Day 263: Are you an Alien? If you are not from HERE you will be. Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as an alien, as someone that is "not from here" I realise that this self-definition I have created myself as is actually based in and feeding into separation of myself from physical reality, because every time I interact with an alienation thought, I see how I am not here breathing, but rather existing within and as the pre-programmed mind where I isolate myself and limit my interaction with others which is not acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to as this Alienation character, to separate myself from others in certain situations, where there is a high amount of ignorance and then I will limit my interaction, where no equal understanding and respect emerge, but rather just a critical, distant and judgemental participation from me which is not helpful for me or anyone else.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here moment of breathe that the concept of being an Alien is not actually based on any form of common sense, because every being in this physical existence is here sharing this physical reality with me equal and one therefore - how can anyone not be that? I see that it is only through the ego, the pre-programmed mind of the human that causes any form of alienation of ourselves and others around us.

I forgive myself that I have defined and charged the word alienation with positive connotations, whereby when I speak and hear this word, it makes me feel comfortable because these memories of isolating myself as the alien is a comfort space for my mind, a built up automatic acceptance of "my difference" to others.

I forgive myself for projecting my bullshit onto the word Alienation, because in fact it is the state of being alienated, or the transfer of ownership - neither of these dictionary definitions means "being comfortable with separating myself from others" - I redefine the word Alienation in line with what is best for all - as a nation of aliens, all from different places walking in unity as a nation of life, where all races transfer ownership amongst each other equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as an alien based on my mixed race genetics since I was a child because most of my friends growing up were white - I realise that this process of singling myself out in my mind as the black sheep, is something I have been limiting myself as for far too long, I see my improvements through the years, but I see the moments where I still limit myself as this pre-program so I take self-responsibility to end these limiting moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since I was a child and hold onto the idea that I an Alien based on having a mother that is always very ill, when none of my friends really had to deal with this growing up. So I forgive myself for holding onto this idea, because in reality everybody knows a friend or family member who is sick in someway because this world we as humanity has created is sickness incarnate, a state of dis-ease as this capitalist money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as weird growing up, because my grandfather who was like a father to me spoke about things that a lot of people would call crazy or Alien even. Within this I forgive myself that I added more layers to the idea that I am an alien as a child, because I was the only one of my friends who had a grandfather for a father instead of a "normal father".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my real father and my grandmothers as alien to me, while it is true they never interacted in my life, allowing this fact to feed into the separation of myself is unacceptable - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my family in general as Alien, which again further fed into the limitation of myself as the ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as alien within my own family, because just like when I was around my friends, I was the one with the most mixed up genetics - I realise that this concept has been the catalyst for many angers within myself throughout teenage years.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not having a higher percentage of Aryan genetics in my physical design, I realise that this judgement stemmed from me reacting to comments my grandfather made about genetics and aliens growing up, then through the years I held onto this judgement which fed into the alienation of myself.

I forgive myself that I feared disagreeing with my grandfather whenever he would speak about Nazis, Aliens and genetics, because my grandfather looked a lot like Adolf Hitler, and he liked Adolf Hitler, which as a youngster made me want to listen to his word more as I learnt who Hitler was of course first through my grandfather - Hitler was known for his natural authority and I could always see this in my grandfather.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at the fact that my DNA is so mixed up and does not incorporate a higher percentage of Aryan genetics - I mean I have Aryan

genetics in me, as well as many other races, so what difference does the percentages make? None in reality it is only the ego that believes this to be of any importance and the ego is a holographic illusion, thus it is not real.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to my grandfathers words about genetics growing up, fear that even though he was not racist to me, that he could be if he wanted and that it might be hard for me to fit in with other people in life, becoming a charged emotional paranoia in teenage years which only contributed to my harsh and criminal mind that began to develop.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here moment of breathe that my incessant focus on genetics at a young age transferred directly from these reactions to my grandfather, which became a charged paranoia full of emotion which cannot assist me in living whats best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of my grandfather calling me Mars as a nickname - he was the only person who called me this, and my reaction to this nickname was years of defining myself through the planet mars.

I forgive myself that I have not realised that memories of my grandfather playing the track Gustov Holt - Mars the bringer of War and saying "this is you Mars" caused me to literally define myself as the destroyer that is not from here, which had the consequence of being a contributing factor as to me constantly trying to destroy things in teenage years.

I forgive myself that I for years I accepted and allowed myself to react as a fired up kind of strength when i heard this Gustov Holt track play while my grandfather said "this is you Mars", I would scream and shout, feeling like I'm powerful, yet again this has all contributed to the separation of myself from physical reality as an Alien.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a destroyer that is not from Earth, not from Here, I realise that no matter what anyone's connection is to anything, there is no justification to allow anything within and as me that only can cause abuse to myself and everyone around me, therefore I reprogram myself here to release these memories and these repeated reactions, to align myself with what is bets for all life as breathe here.

I forgive myself for regretting that ever since my grandfather died in 2013, I never got to ask him why he would always connected me to the planet Mars, I have feared for a long time that he was doing this as a form on programming to me for some purpose - so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my grandfather was trying to programme to me to believe that I am not from here in some way, I realise that he is dead now, no matter I feel I cannot ask him and his answer would be irrelevant, because now in my life I take full responsibility for every action I do and my grandfather saying something could not have changed that.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that "I was over" this Alienation character I have had for so long, but a situation at work and in my personal life recently showed me that I am not, so I must walk no matter how long until I transcend this shit for good.

I forgive myself for not realising in every moment that when I do not engage these Alienation thoughts that come up and I keep myself here as this breathe, then I am easily able to integrate with a person or group of people and then I have opportunities to plant seeds in amongst the crazy, stupid or ignorant activity they are doing which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger and a willingness to fight when I see people doing really stupid and uncaring things, it is like - ok this persons is really stupid, time for Mars to engage where only my harsh and direct verbal criticism can occur which only ends up causing reactions in other people and a fractious relationship with that person occurs which is not supportive for anyone.

I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that separating myself from abuse I see in others as this Alien character, is literally saying I have no responsibility to change myself to change this abuse that's here, which is bullshit.

I forgive myself that as the pre-programmed ego as this Alienantion character, I have thoughts like - why is this person/persons so stupid? Its like we are from different planets, Im so much smarter, why cant they see it like me, etc etc. I see how all of these thoughts are destructive in nature and thus have no place for any interaction, so I stop and breathe anytime these thoughts come up.

I forgive myself that I have allowed this Alien within me concept  to affect my interaction with others in this world growing up, there is only friction, limitation and self-interest as this Alienation character, I cannot allow this to continue, we cannot be and must not be aliens to eachother.

I commit myself to not allowing myself to Alienate myself with other people and groups - so as and when I see thoughts coming up in my mind that are based in separating myself from this person/persons, based in thinking we are different, based in treating them differently and acting distant and critical towards them, then I stop and breathe I do not allow myself to interact as I know there will only be teh continuation of this cycle of programming which supports nobody, so I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more Alienation that exists.

I commit myself to living the realisation that when I see ignorance and abuse in others, that I must integrate with them and as them, understand that I would be as ignorant if I lived their life, walk with them and then from here I can plant seeds through my own living example while I am with them.

I commit myself to not allowing the idea that Alienating myself from others is cool, is a good thing to do as this is just polarity friction which will not assist me, so as and when I see my mind thinking positively about defining myself as an Alien to others, then I stop and breathe, I do not participate with the thoughts, these thoughts are destructive and based in bullshit, all life is equal as the physical in reality - so I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more ideas that being an alien to others is positive.

I commit myself to no matter what finding a way to integrate with and direct the most difficult groups and people in this world to what s best for all through living as an example in my day to day application.