I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as this "Be Cool" character, where my attention and focus is on finding ways to make myself look "as cool as possible", projecting "maximum coolness" onto physical reality --
I have since realised that presenting and expressing myself in a certain way to try and manipulate people into thinking I am cool, is really not cool. I have realised that for a person or thing to be cool, it is not dependant on what the person or thing looks like, but is actually if the person or thing is benefiting others and is original in some way. I have realised that being cool is a living expression, not something that is put on like a suit. I have realised that it is fine to wear the clothes I like, or a certain pair of sunglasses, but not at the expense of myself here, by distracting myself from the task at hand with "looking maximum cool", or believing that I am enhancing myself in some way through trying to look as cool as possible, which is really just self-deception.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being is something that must be built through physical appearance and character, and then projected onto other people, and then verified by other. I realise that for something to be cool, it is a natural expression which does not require any building, projecting or verification - when something is cool, it is simply cool because it is cool, not because it is trying to do anything.
I forgive myself that I have not realised that regardless of how I look, or what I am projecting to others - it is through remaining stable as breathe equal and one to the physical that I can make decisions based on common sense, which is cool.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to manipulate the perspectives of others, trying to make them view me as cool, which is a very uncool thing to do, so I take self-responsibility to stop this behaviour now.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in certain moments to completely disregard what is best for all in the moment, because I am literally possessed within and as the mind, where I am making sure I am looking a certain way to apparently "maximise" coolness, which is completely unacceptable - it is cool to dress whatever way I want, but not at the expense of what's best for all in any moment.
I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments, that while a person or thing may appear cool on the outside, it is what is inside this person or thing, and how this person or thing benefits other people that will determine whether or not this person or thing is actually cool from a real physical perspective.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise what is best for all within my job, when I am driving, when I am cooking, when I am walking at certain moments and in other situations purely from existing as this "be cool" character.
I forgive myself that I have not realised that through accepting this "be cool" character in my mind as myself, it has caused me to always be thinking about what others are thinking about me, to always be concerned about whether or not they see me as cool - so its fascinating really, because the focus on being cool all the time has literally caused me to not be cool in every situation with other people, but rather just worried in every situation with other people -- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others around me are not seeing me as cool.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as cool, when I realise that I am not actually living an equal and one definition of the word cool in al moments in my life, which I commit myself to do now.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am an expert on what makes something cool, which is ridiculous, when I am not living as an expression of cool that is best for all in all moments, which means I am not an expert on what is cool.
I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that when I am trying to look and project coolness to others, that it is essentially my minds ego, simply looking for validation from others, which implies I am not completely comfortable with myself in all moments, feeling like I have to change something about myself to be accepted by others -- so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have validation from others, when I realise that it is through self-corrective application of breathing that this desire will disappear.
I forgive myself that I have not yet learnt that if I do not stop this pre-programmed pattern, then inevitably there will be a harmful consequence to myself or others, which I am not willing to allow to manifest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word cool to images in my mind growing up from various films, music and media of what cool is "supposed" to be - when I have since realised that it is through connecting the word cool to various dimensions implanted in my mind growing up that has actually kept me in separation from physical reality as a mind controlled robot, and thus separate from what is cool, which is completely not cool.
I forgive myself that I have not realised that this "be cool" character feeds directly into procrastination, because after all - as long as I am looking and feeling cool, then no task really matters apparently, every task comes second to "being cool", which is completely unacceptable -- you can notice a person that is possessed with this "be cool" character, because when someone gives them a task to do, they will only do the task in their own self-interested time frame, because apparently taking direction or orders from another person is not cool, which is complete self-deception.
I commit myself to not allowing this "be cool" character to exist within and as me any further - so when and as I see my mind attempting to go somewhere else into the "be cool" character, I stop and breathe -- I do not engage with any thoughts that come up, as I know that would just lead to a cycling of this character -- so I continue to breathe until there are no thoughts about being cool that come up, which will be cool :)
I commit myself to living the understanding that for something to be cool it has nothing to do with looks or what is presented to others - for something to be cool, it is a natural expression, it is a person or thing that is original and is beneficial for all life in some way, so when I see myself attempting to look or present myself a certain way thinking that I am making myself appear "cooler", I stop and breathe, I realise that while wearing I am comfortable in is cool, but trying to make myself "look cooler" is not possible - to be cool is up to me entirely in every moment, it is not up to anything else.
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