Day 325: A Group managed by Relationships of Chaos

What is one of the most simple ways to describe why Humanity and the world is the way it is? That we are a group managed by relationships and when we are self-honest we see that these relationships have and continue to be based in Fear, Self-interest, Greed and the allowance of all forms of abuse which has created a world of Chaos.

Just last night I went to see my friend who I hadn't seen in a while, he is a good friend of mine who recently has developed a relationship with a female partner. This was the first time I had met his new partner, yet he had described to me in weeks prior that things were a bit rocky.

As soon as I got to the bar my friend was on his own, I said hello brother, hugged him then asked him where his partner was - then he explained to me how they had an argument before I came down and she stormed out.

Now she did come back later, I assisted in them making up and everything was calm for the night at least then the 3 of us had a fun night - but while we were waiting for her to rejoin us I was having a cigarette and I considered that this relationship is chaotic just as my friend had already told me, and that the world is a manifestation of the relationships we have with ourselves and each other - which is why the world is in chaos right now, this chaos is me it is what I have allowed.

I for instance have had some supportive relationships with a  female partner, but they are few and far between - I have had far more short lived relationships that were chaotic in nature, so is it a surprise that some of my friends also seem to have chaos in their relationships with their partner? Not to me it isn't because relationships of Chaos have permeated all areas of my life to one degree or another.

We are in chaos and it is not acceptable to allow, because one day when we are gone all that will be left will be what we have allowed while we were here and what we have built into the stones of the earth from that allowance.

So lets change these relationships to be that which is best for all life, which is equality and oneness -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as relationships of chaos as pre-programmed patterns of fear and self-interest, greed and desire, my own personal happiness over the happiness of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow relationships of chaos to exist inside myself as thought, feeling and emotional patterns, my life through the choices/actions that are produced as a consequence, and the world which is a reflection of our unified allowance of such chaos.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment of breathe that what I allow then unconsciously resonantes into every being in this world system where abuse just becomes the norm - so if one says till here no further severing the relationships of abuse in ones life, then that becomes the catalyst for another to do the same and 1+1+1 we can literally change the fabric of our world to be what is actually beneficial to all life.

I forgive myself that I have not seen, realised and understood that my relationships of chaos, directly affect the relationships of all others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed relationships of chaos within and as myself to permeate friends, family, partners, work and money all throughout my life at various points.

I forgive myself that I not allowed and accepted myself to realise that the world we all share is a direct result of the nature of the accepted relationships that exist between people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a stand in my living to bring into my awareness that anytime I am taking instead of giving, there is always a lack because the nature of a relationship of taking has a basis in winning and competition, while the nature of giving is based on the common sense of caring, assistance and equality.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to not see that this planet has an abundance of resources for all, but that through fucked up relationship laws it is controlled and access is not granted to people unless they have money and the minority who have money will invariably waste so much of their resources often purposely for fear of the resources losing value.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to create and feed into a system that purposely leaves the majority with no economic relationship support while the minority are provided a never ending pool of financial relationship support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from being culpable by saying that my morality in my living can have no effect on the worlds of Politics, Economics and Law because they apparently have a "market force" life of their own - when I realise that in reality the only participant that creates these market forces is us, there is no separate force, it is our relationship to the market that determines it and you see right now how human Greed controls and protects profit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to be the spark in the the image and likeness of life where all relationships are based on what is beneficial for all life - instead I bitch, complain, blame doing nothing supportive change because of a desire to control everything with money, deceiving myself with false promises that I will "be different" when I have the all the money. But then as we see in the world when a person actually gets all the money, then the secret mind comes forward, gets supercharged. Then the initial intentions, the promises to make beneficial change dissipate through justifications of human nature being "unchangeable" yet still claiming to "not be changed by money" and the being just becomes another brick in the wall of the elite as money, which is the real motivator of all relationships which will only be abusive unless money is provided to all beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that my relationship to money shapes my reality and instead of being a net of support for life, I am a parasite for money an energy vampire looking for its feed before providing anything to another.

I forgive myself that I have not been able to build the inner strength and stoic focus to manifest sanity to the relationships on Earth through which I have defined life.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to ignore the reality that only relationships as all the moving parts input by the participants as the people determines the complete way of life on Earth right now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I  as an individual can do nothing about the relationships in the world as they exist and so have given up on the chance to change - thus I stand as a group that insists on individuality as pivotal to my experience, even while knowing that this just disempowers me and make me unable to make supportive change for all life then even building a fucked up individuality religion to deceive myself even more to not being part of a group that stands for all life through claiming that this individuality self-change religion can make a better world, when in reality this only disregards the fact that we are all just a group managed by relationships  and so I have fucked myself into endless egotistical destructive outcomes.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scar the nature of the individual as the ego and self-interest so deeply into my body, that only at death will erase this parasite of individuality unless I take a stand now and severe the abusive relationships and build new relationships of real value as life where all parts are included as the group not the individual. 

I commit myself to not allowing myself to manifest and feed into relationships of chaos, so whenever I see that my mind is wavering, having thoughts come up where a relationship of chaos is being considered, justified, I stop and breathe, I realise that Humanity is a group managed by relationships and so all relationship must be what is best for all life, so I breathe through these thoughts continually each time they come up,  until the frequency reduces and eventually will evaporate completely through my application here.

I commit myself to ensuring that the nature of all relationships on this planet are transformed to become a reflection of the nature of life as what is best for all life, where it will be the one and only group for all - the group that realises that the illusion is separation and individuality, that energy is finite and drains off teh physical, while life is eternal and thus naturally the physical always supersedes energy not the other way around.

I commit myself  giving my life to bringing heaven to all life as I know I cannot receive what I am not willing to give - I realise that my giving must be reflected in all my relationships where I must give no matter how my ego views it, because only those that smash the ego give all others the chance to also shake this parasite vampire of the individual.

I commit myself to living the realisation that life is the only relationship that is real - only life can give to life and so it is imperative that one honours the dust of the Earth because it is my flesh, I am all of existence.