So today at work i was working on my own in a busy shopping centre, i was suposed to be working with two of my newly acquired recruits, but they both failed to arrive - some judgemental back chat towards these beings and myself came up about this imediately - "these guys are fucking lazy - i give them a job and this is how they repay me on their second day" "im shit at scouting for new effective staff" so i stopped, deleted, breathed and stabilized myself here and started working.
So im directing myself throughout the day specifically in my body movement, touch and conversational mechanisms to stand equal in understanding with a stranger so they will then leave me their address details. Since walking my process my ability to direct an effective day at work every day into manifestion has inscreased dramatically, how to treat all times of labour equally by sticking to breathe, reamining stable, releasing all reactions towards the job and putting in 100% application physically here, directing myself within and as whats here fully. So anyway, the company targets us on 7 leads a day although alot of staff struggle to achieve that, i was on 15 leads at 2pm with 3 hours left, slight hunger came, so i decided best for all to go and get some lunch, so i did.
Then i saw a guy looking at me, so i nodded at him and said hello - he did not respond, and immediate back chat comes up "mate i just said hello to you, wheres my hello back?", "fine fuck you too" then a moment later i realised that this back chat does not come up often when im at work, but always comes up when i greet someone when im not working - totally uneccessary separation of myself here. And fascinating that by the very fact that this back chat came up, is only indicating that my initial greeting was not unconditional and self honest, that i veiled my hello as a "friendly" act when in actual fact it was clear self deception, because in self honesty i know i only nodded at the guy just for the energetic "buzz" of him noddiing back at me, not unconditionally as whats best for all. So what i did here was spiteful, and reveals my male ego initiating a competition with another, attempting to create a conflict with another, but i did not go any further into the thoughts.
I stopped deleted the thought and stuck to breathe, and the next time i see a man or a woman that i want to nod at, i take self responsibility to look at why am i initiating this nod? for what purpose am i allowing it to exist? Is it an unconditional nod that passes the equality equation? I stick to reathe, because i do not accept or allow myself to separate myself by saying hello to people just so they can say hello back to me in self interest, its unacceptable, so i stop participating now, and continue to do so until here no further.
So im directing myself throughout the day specifically in my body movement, touch and conversational mechanisms to stand equal in understanding with a stranger so they will then leave me their address details. Since walking my process my ability to direct an effective day at work every day into manifestion has inscreased dramatically, how to treat all times of labour equally by sticking to breathe, reamining stable, releasing all reactions towards the job and putting in 100% application physically here, directing myself within and as whats here fully. So anyway, the company targets us on 7 leads a day although alot of staff struggle to achieve that, i was on 15 leads at 2pm with 3 hours left, slight hunger came, so i decided best for all to go and get some lunch, so i did.
Then i saw a guy looking at me, so i nodded at him and said hello - he did not respond, and immediate back chat comes up "mate i just said hello to you, wheres my hello back?", "fine fuck you too" then a moment later i realised that this back chat does not come up often when im at work, but always comes up when i greet someone when im not working - totally uneccessary separation of myself here. And fascinating that by the very fact that this back chat came up, is only indicating that my initial greeting was not unconditional and self honest, that i veiled my hello as a "friendly" act when in actual fact it was clear self deception, because in self honesty i know i only nodded at the guy just for the energetic "buzz" of him noddiing back at me, not unconditionally as whats best for all. So what i did here was spiteful, and reveals my male ego initiating a competition with another, attempting to create a conflict with another, but i did not go any further into the thoughts.
I stopped deleted the thought and stuck to breathe, and the next time i see a man or a woman that i want to nod at, i take self responsibility to look at why am i initiating this nod? for what purpose am i allowing it to exist? Is it an unconditional nod that passes the equality equation? I stick to reathe, because i do not accept or allow myself to separate myself by saying hello to people just so they can say hello back to me in self interest, its unacceptable, so i stop participating now, and continue to do so until here no further.
No comments:
Post a Comment