as stupid for not knowing how to do it. Its like percieving that the object has a design fault because i cant understand it, that it should be able to explain itself to me, without considering in the moment of the reaction arising that it is me that is flawed in design by allowing myself to go into these kind of reactions as the mind as my ego. I also start judging myself as being stupid, incapable and just unworthy of having the technology whenever im not understanding it. I noticed that i have allowed this in my process also, not often, but now and then when a point is shared that i am not in full understanding of, then i start going into self judgements about why i cant understand it, and in my mind start blaming the person sharing the point, that they are not explaining effectively because i do not underdstand it. which of course is me allowing my ego and fear to spill out all over everything and compromise my stability as life here.
For example i remember when i was about 7 having a tamagochi thing at school, where you have to look after a computer game egg, and make it develop into a full adult chicken. I remember not understanding it at one point, and then on the playground i just reacted and went into pure frustation, so i threw the tamagochi on the ground which broke it completely, because at that time i didnt know how to stop myself, breathe and release the point after the initial reaction, and then i judged myself as stupid for not understanding and breaking this tamagochi, because i could see that loads of kids on the playground had theirs and knew how to work it properly, while i didnt, which at the time i allowed to make me feel stupid. So many times i can recall, throwing a computer game controller at the wall, or throwing the tv remote, hitting the tv/aerial aggresively when the picture isnt clear, shouting at it, And basically allowing myself to go into and getting mind possessed by thoughts, emotions and feelings in relation to technology.
And i can see that unconsciouslly alot of these reactions, come from me observing how effective machines are in this world, and in a way experiencing a form of jealousy, at how perfectly the machine equates and completes tasks, while man is lost in his helpless world of thoughts, feelings and emotions that compromise the task being completed effectively. For example i remember when i was about 9 in maths class at school, and the teacher was explaining how to do a certain mathematical equation. and then he gave us all calculators, and asked us to do our own version of what he just did with the help of a calculator. I did the sum on the calculator, and i can remember exactly all those years back experiencing thoughts like "wow this calculator gave me the answer in 1 second, but my teacher took about 2 whole minutes to give me the answer" "these machines are so impressive and powerful" "its kind of scary how quickly machines can do things compared to the human"
And then obviously thorough the years i have added layers and layers to this point of reacting in fear and confusion to the machine, i mean i loved terminator 1/2 when i was about 11, i watched it repeatedly and even re-enacted scenes very often on my own, and sometimes with friends, and i have probably watched terminator 2 more then any film in my life, which of course promotes fear of the machine.
I mean if i ever am not understanding a new piece of technology that i buy, or not understanding anything for that matter, then that is only because i havent stood equal and one with the information, understanding fully how the system operates, and then appliying that understanding in my daily living. Confusion only comes from ineffective research, I mean if i dont do the research for any point, then that means i wont be able to intergrate and stand equal as the knowledge im looking at, and thus will not be able to apply the knowledge practically here, which only fucks me up. So if i want to understand fully how to operate my new mobile, then i must take the time to read the whole manual, so that by the end of reading i will be able to intergrate that knowledge, meaning i will then be able to operate the phone fully.
Also on another note, machines will be utilized and programmed to "run the system" in a equal money system to support all life equally and allocate digital payment of everbodies basic need credits, so that nobody is left out, because the machine equates numbers with precision, and so it is important for everybody to come to terms with and release any reactions we are allowing towards machines and new technology, so we can look at it in self honesty and walk with the point in equality.
So anyway, im grateful for these recations, because its awesome to have these points to cross reference myself next time i am not understanding a piece of technology, i will be ready with my self support tools armed next time this point comes up so that i can move myself to a self honest starting point here in relation to Machines.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to react to a piece technology in confusion from myself here as life.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to not realize that anytime i am confused by a point, it is actually showing me how ineffective my research and application has been on a point.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to react within and as the mind as ego to a piece of technology in annoyance that i cannot immediately understand it.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to not realize that within me allowing a perception that i must immediately understand something without doing the effective research, and walking equally as the point, that i am in essence allowing my ego to possess me.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to blame the machine as something different to me here as this one physical reality.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to experience frustation with a a piece of technology, because i see how precise machines are, and thus i expect the machine to be able to do an equation for me, and give me the answer so that i dont have to do any work.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to percieve in my mind that if i cant understand a piece of technology immediately, then i allow myself to view the piece of technology as a "failed saviour".
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to percieve in my mind separated from myself here as life, that machines must save mankind from ourselves, when it is us here standing as life that must save ourselves from ourselves and direct a new system of equality into being as ourselves.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to blame separating myself within and as the mind within a perception of ego that if i cant understand this object/point/person then it is them that has the design fault not me.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to accumilate a fear of the power of the machine in separation from myself here as this breathe, that machines are something more then me here as life.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to be pre programmed by the film and media industry to fear the machine, that the machine will oneday destroy us all.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to experience jealousy towards a machine, because of me allowing myself to react in fear and jealousy to how quickly machines equate an answer.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to judge myself as stupid because i am am not immediately understanding a point, weather it be machines or people.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to experience annoyance and jealousy towards machines that they never have to apply them selves on points, because the machine doesnt think, get emotional or feel about things, and thus never compromises a task, it just follow its programming and does the task required in its programming.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to allow myself to blame a piece of technology as to why i accept instability in any moment.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to justify my blame of the machine, because the machine is not actually breating, thus it is me giving myself the permission to abuse machines in complete separation from what is here, within and as the mind.
I stop, I forgive, I breathe, I stick to this breathe in Self Honesty, until the point of Self Decpetion is Here no further.
But after a stable morning, it was when i took my mobile to the phone shop to get an upgrade to a new phone that me allowing myself to go into the mind as reactions started happening. So im used to Sony Ericsons, but my Sony phone was getting worn down from alot of usage for work through the years, and has been deteriorating rapidly ever since i dropped it down a hotel toilet a month back before i left the hotel to see Joao and Joana. Anyway so the guy in the shop suggested to get an upgrade and recommended the new Samsung Galaxy, and being as the upgrade was free i went ahead to get the upgrade as it was just practical for me to have a more effective phone. Anyway its a touch screen phone which im not used to, and when i got home, i had to text and call all of my team working in various stores around southern england to get updates on how they were doing.
But when i tried making a template text to send out to all of them, i couldnt figure out how to do it, and i lost my stability and discipline here, i started reacting, going into thoughts of annoyance, confusion, fear and blame towards this piece of technology, and judging myself because i couldnt immediately understand how to work this new phone. And after about half an hour of experiencing myself in this state, i realized how unstable i was allowing myself to be because of me allowing a phone to trigger me into this reaction. So i put the phone in my pocket i sat down, and applied four count breathe, getting myself back to here, and then i started to consider, why have i allowed this phone to affect me so much? how did i get to this point? have i done this before,? and if so where is the starting point?
And interesting that upon further investigation i realized that i have allowed this many times in my life, where i will get confused by a piece of new technology, then i will start blaming the object for the fact that i cant understand how to operate it, getting extremely annoyed by a piece of technology that wont do what i want it to do, and fearing being labbeled as stupid for not knowing how to do it. Its like percieving that the object has a design fault because i cant understand it, that it should be able to explain itself to me, without considering in the moment of the reaction arising that it is me that is flawed in design by allowing myself to go into these kind of reactions as the mind as my ego. I also start judging myself as being stupid, incapable and just unworthy of having the technology whenever im not understanding it. I noticed that i have allowed this in my process also, not often, but now and then when a point is shared that i am not in full understanding of, then i start going into self judgements about why i cant understand it, and in my mind start blaming the person sharing the point, that they are not explaining effectively because i do not underdstand it. which of course is me allowing my ego and fear to spill out all over everything and compromise my stability as life here.
For example i remember when i was about 7 having a tamagochi thing at school, where you have to look after a computer game egg, and make it develop into a full adult chicken. I remember not understanding it at one point, and then on the playground i just reacted and went into pure frustation, so i threw the tamagochi on the ground which broke it completely, because at that time i didnt know how to stop myself, breathe and release the point after the initial reaction, and then i judged myself as stupid for not understanding and breaking this tamagochi, because i could see that loads of kids on the playground had theirs and knew how to work it properly, while i didnt, which at the time i allowed to make me feel stupid. So many times i can recall, throwing a computer game controller at the wall, or throwing the tv remote, hitting the tv/aerial aggresively when the picture isnt clear, shouting at it, And basically allowing myself to go into and getting mind possessed by thoughts, emotions and feelings in relation to technology.
And i can see that unconsciouslly alot of these reactions, come from me observing how effective machines are in this world, and in a way experiencing a form of jealousy, at how perfectly the machine equates and completes tasks, while man is lost in his helpless world of thoughts, feelings and emotions that compromise the task being completed effectively. For example i remember when i was about 9 in maths class at school, and the teacher was explaining how to do a certain mathematical equation. and then he gave us all calculators, and asked us to do our own version of what he just did with the help of a calculator. I did the sum on the calculator, and i can remember exactly all those years back experiencing thoughts like "wow this calculator gave me the answer in 1 second, but my teacher took about 2 whole minutes to give me the answer" "these machines are so impressive and powerful" "its kind of scary how quickly machines can do things compared to the human"
And then obviously thorough the years i have added layers and layers to this point of reacting in fear and confusion to the machine, i mean i loved terminator 1/2 when i was about 11, i watched it repeatedly and even re-enacted scenes very often on my own, and sometimes with friends, and i have probably watched terminator 2 more then any film in my life, which of course promotes fear of the machine.
I mean if i ever am not understanding a new piece of technology that i buy, or not understanding anything for that matter, then that is only because i havent stood equal and one with the information, understanding fully how the system operates, and then appliying that understanding in my daily living. Confusion only comes from ineffective research, I mean if i dont do the research for any point, then that means i wont be able to intergrate and stand equal as the knowledge im looking at, and thus will not be able to apply the knowledge practically here, which only fucks me up. So if i want to understand fully how to operate my new mobile, then i must take the time to read the whole manual, so that by the end of reading i will be able to intergrate that knowledge, meaning i will then be able to operate the phone fully.
Also on another note, machines will be utilized and programmed to "run the system" in a equal money system to support all life equally and allocate digital payment of everbodies basic need credits, so that nobody is left out, because the machine equates numbers with precision, and so it is important for everybody to come to terms with and release any reactions we are allowing towards machines and new technology, so we can look at it in self honesty and walk with the point in equality.
So anyway, im grateful for these recations, because its awesome to have these points to cross reference myself next time i am not understanding a piece of technology, i will be ready with my self support tools armed next time this point comes up so that i can move myself to a self honest starting point here in relation to Machines.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to react to a piece technology in confusion from myself here as life.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to not realize that anytime i am confused by a point, it is actually showing me how ineffective my research and application has been on a point.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to react within and as the mind as ego to a piece of technology in annoyance that i cannot immediately understand it.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to not realize that within me allowing a perception that i must immediately understand something without doing the effective research, and walking equally as the point, that i am in essence allowing my ego to possess me.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to blame the machine as something different to me here as this one physical reality.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to experience frustation with a a piece of technology, because i see how precise machines are, and thus i expect the machine to be able to do an equation for me, and give me the answer so that i dont have to do any work.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to percieve in my mind that if i cant understand a piece of technology immediately, then i allow myself to view the piece of technology as a "failed saviour".
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to percieve in my mind separated from myself here as life, that machines must save mankind from ourselves, when it is us here standing as life that must save ourselves from ourselves and direct a new system of equality into being as ourselves.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to blame separating myself within and as the mind within a perception of ego that if i cant understand this object/point/person then it is them that has the design fault not me.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to accumilate a fear of the power of the machine in separation from myself here as this breathe, that machines are something more then me here as life.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to be pre programmed by the film and media industry to fear the machine, that the machine will oneday destroy us all.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to experience jealousy towards a machine, because of me allowing myself to react in fear and jealousy to how quickly machines equate an answer.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to judge myself as stupid because i am am not immediately understanding a point, weather it be machines or people.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to experience annoyance and jealousy towards machines that they never have to apply them selves on points, because the machine doesnt think, get emotional or feel about things, and thus never compromises a task, it just follow its programming and does the task required in its programming.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to allow myself to blame a piece of technology as to why i accept instability in any moment.
I forgive myself that i have allowed and accepted myself to justify my blame of the machine, because the machine is not actually breating, thus it is me giving myself the permission to abuse machines in complete separation from what is here, within and as the mind.
I stop, I forgive, I breathe, I stick to this breathe in Self Honesty, until the point of Self Decpetion is Here no further.
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