Day 198: Why am I jealous when they talk to someone else?

So if you have a partner, or a friend that your sexually attracted to, someone that you spend a lot of time with, then undoubtedly at some point you will have experienced Jealousy when you see that person speaking to someone of the opposite sex.

It doesn't have to be sexual in the slightest way, it could just be seeing that person smile during a normal conversation with someone else of the opposite sex. It could be when your watching a film with your partner and they keep saying things about what the lead character needs to do. It could be that they share a similar interest with a friend that you do not, I mean the list of moments where jealousy creep up between people is pretty massive.

So recently I experienced this when my girlfriend went on a university trip to London. Now I've been to London so many times in my life, due to work and family/friends there, but for her it is very new and she has only been there once before. Now I'm not the biggest fan of city living, which factors into my reactions here, as I much prefer being closer to nature in the place where I live day to day.

Now when she told me about this trip, she said that she has friends in London that she wants to see again, and noticed that when she was saying that one friend was a female that she would be staying with there was no reaction - but when she said one friend was a male I reacted, and immediate jealous thoughts started coming into my mind.

I didn't hide this jealousy, I started asking about him, like how she met him, and how long they've known each other etc. She could tell I was jealous about it, and began reassuring me that she hasn't known him long and that I have nothing to be worried about.

Its fascinating how when we have a partner, or a friend that we like, we start thinking in the early days that we kind of "own them" in someway like a property, and that they must not even speak to people of the opposite sex lol. Its ridiculous, its like a paranoid thinking that they are having sex with their opposite sex friends just because they are meeting them.

I have female friends, and she has male friends, its just something that has to be accepted about people in life, so why would I be jealous about anything when there isn't even any sexual connotations involved here other then my mind is fabricating?

This was while I was driving to a restaurant with her, then there was some moments of silence, where I was thinking things but not saying them, and when we got to the restaurant, I was just agitated for the whole meal. I was complaining because the waitress didn't get me my drink until about 10 minutes after I ordered it, I was complaining because it was a Thai restaurant, yet I couldn't see any chopsticks on the tables, or even one person of Asian decent in a packed restaurant, as well as being slightly despondent with my partner.

Anyway this situation showed me that participating in jealousy does not have any beneficial impacts for any relationship to any capacity, if not dealt with effectively jealousy can be a destroyer of relationships. So I  wanted to write about this because it has come up this past week in my life, and she is coming back tonight, so I want to prepare myself in case there is any thoughts that come up so I can make sure I remain stable.

Trust is something which takes me a longtime to build up with anyone, even family members, because in my world I do not trust anybody until I know for certain through years of experience that I can actually trust this person with my life. But while that makes sense, and assists with strengthening real bonds and real trust, the experience of Jealousy does not make any sense at all to participate with and feed into.

 So If you have had some Jealousy issues come up in your life recently, then join me in my next blog as I continue to walk this point.