Day 321: You can't see me and the mind zombie

It's interesting when you watch a zombie film and you always notice that the zombies cannot feel pain, cannot feel reality even though their body is immensely damaged - then isn't it interesting also how as the pre-programmed mind fear directs us by accepting a limited view of reality projecting outcomes that make no sense  controlling decision making in self-interest always trying to avoid physical pain or what the mind perceives as painful to let go of.

Its like you can't feel physical reality as this mind zombie and once you start facing and removing the automated systems as this zombie we exist as, that then you do start experiencing that physical pain that you have been suppressing facing for however long.

You can see this with any number of addictions that you have, any patterns where the mind has tricked one into believing that this addiction is needed to avoid pain to avoid facing what is actually here and the damaging consequences of my allowances.

One I have noticed through the years that I have been and am facing and correcting within this blog and in my daily participation here is the point of being seen, where as the idea of myself as the ego I have defined myself as this lone wolf character for many years.

As this character I notice that when someone wants to take a picture of me in any capacity, or if i take a picture of myself, that I react and this fear comes up about being seen, like I am exposed that I am being spied on, as if the picture is taking something from me.

I will have a serious look on my face and will have to force myself to smile for the picture, then after the picture has been taken - more fear comes up as this backchat of not wanting to share the picture, not wanting to share this picture of myself with another as that would be counterproductive and "painful" to this lone wolf Idea of myself.

It really is stupidity which keeps me in separation from physical reality and thus does not assist me in anyway in living what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking and sharing pictures of myself as teh very act of taking pictures is a communicative action that we humans do to share moments of our lives - which is counter productive to the idea of myself from yteh ego that I am some kind of lone wolf, meaning people are apparently not supposed to see me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  for some many years to fear that removing this lone wolf character and having fun taking pictures will transform me and trap me as a selfie zombie, when in reality this fear actually reveals that I am existing as the mind zombie as a slave to this fear showing my limited understanding of how reality works.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who "can't be seen" as I am not "not supposed" to be seen as this lone wolf character I have defined myself as for so long -therefore I see how this is where my uncomfortability with pictures stems from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of when I was involved in more criminal undertakings in my younger years, where taking pictures in certain scenarios would have exposed a crime I was coimmiting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto and define myself according to memories of me and my grandad watching different spy films growing up, where the film and my grandads words would imply that when you know others and they don't know you, then you have the advantage and that it is the "Dawkins way" to keep yourself to yourself - I see how these memories limit me within and as this mental zombie of being afraid of cameras, having my picture taken and shared with others.

I forgive myself that from this I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people can see my crimes if they see my face, so its this automatic response of not wanting to be looked at for fear of someone noticing me from a previous criminal act and wanting to remain unknown, silent, secret, so that I can get away with more abuse when the camera is not running.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that removing the lone wolf character, taking and sharing pictures of myself with others will be something painful that I have feared to do, the ego tries to paint pictures in my mind of how bad it will be to become interactive with people through pictures - when in reality by facing and removing these beliefs and fears there is only the pain of waking up to physical reality, the initial pain of not having a pre-program to rely upon to suppress and distract myself from living what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that once you have faced and endured the pain of removing a pre-program that was causing consequences of abuse, through consistency and discipline this pain will eventually cease to exist as the tentacles of this automated system being removed from my physical body, purged from my image and likeness will over time result in more physical enjoyment here, not the false energetic enjoyment that comes from suppressing the pain existing as a mind zombie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pictures take a part of my "essence" as a living being, when as with any interaction if I am abusing the point through having a starting point of mind possession, being obsessed with something, being trapped in a endless cycle of pictures of yourself, then yes taking too many selfies will take away from who you are as life and will keep you trapped within and as a narcissistic self-interested zombie like idea of yourself - yet if one is breathing If my starting point is to simply share myself from time to time, as an interactive point of physical fun, then in fact taking pictures of myself assists in my living of what is best for all life.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as this mind zombie fearing the camera , that taking pictures of myself, is an egotistical, self-absorbed thing to do and I am apparently "so above that". I see, realise and understand that yes while one can fuck oneself within taking too many pictures, actually it is my own minds ego defending its lone wolf status as this mind zombie believing it is better then others by not taking selfies which actually highlights a far more self-absorbed nature then the point I am judging being that of taking pictures of myself and others who do this a lot.

I forgive myself that I have not realised how I have been influenced by movies about zombies growing up without being aware of what is happening, where the body fails due to damage and the effects are visible, while as the mind zombie this is where fear directs me through a limited view of reality in a brainwashed state, fear as the master with the consequence directly or indirectly being me or another physical lifeform in this world being abused through this allowance which is unacceptable.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept a society as humanity where the individual basically exists as the walking dead as mental zombies trapped in self-interest as the idea of themselves, unable to be compassionate in measurable ways that are best for all life, where each individual is given a life worthy of life itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept an world system based on profit for the few, where the majority act like zombies unable to coherently stand together to direct into existence a social structure where all life is honoured and respected equally, but instead accept their enslavement to a system that causes inequality and suffering.

I commit myself to not allowing participation with any fear based reactions my mind has about taking pictures of myself -  so as and when I see my mind having thoughts come up, I stop and breathe, I realise that to interact with these thoughts will keep trapped in the cycle of this automated idea of myself as someone who "shouldn't be seen" which is bullshit limitation, so I just breathe in this moment and continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that anytime there is fear that changing something about myself  will be painful, then that is a sign that I am existing as a mental zombie trying to avoid this pain suppressing facing it, allowing fear to control me -  and so the very fear of this change, tells me that it will be a change that is beneficial to all life and one that I must persevere to achieve here.

I commit myself to investigate and study the way the mind publishes information into my body as pre-programs, so that I can make sure that I only publish and activate systems that will work in ways that I have confirmed are to the benefit of all life, where I can develop self-trust as all parts of me show as being best for all in always.

I commit myself to clear my mind of all thoughts, visions, reactions, back chat, feelings, emotions, clearing my body from all forms of accepted automations that keep me in an automatic zombie state which causes rape, ware, starvation and inequality to go on in silence maintaining a civilisation of abuse - breath by breath I will through this clearing of my mind create a civilisation that is based on the foundation of giving to all life equally as the image and likeness of what's best where I give to others as I would receive myself.