Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Snooker Competition Reactions

Once every few weeks i go and play snooker with my mate in the evening for a few hours, and since walking my process it has been really cool to apply myself on all reactions that come up while playing snooker, or participating in any sport. Because in this current accpeted system of polarized friction, competetion is supported to exist so that we humans can attain power and control over another as being "the winner" and "loser" polarity friction and i do not accept that. Sport and Politics are two massive industries that support competition as separation to exist currently, but i enjoy expressing myself unconditionally within sport and exercise as a tool of self-support to stop all recations, and direct myself to remain stable through corrective application within and as the physical as breathe while playing, just enjoying breathing and moving myself, not participating in any competition of the mind attempting to cause harm to another vor "victory". So i enjoy participating as snooker because it is focused around the controlling of emotions, slowing down, staying silent and stable to be effective in the game which i find cool.

And a few months ago, i noticed that there was this underlying competition point existing within myself while playing snooker with my mate. Its when i notice that my friend would react emotionally when he missed a shot, or when i missed a shot, saying things like "oh that was a fucking shit shot", then i noticed that i started reacting to him reacting by getting sarcasstic, about his shots that missed, saying stuff like "your gona miss Matthew" attempting to play "mind games" so that he might become unstable in his game from my sarcasstic jabs, so that i have a better chance to win. All in this "joking" whispering tonality that we play with eachother, when really we are both accepting and allowing competition to exist by trying to put eachother off slightly in between shots, decieving eachother so that we have a better chance of winning - then i quietly started laughing at myself within the situation, realising how unacceptable what i was allowing within myself. I stopped participating in the point of sarcassm as competition immediately, i stated the word Delete outloud, then applied the four count breathe stabilizing myself.

Anyway since this realization i went further into the point eventually then realising that the whole starting point of why im playing snooker with my mate in the first place, is dishonest because im actually participating to just play this "sarcasm mind battle" out, which went back a long way in my mind to memories of competing in various sports growing up, using "winning techniques" such as sarcassm, trying to harm the other persons chances of winning, separating myself from the physical experience, instead of just enjoying the game unconditionally as self-aware movement as self-expression as the physical.

So for the past month i have been applying myself on this point repeatedly as and when i play snooker with my mate. To the point where now when we play, i am not reacting to my mates reactions, im not reacting when i miss a shot or he misses a shot, i am not interested in attempting to cause harm to him through back chat manifested as sarcastic snakey joking comments, i am only interested in offering supportive comments on what shots i honestly think he could play that will improve his game uncondtionally as myself, i am just remaining stable within and as breathe standing in equality and oneness within playing snooker. A cool thing about this, is since i have cleared up my starting point and stopped reacting while playing snooker by sticking to breathe, my friend also has stopped making sarcastic comments, and has started offering supportive comments in between shots, which has improved both of our potting ability and general play, so my own application seems to have had an effect on him. So our games have become much more silent now, because i accept and allow myself to stand as the silence as the physical as breathe in self honesty within playing snooker, utlizing the sport as self-support, applying myself within and as it, expressing myself unconditionally as the physical, so that i am supporting myself physically here, as opposed to mind possessions manifested- Best for all.

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