Day 271: Ain't no sunshine when shes gone

You know that feeling you get when your partner is not with you anymore? Maybe you had an argument and you are not speaking to each other for a longtime, maybe your partner has work commitments which means they have to disappear for months at a time, or maybe they died.

This doesn't have to actually be your partner, it could be just be one of your best friends or closest family members who you have a multi-layered connection too has disappeared.

So this is something that males and females experience, but for the purpose of this blog I'm focusing on being a male and missing your female partner or friend - because this is directly relevant to me, and while things have improved in this world in terms of equality between men and women, the reality is that this world is still geared towards the dominance of the male.

Multiple scenarios in my life have shown me this, like my one female friend who is a professional footballer yet gets paid less then £900 a week, meanwhile male footballers at her level get around £25,000+ a week. Or my other female friend who did not get a promotion at work, essentially because her bosses thought she was "too young and attractive" to be in management in the company and without saying it directly wanted a male in the management position instead.

So many times I have sat there thinking  - It must be so hard being a woman, I'm "lucky" to be a guy, how do they deal with the physical pain they have? How are they so naturally caring with such pains to deal with? They should be more aggressive then men really, but they aren't they are more caring.

Its this curious veneration which built up in my me in my life towards women and knowing that in an ideal world all males would be supporting females completely equal as life, making life easier for women in this world.

So as a male when you have a connection with a certain female and then this female disappears, It's the accumulation of moments of smiling and laughing together, learning from each other, supporting each other in various ways which in the mind causes a form of addiction to the person, so that when they have to disappear from your life for a period you notice a significant drop in your general happiness.

It almost feels like a dark cloud that comes over you, where everything seems darker, you get paranoid about where they are, you have an almost tangible sense of dread and hopelessness that washes over you.

As a male in this world I do notice that while I have male friends who I value dearly and miss when they are not around, it is the female friends and partners through the years that I have emotionally felt the most when they are gone.

When I look in my mind I can see that this started years ago in my mind, where It was from my mother growing up that I generally found this curious fascination with females - my mother was teh first person I saw in my life who could, cook, clean, do gardening, look after animals, she always had this natural caring nature to her, and an almost spiritual connection to life which I could not explain.

But as I grew up from seeing my mother support me and support all life around her to the best of her ability, that attentive caring - which is where I started developing this concept of women being more important then men essentially, in terms of being able to help me grow.

Then as I started to learn more about spirituality in later teenage years, it was like I saw my mother as an embodiment of mother earth herself, an unconditional feminine caring mother who provides all for everyone even when she has pain to deal with everyday from humanities stupidity.

I always notice that no matter how much I get on with a male friend, at some point I will become bored with their male energy, I will become more competitive, and be looking for an early exit to spend with a female friend instead so that I can experience that attentive female energy.

Then I notice how I have always compared every woman I have met in my life to my mother - in terms of, is this woman as caring as my mother? Could this woman achieve what my mother did despite her disabilities.

I know that when my mother is gone and actually dies, It will be the biggest dark cloud I have ever experienced, because it is a fear I carry and I notice it has become much worse since my dog Cypher died recently, its like I keep worrying that my mother will die soon.

Embracing the feminine, its like I see all the death and destruction going on this world, and I often feel that it is when all men in this world can walk with the feminine caring, the unconditional support for another that seems to be inherently easier for women to tap into, when men can walk as the point of looking after mother earth and all females who walk upon it, then our understanding of equality and oneness will become far more actualised and is where an Equal Money system will become far easier to direct into manifestation in every country.   

So there is a lot of points here which I need to walk so that I can stand up form the emotional reactions, where I can breathe and remain stable when she is gone, no matter that be my mother, my female friend/partner etc.

This way I can make sure I am best equipped to look after myself effectively as life and look after mother earth herself in everything that I do.

Walk with me next time as I continue this point.