Day 62: Arrogance and Superiority at Work Part 3 - Self-Forgiveness/Living Commitments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as an Arrogance/superiority character within and as the mind whenever I am training new staff at the company I work for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as an arrogance/superiority character within and as the mind whenever I am in a situation where I am explaining to someone younger than me something that I have knowledge and experience of physically applying when the person younger than me doesn’t. I realize I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as this character as means of experiencing myself as an energy of something “great and godly” trying to create slave followers that revere my word within which I am existing in complete separation of myself from physical reality as self-dishonesty where I accept abuse to exist in my world and my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as this arrogance/superiority character as a means to receive energy as an attempt to experience myself as god dominant over the other being in my space.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create obedient servant’s to my word through enslaving the being with the use of knowledge, where I sit on a pedestal of self-righteousness and will accept no word against mine by the younger trainee.  I realize that through seeking validation of my “higher knowledge” within someone else, I am clearly revealing my starting point as ego where I completely trap myself and all other beings as self-imprisoning cycles of trapped time where it is impossible to make self-responsible movements to live what’s best for all, and I’m am not willing to accept this dishonesty to continue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a self-belief that while I’m existing as this arrogance/superiority “godly experience” that I am on a pedestal way above the understanding of these younger beings as having an apparent “higher knowledge”. Which regardless of whether or not I have more knowledge then anyone in this world is irrelevant, because all are equal as life and thus I realize that knowledge must be used in a way to support all beings here on earth equally from a starting point of breathe, not from a starting point of the mind as self-interested ego seeking victory over others, which is inequality, which is unacceptable to allow. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand in all moments that there is no such thing as a “god pedestal” above anyone else as it only exist in my mind and is abusive to life, and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the “highest pedestal that can practically be attained so to speak, is the walking as self-directive principle of life within and as breathe in each and every moment where I live that which is physically of the highest benefit to all beings here.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to experience myself as god above others at any moment in my life, and I realize that the blind acceptance of that want, in fact simply reveals the fact that I am not living what is best for all, that I am not existing here as breathe in complete comfortablility as my physical body in every moment, but that I am in fact trying to create myself in my mind as more than the physical, that I judge myself as “not good enough” as I am, and that I am wanting to have powers over another, all of which are completely unacceptable sabotage of myself.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to attain power, to exist as more then my physical body through accepting this arrogance/superiority character as myself, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being “not good enough” as I am here. I realize that this is all just existing in my mind as complete limitation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak down to people that are younger than me joining the company within and as this arrogance/superiority character where every word I speak is completely weighted with the forked tongue of continual sarcasm playing mind games with the person which I take self-responsibility to stop as myself now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this arrogance/superiority that I become around new recruits that are younger then me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the experience of arrogance/superiority in my mind to what I imagine the experience of being god must be like according to a fucked up Idea I have created and accepted growing up as how I imagine god to be, which is basically an arsehole full of its own shit, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to experience myself as this god I have been taught about growing up, which is clearly abusive to all life, and based in the functionality of ego, thus is finite as energy and not real so must not be accepted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity in relation to new staff that I recruit, where I immediately will pre-judge the new recruit as “good” or “bad” for the job according to how old they are, when I realize that this valued judgement is only existing in my mind through my allowance and simply feeds into the separation of myself and all others here, I realize that all beings are equally life and so I must not have any judgements about a person regardless of their age, gender, race, beliefs etc., because we are all flesh and bone and should be thus all treated equally as flesh and bone, giving what I would like to receive, which is equality. So I remove this self-created polarity now.  I delete and rescript myself to support life equally in every way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking on recruits that are younger than me because of believing that all young people are inherently lazy and do not have the professional commitment required to be effective at this job, which regardless of whether that is true or not about a person, it is ridiculous to create all this shit in my head, because in fact anyone of any age can learn to be effective at this job, which I also realize thus requires me to train each new recruit equally as life, not from as starting point of arrogance/superiority as the mind which is complete inequality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my acceptance and allowance of myself as this arrogance/superiority character when I see that a youngster is being lazy on the job, when regardless of whether someone is being lazy or not, it is best for all to exist here as breathe in total stability, where I tell the person to stop being lazy, without projecting myself as this arrogance/superiority mind fuck.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as being offended when someone younger than me disagrees with me about something in relation to the job, because of believing that my way is the only way for a younger person to do the job, and desiring to almost create clones of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the way i want the job done is the only way to do the job which is not true.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to create clones of myself in relation to how youngsters work the job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that all young people that come to the company should experience themselves as hugely privileged to get the job, when in fact this is how I experienced myself when I first came to the company because of struggling to find work at the time. I realize though that everybody has different experiences and memories, thus some will feel privileged to get the job and some wont, and regardless of if they do or don’t, I should not be expecting anyone to experience themselves as privileged for having the job, as many do not understand how capitalism works.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to memories of young staff leaving after a short time, and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create judgements about others according to memory as if memory is real when it isn’t, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my starting point as this arrogance/superiority character  around young staff believing that my memories will play out again, when I do not know this for a fact ever. I realize that I cannot control what another person is experiencing, I do not know if and when anyone at any age will leave the company, so it is pointless to base anything I’m doing based on “negative” memories of others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience annoyance as this arrogance/superiority character when I see that a young member of staff is accepting and allowing something that will affect the person’s effectiveness at the job such as alcohol/drug addiction and emotional relationships. When I realize that it is best for all to suggest to the person that they focus on the job during work hours and in general work on being more effective in all areas of their life without getting annoyed as this arrogance/superiority character when they are accepting a self-sabotaging cycle. I cannot change another, so I must simply work with the person from a stable starting point as breathe.

I forgive myself that I have not realized in every moment that a young member of staff doesn’t listen to me, that I am in fact looking in the mirror, because when I was young I really didn’t listen to majority of older people either, where I purposely accepted self-sabotaging patterns, hurting myself and others as a form of rebellion to older people. And so I realize that existing as this arrogance/superiority character does not assist me or the young member of staff in living what’s best for all, in fact it furthers the separation of ourselves, and so I must stop this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being overtaken by a “new rising star” in the company whenever we recruit someone younger than me, because i realize that I have defined myself as “the rising star” in the company for well over 4 years, and so I feel threatened when someone younger then me joins the company, and so I will purposely compete and in general be an arsehole to them, to try and deter the person from getting better than me at the job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as “a rising star” in the company when this is just ego where I accept and allow my existence as this arrogance/superiority character, where I compete with young recruits in my mind to not allow them to get a higher rank then me in the company, which is unacceptable, because regardless of age, I must support every recruit equally that comes to the company.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience jealousy of new recruit’s age when they are younger than me and join us at a younger age then when I first joined. I notice that when a young new recruit joins, that I experience myself as an old man, and then I experience regret over what I was doing at their age fucking around with crime. When someone joins the company at a younger age then when I joined I regret the fact that I did not join the company sooner, and then I again justify my existence as this arrogance/superiority character. I realize this is a self-diminishing cycle which does not assist me in living physically here, so I take responsibility to change myself and end this atrocity. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience regret that I should have joined the company sooner when I was this new recruits age, when I realize that what’s done is done, and regret does not assist me in living what’s best for all here, because it is not even real it is just existing in my mind, and so I must not participate with anything like this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify being hard on young staff as this arrogance superiority character, because of knowing that this world has been fucked up by adults, and so it is clear that the younger generation must take a stand to do what’s best for all, which obviously does not justify my existence as this mind fuck. So I realize that I created a self-belief for myself that I am preparing the youngster to be able to deal with the harsh facts of reality through being an arsehole to them, purposely throwing them in at the deep end, demanding perfection without showing them how it works effectively, which I realize is exactly what parents currently do, which is unacceptable and will only result in the youngster becoming more rebellious rather than coming up with real solutions that are best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a self-belief that I am “assisting” the youngster to be able to deal with the harsh facts of what’s here and what needs to be sorted out, by throwing knowledge at the youngster without showing them how application works, when I realize that actually through existing as this arrogance/superiority character  purposely demanding perfection without walking physically with the being to show them how it works, I am actually abusing the youngster the same way my parents did to me, because knowledge without application is useless.  

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to question, investigate and correct this arrogance/superiority character around new recruits at work much earlier, which may have led to a few of them still working for us through me treating them completely fairly in equality rather than from a starting point of inequality as this arrogance/superiority character.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to exist as this arrogance/superiority character when I am around younger staff  as I realize that this character does not assist me or anyone else in living what’s best for all, it only enforces my existence as ego which I am not willing to allow to continue.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to attempt to experience myself as god through accumulating energy as this arrogance/superiority character, because i realize that this is simply inequality, it has only ever existed in my head and I realize that it is best for all to have no gods in existence, through making everyone equal as god, where we all support each other as life unconditionally, where we can actually manifest what’s best for all with our hands rather than what’s best for our own egotistical self-interest.

I commit myself to exposing and correcting all arrogance/superiority that exists in my life. I commit myself to exposing all arrogance/superiority that exists in this world as being a complete fraud in our minds which is not actually real at all.

I commit myself to not pre-judging any new staff that join the company I work for as being “good” or “bad” for the job as I realize that this is just separation of myself based in memories of young staff in the past that have left the company.

I commit myself to treating everyone I work with, as completely equal as life, which is how I myself would like to be treated, which is where we all uplift each other to be the best we can be.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to compete with any other staff just because they are younger than me, as competition is war and fear of survival which is not acceptable for anyone to experience.

I commit myself to not use fear of a memory reliving itself as a justification for existing as this arrogance superiority character within and as my mind, because there is no justification for existing as any pre-programmed character.

I commit myself to not asking for perfection from staff younger than me before I have shown them physically how the movements work to get the job done effectively. I no longer will allow myself to ask for perfection from another as it is paramount simply that I live as perfection which is the only example that will assist another to be able to live perfection themselves.

Whenever I see myself about to transform into this arrogance/superiority character, I stop and breathe. I stand as the directive principle of life in equality and oneness, I do not allow myself to participate with any thoughts/feelings or emotions that may arise in the moment, instead i discipline myself within and as breathe continually until all points of arrogance and superiority at work are removed completely from my existence, which is best for all.