Day 369: Are you a real friend?

It's not something to ever fear, yet it is something you always have to aware of in your social circles in life, those who you may believe are your friends - but in reality while your intentions and starting point of the friendship may be clear with someone - their intentions/starting point could be abusive.

Smiling in your face, taking advantage of your giving nature, liking things they do with you, liking things they get from you, but not really liking you - and when it suits them, they will forget everything you have done with them and they will look to stab you in spite in thought and deed.

It's always disappointing to be let down by someone you thought cared about you, but when humans are programmed to be creatures of self-interest and deception it is not surprising.

You will alway find out who are your real friends when some form of controversy arises, when you change something about yourself and in these moments it's important to not react, to never be surprised when someone's true feelings about you surface - in the most testing of moments, these people will reveal that they always never cared, they always wanted to see you fall, but have simply been laying in wait for a clear opportunity to strike as every snake does.

I reacted in extreme disappointment towards someone I thought was a friend recently, which I have done before and this pattern doesn't assist me. I was also disappointed in myself for not spotting this persons Jealousies, Judgements and Blames etc towards me.

I know what a real unconditional friendship looks like - two people that support each other in various ways to be the best version of themselves, someone who will praise or challenge you in person about any beneficial or questionable decisions you make in life, someone who will never try to harm you in your face or behind your back in thought or deed.

If your not sure about your friendship with someone you know, I suggest testing your friendship by stopping something you like doing with them, something you may feel defines the friendship, see if they change how they treat you. If they start showing a new abusive face you haven't seen towards you before, then you know it was always a fake friendship.

If not then life will eventually expose them to you anyway, because whenever there is a moment where you are about to fall off a cliff - they will grab your hand to stop you from falling, just to be able to smile in your face before they dig in their claws and throw you off the cliff like Scar does to Mufasa in the Lion King.

You never know someone until you really know them, so I will stay aware of fake friends and clear my reactions should anymore arise in my life -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in extreme disappointment when someone shows themselves to be a fake friend, when really if i had been paying closer attention to the design of the friendship in common sense, then I would have spotted the toxic intentions earlier.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realise that if no solid foundations  are put in place at the start of the friendship to agree to support each other unconditionally to be the best, then that will always leave the door open for a starting point of separation, where abuse will seep into the friendship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in every breath that just because I have a clear starting point with a friend, does not mean that they do, no matter how much I try to convince myself they do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to trust someone is my friend, even when I have spotted their deception with others before and instead of paying attention to this, I simply acted as if i was blind to this and instead focused on the things i like about their character in self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that just because I like some part of a person's character, that doesn't justify ignoring their abuse or mean they will actually be a real friend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be honest with myself about the reality of some of my friendships in life, when I even see a hint of toxic intentions in someone I cannot allow myself to act like it is not there, because this is how one can get poisoned as a consequence in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not always  realise there is a real difference between someone who likes something about you and someone who really likes you unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that you can never expect trust from another, because real trust is self-trust. Trust is not given to others it is lived as self, so when one lives as self--trust, then this is where I can trust myself with life in totality and thus trust myself to only develop friendships of real value and worth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disappointed in myself whenever someone shows themselves to be a fake friend, because I know that If i had actually been more aware here as this breathe I would have seen the potential form harm sooner. I realise that this disappointment does not assist me in living what's best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that a fake friend will never really put themselves in your shoes, they will always judge you from their own experience as an observer, as god which is ego in complete separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that fake friends will never stab you in the back when they know they can get something from you they like such as money, sex, knowledge - but when they feel they cant get it as often or as much as they want in self-interest, then they will snake strike you.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that relationships based on shifting sand, based on separation is the reason we have a world of abuse, because everyone is pretending to support each other when in reality everyone is in competition with each other, which results in a  world of distrust, spite and conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in every breath that just because someone says they are my friend, that doesn't mean they are not actually competing with me, because they are reacting to some part of my character negatively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that a fake friend will always claim to be my friend when asked, but in reality in the secret mind they are actually a wolf in sheep's clothing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not being a trusting person based on being let down by many in my life, but in reality this is self-dishonesty because while I say to others I don't trust people easily, in reality I actually do, because of desiring to have as many friends as possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have as many friends of possible, when I realise that throwing a wide net with no set guidelines will always catch some toxic fish - it is best for all to take the time to actually tailor quality within my friendships first and foremost, not quantity. 

I commit myself to not allowing myself to react in disappointment when someone shows they are a fake friend, I realise that I cannot control what others do and If I don't take the proper care to build friendships of worth fake friends will always come again. So as and when I see my mind having thoughts of disappointment towards someone who i thought was a friend, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to interact with these thoughts as in doing so would only continue a pattern of separation, so i breathe and continue to do so until there is no more disappointment when someone who I could have spotted earlier if i applied more common sense shows they are a fake friend.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to ignore even the most subtle indication of abusive intent towards me I see in someone who is claiming to be my friend.

I commit myself to exposing fake friendships in life, through living as an example of real friendship as myself, through having a clear starting point with myself and with all my friends, where I only accept treating others as I would like to be treated, with true respect and honour.

I commit myself to living the realisation that humanity must develop a real friendship with themselves, with all life and until we can put ourselves in the shoes of all life, we will never change this world to what's best for all.