Interesting, growing up in this world that my environment,
what TV showed me and what adults said to me, I allowed to create an idea in my
head that if a man has a big beard that he is more “manly” then a man that doesn’t
have a beard. I have believed that a beard makes a man “more” in a lot of ways in
fact. Most of my mums partners growing up I remember mainly all had beards, biker
types that I found pretty scary on the whole. And in general majority of men
that I showed some kind of respect to growing up were men with beards, as I actually
found beards pretty scary when I was a kid. To me at the time a beard made a
man look really imposing and scary kind of like a monster that could eat me in some
way lol, and a lot of the “tough guy” characters I saw on tv all had beards or
an unshaven look.
Anyway I noticed today that my beard was getting itchy in
the morning from growing pretty long, and when I was about to have a shave, I looked
closely at my beard in the mirror, and I had a resistance to shaving come up,
which I realize is because of multi-dimensional self-beliefs I have accepted
and allowed myself to exist as in relation to beards. Where I believe that it is more “manly” to
have a beard, that it makes me “more wise”, that is makes me tougher and
scarier than a guy without a beard, and that at work it is easier to get sales/new
recruits if I look older because in my mind a beard gives me more of an “aura
of authority”.
Then when one of my workmates pointed out my beard by making
a joke that I can borrow his shaver if I forgot mine, I laughed about it making
a “witty response” as if I wasn’t bothered by the remark, but inside I actually
reacted as a negative thought – “fuck you buddy my beard gives me authority”.
Lol, it’s pretty fucked up, because if my workmate had said “I
like your beard” then I would have reacted with a positive thought like “thanks
buddy yeah my beard is pretty cool”, which I have done before, and especially I
notice if a woman complements my beard, obviously because of the sexual connotations
that go with that, which then I allow to reinforce this mind possession I have
been existing as.
it fascinating because when I just say the word beard, immediately
I get thoughts of a beard being “tough and manly”, and all of this I’m writing
about here in relation to beards, simply reveals some of the dimensions of
value I have placed on beards in my mind, thus reveals my acceptance and
allowance of myself to exist as male ego, to be limited and defined according
to the pre-programmed mind.
I realize that in fact a beard is nothing more than a beard;
it is just hair that grows out of the face of certain men, which really has no
practical functions apart from making a person look older, and is kind of handy
in cold weather as some additional insulation of a kind lol. But anything else I
have created in my mind in relation to a
beard is all in fact not real as being based in physical fact, but is just
based in holographic illusions, thus complete fabrications, which I require to
walk out through effective self-honest investigation, self-forgiveness and
consistent corrective application of breathing, as I realize that these beard
points inside myself is a system of limitation in complete separation of myself
which does not support me in any way to live what is best for all, but rather
keeps me enslaved as an organic mind controlled robot in complete dishonesty,
which I am not willing to accept any further.
There is a lot more to investigate here, so join me as i
continue in my next blog….
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