Day 404: What is sexual preference?

To know what we enjoy within partners and sex is cool, because the point of relationships and sex really is about being yourself and the other person doing the same, its enjoyable for all when this is the starting point.

Sex is a requirement of the physical body, like food, drink, sleep, pissing and shitting - yet having sex as who we are is something that all of humanity must develop. Is our sexual preference actually real? Its an interesting question, because the majority have allowed the system that's here to program them to have mind sex as evidenced by porn being the biggest internet search in humanity and mainstream content is more sexualised then ever before.

What do I mean by mind sex? I mean that when you think about sex all the time, when you get to having sex you will actually be stuck in the mind, playing out a porn film, thinking about how the sex should be going, building towards a big crescendo as a momentary orgasm based on an image - missing being here in your body expressing and enjoying yourself as a constant orgasm. 

So the system that is here which we have allowed to develop has turned sexual preference into a mind fuck, where people have this idea in their mind of what is sexually attractive based on their life experience, environment, porn addictions etc.

This chasing of momentary gratification, this focusing on how perfect a person looks, as opposed to communication. This idea, this image that has developed of the "perfect sexual partner" we define ourselves by it with pride in many cases, where we believe that anything that does not match "this perfect image" does not match our sexual tastes and so is not worthy of interacting with/developing a relationship with that person even when our communication is supportive. That's a fuck up.

Like I say knowing what we enjoy is cool and there of course must be some level of attraction between two people initially, but having an image that we turn into a religion is really fucked up. For example the idea that we must always have loads of skills and things that we both like, I mean that's cool to like similar things, but not to disregard people who don't because why is it an apparent negative if we don't have everything "in common" because from my perspective if the starting point is fucked then it doesn't matter if their is similar likes, and its also just as cool when we don't have everything in common because it forces us to have to embrace new things we don't normally consider in order for the relationship to develop, which actually provides a cool expansion into new territory for both.

A friend of mine said to me this past week about communication issues with his partner and that he isn't sure about maintaining it. He told me he wishes they had more in common, he wants a partner that doesn't complain, that the sex could be a certain way and ideally the woman is of a certain physical design. I said to him OK, but sex and relationships is about your relationship with yourself expressing with another, merging and enjoying - also things in common is just that, not a defining factor of relationship success, also everyone complains sometimes, so what happens when you bring it back to self? Is it perhaps that you are saying you want a partner that is submissive to your word, that always agrees, never challenges you so that you can experience yourself as in control? Maybe its the point of being challenged that you need to build stability within or desiring to be better at challenging others.

He could see what I was saying and I also followed it up with the point of - if you met someone who complained a lot from your perspective, wasn't of the physical design you want - but she was actually the person you have the best communication/interaction with in your life and you support each other more then anyone else, why would you not build a relationship with her? Would you really allow an idea of a perfect partner to fuck that up? The ego always creates a grass is greener scenario a polarity friction within all things in this system of capitalism and none more so then in relation to sex and relationships.

I know exactly the experience he is having though, as I have been facing my sexual preferences also, we say we want to have a relationship with great sex, yet the polarity we allow as ourselves actually keeps us further away from building the reality of this relationship as whats best for all.

Do you have a strong connection with a person? Harness and strengthen it, equalize your vocabulary together, walk together, do not allow a limiting image in your head to fuck it up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my sexual preference is based on separation as an idea, as pictures and images I have developed through years of impulsing myself through pornography, mainstream media which is all based on mind fucking, which is abuse. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on the other person within sex and relationships, on what they need to do/look like etc, as opposed to realising that in order to be best for all sex and relationships is about being myself and expressing myself from that starting point with another doing the same, merging and sharing enjoyment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not realise that sex and relationships are actual basic needs just like any other fundamental basic need of the body such as food, water, drink etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not questions if the starting point of my sexual preference is actually best for all or not because I'm only interested in getting the energy that I WANT instead of considering/serving the needs of both participants in the agreement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire sex because of not allowing myself to express myself to really enjoy the pleasure of being myself with another, where I over-calculate and think in turmoil - then having sex to try to release those energies, only to create the same fuck up all over again, needing sex to feel stable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the maximising of pleasure within sex ONLY occurs when we remove the barriers we place inside ourselves, rather then chasing momentary sugar rushes of energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and fuel a polarity friction within and as me, where I am always comparing what is here as not as good against this beautiful image in my mind in relation to sex, where the grass is always greener in complete separation of myself from the physical as life which is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that when one has this starting point in relation to sex one will never be satisfied, because in the mind everything is so perfect, I can fuck for 100's of hours, I do everything so well, when in reality here as this physical body I cannot actually live up to this image in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself many times in the past to ignore how effective the communication is with another, to sabotage the interaction just because the image did not match what I was desiring, which is a complete mind fuck.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in the past many times to do exactly what my friend was doing of believing that unless we have everything in common the sex/relationship wont work, again creating a fucked up polarity and placing responsibility on the other as opposed to living as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that while its cool to have things in common that you both like, to use it as a benchmark of success is a mind fuck, because I realise that when we both don't have everything in common, it pushes us both to expand as beings by embracing something new that our partner likes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge someone else for not adhering to my sexual/relationship preferences, when really I'm just projecting the judgement I have towards myself for having these sexual preferences which I know in self-honesty limit my expression with another within sex/relationships/

I commit myself to exposing the difference between the limitations of sexual preference based on the mind as opposed to expressing myself as myself as the physical with another.

I commit myself to showing how the system that is currently here is designed to brainwash everyone into self-isolated mind fucking.

I commit myself to living the realisation that whether I have things in common with someone or not, if the communication is effective then it is best for all to walk together in agreement if both are willing and with clear starting points.