Day 64: Fear of Gossip Part 2 Self-Forgiveness/Self-Corrective statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what others is saying about me or my family in secret in a negative way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people on my road talking shit about me, when I realize that if a person wants to talk shit about me or anyone In this world I cannot stop people from gossiping if they choose to do that, and certainly not through fearing it. I realize that there is no need to fear people gossiping about me as this fear only exists in my head according to how I believe others think about me. I realize that what I believe others think about me is not necessarily so, because belief as assumption is not actually real. And I realize that through all gossip that is aimed at me, that it is best for all to breathe remaining stable, not allowing myself to react to what others are saying as that will only result in further separation as conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that through fearing gossip from others, that I am in some way “best preparing myself” for someone attacking me through fearing it, exactly the same way many rich people do that believe through fearing being robbed or killed that they can stop it through feeding into the fear buying guns, bodyguards and camera alarm systems. Within this fear I realize that I am constantly in a state of believing that others are talking about me, constantly fearing that others are plotting to attack me in silent even when I cannot prove mathematically here that someone has been doing so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my assumptions in my mind about people gossiping about me are always correct when In fact I have exposed my assumption countless times as being false.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this fear of gossip, which I realize is to define myself according to the pre-programmed mind, so I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist as a pre-programmed robot through allowing thoughts based in this fear of gossip.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear and gossip together in total separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged by my neighbours as “bad” for the criminality I displayed on the road in the past.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that through fearing what others are saying about me, that I have within this actually been accepting and allowing myself to compound shame about my past in my mind because of knowing that others believe memory is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because my neighbours are not walking a process of self-honesty releasing memory currently, that this justifies fearing their gossip and being ashamed of my past, when in fact i realize that I cannot change my past, so whether a person wants to release memories about me or not is irrelevant because I can only be responsible for what it is that I accept and allow myself to exist as, so fearing others gossip and being ashamed of my past is completely unnecessary, all I can do is breathe and direct myself here as what’s best for all, treating others how I myself would like to be treated, which is equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a self-belief in my mind that I am “good” and those that gossip are “bad” which is clearly self-deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within this I am accepting and allowing myself to exist as and perpetuate polarity in this reality which is to exist in a starting point of separation from physical reality as a projected hologram in my mind superimposed onto physical reality, so I realize in self-honesty that there is no such thing as “good and “bad” in this world. Only the physical is real, so there is only what’s best for all here and that which isn’t best for all here, there is no good or bad within what’s here, that a drama only happening in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not realized in all moments that I’m judging someone as “bad” for gossiping, that I am in fact making a valued judgement about the person which clearly shows my existence as ego, that I am stuck in the mind and dishonest and thus this requires deletion immediately.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize in any moment that I judge and fear someone is gossiping as “bad”, that I am not clearly seeing, realizing and understanding that I have gossiped about others many times myself, so I realize that when I see somebody gossiping that really I am just looking in the mirror, that within believing I’m looking at something different, something separate is a complete delusion as fabricated through my allowance.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that in every moment I suspect someone is gossiping that I am only looking at myself in equality, so to judge myself, and or fear myself as “bad” is ridiculous, so I stop and take self-responsibility to end these gossip reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can change another such as my mother’s participation in “road gossip” and arguments with neighbours through ranting and raving to my mother about the fact that she is deceiving herself, when really I am the one that is equally deceiving myself as well through accepting and allowing this fear of gossip I experience myself as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize in all moments that I cannot change another’s perspective about reality as this is the design of “free will” which gives each and every person in this world absolute consequence for their own accepted and allowed actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others gossiping will piss off my mother and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify existing as this fear of gossip because of knowing my mother will get pissed off by the gossip, when it is best for all to not justify or exist as this fear of gossip, it is best to remain stable as breathe where no fear exists, which in turn will assist my mother and everyone else to remain stable in the face of others mental stabbing as gossip.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself as stable to my mother, within a situation where others are gossiping, when in fact self-honestly speaking I am not stable at all, because I’m existing as this fear of gossiping.

I forgive myself that I have deceived myself into believing that I am stable within gossip when this fear of gossip is in fact is showing completely the opposite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to walk up to the “gossip group” on my road and spew out a rant at them believing that this will force them to stop gossiping, when in fact through giving this attention to the group, then that will only show the group that they are causing an effect on me, which will more than likely cause a furthering of the shit talking. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that wanting to spew this rant out at the “gossip group” is in fact showing that I have been suppressing backchat about some of my neighbours, which I require to diffuse through writing, self-forgiveness and breathing effectively now immediately here or inevitably the suppression I have been allowing will explode, which will only result in verbal and or physical conflict which I’m not willing to accept about myself. I do not allow this thought accumulation and automation of myself to exist any further. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to see the “gossip group” on my road disappear from the road through a group tragedy happening.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in thought want to see another human be harmed which is completely unacceptable abuse that I must stop now.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat that “you’re lucky I’m not a criminal anymore otherwise I would have ended this little gossip group by harming you all” when I see the group on my road huddled round each other whispering. I realize that within this backchat it is clear that I have in thought been wanting to hurt this gossip group physically which is simply nasty thoughts which are not real, not really from me as who I am as life, but rather from the resonance of the programing I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become in this reality. I’m not willing to accept the enslavement of myself to the mind, so I take responsibility for these abusive thought’s through stopping them with disciplined self-corrective application. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as the “outsider” on my road because of being a criminal in the past, because i am the only ethnic person on the road, because I drive a nice car, because my house is situated in the middle of the estate, and because i stand for life. I realize however that within these points that I am basically using them as a justification for my existence as this fear of gossip, when I understand and see that none of these points are valid reasons for existing as this fear of gossip, they are just excuses. So I stop excusing myself now and I take full accountability for what I have allowed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my existence as a fear of gossip through various factors I have just pointed out which are not in fact valid justifications at all, for me there is no valid justification for fearing gossip in anyway in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the energy my mind gets from defining myself as the “outsider” on the road because  I feel special in some way as having some “higher value”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take enjoyment out of the energy of playing the “outsider” role, so I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I have a higher value than anyone else, when in clearly this is bullshit because all are equal as the physical, it is only in my mind where a difference occurs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to and like being defined as “different” in complete separation of myself revealing my ego and that I have created an idea about myself, so I take self-responsibility to stop this accepted and allowed instability.

I commit myself to ending my existence as this fear of gossip. I realize that this fear is not real, that this fear is not really who I am as life, that this fear has no justification, and that this fear is only limiting and holding me back from expressing myself as life in every moment.

I commit myself to ending all fear reactions to gossip that I have accepted and allowed about myself in this world.

I commit myself to showing clearly and mathematically in my living application of equality that there is no benefit that’s best for all that can come through any dimension of fear.

I commit myself to not allow myself to fear that my neighbours gossip about my criminal past, and within this I commit myself to not allow myself to experience any shame about my past, because what’s done is done and all I can do breathe, move on living what’s best for all here. 

I commit myself to remain stable as the physical through breathing when I see a group of people talking to each other on my road or anywhere in this world.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to judge anyone that gossips as “bad” because I realize that when I see a person gossiping that I am only looking in the mirror, because I myself have gossiped about people uncountable times in my life, so I am no better, I am not separate, I am responsible for gossips existence in this world as anyone else is, I understand what it is to be in the shoes of someone that consistently gossips about others, I realize that it is simply a mind design for energy accumulation in self-interest through harming another in thought.

I commit myself to living the realization that I can only ever be responsible for myself, thus I realize I cannot change another person, so I realize that if a person wants to gossip about me or anyone, that I must just leave them alone to deal with their gossip, and I must just remain stable as breathe.

When and as I see myself existing as this fear of gossip, I stop and breathe. I do not allow myself to engage with any thoughts, feelings or emotions that may come up, as I know what the consequence of this will be, which is the time looping continuation of my existence as an organic robot of abuse. So I stop. I breathe, and I continue to do so, developing my self-trust in each breathe, where through discipline, fear of gossip no longer exists in my world and my reality.