Day 224: I can't sleep Part 2

So continuing from last week - are you struggling to sleep often? A pattern of not being able to sleep easily for years? Well I understand this very well, better then most as I myself have had sleep issues for a long time now, and within this blog i am walking solutions that I can implement to improve my sleep habits.

Now as I mentioned in my last blog, there are certain technologies and chemicals that can cause a person to stay awake or go to sleep for a varied length of time.

Let me give you a few examples - there are many variations of different frequencies that can be aimed at a person or groups of people to effect their mind and physical physical body from a long distance.

There is certain advanced Isochronic Tone amplifiers that exist for instance, which is a proven form of brainwave entrainment - this technology can be used to assist a person by helping improve focus, stress reduction, motivation and study optimisation - but this technology like most technology ever created has been abused by the usual illuminated suspects.

Other technology you can look into that has been proven to have a variety of applications, including effecting sleep patterns in a person is - Remote Neural Monitoring, which was developed by the NSA some time ago as a way of tracking peoples thoughts, as well as implanting thoughts and a whole host of other applications.

If we look at chemicals I mean we really don't need to say anything at all, because it is pretty much common knowledge that there are thousands of chemicals which can be used to effect peoples sleep patterns positively or negatively.

But one of the most powerful ways of all that effects my sleep patterns the most, is my own thought patterns that run through my head at night.

As the ego, I have judged sleeping as a form of weakness for a longtime to start with, that I am in a "vulnerable state" when i am sleeping, and the whole concept of  writing sleeping off as something I will do when I die.

Also even though I have not had any dreams for nearly a decade, there is a fear of what I may experience if I am asleep, that something bad can be done to me while I am in this "vulnerable state" of REM/NREM sleep phases. It's almost like I created my own insomnia in my life in relation to sleep, through these concepts alone keeping me in separation from physical reality.

So as a result of this I resist any tiredness that comes up intently, where I have effectively brainwashed myself to not accept any physical tiredness that comes up, where I want to feel like "I am in control" of when I sleep, not this tiredness "trying to consume me now" or anyone else wanting me to go to sleep.

When in reality as I mentioned in my previous post, sleep is something that is a requirement for everyone, and is beneficial for general recuperation of the mind and body - so having all these resistances, and fears of sleeping will obviously only have negative mental and physical health effects on me, it only makes getting to sleep more difficult, and actually getting into deep sleep even more so.

Having a short temper, tiredness during the day at random moments, headaches, nausea, losing focus

easily while working on tasks, and making mistakes are common minor side effects of not getting enough sleep.

Then also this is something I learnt years ago when I was around 8 years old, I remember my mother was in hospital and I was staying with my granddad. After he had had a long deep ranting chat about something to do with Science, the Occult, History or Aliens which were his usual favourite topics - when I started going to sleep that night and nights after that, I just started worrying about everything in my life a lot.

I would worry about my mother being seriously ill in hospital, the crazy things my granddad would talk about, wondering where my father and grandmother are, wondering why they don't want to see me, worrying about the future, thinking that my family will cease to be, so I must stay up like the adults for as long as possible, because I must take the responsibility of an adult now.

I have noticed that as more responsibility has grown into my life, more points to deal with and the constant knowledge of knowing that more people rely on me then ever before, has added to the spiralling thoughts that keep me awake at night.

Then I have routinely been trying to distract myself from these stressful thoughts before sleeping by focusing on some form of distractions from these thoughts like computer games, or sexuality - where I am playing games or having sex with a female friend for hours into the night, or I'm sexting and masturbating with some female friend that I have had sex with before.

Every woman I have had sex with in my life, has usually been incredibly tired the next day just from how much energy I had late at night, while they were getting really tired. Then understandably this is not a process that many women can keep up with, as they usually just feel tired all the time from my crazy sleep patterns.

So all these things are an issue, all of the things happening in my mind in relation to sleep is not necessary, i must learn to make my sleep patterns more practical, to not be trapped in a cycle of shit in my mind keeping me from having supportive sleep patterns -

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a pattern of avoiding sleeping, through judging sleeping and the act of "submitting to being tired" as something that is a sign of apparent "weakness" in a person as the ego. However, even though I do not tire easily, I realise that avoiding sleeping if I am psychically tired is just me allowing my ego to dictate to me when to sleep, as if I am apparently "stronger" if I always push through the tiredness that comes up which is bullshit, and as studies show, the effects of sleep deprivation are mentally and physically damaging for the most part, so I cannot allow this self-sabotage to continue.

So join me next time as I continue to walk in investigating and pulling apart the limitations in my mind in relation to sleeping, and re-designing my mind to have as supportive a sleep pattern as possible.