Day 342: You are Dead to me

You know that experience of immense offence? When its really deep and personal, where you take offence to somebody in your life so much that you take action to remove this person from your life, by stopping all forms of interaction with them - they essentially become dead to you, 6ft deep as far down in your mind as you can.

Likely you will have offended the other person immensely as well, then all that remains is these spiteful thoughts, words and actions towards each other as you both increasingly agree to stop interacting.

I have found in life, that sometimes these situations are valid, where someone has outright abused you, perhaps many times and you have to stop all forms of interaction with them as it becomes clear that its generally best for all.

Yet other times when you look closely in your life in self-honesty, you will notice there will be interactions where you have ended up blocking someone, who in reality didn't do anything wrong apart from challenging your ego, questioning your idea of yourself.

The ego doesn't like to be questioned, it demands that everyone respects it, or it will defend itself attacking you and you will quickly become dead to that person.

I have done plenty of blocking people who were a detrimental effect to my life, this was proveable as being best for all. But recently I had one that fell into the later, where my ego and this other person's ego was offended so much that we both decided to block each other, effectively becoming dead to each other.

It was really an accumulation of conversations and interactions, where I reacted as an emotion of annoyance, feeling like i'm not being listened to, and the other person felt the same. Our words and tones with each other became more and more venomous, where eventually it was nothing but consistent criticism for each other that we had.

I know that If i had either not reacted, or diffused my reactions much earlier, then this situation could have been avoided.

It is always when two people stand as ego, they both get offended, both will not back down, when in those moments we have to take self-responsibility to realise what is happening, that the conversation is becoming toxic, to breathe be stable and let the point go. As soon as one person lets go of their offence, then the debate/conflict is over which is best for all.

When there is a common sense blocking, then it still gives the doorway of opportunity to unblock the person in later years if they face themselves in their isolation from you, changing their abusive behaviour.

Meanwhile the "You are Dead to me" blocking that the ego does is different and is a permanent burying of the person in your mind which does not assist anybody.

So look over those people you have blocked out of your life through the years, in self-honesty when i look now, I know the ones that were valid and the ones that were not. I suggest we all go back over our blockings to clarify exactly which ones were valid and which ones were not.

Moving forward I make sure that I stop all forms of pre-programmed blocking of people based on my ego being offended - the dead must be revived eventually, because a world of death does not help anyone, we must create a world of life.

Walk with me to let go of past deaths and avoid future ones -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be personally offended as the ego by someone, and to then defend my stance as the ego by defining the person as now being "Dead to me". I see how this is detrimental because all this creates is a unnecessarily burnt bridges, when in reality if I had not reacted in emotion to the person, then our conflict and my subsequent idea of the person being now dead to me would have been avoided.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if i back down from a debate/conflict, then I am showing weakness which my ego does not like because I define myself as strong as the ego, so rather then backing down my ego will defend itself and define the person as dead to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being strong, when in reality true strength has nothing to do with fighting with others to listen, real strength is to take self-responsibility to diffuse conflicts, not feed into them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to put myself in the shoes of someone else once I have allowed my ego to be offended by the person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist that which opposes what's best for all life, instead of realising that what i resists persists, thus i must stand equal to, work with and direct to what's best, fighting someone else's ego with my own never produces beneficial outcomes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto memories of when I was living as a criminal in my teenage years, where in that life it is important to quickly define someone as dead to you for the smallest indiscretion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define someone as dead who will not listen to something i passionately suggest to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my word means so much and so should be respected and listened to straight away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that this belief, confirms that I am confused about how all our minds work as the ego, the reality is that we all realise ourselves in our own time, it is not according to anyone else's timeline, only our own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand as the point of God as Money as the ego when I define someone as dead to me, where I am casting them out of heaven, out of money with no hope of ever re-entering heaven/money, which is a completely unnecessary stance and sentence to give someone and is what keeps the horrors in this world being allowed.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that whenever I have a blaming experience towards anyone else for how I experience myself, then it shows that I am living in separation from physical reality as the pre-programmed ego which is not acceptable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get annoyed and then define someone as dead to me, because I am not getting what i want in self-interest, which is exactly what keeps the world in place as it is, all getting annoyed with each other when our selfish desires are not getting appeased.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive others, through masking what i want as being good for the person whether that is physically true or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my perspectives being forced and ignored as a reason to be offended, when if I hadn't been as forceful in the first place then that may have had a better impact - planting seeds gently with care, taking your time to grow the seeds, always produces a better crop then a forced and rushed crop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not always notice the difference between when i have blocked someone for a common sense reason that benefits all, or when it is because my ego was offended, when in reality when I live as this breath in self-honesty, I can always see clearly if I am blocking someone from a clear best for all starting point or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as the pre-programmed mind miss that because i focus on living what's best for all life, and i see humanities pre-programming as promulgating a world of death - I sometimes will judge someone as already being dead when they are not willing to live what's best for all life right now, when I am also just as equally dead through this behaviour if that is the case, because although I like to face and remove my brainwashing patterns, there are many I still require to sort out just like everyone else in this world, thus I have no authority to speak above anyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get emotional and angry when someone i care about is hurting themselves and not listening to me - I realise that this emotional anger only feeds into friction and no beneficial solution with the person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that the world is the way it is, because of treating some people as more alive then others and defining so many as being dead to our society, and so we turn a blind eye to the abuse in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it is "Just the way it is" that some people will always be "dead to us", when this is unacceptable as this is a life sentence that nobody should impose on anyone - so this world of the dead must be turned to a world of life, where all beings are equally as alive to us all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my father as being dead to me because he offended my ego by not being there for me growing up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge past lovers as being dead to me because of allowing my ego to be offended by them when they didn't listen to me, when I didn't get the basis of the relationship and/or sex the way i wanted it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge past friends and work colleagues as being dead to me, because they offended my ego by going behind my back to talk about me in a derogatory way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can ignore someone i define as dead to me, when in reality they are not dead physically, they still exist as a part of this one world we all share, and thus are a part of me, so must have the same acknowledgement and respect as life as I myself and anyone else would want.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to define anyone as being "dead to me" I realise that this is a definition derived from the ego in complete separation, which is totally different to a common sense blocking of someone to benefit everyone - so as and when I see thoughts coming up about someone being "dead to me" I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to participate with these thoughts, as in doing so would only continue my own enslavement as this separation, so I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that when someone offends my ego, that is actually a support for me to let go of my own bullshit programming,

I commit myself to living the realisation that blocking someone from my life is only beneficial to all life when there is actual continual verbal and physical abuse occurring from a person's behaviour - yet this blocking still allows the door of interaction to be possibly reopened oneday if people really change for the better, this "you are dead to me" from the ego is so unnecessarily permanent.

I commit myself to creating a world where nobody is dead to anybody, where all life is acknowledged, honoured and respected as life in equality and oneness.