But today I realised that I am not really an expert on what is cool, because I noticed how I compromised myself by focusing on "looking cool" which is not cool. I have noticed this before, how I will sometimes totally disregard something which clearly needs to be sorted out now, purely because i'm spending so much time focusing on "being cool".
So the situation was I had slightly overslept recently on one morning, and so I was rushing to get ready for work. But after all the rushing, I finally got ready with 10 minutes to go until my shift started. Now bearing in mind that it takes 10 minutes to get to work, I really should have just got in the car and drove to work, and I would have been at work on time. But as I turned on the car engine and went to put my sunglasses on, I saw that the only pair I had in the car was my second favourite sunglasses, so I left my favourite pair of sunglasses inside the house. So I turned the car engine off, and spent the next 5 minutes finding my favourite sunglasses, even though I had a decent pair in the car. Then after I found my favourite sunglasses, they had a very small smudge on them so I spent another few minutes cleaning them and making them pristine.
Bear in mind that there is no practical reason why I prefer one pair to another, neither is more comfortable or anything, I just think that one pair looks so much cooler then the other. Now after all this fussing about over sunglasses for the sake of projecting the highest amount of "coolness" to others, on the way to work I started laughing to myself as I realised how stupid this behaviour was, and basically was why I turned up at work 15 minutes late.
There are countless situations where things like this have happened in my life because of focusing on looking cool - now being 15 minutes late for work is a relatively minor consequence of this brainwashing pattern, but when I am honest with myself there have been much more dangerous consequences that have nearly occurred from focusing on being cool --
for instance there has been more then a few occasions where I am driving and because i'm so worried and concerned that i'm projecting maximum coolness at all times, I will be looking in my mirror to adjust my sunglasses or tie on my suit, then when I look back at the road I have had to slam my foot on the break to stop myself from crashing because I was completely unaware as I was completely possessed by the "need" to maximise "coolness" --
Or I might be trying so hard to find the "coolest" music track while i'm driving which has sometimes caused a similar consequence where iv'e nearly crashed. Another example I remember is when I was cooking dinner one time, and while the food was cooking, I was focusing on compromising the "coolest" outfit for a date I had later in the evening, that I completely burnt the food so badly that I couldn't eat it. Another example is believing that a certain "style of walking" is cooler, where I kind of walk on the edge of my feet, which results in the heels on the shoes getting worn on one side, which eventually made the heel of the shoes completely uneven lol.
So it was this recent unnecessary lateness for work because of "having to have" the coolest sunglasses before I start driving, which iv'e been looking at and iv'e realised that I need to stop this focus on being cool asap - because there may be a dangerous and abusive consequence that may come one day if I do not. I have realised that being cool does not require specific sunglasses, clothes, music or walking style -- redefining Cool according to what's best for all, is simply something, or someone that is producing something beneficial for everyone - it is original and refreshing without looking for attention or recognition -- when something is cool, it is just cool, there is no "trying to be cool". So join me next week as I walk specific self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to end this mind fuck of coolness that I have allowed to exist as myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment