So i have rubbed my knuckle on my index finger, on my left hand for years, only this knuckle, but occassionally my right hand also, and i notice that its everytime i am deep in thought, or concern manifested about a point then i start rubbing my knuckle, very similar to the point i shared recently about biting my mouth. i have been doing this for years, i can remember being concerned in the middle of an exam at school when i was 11, i was concerned that i will not pass, because i got stuck on a question, so that manifested in me biting my mouth and rubbing my knuckle. Its like a comfort and satisfaction point, that i get energy from, and have been addicted to for a long time, but in self honesty is clearly impractical, and is just not required in anyway whatsoever.
Im still getting thoughts coming up of biting my mouth, and sometimes i fall and i start biting my mouth in a timeloop, unaware until a second after i have started biting that i am doing it, but i am continuing to apply myself and breathe, so the inside of my mouth has healed extensiveley. However, i noticed today while i was driving on the way to do a review on one of my team members, that i started rubbing my knuckle, as i knew it was a very emotional member of the team that i was going to review, who doesnt take onbaord constructive criticism well, and i was also stuck in traffic running a bit late. So i was going into the mind here, into thoughts like "this guy always wants to argue with my support" "this review could take a while" "come on traffic move, i dont want to be late" Then i noticed i was going into these thoughts, and rubbing my knuckle which was obviously the outflow of me participating in these thoughts of "concern" in my head, so i stopped separating myself from what is here, by applying self forgiveness outloud and sticking to breathe.
Then later in the evening i was watching tv, and i started rubbing my knuckle as i started reacting and "getting into" meaning going into the mind about the tv series criminal minds. I have never watched it before, but i thought i would watch it after Bella recommended it in her recent vlog, and i found that i really enjoyed it, however i only caught it after it had already been on for 20 minutes, and soon after, i allowed myself to react to the programme. Thoughts came up like "I wish i had watched this from the start", "this programme is cool how they are mapping out the killers mind", "All this effort to catch one guy must cost alot of money", and so as i was going into thoughts like this, i began rubbing my knuckle, and i was stuck in this "mindstate" for about 10 minutes, then i started releasing the thoughts through breathe, stabilizing myself.
So it seems that i start rubbing my knuckle when i am going into, participating within and as a specific thought, although it does not seem to matter what kind of thought, its just any thought that comes up that i dwel on, and then i end up allowing myself to rub my knuckle as an outflow of participation in thoughts, which has already had a consequence, by the fact that the skin on my left hand index finger knuckle is very thin and smooth, because of the many years of rubbing this knuckle. So this point much like biting the mouth, will take some time to fully transcend, as it is such a deeply ingrained system. But i take self responsibility here to walk this point until here no further no matter how long it takes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to a point as a thought, and then through my participation in a thought, physically play out my focus on a thought by rubbing my knuckle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compound this point within and as the mind, by not allowing myself to face myself, take self responsibility, direct and release this point of separation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perpetuate such an impractical point.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get addicted to the action and energy i allow to be provided by rubbing my knuckle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find pleasure in rubbing my knuckle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stopping rubbing my knuckle by justifying the action within a "nice feeling" that i get from it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knuckle to the words, satisfaction, addiction, rubbing, thoughts and energy.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knuckle within and as the mind through the words satisfaction, addiction, rubbing, thoughts and energy in total spearation and limitation of each word, of myself here as life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress memories inside me, that i allow to mainfest in the form of me rubbing my knuckle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a memory of me worrying about passing an exam when i was 11 to the experience of me rubbing my knuckle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself by holding onto this memory of me worrying about passing an exam when i was 11, to rubbing my knuckle. I now allow myself to release this point of total separation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to percieve as a thought within and as the mind, that if i have smooth knuckle, then i have a "cool knuckle" lol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself, connect a thought and physically play out a thought by rubbing my knuckle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from what is here physically, and from the physical expereince of rubbing my knuckle, by going into the mind and reacting to thoughts.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to what i am experience here by going into the mind and thus limiting myself within the physical experience here.
I am here as this breathe, in self honesty, and thus i do not require to hold onto and compound this point in anyway whatsoever, because it is not supportive in establishing myself as a system of unconditional support for all in equality and oneness - i take self responsibility here to direct and release this point out of existance.
Im still getting thoughts coming up of biting my mouth, and sometimes i fall and i start biting my mouth in a timeloop, unaware until a second after i have started biting that i am doing it, but i am continuing to apply myself and breathe, so the inside of my mouth has healed extensiveley. However, i noticed today while i was driving on the way to do a review on one of my team members, that i started rubbing my knuckle, as i knew it was a very emotional member of the team that i was going to review, who doesnt take onbaord constructive criticism well, and i was also stuck in traffic running a bit late. So i was going into the mind here, into thoughts like "this guy always wants to argue with my support" "this review could take a while" "come on traffic move, i dont want to be late" Then i noticed i was going into these thoughts, and rubbing my knuckle which was obviously the outflow of me participating in these thoughts of "concern" in my head, so i stopped separating myself from what is here, by applying self forgiveness outloud and sticking to breathe.
Then later in the evening i was watching tv, and i started rubbing my knuckle as i started reacting and "getting into" meaning going into the mind about the tv series criminal minds. I have never watched it before, but i thought i would watch it after Bella recommended it in her recent vlog, and i found that i really enjoyed it, however i only caught it after it had already been on for 20 minutes, and soon after, i allowed myself to react to the programme. Thoughts came up like "I wish i had watched this from the start", "this programme is cool how they are mapping out the killers mind", "All this effort to catch one guy must cost alot of money", and so as i was going into thoughts like this, i began rubbing my knuckle, and i was stuck in this "mindstate" for about 10 minutes, then i started releasing the thoughts through breathe, stabilizing myself.
So it seems that i start rubbing my knuckle when i am going into, participating within and as a specific thought, although it does not seem to matter what kind of thought, its just any thought that comes up that i dwel on, and then i end up allowing myself to rub my knuckle as an outflow of participation in thoughts, which has already had a consequence, by the fact that the skin on my left hand index finger knuckle is very thin and smooth, because of the many years of rubbing this knuckle. So this point much like biting the mouth, will take some time to fully transcend, as it is such a deeply ingrained system. But i take self responsibility here to walk this point until here no further no matter how long it takes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to a point as a thought, and then through my participation in a thought, physically play out my focus on a thought by rubbing my knuckle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compound this point within and as the mind, by not allowing myself to face myself, take self responsibility, direct and release this point of separation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perpetuate such an impractical point.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get addicted to the action and energy i allow to be provided by rubbing my knuckle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find pleasure in rubbing my knuckle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stopping rubbing my knuckle by justifying the action within a "nice feeling" that i get from it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knuckle to the words, satisfaction, addiction, rubbing, thoughts and energy.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knuckle within and as the mind through the words satisfaction, addiction, rubbing, thoughts and energy in total spearation and limitation of each word, of myself here as life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress memories inside me, that i allow to mainfest in the form of me rubbing my knuckle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a memory of me worrying about passing an exam when i was 11 to the experience of me rubbing my knuckle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself by holding onto this memory of me worrying about passing an exam when i was 11, to rubbing my knuckle. I now allow myself to release this point of total separation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to percieve as a thought within and as the mind, that if i have smooth knuckle, then i have a "cool knuckle" lol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself, connect a thought and physically play out a thought by rubbing my knuckle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from what is here physically, and from the physical expereince of rubbing my knuckle, by going into the mind and reacting to thoughts.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to what i am experience here by going into the mind and thus limiting myself within the physical experience here.
I am here as this breathe, in self honesty, and thus i do not require to hold onto and compound this point in anyway whatsoever, because it is not supportive in establishing myself as a system of unconditional support for all in equality and oneness - i take self responsibility here to direct and release this point out of existance.
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