Day 31: Blame the woman Character.

So many times in the past I have allowed and accepted myself to become a character around a female when a point of physical labour that the female or both of us are working on which is ineffective, where I see that the female has broken something, not planned correctly, or is generally struggling to complete a particular task that I think I can do more effectively.

This came up for me recently, and I have realized that as this character I take a position in my mind of superiority over the female, where I basically focus on teasing and putting down the female in a general sarcastic arsehole stance. 

It’s interesting though because I have exposed this character many times before, where I take the piss out of a woman who I see can’t do something and I think in my mind that “I could do that easily, that woman’s just making it look hard”, and then when I get to trying it I also am unable to complete the task.

This has showed me how deceptive the male ego is, whereas this blaming the woman character I constantly believe that anything a woman is doing a man will be more effective at it especially in relation to physical labour or anything I have defined in my mind as “manly”, which is complete bullshit - So I’m not willing to exist as this or feed this character anymore energy. I stop participation, i do not accept this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a blaming the woman character, which I realize is of the male ego in complete separation of the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am strong as this blaming the woman character which is complete self-deception as it clearly reveals my weakness to believe such a point that is only stemming from pre-programming.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that while I believe in my mind I am strong as this character, in actual fact I am defined and limited as this character, as a pre-programmed robot of consciousness completely unaware of life here, thus I am diminished and weak.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this character has developed through years of participation with and as judgemental spiteful thoughts towards major women in my life that do not do things the way I want them to do, such as my mother and past girlfriends. 

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allwoed myself to as this blaming the woman character believe that in relation to physical labour as a man my word somehow has more wieght, that i am more likely to be right and know how to get the job done effectively, which is just an idea of myself, and reveals a self-belief of my male ego - really delusional shit which im not willing to accept.  

I forgive myself that I have not realized in all moments that this character is where I accept and allow women to be abused, where I verbally attack the tiniest mistake a woman does, feeding the whole Idea that the woman is not equal to men similarly as god from the bible going way over the top in his punishment of eve for listening to the serpent.

I forgive myself that I allow and accept myself to justify this blaming the woman character where anytime I see a woman is being ineffective at physical labour, in my mind there is backchat saying stuff like “see I knew I was right” which then charges future situations with women where I as this character lay in wait for the woman to make a mistake so I can attack them which is completely unacceptable. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into believing that a man can do things more effectively then the woman which I have since realized is not true in many situations in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect physical labour in my mind to men, where i feed and believe a concept that women apparently “can’t do physical labour effectively” which I have realized is not true because it is all a matter of what knowledge a person has walked effectively. Men often will have larger muscles then the female, but it does not matter if a person is a male or a female, if a person is not consistently participating in physical labour, and then inevitably they will be ineffective when they get to it regardless of gender. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed this character in all other males with “manly gossip” where we all provide energy to the idea that women are less effective at physical labour then men. And within this I forgive myself that I have not realized that within this blaming the woman character when I see a woman is struggling to complete some labour, i am completely disempowering the woman, charging women’s own ideas of themselves not being effective at labour, rather than supporting the female to become more effective at the point of labour which would be best for all.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define women according to mistakes in physical labour, which is a valued judgement based in complete illusion, there is no grounds for validity in this definition, because as this world proves, mistakes are an inherent human trait, not a female trait.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to exist as a blaming the female character, as I realize and understand that it is in complete separation of the physical reality as the male ego, and is completely abusive to life.

I commit myself to investigation of all characters in this world that blame, attack or divide women in anyway, because I realize that a world that is best for all is a world where each one is in fact treated equally in all moments, which means in a world that’s best for all which I take self-responsibility to embody, there is no room for a any characters that are abusive to life as a blaming the female character.

I commit myself to removing this character from my body, this character I have become through years of thought participation of judgemental thoughts towards women, I am not willing to accept abuse of any beings in this world, I am only interested in self honesty as what’s best for all.

I commit myself to whenever I see that I may or I am becoming this blaming the woman character, that I pay close attention to my internal experience – what thoughts are coming up? How do I feel? Am I getting emotional? And within this I commit myself to not participate with any thoughts feelings or emotions that lead to becoming this character. I stop, I breathe, I focus on being here stable, and repeating this until there is no more blaming the female character that exists within and as me.