Day 30: “Here” to save the day Hero Character

Many times in the past I have allowed myself to exist as a Hero character where i look to “save” someone in some way but in fact I only deceive myself within this and I am not willing to accept this -  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit and define myself as the mind through existing as a Hero character where i compromise and separate myself from physical reality through trying to project myself onto someone else. I realize that this character is not real because it originates and only exists in my pre-programmed mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within this character I can save myself and others from harm, when in fact this character is completely war like and makes sure that conflict and harm will inevitably happen, so I have realized that a world which is best for all will have no hero characters existing within it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that while I believe I am protecting myself and others as this hero character, it is actually revealing that I fear having no protection from others in this world, which is the same as saying I fear myself, and reveals that I fear death, because I realize that no matter how much apparent “protection” I cover myself and others with, there is no escaping from death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to unknowingly fear death within existing as this hero character, and I always find that fear does not support me in any way to live in the physical as the entirety of my nobody and all that is here, so I stop this now. 

I forgive myself that I have not realized in every moment of breathe when this hero character comes up, that what I am actually trying to do within this character is manipulate others to give me energy in some way, with either attention, money or sex when I “save the day” which is completely dishonest unacceptable shit which must be stopped for the benefit of all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge this hero character with a positive charge in my mind when none of this is actually real in anyway because energy whether perceived as positive or negative is unstable and finite while life as the physical is eternal.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that this focused attention on being a hero is through the polarity consequence only making sure that there are those in the world that will immediately stand as the opposite end of the scale as the negative villain because I realize that this “positive” hero character I allow actually exists in complete alignment with the negative villain character, both exist because of each other exactly the same as rich and poor manifests in this world.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within this hero character I am literally saying that I have no responsibility to myself but only to that of other people which is a completely egotistical limiting statement which is total self-enslavement and self-deception.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to blame others that do “evil deeds” as to why im existing as this hero character which is a statement of complete ego and within this I take no self-responsibility for the fact that who I am and who I allow myself to be in each moment is my responsibility in every way, there is never anyone else to blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I while I am existing as this hero character that I have some kind of special value, which is complete self-deception as an idea of myself which is not real at all, because I am just a flesh and bone physical being like any other, and so I realize that I have no special value in anyway whatsoever.

I forgive myself that in the past I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself and all destonians as some kind of heroes, when this concept is completely delusional, It is simply an idea I’m building up about myself and other destonians as being “special” when in fact nobody is special, we are all humans here on earth participating. I realize that no matter whether a being is standing for life, working towards what’s best for all or not, a being is a being nonetheless, neither has more value, it is only through the mind where I perceive and develop conceptual ideas that I or any group or being is more than what is here.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have allowed all the years of cartoons, movies and media which supports the idea of hero and super beings to brainwash me into wanting to imitate various portrayals of my favourite hero’s growing up.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as and feed into multiple imaginations of being my favourite superheroes which is only a total delusion existing in my head and thus has no validity to allow. 

 I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to unconsciously charge the hero and villain characters of every human in the world standing as these characters through my own acceptance of them, and thus I realize that within this hero character I am not taking self-responsibility and standing as the directive principle of life, and so I take the necessary action in each breath to end this atrocity to life.

I accept no less then self-honesty as myself here - so I commit myself to not allowing this hero character to limit and define who I am, because I realize that it is not real in anyway, and is complete separation to physical reality thus is completely inconsiderate and spiteful towards life.

I commit myself to not feeding into wars through existing as this hero character, as I realize that this character is completely war like in its very definition and operation, so in order to have real peace on earth I must remove all heroic characters from my flesh so that all that remains is who I am as life which is best for all.

I commit myself to not fearing death through participating as this hero character, because i realize that anything based in protection/defence is a direct correlation to fearing being harmed, fearing death. I realize that a world that is best for all has no false hero’s running around in a bubble of fearing death.

I commit myself to stopping all wants, desires and attempted manipulations to receive energy as attention, money or sex within existing as this hero character which is total dishonest, deceptive shit which I take self-responsibility to sacrifice now and in every moment on the altar of self-honesty till here no further.

I commit myself to not feed others egos as this hero character through acknowledging them and supporting there delusion. Instead I will expose them and reveal the downfalls of this character as I have done to myself, this I will continue for as long as it takes until there are no more false prophet hero characters in this world. 

I commit myself to taking self-responsibility for myself in every moment, rather than trying to take responsibility for others as this hero character, because i realize that until I take effective self-responsibility consistently in every moment for myself then I cannot possibly support another in anyway.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to blame anyone as ego for why I become this hero character if it comes up again at any point in my life, as I realize that how, who and what I allow myself to be in every moment is always my allowance purely, there is nobody to blame.

 I commit myself to not adding any special value in my mind to myself if I exist as this hero character again, and within this I commit myself to not adding any special value in my mind to me or any other being in this world just because of a principle that myself and the other person stands for as destonians, because to say we are special in anyway is completely contradictory to what equality and oneness is actually about. I realize that regardless of principles, all beings are equally physical beings here on earth and so I treat all beings equally as life as myself.

 I commit myself to not allowing myself to imagine and imitate myself as any hero’s I had growing up which I became brainwashed by, where I then try and interfere in people’s lives looking for an excuse to “show off my powers”, which is completely delusional shit, I do not allow this any further.

I commit myself to whenever this hero character comes up in any moment, to not allow myself to participate with any thoughts, feelings or emotions; I do not allow myself to become possessed. Instead I stop all mind participation any time this character comes up, I breathe, I keep myself stable here as who I really am as life, I continue breathing and repeating this process until this character is removed from my flesh in totality which is best for all.