Day 35: The Collector “protecting my precious”

I’ve always been interested in collecting things, all kinds of things, and I realize that within this I often compromise myself placing value in things outside of myself, believing that I can preserve something from the past, something “valuable”, believing these things to have more value then life. Time to stop this now – 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to collect various items throughout my life from a starting point of separation as trying to hold onto the past, focusing on preservation of these items ahead of what’s best for all here. I realize that no matter how I hold onto something, or how much I try and preserve it, that compromising what’s best for all is never acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have not realized in every moment as myself that nothing can be preserved for ever, everything returns to dust, and no matter how I try and cling onto anything through fear of losing it, I will possibly lose it in my life at some stage, and 100% certainly at death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing what I consider to be “precious” when in fact I will lose it when I die, and I realize there is no such thing as a “precious” item, that this is a valued judgement which is nothing more than a projection of my pre-programmed mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view certain items as precious in some way as this collector character, when really this only exists in my multi-dimensional mind and thus is not real in anyway.

i forgive msyelf taht i have accepted and allowed myself to exist as anxiety, engaging myself as an attack defence mechanism within existing as this collector character, where i see everyone i see as a potential threat that could try and take "my precious", when really this is all just happening in my mind through my allowance, so i allow myself to stop doing this now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and barricade myself into my house with my own “precious” items as this collector character, completely unaware that within doing this I am creating my own private prison, where I constantly fear attackers coming into my house to steal “my precious”. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people coming into my house to steal items I place value in, all from existing as this collector character, fearing people stealing my collection. When in actual fact I do not know what another will do, and I will lose everything at death anyway, so i realize there is no point to fearing others taking “my precious” items, because these items are not really mine anyway. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value in something outside of myself, which in every breath I do this, I am existing within and as ego, where it is not possible to do what is best for all, so I take self-responsibility to stop.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect memories to certain physical objects, and then charge these memories through participating in thought creating energy, and then defining myself within this, when I realize that in actual fact all of this is an illusion as a pre-programmed robotic zombie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed memories connected to objects with energy, and to then define myself within this, because I realize that this is complete separation of myself which must stop.

I forgive myself that I have not realized in all moments that memories I have connected to a specific item are not real, that they like the starting point of preserving specific “precious” items are only preserved through my own allowance in my mind to continue doing so. I realize there is no real preservation that’s best for all being adhered to within this - to live what is best for all requires all pre-programmed memories to be removed from my existence, because as long as I’m existing as a memory, then I am not here in fact as breathe of life.

 

I forgive myself that I have not realized that by placing so much value in something outside of myself is exactly the same as what we humans do when we are “in love” with something or someone, which is what actually creates hate in this world.

I forgive myself that I have not realized in every here breathe, that through “loving” something outside of myself as a form of self-created entity possession, is actually how war is created in this world, because once I define something as special in my mind as this collector character, then inevitably I will go to any lengths to keep hold of this “special item” that I “love”, even if that means harming someone to do so, which is completely unacceptable. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to unconsciously feed into war as conflict with others through accepting myself as this collector character.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist as fear of survival as this collector character, where i act in complete self-interest, only focused on the protection of my own future wealth instead of focusing on the implementation of an equal money system which abolishes all peoples fear of survival, and abolishes peoples ability to horde wealth in anyway over others.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself a justification that because the money system says something is valuable, to then believe in my mind it is valuable, where I justify placing value in objects as this collector character. When in actual fact this is self-deception, because no item is more special than any other, all items are equal as physical objects as this one physical reality, equal as me, regardless of what this capitalist money system says.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity of “positivity” to this collector character, believing myself to be so smart that I’m collecting and saving my “precious” items. When in actual fact I realize that within this I am completely limiting myself playing a ping pong game in my mind, where I massage my ego believing I am “good” for collecting and saving “precious” items, and then judge those that don’t collect and save “precious” items as “bad” and stupid, which is all just valued judgements of polarity which are not real and so must be stopped.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself in all moments to see, realize and understand that all items are equal as all that’s here within and as this physical reality as myself.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to exist as this collector character any further, because i can clearly see in self-honesty that this is based in roots of complete illusion in my mind, and only results in separation of myself from physical reality where from this starting point only abuse can be created, so I take self-responsibility to stop this.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to connect a polarity to this collector character as something positive, because I realize this is where I go back and forth in my mind judging myself as “good” for collecting, and judging those that don’t collect as “bad”. in self-honesty I realize that there is nothing positive that can possibly exist in a world where children starve to death everyday by the thousands, this can and does only exist in my mind.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to “fall in love” with an item as placing special value in it in my mind, because I realize now that within this I am in complete separation from physical reality, because all physical items are equal as the physical, and through saying that something is special and worth protecting, I am actually feeding into war as myself.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to fear someone taking an item I have, because i can clearly see that no matter what I do to desperately try and cling onto this item like Gollum from lord of the rings, that inevitably the day I die is when I will certainly lose all things I believe I own in my mind, which is cool because it reveals that I in fact own nothing, I can claim nothing, because all that is here is property of physical reality, not me, that only exists within and as the limited frequency of my mind. 

I commit myself to exposing all collector characters in this existence; because a world that is best for all does not involve a person deceiving themselves into believing they own something over others, fighting to protect it. It’s psychotic so I do not allow this and within this I commit myself to not allowing myself to try and justify an item as valuable in my mind, just because this capitalist money system says it is valuable. I realize that while some items are utilized more than others in the creation of various products, it does not make the item special, because common sensically all physical objects whether humans, animals, plants, rocks or elements are all equal as the physical no more no less, and thus all objects should be treated with the same honour and dignity as life. 

When and as I see myself existing as this collector character in any moment, I stop and breathe. I do not allow myself to engage any thought, feeling or emotion that comes up; I realize the outcome of existing as this character, where only fears/projections/and beliefs will manifest. I realize in totality of myself that a world that is best for all has no such limitations as this collector character. I realize my own self-worth as life, I realize that there is nothing more special than anything else; all are equal as the physical. I commit myself to stop placing value in things outside of myself, separating value from myself; I commit myself to stop defining value in separation from myself. I commit myself to stop defining myself within and as this collector character, and instead I accept my value as life, I take self-responsibility for this, accepting self-worth here as who I am as a physical being on earth.