Day 356: Demons running riot part 2

Continuing from my last blog -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in recent years when this energy system of wildness around Halloween is coming up and possessing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in every breath that a world where demonic behaviour runs riot is not a world that is needed to be continued as it only causes harm to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of depression around my grandfather and Bernards death in a short period of time as justifications for allowing demonic behaviour as wild partying when there is an excuse too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a pattern of sadness about important people to me being taken by death and using that as an excuse to fall in love so to speak with anything that reminds me of the darkness of death such as Halloween.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do too much alcohol and drugs when this wildness character takes hold of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the word Halloween as automatically meaning party, where every responsibility I have is disregarded, which is unacceptable abuse so I must stop participation with this pattern as it is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that damaging my body when there is work to be done or at any time is never acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard work and even sleep as this demon running riot character which again only causes damaging consequences to my life which is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that this very point im allowing of finding excuses to disregard my responsibilities and focus on my own selfish warped energetic happiness is the exact problem that has caused the world to be the way it is now, where so many suffer in silence because me and all us elite humans are ignoring reality in favour of our wild partying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this "dark knight" where I always wear black, watch a lot of sad films, listen to a lot of sad music and desire to be around things that remind me of the darkness of death, which is just separation and thus not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to to be around things that remind me of death  and how crazy this world is such as Halloween.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that having some fun from a starting point of what's best for all in physical reality, is completely different from having fun from a starting point of a self-interested energy system in separation from physical reality.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to become this wildness at halloween character in future, as it does not support me to live what's best for all - so as and when I see my mind shifting having thoughts coming up I stop and breathe, I realise the dangers of participation with these thoughts, so I continue to breathe, until there is no more thoughts coming up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that when I am having fun from a clear starting point, I am not damaging my body and while I smile and laugh I still remain aware of and look after my responsibilities and health.