So today i did alot of physical labour, just going to share some reactions that came up at one point. So i first spent 2 hours piecing a large bench together, i had my earpiece in my ear while doing this, so i could talk on the phone, because a member of staff had not turned up for work, so i had to find cover, and another member was pulling a "sickness" excuse, (this "sickness" for alot of people in the company usually constitutes a hangover from too much alcohol from the night before) - unacceptable. Anyway so im pieceing this large bench together while speaking on the phone alot, then experiencing "stress" then i started blaming a heated discussion with staff for this stress i was experiencing which i immediately noticed, so i stopped separating myself from whats here, and then i spoke self forgiveness outloud, took a deep breathe and reamained stable within and as whats here, standing equal and one as these pieces of wood that had to be structured together in a way to manfest the bench - i do find creating something with with my hands that requires physical labour to be an awesome point of self support in establishing wether or not i am standing in self honesty equal and one as the physical in a moment, or wether i am going into the mind about it fucking around with back chat and energy.
Then i had lunch for a few minutes, and so i completed 60% of the bench when i had to stop, because it was time for my mums riding lesson at pine trees farm - some back chat came up about this a thought of "i dont want to go to the farm right now i want to finish this bench first" then while we are sat in the car i write this thought down before i start driving, I then start speaking self forgiveness and self corrective statements in relation to this thought outloud while driving, bringing myself back here stabilizing myself through these statements and breathe.
When we get to the farm, i first say hello to Ashley an Aussie woman that works on the farm, Sheila the farm owner, her dog Toby, and a few of the horses, then Sheila informs me that a few school kids helped and did a bit of painting earlier in the week contiuning what i had started, so i did the same and picked up where the kids left off
My mum goes off riding with Ashley, Sheila is cleaning the stables, and im starting to paint. But first i had to clear alot of spider webs that where over the areas i had to paint - some self judgements about this came up - "how would you like your house smashed down marley?" i stopped, deleted, breathed, let the point go, and just made sure i dont kill any insects while doing this painting - some spiders popped out now and then, so i just directed them away from the wet paint.
And after painting for 30 minutes or so, i noticed another point come up, where i started judging the amount of painting i had managed in the 30 minute timeframe as "not good enough so far" "keep working" "everybody will be impressed if i do more" then i noticed i was speeding up the speed of my painting as i went into these thoughts, so i stopped and laughed at the ridiculousness of it, then i slowed myself down, stopped participation in an idea of impressing everyone on the farm and stuck to breathe. I find it cool that these points come up that require correction, so that i can be aware of what is happening within me and take self responsibility to make sure the same points do not occur again when the original trigger comes up again, by remaining self disciplined in my application.
So after painting when i got back home, i continued with completing the bench, then i had dinner, got my teams results, then i went to play football in a staff game that happens once a month, this went on for 2 hours in a 7 a side game so it was tiring. I find sport to be a cool self support point aswel, i enjoy reamining here within doing sports, sticking to breathe, so as to not separate myself from the experience by going into the mind as competition, winning-losing, ego etc - i will not accept these Self-Limitations, so i write myself out, i re-script myself - so as and when thoughts come up in relation to physical labour, i stop participation, i stick to breathe as who i really am in Self-Honesty, until the points no longer are a part of my world.
Then i had lunch for a few minutes, and so i completed 60% of the bench when i had to stop, because it was time for my mums riding lesson at pine trees farm - some back chat came up about this a thought of "i dont want to go to the farm right now i want to finish this bench first" then while we are sat in the car i write this thought down before i start driving, I then start speaking self forgiveness and self corrective statements in relation to this thought outloud while driving, bringing myself back here stabilizing myself through these statements and breathe.
When we get to the farm, i first say hello to Ashley an Aussie woman that works on the farm, Sheila the farm owner, her dog Toby, and a few of the horses, then Sheila informs me that a few school kids helped and did a bit of painting earlier in the week contiuning what i had started, so i did the same and picked up where the kids left off
My mum goes off riding with Ashley, Sheila is cleaning the stables, and im starting to paint. But first i had to clear alot of spider webs that where over the areas i had to paint - some self judgements about this came up - "how would you like your house smashed down marley?" i stopped, deleted, breathed, let the point go, and just made sure i dont kill any insects while doing this painting - some spiders popped out now and then, so i just directed them away from the wet paint. And after painting for 30 minutes or so, i noticed another point come up, where i started judging the amount of painting i had managed in the 30 minute timeframe as "not good enough so far" "keep working" "everybody will be impressed if i do more" then i noticed i was speeding up the speed of my painting as i went into these thoughts, so i stopped and laughed at the ridiculousness of it, then i slowed myself down, stopped participation in an idea of impressing everyone on the farm and stuck to breathe. I find it cool that these points come up that require correction, so that i can be aware of what is happening within me and take self responsibility to make sure the same points do not occur again when the original trigger comes up again, by remaining self disciplined in my application.
So after painting when i got back home, i continued with completing the bench, then i had dinner, got my teams results, then i went to play football in a staff game that happens once a month, this went on for 2 hours in a 7 a side game so it was tiring. I find sport to be a cool self support point aswel, i enjoy reamining here within doing sports, sticking to breathe, so as to not separate myself from the experience by going into the mind as competition, winning-losing, ego etc - i will not accept these Self-Limitations, so i write myself out, i re-script myself - so as and when thoughts come up in relation to physical labour, i stop participation, i stick to breathe as who i really am in Self-Honesty, until the points no longer are a part of my world.
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