Day 132: Why do i always expect people to leave? The Ronin Lone Wolf always walks alone Part 2

Continuing from my last blog - I realise that this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character originated a long time ago in my youth -- I remember multiple moments growing up where my mum was in hospital for weeks and months at a time in some cases, which on top of having a father that I have never known, and a grandfather that was a reclusive ex-scientist that praised Nazi ideologies, these points culminated in me experiencing myself very often as being alone growing up.

I essentially have seen it as something "unchangable" in my mind, something that is just a part of me, and I have never truly dealt with the point, and at times even found a sort of melancholic enjoyment from feeding into this Ronin Lone Wolf character in my mind. Almost at times looking forward to not being around people whenever I am with people in social settings or in a relationship for instance. Kind of seeing life as a journey that I must walk alone, that I must get things done by myself, never ask for help, and while there will be people I interact with along the way, I must always accept there will be a day that they will walk away, so I must always be ready to walk on my own in all moments to avoid getting too attached to things -- Of course I have proven to myself many times with the Desteni tools that we can change anything about ourself if we are dedicated enough.

So obviously I have been realising recently that this character in my mind is complete bullshit, because although it is true that only I can take responsibility to change myself internally and in my interaction in this world -- it is only through unifying and enjoying working together with others where this world as a whole for everyone can change for the better. Co-operation instead of isolation - cooperation breeds beneficial movement for the species -- isolation breeds separation as only self-interest can come from isolating oneself.

I have believed that being alone is something enjoyable, peaceful and tranquil for most of my life. Now I mean there is nothing wrong with enjoying ones own company, in fact its a cool point because it indicates that a person is comfortable in their own skin, and does not require acknowledgement from others to be stable. But not at the expense of living what's best for all, because spending too much time on our own is not something that is supportive for us as living beings.
But there is much evidence for example that a person that is always trying to socialise, make jokes with people, and generally always trying to avoid being on their own, can sometimes be a very depressed person in reality, that is simply trying to avoid being on their own at all costs, so they don't have to face any of the depressed thoughts in their mind. However allowing myself to feed into this "Ronin Lone Wolf" character, literally directly causes the breakdown of communication or effective partnerships with another being - where developing dialogue with a person consistently is seen as something negative in my mind.

Also another point that I have allowed to charge this character in my mind, is that when I am on my own, it is easier to slow down and analyse each step I take, each thought I have, each movement I make with my body. Where as I have found that when I am with other people, I can sometimes find it more challenging to slow down and see clearly what I'm doing - so its a point of desiring to always move at my own speed, and fearing the fact that when I am with other people for a prolonged period of time, that I will have to compensate, change my movement schedule and possibly sacrifice something that I enjoy for the other persons benefit.

If we look at words like Alone and Relationship for instance - the word Alone is a really cool word, because it explains the point so perfectly within the construct of the word itself -- so when we are Alone, we are still All-One. Now I am taking responsibility to redefine this word within and as myself, so that in every moment I realise and live the point that while we are all alone to sort out our mind and re-design ourself to live what's best, it is only through everyone working together, assisting each other to live this realisation and make a better world with our hands in unity, that will result in a world where nobody feels Alone again. So one could say that humanities misunderstanding of the word Alone in tandem with Capitalism, is actually why so many people do feel alone in this world

The word Relationship also explains the point within the construct of the word - so a relationship is essentially a firm ship that is built between two people through a process of relating to each other consistently, assisting each other in every way, with no back doors. Interesting to note then that many people do experience feeling alone even when they are in a relationship, which is obviously because a meaning of the word Relationship that is best for all, is not being lived by both parties in each moment.

It really is fascinating when we look at the world as a whole as well, and how so many problems exist because of people not working together and wanting to be alone - how many problems in the world could be solved if we stopped "walking our own path" and started walking a path together? I mean just look at the religious and particularly spiritual beliefs that exist in the world, where it is believed that by "sitting in silence" on  our own, holding our body in a certain position, and speaking certain words with our eyes closed, and or believing certain things with our eyes closed, will have some sort of powerful effect to make beneficial changes in our life and in the world, which is complete bullshit in reality.

So its clear to me when I look at this one point for instance, that inside myself I have seen the point of "walking my own path" as something "spiritually deep", that I have defined myself as -- like a lifelong romanticised samurai style cleansing experience, that I have allowed myself to exist as for too long, and which is complete self-deception.

So here I stand and I am taking Self-Responsibility to end this "Ronin Lone Wolf" pre-program, because it does not assist me in living what is best for all, but rather keeps me in complete separation from physical reality, so join me next week as I investigate further, and walk self-forgiveness and commitment statements.