Saturday, 16 June 2012

Day 15: "Everything’s ok?" Self-Deception


So I was watching an episode of madmen the other day, and the main character had a tooth problem that developed in the episode. Then when people kept asking if he’s ok and maybe he should go to the doctor, he kept refusing and denying that anything was wrong, telling everyone that “I will get better” as if miraculously the pain in his tooth would just go away, when physically the tooth was getting worse and worse to the point where he couldn’t even bend down without flinching in pain from his tooth.

And it was only when the pain of his tooth was unbearable and he realised it was getting worse not better as he tried to convince himself of in his mind, it was only at this point that he actually decided to do anything about the tooth by going to the dentist. So it was only after putting himself through unnecessary suffering that he decided to do anything about it.

I found this fascinating, because I have a tooth problem at the moment, and I have existed as this personality many times which is a part of the male ego, where I deny that anything is wrong and simply refuse to show any sign of weakness to anybody, presenting false strength to others, deceiving myself into believing that I will get better by myself when in fact I require some form of physical support to reduce the pain.

Fascinating within this also that when we look at peoples perspectives about all the abuse here on earth, we humans have allowed ourselves to be conditioned with a belief that “things will just get better and magically work themselves out”. For example those that claims spiritual divinity, actually believing that “the power of the mind” has the ability to move the physical reality we all live in. As if we can just focus on a better world magically manifesting in our minds, and then because we are thinking about it, then apparently it will physically manifest, which is a state of insanity.

Very clearly a state of insanity, because the world around us is getting worse in every moment and will continue to do so, until we stop bullshitting ourselves that things are getting better in our minds, when we require immediate practical solutions to end abuse here on earth which start within each and every one of us. Time to stop fucking around in our minds; it’s time to get Self-Honest here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a concept that points of abuse in myself and in the world will miraculously get better by using the “power of the mind”, when in actual fact this is simply a way to distract myself from getting to the root cause of the problems here and formulating/living real workable solutions that are of benefit to everyone.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that by believing that I can “think myself better” when points of pain happen in my body, that I take on this personality as myself in relation to all abuse on earth, believing that I can think the world into harmony which is actually impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow abuse inside myself and the world to get to an unnecessary critical point of pain before I even consider implementing a physical solution that’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to believe that my mind has greater power to move the physical then the physical itself which is dishonest self-deception which anybody can test for themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only take action to correct physical pain in this world when the pain affects me only, as a starting point of self-interest where I cannot even notice the pain of others, but only the pain of myself believing myself to be separate from others when in fact I am not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prolong the suffering that exists here on earth as myself unnecessarily through existing as and feeding into pre-programmed consciousness which is abusive to life and thus must end.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that I am equal and one to all beings here in this physical reality, that my pain is not more important than the pain of another, and within believing that it is I only feed into my conditioning and the system of capitalism here to ensure that the abuse of life continues on earth.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that I am equal to all pain that exists in this reality, because in fact I am as life as all beings as this physical reality, and it is within this realization that I empower myself to take action to live what’s bets for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the male ego where i only focus on presenting strength to others, when in fact this strength is not real and is only existing in my mind as is proven when I experience real physical pain inside myself where this male ego cracks and no matter how hard I try in my mind I cannot avoid the pain that’s here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being weak and to be judged by others around me as weak when they see me in pain, because I am constantly in a state of competing with others in my mind – not wanting to show weakness to the enemy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and fear that I am diminished in some way within openly showing people that I am in pain, that I will be hurt by someone more if they know I’m in pain, when in fact this concept is only existing in my mind and is thus not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to exist as an unbreakable being at all times, without realising that I am flesh and bone, so it is very clear that I can break, and that this picture in my mind of me being an unbreakable being is just ego and an idea of myself in my mind 
which is clearly not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly compete with others, only seeing people as opponents in a “mind war”, focusing on winning so that I can be the “god” of this reality, instead of realising that I require to work together with others to implement practical solutions so that everyone can experience being “god” a world where no competition exists which is an equal money system.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that my mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions has no actual tangible power in anyway whatsoever in this reality and that the only way to create any kind of harmony in this world is through physical participation here in every breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can correct real physical pain within and as a concept of spirituality, where I allow an idea that the physical pain is not real, that by focusing on bliss ascending to light in my mind I’m apparently making effective change that’s best for all, when in fact this is self-deception because I’m actually hiding from making real effective change that’s best for all.

I commit myself to not deceiving myself within the belief that “things are getting better” in this reality when in fact what is physically existing and accumulating on earth in every moment is more abuse, proving that things are actually getting worse.

I commit myself to practically implementing workable physical solutions to end abuse in every way in this reality. I only accept solutions which are based in actual physical support that’s best for all.

I commit myself to not allowing any ideas, beliefs or perceptions that my mind has some kind of power to correct real physical abuse in myself, in my application or in the world as a whole, because I 
have seen for myself many times that my mind has no actual real tangible power in anyway.

I commit myself to implementing and living solutions to create a system where everyone’s pain is removed which is best for all, rather than not caring about life, focusing on removing my own pain as a starting point of self-interest, which I do not accept. I do not allow myself to believe that my pain has more relevance then anybody else’s, because I realise that all pain that exists in this world is equal 
as pain, and thus equally needs action to be removed.

I commit myself to not fear showing the physical pain I experience to others, because I realise this fear is simply the male ego desiring to present strength to others, so I realise that I am not diminished in any way through being open about the pain I experience, I am simply being clear and supporting myself to be able to correct the pain in real time here. As long as I believe I can’t show my pain to others, where I hide pretending I’m string, then I’m making sure that the pain is unnecessarily prolonged – so I do not allow this.

I am only interested in self-honesty, I’m only interested in a world where heaven is actualized with myself as the starting point because it is best for all.  

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