Day 343: Home is a House of Bricks

Where do you call home? Maybe you live with many family members in a house, or maybe you live with friends, or maybe you live on your own like me.

Regardless of your daily living situation, it is interesting how the mind over time begins to define itself through who we live with and the house we live in - the ego creates tentacles of ownership around the property, becomes my "home sweet home" "my kingdom".

I have seen this recently come up, for myself where due to unforeseen circumstances I am having to move house as it's what's best for all in the situation.

Fascinating how my mind has been fearing this ever since it became clear, thoughts coming up like - "this is my home, i don't want to leave", "what if i don't like my next place as much?" "This place feels like a part of me now".

So the house I live in, as I write this I have lived here for a few years now on my own, and what this recent need to move has highlighted, is the reactions of paranoid fear, an obsessed attachment around losing this house - I hadn't really realised how much my mind has become attached to this place before.

I see how my mind is scared to lose this house, fearing letting it go, how I have defined myself as this house as the ego. This delusionary idea that I wont be as happy in someway, that a piece of me will be missing.

My current house very much has a "batcave" vibe about it, a "hidden castle" kind of thing, which I see is where my mind is building loads of connections of value in separation from physical reality.

Yet what has occured to me in the past day or so, as I started breathing, slowing down, introspecting on this situation, being honest with myself and applying common sense - i have started realising that who and what I am as life, is not defined through anything outside of myself.

Our pre-programmed minds are designed to become attached, addicted to anything that makes us feel good, the energy highs - sex, money, drugs, holidays, clothes, cars and houses do tend to be some of the most common ones.

I have realised that in reality I am equal to all houses existent on this planet, Earth is my home, meaning everywhere and anywhere is my home - thus in common sense any house of bricks that provides me a roof over my head and a life of dignity, is somewhere I can create as a new home for day to living.

I have many friends around the world who also recently have had to face these same points, what has emerged from this is an understanding that in life, we all must be clear around the point of housing - 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear moving from my house, I realise this fear is deriving from an idea where I have been defining this house as a part of who I am as the ego in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to claim ownership in my mind of a property that does not actually belong to me, I say this as I realise that all properties, whether my mind claims "ownership" or not, will be here in this world long after I am gone supporting a different being and thus no house in this world is truly owned by any human - every house is owned by mother earth, by this planet, this reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that the thought "this is my home" can be a statement given to any house in this world that will support me to live  with everything I need to succeed, thus this thought makes no sense to allow.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to realise that the statement "this is my home" is of the ego, where man as the capitalist money machine claims ownership to everything and all through money, whereas the statement - this is where i am being supported to live currently, it is adequate for my needs, is of self-honesty and common sense which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might not like my next house as much as the one I am in now, I realise this is my ego just trying to rationalise, trying to defend itself, trying to convince me that my happiness is determined by staying in my current house, when I see how my happiness in self-honesty is not determined by any specific house, I can create enjoyment living in any house that meets my needs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself through the house I live in currently, this definition i see is derived from an idea of myself as the ego being this lone wolf, secret agent super hero in his batcave and i see how I have allowed the actual design of the house itself to feed into this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this lone wolf, secret agent superhero where I apparently always "need" a "hidden cave" type of house, when in reality this idea of myself is not real, it exists in separation from who I am really am as life in equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the actual design of my current house, as being "perfect" to strengthen this idea of myself as it is difficult to find and has a hidden castle appearance to it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that the reaction of fear about moving is from this idea that my current house feeds into my "top secret" super activities and that these activities could be compromised in a new house.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as the "king in his castle" at my current house, due to its design being that of a castle - my own little hidden kingdom  my ego says - where I am master to lord over the lands and feeling that the inner walls of my castle are a secret hidden court cut off from the laws of reality, the same way my mind tries to create secret hidden kingdoms to get away with abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that in light of this hidden kingdom idea of my property - it is clearly actually of benefit to all life, that I do move to somewhere else to support myself to let go of this hidden kingdom, secret king/kingdom idea of myself and the house I live in currently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the idea of moving as being troublesome, due to the physical time and effort it takes - when in reality Rome wasn't built in a  day and anything of value in this world requires time and effort to garner the best results.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise in every breath, that home should be where I create heaven on Earth through living what's best for all, not where I feed into mind possessions where only hell on earth can be created.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to initially see that going anywhere my mind fears, always actually is a support to become comfortable out of my comfort zone, so that the more I do this through the years of walking my journey to life, eventually I will have "no zones" of fear left within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify living on my own because of keeping secrets in work and life, and to justify keeping secrets because I live on my own - when in fact outside of my work parameters of non disclosure, confidential classifications etc, there should be no other part of my life where secrecy and forced isolation of myself should occur.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be the silent king living in his hidden castle.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be "in love" with this house, and I see in self-honesty how this "love" is the systems idea of love as an obsession, an unhealthy belief that I need this house, because it lets me feed into my desires - which is not actually real love, as real love does not obsess, it supports, real love is not energy for desires, it is physical caring, intimacy and tenderness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to my house, attached to the energy for my ego I derive from living in this house - I realise that every addiction must come to an end no matter how long it is delayed, because it is based on energy and energy is finite, cannot sustain itself indefinitely without the physical, it is the physical that supersedes energy, not the other way around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having more neighbours as opposed to having not many like i do now, I see how this is again deriving from this lone wolf idea of myself which is not valid to exist, as it only limits my interaction with others and so having more neighbours is a support for me right now.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise in every breath that I am equal to all houses in this world - so I am responsible to be living in any dignified house of bricks in this world, the same way I am equally responsible in creating a stable house of bricks within and as myself.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to fear moving from the house I live in, I realise that this house is just that, a house I live in, it is not my ownership therefore it makes no sense to limits myself through fearing moving - so as and when I see my mind having thoughts based in fear of moving, I stop and breathe, I do not allow my mind to participate as doing so will only limit and enslave me as this fear and idea of myself as the ego which is not acceptable.

I commit myself to living the realisation that all houses in this world are equal as houses and so in reality any house that enables me to live in dignity is all i require, the attachment my mind creates to certain parts of this current property are not real as they feed into the idea that who I am is defined through one property in this whole world, which is separation.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to define myself or any house as being "a secret agent" or a "great house for secrecy" I realise that all secrecy is where abuse is perpetrated, when walking in full view, walking as a clear face with no secrets that abuse is always best for all in this world, thus I stop feeding into secrecy within my life and living.

I commit myself to building a house of worth as myself, a house of rocks, not a house of shifting sand, brick by brick no matter how much time and effort is required.