Day 150: I can't lose Part 2

Continuing from my last blog -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the feeling of winning in betting to continue after gaining victory once, I realise that this desire is in complete separation from the physical, it is just so I take self-responsibility to end this point now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a belief to develop through participating in risk free matched betting with free bets, that I can "see" the outcome of sporting events. I realise that this belief is nothing more then my ego tricking me into beginning to believe that even if I participated in high risk traditional betting, I will not lose because of this belief that I can "see" the outcome.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in the moment immediately what is happening in my mind, and that this apparent "vision" to know sporting outcomes, is just complete ego, because in reality I do not actually have a real physical ability to know outcomes of sporting events, so I am not willing to allow this "vision" fuck up in my mind to exist any further.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that while I have been consistently winning through matched betting with free bets, while it has seemed like "harmless" winnings, it has actually been accompanied by a reaction and separation process in my mind of this desire and belief developing.

I forgive myself that I have not been aware that any allowance of this desire and belief to develop in my mind will inevitably result in me participating in high risk betting, and a betting addiction becoming me which is only abusive to me and everyone I know, and so is completely unacceptable.

I commit myself to not allowing the desire of the feeling of winning to exist any further within and as me. So as and when I see thought coming up based in this desire, I stop, I breathe, I do not allow myself to participate in this thought. I realise in the moment that any participation with these thoughts will result in the separation of myself and an addiction to energy developing which is not acceptable.

I commit myself to not allowing any beliefs that I can "see" the outcome of sporting events to develop within and as me, so as and when I see myself going into thoughts that I can "see" the outcome of these sporting events, I stop and I breathe, I realise  what will happen if I allow myself to participate in these thoughts, so I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to living the realisation that betting is fine as long as there is no abusive patterns to myself and others involved, I realise that betting must be something which is done from a starting point of enjoyment and physical bonding with friends for fun, and where there is no financial risk involved for myself or anyone, which provides an outcome where no matter what the result is everyone wins :)

I commit myself to not engaging in any form of betting from the starting point of energy, I realise that this is only damaging to myself and everyone in my world, so as and when I see my mind wanting to participate in betting within energy, I stop and breathe and continue to do so until there is no more thoughts that come up in my mind.