My Son

So after doing some longer shifts at work the last few weeks with the "ideal home" show, then in the evenings staying in a hotel, doing my ITD and watching a few vlogs. Then on sunday evening i picked up my son and he is still with me now, im taking him back to his mums on thursday morning, but everytime i have him i notice how cool it is to work with children in my process. Its just so interesting, such cool self support, to see the reactions that come up, then continually apply myself on the point through self writing/self forgiveness and sticking to whats here through breathe.

I mean my son is 1 year and 9 months old, and the first time i had him stay round my house without his mum was 7 months ago. And at that time i allowed myself to get so stressed about the basics required to support my son, such as feeding him, dressing him, changing his nappy, bathing him, keeping him away from potential dangerous stuff - mean i would just react as a mind zombie everytime, but over the past 6 months i have been applying myself on points of resistance in relation to my son, so i will just share a few here now.

When i used to feed him, i would get thoughts come up while i was feeding him of "your so lucky mate, my dad never did this for me" and "hurry up and swallow your food so i can eat mine" and then i would go into this thought, this ego point of resenting my son slightly, and wanting to eat at the same time as him - and i would thus start acting out this mind point physically by rushing him while he is eating, kind of shuvelling the food in his mouth rather then actually feeding him properly giving him time, which lead to him throwing up his food a few times, and then me blaming him in thought after because my top or trousers got some puke on them - totally unacceptable, it was exactly the same shit that was coming up while i was dressing him, where i would start rushing his clothes on out of a manifested "annoyance", anyway so then i started noticing that i was doing these points after a few weeks, and so everytime these thoughts came up, i just applied myself continuosly by speaking forgiveness, and sticking to breathe, to the point where now, i just feed my son unconditionally as and when he requires it, not rushing him, regardless of wether or not i have eaten first, without going into the mind about it, just sticking to breathe supporting the being uncondtionally, which at the same time supports me in being able to spot when im going into the mind and direct the point - so i have become very stable in relation to feeding my son now.

Changing his nappies has been another fascinating point also, where 7 months ago, i would still change his nappies back then, but i would just go into the mind about it all the time with thoughts like "oh why did you have to take a shit now malachi" "i cant be bothered to face this shit now" "i hope its not a runny one" which would manifest as me taking ages to do it, like waiting up to an hour after he had shitted in his nappy to face it, and correct it, sort of purposely prolonging it because at the time i was going into the ego as the mind wanting to come before my son, that whatever i was doing i perceived i "needed" to finish first, actually allowing that point of competition with my own son - totally unacceptable. And just like with the food and every other point, i started walking out any resistances in relation to my sons shitting patterns through sticking to breathe, sticking to whats manifest here, to the point where now i immediately change his nappy as soon as possible after i have smelled it, and i will take my time to make sure i have cleaned him effectively, because we all need to shit and its cool to stand equal and one as the shit everytime it comes so i dont go into the mind about it, so that no nomore then the shit is existing - no extra shit ontop of the shit

And when he is playing on the floor for instance and im busy on the phone to a work colleague, making diner, washing up, feeding the dogs, or blogging about something etc - then he might start walking towards the cables behind the tv, or picking up a pen of the table and putting it in his mouth nib first, or trying to fiddle with the knobs on the cooker for exmaple - all of which have happened but whenever he used to do these things, i would immediately react to stop him, but not from a perspective of directing him to whats best for all in the situation, it would be from the perspective of seeing him do something potentially dangerous, reacting to that by moving myself to stop him, but also reacting in my mind with blaming thoughts towards my son. Sort of shouting and blaming him for putting himself in danger, blaming him for disrupting my focus on a particular point, which is ridiculous because he obviously knows no better. Its so cool because i have stopped doing this for the past five months now, where if i see him doing something potentially dangerous, i just move myself physically to direct him away from the danger, without reacting as blaming thoughts about it, instead just remaining stable within and as breathe and just stand in unconditional support of my son, explainig to him how he is able to support himself, and avoid dangers of reality through common sense, and this i will explain calmly but directly with him from a starting point of physical support, not fear of him being hurt.

So i find it very cool working with my son, building a relationship of stability, a foundation from which whats best for all is practically lived - so i have realised and released some points within myself in relation to my son, and here i am just sharing a few points that has been corrected in the last 6 months, so i will share anymore findings as and when they come up - cheers.