Day 25: Great expectations! As an “Expecting the best” Character.

Have you ever expected “the best” from yourself or a situation/person? I have so i walk in my journey to Life  –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a character within and as the pre-programmed mind of expecting the best from something outside of myself as hoping for a positive outcome, and within this I realize I cannot possible stand as the directive principle of life living what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that when I exist as this character I am completely possessed as the mind consciousness system where I’m not breathing and I am completely unaware of the polarity consequence where focusing on a “positive” outcome to anything will simply result in a “negative” outcome, an outcome of abuse which must be stopped.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am justified in existing as this character because it assists with “more positivity” being attracted to my life when this is not true in anyway whatsoever.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that within existing as this expecting the best character it is revealing in any moment that I actually am fearing the worst for whatever it is that I’m working on.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that within expecting anything of myself or something outside of myself, I am actually existing as a hope, want and desire, waiting for someone or something to come and sort out the problem I have whatever it may be, and within this I am not taking self-responsibility for myself, for the consequences that I myself and all of humanity allowed, so I must stop. 

 I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment of existing as this expecting the best character, that the expectations i have about something in my mind rarely match up to actual physical reality fact of something, where my expectations are always, “greater”, “bigger” and “more magnificent”, when in actual fact this is complete bullshit projected illusion in my head, and I realize that the expectancy for something to be “great” and “big”  is revealing that I myself desire to be “great” and “big” in some way, when in actual fact there is nothing “great”, “big” or “magnificent” 

about the humans and the state of this world currently there is only abuse which requires correction. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted an allowed myself to experience disappointment when I see that my “larger than life” expectations do not come to manifest as i expect where the result is smaller than my expectations. I realize that whenever I experience this disappointment that my expectations have not been met as this expecting the best character, that this disappointment is actually supportive  so I can see, realize and understand that is all originated from me, and that if I took self-responsibility, having no “big expectations” of any kind then I would not be experiencing this disappointment. 

I forgive myself that I have not realized in every here moment of breath, that the more disappointment I experience from my expectations not being met, then the more complacent and disinterested i become with everything through thought accumulation, where this disappointment essentially mutates into depression.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience depression from a repeated experience of disappointment when my expectancies are not met as this expecting the best character. I realize that if I simply direct myself within and as breath, stopping the character immediately when it comes up as a thought or feeling or emotion, then there will be none of this knock on effect happening in the mind, and thus no disappointment or depression from it. 

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within accepting and allowing this expecting the best character, that I cannot see and do what’s best for all because I’m only focused on what’s best for me in self-interest as the ego. I realize that this is completely unacceptable and in order for me to do what is best for all I must let go of this character through specific self-forgiveness in self-honesty and breathing application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this expecting the best character, to sometimes kid myself into believing that I’m not expecting something from a situation when someone points this character out, where I get offended as a defensive starting point of the mind as ego which is in fact just showing that what this person has pointed out in me as this expecting the best character is what I’m allowing within pretending I’m not expecting the best. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this expecting the best character to sometimes pretend I am not expecting the best to fit into a certain social situations, where I’m trying to get recognition from someone else that I’m “so cool” for not expecting the best when in fact I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire recognition as attention from another, and I forgive myself I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop participation as this expecting the best character where there is no expecting or a façade of not expecting to get attention, there is only here as breath as who I really am as life but who I have not yet lived as in totality of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to manipulate others as this expecting the best character to try and fit into certain social groups/ work situation, just so the person will like me, however I realize that within this I am hoping the person “buys” this character thinking I’m a positive person, which is where I actually manipulate myself also to believe something about myself which is not real but is only based in pre-programming.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that within existing as this expecting the best character, I am automatically then surprised when I don’t receive what I want according to what i expect in my mind, which then I allow to cause annoyance as an emotional response. So I realise that within expecting the best in any situation I am simply setting myself up for an angry annoyed response when my expectancy doesn’t manifest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this expecting the best character is real, when in fact it is simply a self- belief in my mind in complete separation from physical reality here. 

I forgive myself that I have not realised that within allowing myself to believe that this expecting the best character is real, I actually then within this belief expect the best to happen in all areas of my life, which is not true at all, and as I revealed earlier this can lead to extensive anger/annoyance when things don’t go according to my “positive expectancy”.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that within the expecting the best character I am simply projecting my self-glorified, deceptive imaginations of reality onto the physical reality that’s here which is complete separation of myself which must be stopped here within and as each breath.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that within allowing myself to exist as this character I am then also expecting to be the centre of attention, where everyone acknowledges me and things fix themselves. I realize that this is simply an idea of myself and reveals my ego, because in fact nobody is the centre of attention of anything other than in our minds, and there is nothing that can fix itself, to believe this is so is to deny my self-responsibility and say I have no responsibility its someone else’s problem which is a starting point of hiding.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that within this expecting the best character, I simply put pressure on myself, others and the world to produce what my expectations are craving for  where I am simply manipulating myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that it is best for all to have no expectations of anything, because within having no expectations based in self-interest, then I can actually focus on doing what’s best for all through remaining stable as breathe. 

I forgive myself that I have not realise din all moments that this reality works according to a 1+1 accumulation effect of physical participation, not according to imaginary characters in my mind .

I commit myself to not allowing myself to be controlled and exist as this expecting the best character, because I see, realize and understand that this character is in complete separation from physical reality and thus is not real, and thus is not relevant to allow.

I commit myself to no longer focus on a “positive” outcome from a situation, because i realize that this is simply a character of the pre-programmed mind where I cannot do what’s best for all through allowing this character, and where my idea of a “positive outcome” is basically a selfish outcome where I can win ahead of others in complete self-interest.

I commit myself to if I become this character again, to not allow myself to become disapointed, depressed, annoyed, angry or frustrated in anyway if an expectancy does not manifest the way I saw it in my mind, because i see the starting point of myself is separation within this.

I commit myself to not fearing what others will say if I stop presenting myself as this expecting the best character to work colleagues, because it is complete self-deception.

I commit myself to having no expectations in self-interest in any situation, and I realize that within expecting anything from anything I am actually revealing what I fear to lose, which is disempowerment of myself, so I commit myself to stopping this.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to project my bullshit beliefs and imaginations of expectancy onto this physical reality. 

I commit myself to whenever this expecting the best character comes up as a specific thought in my head, to not engage the thought, to simply stop and flag what is happening, and then to focus on breathing to remain stable and exist as who I really am, as the physical character, which is the only real character that exists.