Day 311: Reflecting on this year and preparing for the next one Part 2

So continuing from my last blog join me as I walk self-forgiveness statements that will support into 2019 and beyond -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind not fully acknowledge the things I achieved in 2018, but instead regretting the things that didn't go to plan and being annoyed that my chief aims were not achieved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret the things in 2018 did not go to plan - I realise that failure is a part of the road to success in anything and initial regret is understandable when something fails, but allowing myself to be mentally affected by these failures and regrets is not acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define 2018 as regrettable for the most part, when this definition only exists in separation from myself a pattern that I have have carried from previous years that I also defined as regrettable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define certain years as bad omens, bar karma etc and some years as good omens, good karma etc. I realise that this is my pre-programmed mind trying to create additional value onto certain years then others feeding into a polarity friction within all existence.

I forgive myself to create and promulgate a polarity friction where I define certain years as better then others, when in reality as this breathe of life here as who I really am - i see every year is exactly the same, it is the same as breathing - each year is just the next breathe - there is no good or bad within each year, there is only what is allowed and what is created as always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a failure in 2018 - I realise when I am breathing here in self-honesty, that yes while some things didn't work out in 2018, somethings did, and the things that didn't are simply indicators of things I need to learn/adjust/align in my life here, yet defining any year or myself as a failure is thoughts and projections in my mind which is not real and thus is not acceptable to exist.

I forgive myself that I have have accepted and allowed myself to fear that these failures and regrets from 2018 will continue into 2019. However, I understand and realise in common sense as this breathe that fearing these things in the mind only assists in its manifestation and it is only when this fear is released through self-forgiveness and breathing that real beneficial change will occur where the pre-programmed patterns of the past will not re[eat and failures from previous years can be turned into success in any year here.

I forgive myself that despite being confident about my abilities, that I have accepted and allowed to sometimes doubt myself that I will be able to get my life to where it wants to be in 2019 or any year - when in reality I know that I can create anything, I have the potential, the capacity and the will to make anything occur. 

I forgive myself for not realising in all moments that self-doubts simply limit and dis-empower me, so they only sabotage my life and they are not real, so it is not acceptable to participate with them.

I forgive myself for not realising in all moments of breathe that it is ok to have failures and regrets, but it is the learning and changing from these failures and regrets that is crucial to be able to avoid these fuck ups in the future.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in each moment that these regret experiences about 2018 and other years is nothing but my ego is fucking with me, trying to convince me that I am a loser because of not hitting my chief aims in 2018.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience embarrassment about getting a lot of flus/colds in 2018, I realise these embarrassment emotions stem from my ego which is not used to my body getting ill, because I have defined myself in my life as someone that doesn't get ill.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as somebody who doesn't get ill.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that no matter how healthy you are, how good your genetics are, everyone can be afflicted by illness sometimes and typically this will become more often as we get older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear illness will continue to afflict me throughout 2019. I can see clearly that this fear will not assist me in living what is bets for all in anyway and will only cause to make myself ill through the thought power I put into it - so I take self-responsibility to stop thinking about it, because illness can happen anytime naturally, it doesn't need any assistance from my own fears.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret that while i did investigate and correct many points in 2018, there was many others that I was not as effective on -  which I realise that the most difficult points are simply ones that are more deeply ingrained, points that require the most attention, the deepest investigation and more consistent alignment to transcend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret that for another year again, I am financially stable but not financially free.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to regret spending my time so thinly across too many points in relation to business - I see and realise that this merely indicates that I must be more cerebral and calculating with my time, focusing on the right priorities in my schedule day to day.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to regret not doing as much travelling as I wanted despite going to 3 countries - I see how pointless this is, because I am thankful for what travelling I have done in my life, which for my age is actually a lot - there is no need to regret this, because I have travelled a lot, I am lucky to have done so and more will come in the future providing I do what I need to financially and in all relationships to make sure I can create more free time to travel in my life.

I forgive myself for not realising in every breathe that any points which are not being corrected simply means I must be more consistent and disciplined with my self-honesty here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret that basic income is not here for all life yet because capitalism is still the predominant economic system in place - there is no need to hold onto or define myself according to this regret, because I feed into capitalism like everyone else while building a new money system from myself outwards - if a money system that's best for all life is not installed on planet earth yet, then that simply means more effort, more bodies is needed - so I must continue to build and live as an example of what I want to see in the world, which will extend out into more people standing up 1+1+1 until its done.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see in every here breathe that regret is actually a great indicator of movement, because it shows that one has been taking action to do things, but the results haven't been what one wanted yet - but it is the whole point of having to face your fears to take the action in the first place, so now this regret experience that your actions didn't go to plan is now ones support to make more effective actions next time, because the initial moving oneself to get things done in the face of fear is already effective. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sometimes lose enthusiasm once I start failing in certain parts of any undertaking - this loss of enthusiasm only makes me less and less effective which is not acceptable, so I take self-responsibility to maintain enthusiasm regardless of how much I fail at something.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allow myself to realise in every breathe that 2019 is just another year for new opportunities, new learning, new changes, new interactions -  I do not allow thoughts where the seeds of fear exist to taint my perspective on any year.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to continually carry any fears, doubts, failures, and regrets from 2018 into 2019 - so as and when I see my mind having toxic thoughts come up which are based in these elements dis-empowering me -  I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to participate/feed into these thoughts because a repetition of pre-programs will occur - so I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that a year is a year, it is just numbers that are not important, what is important is who and what I allow myself to be in any year, month, week, day, moment, so no matter what happens in 2019, I always know that everything starts with and comes back to self here as with any year.