Day 357: Pain

It's interesting how one can allow the mind to believe it is impervious to pain, while in physical reality nobody is impervious to pain. We all have various athletic capacities and durability, but everybody has there pain threshold that they cannot go beyond to be fully functional.

When our pain threshold is breached, then our ability to focus here on anything else essentially goes out of the window, pain is all encompassing and you are helpless to it, enslaved to it until the pain is physically supported and healed.

I have been reminded of that with two moments this month, a decaying wisdom tooth at the back of my mouth that requires removal and on Friday night there was a very high jump off a subway which caused me to sprain my ankle badly even though i kept running pretending i wasn't hurt in the moment.

Both these events have shown me that regardless of what my ego says, pain can affect me like anybody else. I have noticed how I have allowed my athleticism and mental toughness to cloud my understanding of this fact, that I will always be ok and no fear of pain or pain itself can stop me from acquiring my target and completing my mission.

The reality is of course that if i had dealt with my wisdom tooth earlier on the pain would be less right now and if i didn't jump off that subway like the little spiderman ninja I define myself as, then my ankle would be fine and I wouldn't be hobbling around like I have been the past few days.

This pattern of thinking pain cannot afflict me, paying no attention to the consequence of my actions on my physical body is unacceptable and must be stopped in order for me to live what is bets for all life -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that physical pain cannot affect me, that i have no threshold that i cannot go beyond to complete my objective. In reality I realise this is a complete delusion of my pre-programmed mind a pattern in separation from physical reality, because in self-honesty here, I have a pain threshold i cannot go beyond to function effectively like anybody else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being impervious to pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of times in my life when people, or events in life have tried to physically hurt me and I have always been tough enough to get through it to get the job done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as weak if i fear pain or cant handle pain, when in actual fact fear of pain can be a support as it can be realigned to common sense to look after the body, to avoid unnecessary harm to the body which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that I have reacted to my body's natural athleticism and toughness and used this as a justification as to have no care about the consequence of pain on my body in any situation, which is reckless and self-sabotaging, which is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as some kind of spiderman ninja that is never off balance or acknowledging of pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react every time someone comments on my speed, strength or durability as another layer on this character which believes he is impervious to pain when he is not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exaggerate my physical capabilities and limitations within and as my pre-programmed mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget how debilitating pain can be when it hits you hard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that my idea of myself is an ant in the face of physical existence, my body no matter how it is designed, no matter how i think or feel about it must be looked after, I can never afford to underestimate how quickly physical reality can remind me of my bodies limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that when pain comes, i can focus on nothing else - my ability to do anything effectively is severely compromised as the pain overrides my focus, thus one must always respect pains power and not throw caution to the wind about the consequences of pain on my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepte and allowed myself not to realise that ignoring pain, disrespecting pain is a major problem humanity has as to why so many suffer in pain everyday and nobody speaks up for these people. We believe that you should just deal with pain yourself and you can "take anything" when this has always been based in separation to keep the status quo in place where we are all slave sto a system of haves and have nots.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to disregard [ain ever again, so as and when i see my mind having thoughts that the consequence of pain to my body is irrelevant i stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage with these thoughts as in doing so would only put my body in situations of receiving unnecessary physical pain, so i continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that pain is a real part of this world that is able to affect anyone's life at anytime, which is why pain must be respected and so bringing pain onto ourselves through pre-programmed behavioural patterns makes no sense as it is just self-sabotage.

I commit myself to making sure i expose this system of ignoring pain in this world that allows for billions to suffer in painful silence while humanity does nothing.