Day 373: I can do this in my sleep - When the master deteriorates

It's a satisfying experience to become an expert in something, which will be indicated by not requiring thought because you have repeated the process so many times that it has become a part of your physical body.

Everything is automatic now, because the master knows automatically what to do, the muscle memory has developed to be incredibly strong and elastic from repeated trial and error.

Yet what I have noticed is that sometimes once I have become a master in a certain field, this can not only affect the ego to believe one knows everything in the field, that there is nothing else to learn where my focus wanes. Or if there is anything within this field that is frustrating me, if I do not stay clear here, then I can become lazy, procrastinate, where my master status in that field not only starts to stagnate in growth but also actually begin to deteriorate.

Recently as an example one of my jobs I had become a master in, yet I made a poor mistake in this job causing me to lose some money. This mistake while there were varying factors, one of the major factors was becoming lazy with the idea that "I can do this in my sleep".

I remember being a child and me and my mum were going shopping, my mum told em to put my shoes on and I was excited to show her that I could do my laces with my eyes shut. When I opened my eyes while I had indeed done my laces with my eyes shut, I tripped over one of the loops as I made it too big. If I had not closed my eyes, if I had not allowed my ego to try to show off that I am such a master, then I would had done my shoelaces perfectly well.

I have thus realised in life that no matter how sharp the blade is, it will always require more sharpening to be at its optimal power. Meaning we can never thinkin we know it all in anything we do, because there will always be more to learn, I have seen how if I allow my egpo to get involved once I become a master, then inevitably the master status will deteriorate.

So I must nakesure that whenever I become a master in anything, that I remain as such, that I  do not deteriorate by continuing to strive, to always be open to learning more and to understanding that even when I can do something with my eyes closed, doesn't mean I should because it's actually best for all to stay focused.

Walk with me -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with thoughts that have come up  as a pattern at various points in my life, that I can do something in my sleep. I realise that participating with this thought only gives the consequence of losing focus and being more prone to making a mistake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that if I have any resentment or annoyance towards something im a master in, then again this makes it likely that a loss of focus and mistake will occur.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that not only do mistakes occur, but my status as a master in something will actually only deteriorate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who is so smart that I do not always need to focus when I am a master at something. This definition of myself is a limitation in complete separation from life, therefore it does not assist me in living what is best for all life, so I let it go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in every breath that there is never an end date to any level of expertise, because there is always new systems, tools and changing factors that must always be accounted and adjusted for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the idea of doing things in my sleep is the very basis of this system of capitalism that values intellects ego ahead of common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of me showing off to my mum as a kid that I could do my shoelaces with my eyes closed, which even though it was true, still resulted in an unnecessary mistake -  I see how holding onto this memory which is the starting point keeps me in separation of myself here still affecting me, so I release this memory here through sticking to this breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in every here breath that even the sharpest sword needs to be kept sharp or it will get blunt.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to let my ego fuck with me the next time I become a master in something, so any annoyances or ideas that it's too easy come up trying to justify trying "to do it in my sleep" I stop  and breathe, I do not allow myself to participate as doing so will only limit me moving forward, So I breathe and continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.

I commit myself to living the realization that if I do not keep my master status clear and sharp in anything I do, then I will inevitably become blunt and thus more prone to mistakes and deterioration.

I commit myself to exposing that the idea of something being so easy we can do it without any focus at all,  is based in separation as this capitalist money system that values the ego of intellect over common sense which is unacceptable.